Yo yo all u happy people! How's life treatin' y'all? Sorry I haven't updated sooner, I've got The Block, and it's pure evil. I need to start this chappie now, but either it will be really short or not be finished for a while, as I have a swim meet this weekend, leaving virtually no time for anything that I actually like. So, thankee to the luvverly reviewers, SiriusSweetie, as usual, u rock, Suuki-Aldrea, u rock too. Any constructive criticism would be much appreciated, suggestions, dislikes, complaints, plot ideas, I'd even enjoy a flame if it gave me some ideas. Also, I have decided I will change my penname to Nenfea. I'll wait for people to read this chap, then switch it. Probably when I update again. Anyway, on with the show!

Jack Sparrow had spent the entire night planning. He hadn't slept; he was far too busy thinking of ways to win back Hermione to do that. His first idea had been to explain his view of the situation, but that was far too boring, and not-Sparrowish, so he decided to go for something more interesting. Even if it was copying everyone else in this fic, he didn't care; he still wanted to do it. So, he spent the rest of the evening planning when and where...

The next morning was a rather normal affair. Merry and Pippin were a tad depressed, as they had added another week onto their rounds of detention. They wouldn't have a free night until sometime in February. Aragorn and Will had gone public about the fact that they were dating, Harry was still being teased by everyone about what a wuss he was, and he was still crying. Arwen was flirting with every male in sight, and Ron was the only one flirting back. Hermione was still ignoring Jack, but for some reason he wasn't taking it as hard as usual. He seemed hopeful for some reason. He sat, cheerfully conversing with Fred and George, planning their next evil scheme and turning the porridge into pudding. Hermione sullenly buried her face in a book ("Giants: Monsters or Misunderstood?" to be exact) and began devouring bacon at an astonishing rate. When Lavender approached her and asked if she might want to cut down a little, she just glared.
"I'm ignoring the coolest guy in the world for making a little mistake, I need a some consolation here," she snapped.
"Ok, ok, I'm just trying to be friendly," Lavender replied, and went off to sit with Parvati, Merry and Pippin.
Hermione sighed, and looked at the next piece of bacon. "Why me? Why do I have to like the coolest guy ever, who just happens to be a murderer?"
"Well how am I supposed to know that? I didn't even know you liked the coolest guy in the world! Johnny Depp is a murderer?" the bacon replied. Hermione stared for a moment.
"I knew I shouldn't have had quite as much chocolate last night. Or else taken one of those sleeping pills. I've moved into the hallucination stage. Oh well, might as well just go along with it," she turned her attention back to the bacon. "I wasn't really addressing that question to you, it was more a general lament. Johnny Depp isn't a murderer. He isn't the coolest guy in the world, Jack Sparrow is,"
"Ok, that is so not cool Hermione. You shouldn't lie," the narrator butted in, as usual.
"Shut up," Hermione snapped back. "Anyway, when the Death Eaters attacked the Great Hall on Halloween, he killed some of them. It was really scary how he could be so sensitive, but then just kill someone,"
"Well if you ask me," the bacon replied. "And let's face it, you did, he was doing this in defense. He didn't want anything to happen to you. If anything, it shows that he doesn't panic, but keeps calm in bad situations,"
"I never really thought of it that way. So he thought he was doing the right thing?" the bacon nodded, which is a very difficult trick for a piece of bacon. Hermione smiled and ate the piece of bacon. It tasted really good.

A little ways down the table Jack smiled and finished off his piece of bacon. Everything had gone perfectly.
"I thought you were going to sing to her like everyone else in this fic," the narrator sniggered.
"Ah, I was, but I realized if I did that she wouldn't fall for it because it was overused. Now a talking piece of bacon throws her off guard so that I can do THIS!" Jack jumped out of his chair and sat instead at the piano that appeared out of nowhere. Fred and George took up the drum and guitar that suddenly were there.
"Not again," the narrator grumbled. But no one else was listening, because this was the author's favorite song, and if anyone talked during it they would experience a slow and painful death.

"Slow down you crazy child

You're so ambitious for a juvenile

But then if you're so smart tell me why

You are still so afraid?

Where's the fire, what's the hurry about?

You better cool it off before you burn it out

You got so much to do and only

So many hours in a day

But you know that when the truth is told

That you can get what you want

Or you can just get old

You're gonna kick off before you even get halfway through

When will you realize...Sparrow waits for you

Slow down you're doing fine

You can't be everything you want to be

Before your time

Although it's so romantic on the borderline tonight

Too bad but it's the life you lead

You're so ahead of yourself

That you forgot what you need

Though you can see when you're wrong

You know you can't always see when you're right

You got your passion you got your pride

But don't you know only fools are satisfied?

Dream on but don't imagine they'll all come true

When will you realize

Sparrow waits for you

Slow down you crazy child

Take the phone off the hook and disappear for a while

It's alright you can afford to lose a day or two

When will you realize...

Sparrow waits for you.

But you know that when the truth is told

That you can get what you want

Or you can just get old

You're gonna kick off before you even get halfway through

Why don't you realize...Sparrow waits for you

When will you realize...Sparrow waits for you" Ahhh, Narrator, your line.
"What? Oh sorry," the narrator looked up from her game of FreeCell. "I'm just about to win, hold on a second," the narrator won her FreeCell game and... Jack finished his song, and Hermione started crying. They made out in front of everyone for a while, and everyone ooooohhhhhed and aaaaaaahhhhhhed properly. Isn't it wonderful?
So, if you're sick of me rambling, how about you REVIEW with a lovely suggestion, idea or anything, I really don't care. The more reviews, the more I update.