Authors Note: I've been in a sad mood lately, that's when u write the best, or the saddest or something. So here's a little angsty fanfic about Kikyou and Inuyasha's relationship told in Kagome's eyes (what she sees)
H.E.R.
Kagome's Pov
Inuyasha looked at the bowl of ramen with an empty stare having no interest in the hot food before him. "Inuyasha" I asked looking at the hanyou moving over towards him, he didn't even acknowledge my existence. I knew he could sense her I knew he wanted to see her, it was the look in his golden eyes the look of longing and never having. To see but to never touch, to hold but not to have, The look of need, and I wonder why I could never give him what he wanted- or needed.
I knew he would see her tonight we all knew, I received the looks of pity from my friends as the fire crackled in front of us. Soon we would sleep, and soon Inuyasha would go. I wonder when he goes is he happy when he sees her? Does it ease the pain that he's feeling now? I loathe Kikyou for the pain that reflects in his eyes, but I can never make that go away, he would never need me as he needs her.
Between Inuyasha and Kikyou, between everything they've been through, how could they give that up? Kikyou's worked so hard to be with Inuyasha again, now the only way for them to be together is death. I want Inuyasha happy more then anything in the world, but I couldn't bear to pretend as if we never happened. Inuyasha doesn't love me the way I wanted, or even the way I love him, maybe…he never has. He loves me as he does Miroku and Sango; I see that now I just wish I didn't have to except it.
I crawl to my sleeping bag, Shippo jumps into my arms as we curl up together. I see Sango take a position on one of the mats, Miroku sits by the door, and I lay there my back towards everyone Shippo cuddling into my chests drifting into a gentle sleep. I hear him now, he rises to a stand as the floor creaks and the grass door rustles against the wind. I know not to follow him, but my feet seem to disobey me, I stand slowly leaving Shippo in the sleeping bag as I follow a safe distance behind him.
Soon enough there she is. I see Kikyou, I know she knows I'm there…yet she says nothing. I watch as Inuyasha approaches her, and I take shelter behind a tree. I always hide.
"Kikyou" his voice is filled with pain and emotion, it's thick with it.
"Inuyasha, you picked up my scent did you not?" her voice was clear and calm, silencing the night's air and everything around us.
"I needed…to see you, I missed you" His voice was but a mere whisper, it looked ashamed his head bent over, his ears drooping.
She smiled slightly towards Inuyasha as her raven hair cuts through the breeze, it hurts watching the two stands there as Kikyou wrapped her arms around Inuyasha's waist pulling her towards him.
I wonder when it became this painful to watch the two of them together. I don't remember clearly, your head is such a mess before you cry. I don't want to cry but I can feel the tears brimming my eyes, the water running down my cheeks, and a few salty drops hitting the ground. I look up, he's in her arms now, and she's merely soothing him as if he were a child, and in his eyes I see the look of happiness…and I am hurt.
I rise to a stand behind the tree my knees tired from kneeling, he will go soon, and it is almost dawn. I watch as they stand up, looking at each other and for another moment I see the sadness in his eyes. I watch as she touches the rosary, the beads dwindling on his firm chest. I was the barrier between the two, I was the problem. I watched as she kissed Inuyasha's lips and he turned to go. I stopped him as he turned around.
"K-kagome"
I stood there, I could feel my hands trembling, and my body was breaking down before me. It was so hard, but I was so sure. I stepped towards him as Kikyou watched her brown eyes wide as I reached my arms to encircle his neck. My hands interlocked with the back of the rosary beads, I could see them glowing now as I shut my eyes. Tears were running freely down my face now as I stood on my tiptoes whispering into his ears.
"Become Happy"
The beads broke, snapping to the ground like thousands of little bullets encircling us. I looked at him managing a small smile, turning my back towards him, I started off in a slow walk and then I ran. I ran from what I had done.
I would never come back.
I would never hurt Inuyasha.
I would never see Inuyasha.
I would never be happy again.
Authors Note: eh comments? No flames for pairings!
