Parvati Patil walked in the Charms corridors by herself. People looked at her as they walked past. Her sister, once her best friend now walked with her fellow Ravenclaws and whispered nasty things behind her back.
"Look, there she is," hissed a voice.
"Tell us, how did it happen?" asked another.
"Well," said a loud voice from behind her. "It was only that I did better than her on the OWL exams. Way better in fact."
Perfect Padma, she thought. Quit acting like you're all hurt. I was the one that got hurt. I didn't even do anything to you.
I'm tired of being what you want me to be
feeling so faithless
lost under the surface
I don't know what you're expecting of me
put under the pressure
of walking in your shoes
every step that I take is another mistake to you
Parvati denied everything. The speculations, the rumors, she tried to deny the truth. She tried to pretend that nothing had happened. She tried to convince herself that the owl that delivered the exam results delivered it to the wrong person. That is was Padma that did horribly on OWLs, that is was she that got excellent marks. She tried to refuse those thoughts that penetrated her mind, flashbacks that haunted her.
"Mum look! OWLs results. Oh, I hope I did really well. I did get stuck on the written exams. Oh blimey! Mum, Dad, I did really well. I probably may even put Hermione Granger to shame. What did you get, Parvati?"
"...nothing."
"Oh come on! Don't be such a wart. Show me what you've got. C'mon, show it to me!"
"I...I did just as well as you did, okay? Just has well as you did. Are you satisfied now?"
"Just let me see it, Parvati! Let me--"
"What the bloody hell did you just do?!"
"Well I only wanted to see it. I did better than you did too. Way better. What happened to you? You used to be excellent."
"Stop it!"
"What now, Parvati? What are you going to do? Wait until I tell Mum and Dad, wait till--"
"Rictusempra! Stupefy! Silencio! Crucio! I hate you! Be stunned! Be stunned and never wake up!"
It wasn't my fault, thought Parvati. I just ran out. I ran until I could go no further. It wasn't my fault that I...
Parvati's ice cold fingers touched her belly. Parvati denied the obvious. She denied that her stomach had started to swell. It was much bigger than it was two months ago.
"I never wanted it to happen okay?" she yelled back at those staring eyes.
"You did it, didn't you? You were on a rampage. Went too far with a guy. I'd never thought you'd be that kind of person, sister. I mean. You could have stopped it. You could have just told him that you wanted to stop. No, you let him go as far as he wanted. You went far too. Now look at you. You're pitiful. You're pregnant.
Parvati felt her eyes well up with tears and ran to the girl's lavatory. Luckily for her, there was nobody there. "You don't know," she whispered. "You thought I did it. I didn't! He raped me. I was screaming, writhing. I was no match for him. Why did I even go to that house? Why did I take the Knight Bus and end up in Little Hangleton? Why did I even venture out to that big old house with overgrown shrubs? He raped me. I could stop it. I was no match for He-Who-Must-Not-Be-Named.
I've
become so numb
I can't feel you there
become so tired
so much more aware
I'm becoming this
all I want to do
is be more like me
and be less like you
(Linkin Park: Numb)
