New Beginnings

Chapter 2 – Many Questions

Flowing silver

Liquid gold

A chilling and unnerving stare

I never wanted to wake up. Maybe it would be nicer in the black void that I floated in for so long. There was nothing that I wanted to do less than to wake up and face the facts. Inuyasha was dead. And I killed him. But it seems that I would be forced to remember these things. It will forever haunt me. I can never escape this hell.

~*~

"Wake up girl." Sesshomaru grabbed Kagome's shoulder and shook it roughly. The young woman groaned and her eyes fluttered open. As soon as she caught sight of silver hair and gold eyes, she panicked, flung herself away from the demon lord and huddled in the corner, using her arms as a blockade. Sesshomaru raised a brow at the strong scent of fear and panic radiating from the girl. She must have me confused with my half-brother. A small streak of anger appeared unbidden at this thought and Sesshomaru walked over to the shaking girl and picked her off her feet by her upper arm.

Giving her a small shake to get her to open her eyes, he said, "Take a closer look girl. I am not my half-brother." Kagome's stormy eyes searched Sesshomaru's face and the smell of panic and fear completely disappeared to the surprise of the demon. She… does not fear me? "Tell me. What has happened to Inuyasha?" At the mention of the hanyou's name, Kagome's face was wiped clean of all emotions. She looked intently into Sesshomaru's eyes with an expression as guarded as his own.

"He is dead." She said shortly. However, Sesshomaru wasn't satisfied with the lack of detail. He growled. Softly and warningly. Kagome took the hint and elaborated. "He took the Shikon, became a demon, massacred the village, and chased me. So I had to kill him. I… purified him." A hint of sadness came into Kagome's expression.

Sesshomaru nodded and dropped the girl onto the ground unceremoniously. He growled warningly again as she began to protest. Silence befell the room. Kagome sat on the ground with an irritated look on her face. Sesshomaru glanced down at her. "Girl-"

"Kagome. My name is Kagome. Use it." Kagome said angrily. Within a heartbeat, she was pinned against the wall by her shoulders. Sesshomaru was growling dangerously inches from her face.

"Do not speak so disrespectfully to me girl. I will use your name when you have earned my respect." He dropped her again and snorted. "Go bathe. Your smell disgusts me. You will find fresh clothing in the furo. I expect for you to dispose of what you wear now. Your attire is indecent." Before Kagome could respond, Sesshomaru had disappeared.

~*~

It seems that I have been taken in by no other than Sesshomaru. Though what he wants with me is unclear. He orders me around as if I were his slave and treats me condescendingly. The drop to the ground and the growl was absolutely degrading. I don't know what to do. Should I stay and find out what he wants? Or should I try to escape. Either way, I fear that I will not live for long.

~*~

After she bathed, Kagome pulled on a new kimono. It was black with long belled sleeves and small silver flowers trailing up the sides. Kagome looked at her reflection in the water thoughtfully. "I look so different… so much like her…" Suddenly Kagome splashed the water so that her reflection wavered. She closed her eyes and tried to push back her sorrow. When she opened her eyes, the water had settled and showed a white haired demon standing behind her. Kagome spun around quickly and stared impassively up at Sesshomaru.

He simply stared back at her. "You intrigue me, girl." Then he turned and left. Sesshomaru paused at the sliding door of the baths and looked back at Kagome over his shoulder. "Feel free to explore, however do not stray to the North wing." He turned back to face the door and began to walk out. "You look better with out that scowl on your face." And he was gone.

Kagome stood there in surprise. "W-what was that all about?" Try as she might, Kagome could not get her mask back on and she fled the baths. She ran again. Twisting through halls and corridors, and crossing rooms. She had completely lost her direction, and didn't care. Tears streamed down her face and she could barely breathe through the sobs and the strain of running. For the first time since her friends had been killed, Kagome was grieving. She had kept all her sorrow and grief bottled up inside her, and now the tears wouldn't stop. Unexpectedly, Kagome hit something that felt like a brick wall. She fell back on the ground, but didn't get up. She just lay there and sobbed. Sesshomaru stood there. A rare look of surprise was on his face.

Sesshomaru looked down at the sobbing girl. For the first time in decades, he felt an overwhelming sense of pity. Kagome was making the most heartbreaking sounds he had ever heard. It seemed to him as if she was ridding herself of all sorrows and misery. Before he even noticed what he was doing, Sesshomaru found himself kneeled next to the girl on the ground. What am I doing? It was as if he was detached from his body and it was acting of its own free will. His hand reached out to Kagome and rested gently on her shoulder.

Kagome's head snapped up in shock and she stared into the face of Sesshomaru. A look of anger crossed her face. "What? Are you here to call me weak? You wouldn't be the first you know." She sounded bitter and spiteful. Kagome gasped when she finished speaking. "Oh god… what have I become…?" Tears filled her eyes again and she buried her face in her hands. "I don't want to be like her…"

Sesshomaru decided against questioning the girl since she was so upset. I'll leave her be. But only because I wouldn't get a coherent answer… right? With a sigh, he transferred his grip to her arm and helped her to her feet. Then, ignoring her look of surprise, said, "Come with me. I want to show you something." He led her back through the confusing castle and suddenly they were outside. Sesshomaru had taken Kagome to the gardens. They were the most beautiful things she had ever seen.

Kagome gasped as she took in the shining gold, silver and various shades of red roses that surrounded the fountains and walkways lined with weeping willows. She faintly heard a stream bubbling nearby. She turned to look at Sesshomaru. "It's beautiful. Thank you for showing me." Kagome smiled as true a smile as she could, considering the situation. Then she turned and walked over to one of the fountains. She sat on the edge and merely looked around.

But when she looked back towards the demon lord, Sesshomaru was gone.

~*~

I thought I had figured him out. But it seems that Sesshomaru isn't as cold-hearted as I thought, well as described by Inuyasha that is. A cold-hearted demon couldn't own such a beautiful garden as this, and he certainly wouldn't be so patient with a sobbing girl. I am beginning to think that there is more to Sesshomaru than I originally thought.

I still do not know what I am to do. I suppose I should stay here until I can figure something else. That girl, Rin, she reminds me so much of my little Shippo. Oh how I miss him. If for any reason, I will stay for her.

If there is one thing I fear, it is that I will become like her. Cold and emotionless. I don't want to be like that. I want to be the way I was before. Happy and carefree. But I am afraid that is impossible. The death of Sango, Miroku, Shippo and Inuyasha have taken away my childish innocence. It cannot be recovered. But perhaps I can regain some measure of happiness.

Only time will tell.

~*~

As Kagome sat among the roses, as small bundle flung itself at her stomach, knocking the breath out of her. "Kagome nee-chan!!" It shouted. Kagome looked down in surprise and saw Rin. What a cutie…

"Hello Rin-chan!" Kagome smiled warmly at the young girl who was now grinning her gap-toothed smile. "What brings you out here?" Rin pulled away and was so excited that she nearly danced from foot to foot.

"Sesshomaru-sama said that Rin could come out in the gardens as long as she didn't upset nee-chan!" She grinned again. Then grabbed Kagome's hand and tugged her along. "Come on! Let's play in the flowers!" She pranced away, leaving Kagome to follow.

Kagome smiled and shook her head hopelessly, then followed Rin into the field of flowers.

Sesshomaru watched the girls from his window. "Rin seems to be doing that girl some good." For some reason, Sesshomaru found himself determined to get Kagome back to normal. From what he remembered of her from his fights with Inuyasha, the girl had always had a stubborn fire in her eyes and a feisty manner. Though, recently, that fire seemed to have died down to a flickering spark and shone when he frustrated her. But Rin could help. The small girl has already made Kagome smile more than once. "Hmph, that girl… Kagome."

~*~

So… what did you think? I hope that you guys enjoy this! I do!

Next Time: Kagome regains some of her old fire, and Jaken appears into the picture. Sesshomaru finds himself acting more gently towards Kagome than anticipated.

Thanks for reading!

~myinuyasha04