Thaw After the Frost

Macalania was a beautiful place she had to admit. The sights seemed almost magical. The butterflies, the drooping leaves of the trees, and the quiet hum in the air- it all made her heart swell with happiness. Yet, at the same time, a blade of regret pierced through it. Sighing, Lulu peered into the cool pool beneath her; she stared back, a daunting beauty frozen by the many tragedies she had faced.

Unwarranted tears stung her eyes. She forced them back with a blink of violet-tinted lids. What has become of me? she asked herself. I am not who I pretend to be. People always told me, "That which does not kill you makes you stronger." But in the end, am I really stronger? Her reflection held no answer, but Lulu already knew the response. She just didn't want to hear it. No, you're not. You're still the little girl that Sin first destroyed seventeen years ago; you're still just as weak and fragile.

I've lost so much because of Sin, she thought angrily. I lost my parents, Chappu, even Lady Ginnem. Though I thought my hard exterior was protecting my heart from pain, I still must face the facts. Because of Sin, Yuna must die... and it hurts. It has to be done not matter how much I hate it. I saw the contempt in Tidus's eyes. "Lulu! How could you? Isn't she like a sister to you! I thought you were family!" Lulu's hands tightened into small balls. He thought I wanted her to die? I knew from day one what would become of her... Wakka and I tried to stop her. But... "she follows... her heart." I would rather die in her place!

A bitter laugh tickled in the back of her throat. I used to think that she was too weak to be a summoner. I was wrong. She's stronger than any of us- in her own way. I know I wouldn't journey to my inevitable death, or marry another when I loved...

A warm hand rested on her bare shoulder. Surprised, she shrugged it off and turned to face the stranger. Her expression changed from anguish to a cool indifference upon meeting his concerned brown eyes. Lulu averted her gaze, guiltily. "What are you doing here, Wakka?"

"Lu, you all right?" he asked. "You've been standing here for a long time, ya?"

"I'm thinking, not that you would know anything about that," she replied coldly.

He winced. Ouch, but that's Lulu for ya. "Tell me?" he implored. A small smile spread upon his lips. "Heeeey, I'm a good listener, ya know."

If you ever listened you would never make so many stupid mistakes, she almost snapped. Though the words came so easily, Lulu bit them back. Play nice, she chided. He's trying to help. "I was thinking about Sin... and Yuna's pilgrimage," she admitted. "Part of me wants to believe what Tidus said at Home. There has to be a way. I... I don't want Sin to take Yuna away, too."

Wakka was taken aback at the emotions she was pouring out. She was never this open, never this depressed- even when Chappu died. She always kept things to herself. This pilgrimage must've really affected her, he thought "Aw, hey, come on now, Lu. Don't be sad. I trust Tidus, ya? There has to be another way. He loves her too much to just let her die, and so do all of us, right? So we gotta help Tidus find a way, no matter what."

"But before Tidus came along we were all so willing to sacrifice her!" she protested. "And for what- a few years of Calm? Is there anyone besides me who thinks that it's not worth her life?"

"I love Yuna as much as you do, Lu," he said softly. "We tried to stop her remember? It was the day we went to the temple in Besaid with Father Zuke. She said she wanted to come along 'cause-"

"She wanted to become a summoner, too," Lulu finished miserably. "Yes, I remember. I was so angry with her for even thinking such a thing after what happened with Lady Ginnem. I was closer to Yuna than I ever was with my first guarded, yet even our bond was a strong one. I couldn't bear to think about losing Yuna like I lost Ginnem or... Chappu. But she just smiled and said, 'Don't scold me, Lulu. I'm going to become a great summoner like my father. And when I do, I want you, Wakka, and Kimhari to be my guardians. We'll defeat Sin together, and then the rest of Spira will be happy.'"

"I didn't know what to say to that. You didn't either. Yuna's a force to be reckoned with, ya? So she went to the temple to study."

"And here I was wishing that Yuna would give up," Lulu whispered, "but she's come too far to stop now. I'm so proud of her courage- of her skill. She's become an even greater summoner than I could ever have hoped… and feared." Her chest hitched involuntarily. "Now we must find another way, but... I can't do anything when she... when she really... dies." There, she had said it. It was obvious to all what was to happen. They were almost to Zanarkand, where Yuna would obtain the final aeon. Someone would be sacrificed as the fayth, and when she summoned it... the power would consume her. The ordeal was simple. It had to be done. She knew from the beginning. So why did her heart feel so heavy?

Wakka's strong arms enveloped her trembling body. "She won't, Lu. Not if we're here. Not if we believe."

She shoved him away. "Believe in what? Yevon's false teachings?"

He caught her wrist. "There are other things to believe in than Yevon. You believed in Yuna, didn't you?"

Lulu turned away from him to hide her tear-streaked face. "That's different."

"Is it?" he asked. "I think you're just scared to hope."

Her head whipped around, scattering dark black braids across her alabaster skin. "What would you know?" she snapped. Inside, she was already berating herself for being so open. You fool! How could you think that Wakka would understand anything?

"I know a lot more than you think I do." His answer was met with a snort. "I saw you waiting for Chappu, ya? Day after day you sat at Kilika port, holding on to his promise. But he never came back, and now you think that if you wish Yuna will live, she'll die."

Anger clouded Lulu's mind. "And I'm the only one who hoped, Wakka? I am not blind. I saw the way you looked at Tidus, hoping that he really was your brother, not just a look alike. You even gave him his sword, for Yevon's sake, and I'm the one with the wistful desires? You're a hypocrite!"

"I never said there was anything wrong with hope," he responded softly.

She glared. "What's the point? Hope is futile in a world where the cycle of death is predestined. We can't escape it, so why even try to wish for something better?"

"That's your attitude about Yevon- about Spira?" Wakka spat crossly as his grip on her small wrist tightened. "A fine guardian you are, Lu. You don't even have faith in your promise for protecting Yuna! If you're so pathetic, then why are you here? What are you really angry about? That Yuna's gonna die, or that you lost Chappu? It seems that's all you care about. 'Chappu this, Chappu that. Tidus will never be Chappu.' Don't you think I know that? Don't act like you're the only one who misses him! He was my brother! You're not the only one who lost some one you loved to Sin!"

Lulu didn't know how to respond to his sudden outburst. All her life, Wakka had rarely said an unkind word to her, nor did he ever raise his voice at any woman. She was always the contemptuous and spiteful one. Abruptly, the roles had switched, and all she could do was stare in bewilderment as his accusation sunk in. ...I'm the hypocrite?

Immediately after he said the words, Wakka regretted them. His hold slackened and her arm fell heavily to her side. "Lu, I... I'm sorry. I shouldn't have said that. I didn't know what I was saying, ya?"

She turned her back to him and stiffened. "No, you were right. I was being selfish."

"No, you poured your heart out to me for the first time, and I yell at you for it?" He scratched his head and smiled slightly. "I'm a real jerk, forgive me, ya?"

"You have nothing to be sorry for," she retorted in her usual detached tone.

"Come on, Lu. Look at me."

Slowly, he placed his large hands on her waist, and spun her around. Lulu immediately resisted the touch, digging her heels into the dirt. When he pulled harder, her ankle almost twisted, and she lost her footing. She fell backwards and instinctively grabbed onto Wakka's vest strap for support. He too lost balance and tumbled onto the earth with her.

For a moment, Lulu just gazed into Wakka's dark brown eyes, and realized that suddenly Chappu was staring right back at her. She shivered and froze, feeling as though she would burst full of emotion at the similarities between the two siblings. She had never noticed it before, as Lulu had been more concerned with the strange resemblance between her former love and Tidus. Now, with Wakka's face hovering over hers, she realized just how many of Chappu's features were shared with his younger brother, and how many were deliciously just his own. Though Wakka shared Chappu's brightly orange-colored hair and tanned skin, he was much more built than his older brother. And his eyes were softer, almost contradicting his abundant muscles. Lulu squeezed her eyes shut as she felt her stomach contort in a strange fashion. Stop it!

Wakka watched Lulu's expressions change intently. She's so beautiful, he thought. A small blush crept to his cheeks. I wonder if…the thought was almost preposterous- outrageous. No way! Lulu treats me like a brother, nothing more. The most surprising realization, however, was that Wakka no longer treated Lulu like his sister. In recent years he'd grown more and more aware of the woman she had become. Who woulda thought that that skinny little girl who used to whack me over the head with her moogle doll would grow into such a knockout? In fact, it was difficult for him to think of Lulu differently than he did several years ago. But ever since her seventeenth birthday, it was against all male instinct to keep associating such a gorgeous woman with the awkward girl she once was. Wakka just couldn't ignore the elegant curves Lulu now sported that were entirely feminine and womanly. She's not a kid anymore, ya?

Is he looking at me? Does he know that I was...? Lulu's burgundy eyes glittered with amusement as she realized they both had been lying there, gawking at each other like fools for several minutes. Their compromising position was also quite humorous, as Wakka was situated right on top of her. A throaty chuckle escaped, and she pressed her lips together to silence the threatening laughter, hoping that Wakka hadn't caught the strange sound.

He didn't miss it. "Was that a laugh?" he teased.

She shook her head vehemently and glowered. "No!"

Wakka took his index fingers and pushed at her cheeks, forcing a smile. "Frowning uses too many muscles," he joked.

"Good, then I'm getting exercise," she replied, and then laughed at the stupidity of her retort.

"See? You're a natural Lu!" he encouraged. "Though, you should take the creepy level down a bit, ya?"

She punched him in the arm playfully. "Creepy? You should see your smile. It's downright disturbing!"

"Yeah, but it's grown on you, ya?"

"Yeah…" Lulu replied quietly. Wakka has grown on me, whether I'd like to admit it or not.

"You must be cold," he said, trying to break the silence.

She looking down at the gooseflesh just centimeters away from Wakka's own skin and frowned. "Yes, I suppose this dress isn't fit for Macalania," she responded dispassionately. It was a lie. She wasn't cold at all. In fact, she felt a strange heat spread through her body.

"That dress isn't fit to walk around in public in," he kidded. "What exactly is your battle specialty, huh? Black magic or distracting our enemies with that good-looking body of yours?"

Lulu's heart hammered, and her cheeks reddened uncharacteristically. He thinks I look good... she thought, confused at why she should be so excited by the simple compliment. She had received many suggestive remarks like that before. Why was Wakka's comment so different?

"Well, you shouldn't be talking with that revealing jumper you have there."

He mock-pouted. "It's not a jumper. It's my blitzball uniform, ya?"

"Blitzball, smitzball," she retorted. "You just won't where anything to cover up that manly chest of yours."

"Look who's talking, though I wouldn't call those manly."

He was staring right at her breasts. She blushed and slapped his cheek. "Pervert!"

Wakka rubbed his jaw gingerly. "Oh, you're going to pay for that," he said, a dark smile spreading upon his lips. He grabbed her wrists and pinned her down. She struggled in vain, knowing that he was much stronger than she, but not wanting to give in so easily. Here we go, he thought nervously. Let's hope I don't get another slap. Slowly, he lowered his face to hers and closed the gap between their lips. He kissed her, and her eyes snapped open, widening with surprise.

Fortunately, Lulu couldn't move to slap him, though she very much doubted she really wanted to. In fact, all she could do in response was kiss him back, letting the small human contact comfort her sadness. For a moment, that black void in her stomach was filled with a warmth she couldn't describe. Not even Chappu made her feel this way!

"Ahem," a voice interrupted.

He broke away, sitting up and releasing Lulu, who shyly looked up. Tidus and Yuna were standing next to each other, soaking wet. "Are we interrupting something?" Tidus asked with a large smile.

"Yuna, you're wet!" Lulu exclaimed, scrambling up to fuss over her young charge. Tidus and Wakka exchanged knowing looks. "What were you and Tidus doing in the lake?"

The two women walked ahead of the two men, Lulu scolding Yuna for her behavior. Tidus and Wakka lagged behind, grinning. "So, Wakka, you and Lu…?" Tidus inquired.

"Something like that," he answered cryptically.

"About damn time."

The end, kiddies!