YAY! Thanks to Elenrod, who is the first reviewer again! Tra la! Uh, about the talking food-I like food that talks, it makes life much more interesting. And as you are about to find out, it's a common spell learned in first year charms. Also thankee to Siriussweetie. Anyway, on with the show!
Voldemort took the pizza into the living room where Elizabeth, Peter and Crouch were waiting.
"Pizzas up!" everyone gathered around and grabbed at the pizza, except for Elizabeth who held back, looking slightly disgusted.
"What's the matter Elizabeth?" Voldy asked around his mouth full of pizza.
"I don't feel so good, I think I'm going to lie down for a little bit," Elizabeth made a hasty exit towards her room. Crouch grimaced. It had actually been HIS room until she had come alone. Now he had to share with Wormtail. The freak didn't even use deodorant. It was disgusting! Sometimes it seemed like Voldy really was losing his mind. Crouch took a dainty bit of pizza, edging away from Voldy and Wormy, who were stuffing their faces, pizza sauce running down Wormtail's chin, and cheese hanging from Voldy's teeth. Soon, the pizza was gone, and the three went their separate ways, Voldy watching TV, Wormtail playing GameBoy, and Crouch receding to the quiet of his room to read "Are You On the Breaking Point? A fair look at whether you need counseling, and how to find the proper help"
"How long has it been?" Aragorn asked.
"Well let's see, it's been thirty seconds since the last time you asked, so that would make it TWO MINUTES since they got the pizza," Jack glared at Aragorn.
"Sorry, I'm just so bored,"
"Here, have this," Jack handed Aragorn a GameBoy with Pokemon stuck in it. Aragorn wasn't heard from for the rest of the operation.
"Ok, it's been forty-five minutes since they got the pizza. The spell takes affect about a half hour after they eat the pizza, and stays in affect for two hours. We should be good. Just get in, get Elizabeth and get out. Understood?" there was general murmers of assent. "ARAGORN! Snap out of it!" Aragorn looked up from his game. "Did you hear what I said?" Aragorn nodded. "Ok, let's go." Aragorn, Jack, Harry, and Hermione slid out from behind the bush and ran towards the Riddle House. Ron stayed behind, just in case someone came (yeah, right like that's gonna happen).
The four entered the house without a hitch.
"Split up," Jack ordered. "Aragorn and Hermione, search down here, Harry and I will take upstairs," they spread out. Hermione looking distastefully at Voldemort slung over the couch snoring and drooling slightly.
"Hermione, remind me again what the spell did?" Aragorn asked without looking up from his Game Boy.
"It put them to sleep. Go check in the den, I'll look in the bedroom," Hermione tiptoed into Wormtail and Crouch's bedroom, then checked the kitchen, and dining room. She was beginning to wonder what had happened to Aragorn, so she looked in the den too. Wormtail was sleeping peacefully on the couch, a Game Boy clutched in one hand. Aragorn was standing over him, staring down at the man, a look of complete content on his face.
"Aragorn!" she hissed. "Aragorn! What are you doing?!"
"He's so beautiful," Aragorn replied in a strange voice. "I think I'm in love. Will was just an Arwen replacement, but I really think I'm in love,"
"Aragorn! We have to hurry up and get out of here. We would try to capture them and bring them back to Hogwarts, but it's kinda far and they might wake up. Besides, it would look weird to have them on the Subway. The point is, we have to leave, you can't love him, and STOP LOOKING AT HIM LIKE THAT!" Hermione's voice was rising. "It's disturbing," Aragorn just smiled, and in the background "The Longest Time" started playing.
"Who's playing that music?"
"Sorry," the Narrator apologized, and the CD player turned on. "Aragorn, be a dear and push the play button," the Ranger moved in a daze, and "The Longest Time" came on again. Aragorn sighed, and sat down, intent on not moving.
"Aragorn, what if he wakes up?" Hermione hissed.
"Well then I'd finally get to meet him,"
"Fine, stay here and die," Hermione sauntered back into the kitchen. Jack, Harry and Elizabeth were standing there.
"Where's Aragorn?" Jack asked.
"In love,"
"What?"
"Don't ask."
"Are we ready to go then?" Harry started edging towards the door.
"HEY! A karaoke machine! Cool!" Jack ran over to the karaoke machine, and pressed a few buttons. "Always a Woman" started playing. The ex-pirate turned to Hermione and started singing his heart out.
"She can kill with a
smile
She can wound with her eyes
She can ruin your faith with
her casual lies
And she only reveals what she wants you to
see
Yeah, she hides like a child
But she's always a woman to
me
She can lead you to love
She can take you or leave
you
She can ask for the truth
But she'll never believe you
And
she'll take what you give her, as long as it's free
Yeah, she
steals like a thief
But she's always a woman to me
CHORUS
Oh-she
takes care of herself
She can wait if she wants
She's ahead of
her time
Oh-and she never gives out
And she never gives in
She
just changes her mind
And she'll promise you more
Than the
Garden of Eden
Then she'll carelessly cut you
And laugh while
you're bleedin'
But she'll bring out the best
And the worst you
can be
Blame it all on yourself
Cause she's always a woman to
me
CHORUS
She is frequently kind
And she's suddenly
cruel
She can do as she pleases
She's nobody's fool
But she
can't be convicted
She's earned her degree
And the most she
will do
Is throw shadows at you
But she's always a woman to me"
"Thank you Jack, that was very sweet, but I don't think this was quite the proper time. We need to go now," Elizabeth smiled. Jack looked slightly put out, but he led the way through out of the living room, down the hall and past the bedroom.
"I thought it was beautiful," Hermione reassured him as they passed the door.
"STOP RIGHT THERE!" Crouch came flying out of the room, his wand out and sparks flying. The effect was slightly ruined by the fact that he was yawning, and rubbing his eye with one hand.
"WHAT?!" Jack yelped. "Didn't you eat any of the pizza?"
"Only one piece. I'm not a pig like those freaks. I only wish I had vomited it before I went to bed,"
"Eeeeeeeeeeeeewwwwwwww that's disgusting. Are you anorexic?" Elizabeth asked.
"Ah, erm, actually ah yes,"
"Are you sure you don't need some treatment for that? Because I know a really good clinic right near here. One of my friends had an eating disorder, and I went with her the first time,"
"NO! I need to kill you all! You came, just like Voldemort said you would, and now our plan will succeed!"
"Actually, no it won't. Petrificus Totalus," Hermione said matter of factly, her wand pointing straight at Crouch. He fell, paralyzed in a heap on the floor.
"It's all really tragic, innit?" Elizabeth commented as they passed by the unconscious form.
So, what's going to happen next? Will Aragorn spend the rest of his life fawning over Wormtail? Or will the rest of his life only last until Voldemort wakes up and needs someone to take out his temper on? How will I keep this story interesting? Should I end it soon? What is going to happen? Suggestions are most definitely welcome!
