Slowly. Slowly.

One step at a time.

Drop the flowers on the floor.

One at a time.

Slowly. Mommy said slowly.

I look pretty.

Daddy's up front. Go to daddy.

Slowly.

Drop one flower. And another. And …

Everybody's looking at me. Uncle Garret, Uncle Nigel, Aunty Lily, Uncle Bug, … everybody.

Nearly there. Daddy's there.

Slowly.

They are looking …

Daddy!

Come 'ere, hon. Look at mommy.

Mommy's pretty.

She's coming with grandpa.

She's very pretty.

Wow.

Daddy's looking at mommy. Everybody is looking at mommy now.


Most parents get married before their first kid is born. Some get divorced afterwards. Others of course don't get married at all. Mine got. Married that is. But I was already two then. I was the flower girl.

Of course there are pictures and such, so I probably know how everyone looked like from those. But I remember that day a little.

I never told anyone, but I was scared walking down that aisle. I knew I had to walk slowly and drop the flowers one at a time. That was ok. But everybody staring at me wasn't. I tried not to look at them but I could feel their looks. I was very relieved when I reached dad.

I don't remember much of the rest of the day. Just that it was long. And that I didn't like going home.

I think it was the first night I knew neither mom nor dad were going to be there. They had been gone before that of cause. They must have had night shifts. Or got called in in the night. But then only one of them was gone or I didn't know they were.

That night I was alone with grandpa and I knew. I was scared. I didn't want to go to sleep. I guess eventually I did though.

The next morning mom and dad weren't back. I remember waking up and going to look for them. But I couldn't find them. Guess they did come back sometime during the day.

And they probably made my brother that night. Cause babies need nine month to come out and Matty was born about nine month later.

When Matty was born I was a few month short of being three. The first few weeks of his live mom stayed at home. I was happy and exited about that. But soon I found out that it wasn't exiting. The baby was crying a lot and when he was sleeping mom was too. Mom didn't spend much time with me. I didn't like that and I blamed it on Matty.

But after a while things got better. Matty stopped crying so much and mom and dad spend more time playing with me.

Now it's great to have a little brother. Matty looks up to me. I can tell him to do things. And it's always good to have an ally if it comes to getting things or staying up longer.