Snow Calibur
By ArchangelUK

Part 2: Many thanks to those who took the time and trouble to review, in response to some of the concerns raised if Raphael was a French noble around the time SC2 takes place he would have been Roman Catholic as that was the way things were. However I will be dealing with this as no I don't think Raphael particularly believes in anything except for Amy at this time, although this story is a General story this chapter is more light hearted as lets face it all those different goals, different paces and different feelings makes the group somewhat dysfunctional by default. As soon as they arrive in the farmhouse though we'll get back to the main point of the story.... yes it does have a point.

ArchangelUK (23/12/03)

I do not own Soul Calibur or The Legend Of Zelda just this weird glowing triangle on the back of my hand, hmm, curious...

Part 2: Festive Hazards

The snow crunched under their feet, the feel and texture of the snow was mind boggling to the youngest of the group, growing up in India she had barely even been exposed to a cold snap before and although she was now having to wear a pair of spare boots from Ivy which made her look like the village harlot Talim was thrilled to bits by the winter wonderland around her. Maxi did not like the snow and ice at all, muttering something about 'water should be moving like the sea' he lagged behind the others with Siegfried who was still both hampered by his lingering injuries and lost in his memories - or rather Azure Nightmare's memories.

Talim and Xianghua were giggling and pointing various things out to each other dragging poor exhausted Kilik from pillar to post so he had the benefit of observing also. That left Raphael who walked purposefully at the head of the group trying to discern their direction over hills and fields blanketed by a thick white carpet of snow. In the summer he could have found his way around this province blindfolded but now, well, that was a different matter entirely. About seven or so metres behind him the last two walked with a quiet air of dignity, Link stretched his arms behind his back.

"You like her don't you?" Ivy asked him, knowing full well Link couldn't understand her. "Talim?"

"Ivy semai swah?"

"Never mind." She waved a hand in apology and offered a small smile; Ivy was by experience a very good judge of what people thought. She could read what was behind even the strongest emotional mask. It was because of this she could turn any situation to her advantage, not only that but it was because of this she had stayed alive as long as she had. Not that the innocent eyes of the young elf were difficult to read, the mere mention of her name made his pupils widen to their maximum, that was all the sign she needed and all the conformation she required to start her plan.

"Ivy!"

She rolled her eyes and turned around to face Xianghua, "What is it now?"

"I think we've found some holly!"

"Well, why don't you bring some along?" Smirking the Countess Valentine turned her back just in time to hear:

"Sure thing I owwwwwwwwww!"

"Xianghua I told you it was prickly!" Kilik admonished, shaking his head. Xianghua held her hand under her armpit as if to protect it and began muttering various choice Chinese phrases under her breath.

"Siegfried, this is the woman that defeated Soul Edge four years ago?" Maxi looked on in disbelief.

"That she did, and will most likely be the one to do it again this time."

"Poseidon help us!" The sailor muttered as Xianghua drew the poisoned Soul Calibur blade and began hacking furiously at the holly bush.

"Xianghua er"

"Stupid Foreign Scrub Plant Hurt ME!" Growled the young woman punctuating each word with a swing of her sword and a sending an entire branch full of holly flying through the air.

"Xianghua there's no need to actually kill the plant, it's a living being too." Talim was getting cross; luckily Kilik finally lost patience and blocked the next sword strike with Kali-Yuga.

"That's enough Xianghua." Kilik's eternally calm eyes immediately diffusing any anger within those of his friend. "I think it surrendered some time back."

Although entirely serious the mirth in his voice was inescapable and also infectious and as Siegfried and Maxi went past even the former azure knight was forced to give a chuckle. Xianghua stood in a void of emptiness, desolation all around her, a neat hole in the hedgerow and what had been there dispersed in all directions about her.

"Well, now that you've had your revenge oh mighty warrior perhaps we could get back to trying to find this farmhouse?"

"But we want some holly!"

Killik rubbed his eyes with his index finger and thumb and then gestured at the devastation around her. "Then pick some and I'll carry it."

Xianghua pointed to a large branch, which Kilik passing his staff to Talim picked up by the base, of course this wasn't the best approach with him being bare handed also and soon he too growled in annoyance looking at the three inch long scrape along the back of his wrist.

"Told you." Xianghua stuck out her tongue.

"I don't mean to hurry you." Raphael called from which turned out to be some way away by now, "But Christmas is in less than two days and we would like to find this dwelling on masse sometime soon - when you've finished?"

"Ivy said this was part of Christmas, I think we should really take some with us." Talim was about to say that she wasn't sure how they were actually going to take it if all it did was scratch them when she was interrupted by a frustrated sigh in Hylian.

"Mekris doght?" Link tightened his leather gloves then picked up a large sprig of holly and attached it to his rucksack. "Cengris cor surlum ta."

"Now you see that's smart, why didn't I think of that!"

"You were too busy earning an 'honourable vengeance'."

"Kilik!"

About twenty minutes later they stumbled upon the farmhouse, as luck would have it was indeed empty, though a better description would be it was deserted. The windows weren't so much snowed up as covered in a nasty snow-grunge hybrid, the gate appeared to have been smashed open from the inside outwards and chickens wandered around in various states of health. The biggest of these, unsurprisingly the cockerel veritably charged up towards Xianghua and began to crow agitatedly.

"I don't think this one likes me." Xianghua said taking a cautious pace backwards.

"It's male and it's defending what it believes to be its territory." Siegfried stepped forward purposefully and stared directly at the bird, which flapped its wings stubbornly not the least bit intimidated by the big human in front of it. Emitting a low growl, Siegfried flexed his claw letting the scaly metallic skin grind over itself menacingly. The sound would strike terror into the heart of any man, the cockerel too got the message loud and clear and scuttled off in the direction of its coop as fast as it's little legs could carry it.

A somewhat pristine hen began pecking in the grass near Talim and she smiled sweetly, leaning down to pet the bird that made a low sound in its throat indicating it liked what she was doing. "These are cute."

"I wouldn't get too attached to that Talim." Maxi warned, "It's the fattest one here and will most likely be our dinner."

"What?"

"Maxi's right little one." Raphael picked up the bird gently, "Unless we find a proper turkey on this farm this one's for the pot."

Raphael was expecting Talim to start tearing up but of course he had forgotten who and what exactly Talim was. She looked at the bird, shrugged nonplussed and with somewhat graphic language began telling Raphael various ways to pluck, treat, prepare, fillet and cook the bird. By the end of which Raphael felt slightly sick and putting the hen down held a hand to his stomach to try and steady it.

"Would you like me to gut it for you?"

"Um, I don't think anyone here is as qualified as you." He was right; all those that were vaguely familiar with the bird had precisely no idea of how to go about actually cooking one. Amy had always done anything like that since his family cut their ties to him as well as its purse strings, Ivy was after all a countess and Siegfried too had a noble background. "I have to ask though how do you know so much about, um, 'dealing' with animals."

Talim adjusted the pair of elbow blades attached to her belt, "As the wind priestess of my tribe I am required by sacred tribal law to conduct various ceremonies at certain times of the season such as before the rainy season and harvest time. Sacrifices to the Wind Deity are part of the traditions that go with this and it is up to the representative of the tribe to carry this out."

Raphael nodded glad he wasn't going to have to carry out all the seemingly overly messy bits, he could quite easily have the birds organs dancing all over the floor with his beloved rapier in a matter of seconds however having never actually had to cook a bird himself was somewhat relieved he could leave this in Talim's apparently quite lethal hands.

After a quick survey of the exterior of the farm yielded a small if slightly over-run herb garden yet more chickens and an extremely obese pig it was time to finally inspect the farmhouse itself. For it's time the building was a wonder of architectural design, though a farmhouse in the middle of a rather run down farm the building was ridiculously vast at least from the outside and looked on sheer size more like a villa. This would be useful as sleeping arrangements in the cave had been somewhat awkward and everyone likes their own small bit of privacy. Turning the outside door handle Raphael found the door rather reluctant to budge.

"It's locked."

"You were thinking he'd leave a house this size open for anyone to come along and walk inside?" Maxi said sarcastically, rolling his eyes.

"Hmmph."

"Come on Raphael help me break down this door." Maxi and Raphael stood together and charged shoulder first into the thick wooden door

Thump

then rebounded off it to land in a heap on the snow. Maxi held his shoulder groaning and Raphael who was underneath him angrily pushed him off.

"Blasted door must be made of English Oak, only a door made out of that could be so stubborn."

"Typical men." Ivy sighed, "Always ready to use any muscle except the one that matters."

"Oh and I suppose you know a way to get inside?" Maxi said curtly, dusting himself off.

"Actually I do have an idea." She winked and drew Valentine from her scabbard; then slowly and carefully she slid the blade under the crack at the bottom of the door. The gap was so big and Valentine so thin that Ivy was able to get most of the sword into the house before the sheer thickness of the blade meeting the hilt and guard stopped any further progress.

"What's goods that sword of yours? We need force to break it down!" Maxi continued but Raphael gaining a sense of her plan before the sailor put a hand on his shoulder stopping any further protestations.

Raphael leaned close to Maxi's ear and whispered, "Watch quietly - and learn."

Valentine knew this plan well; it had done this a few times before when deemed necessary. There had been many tales around Europe of powerful men being killed in their sleep yet the assailant somehow got in and out of a locked room without breaking and entering. No clues, no evidence save for the corpse, nothing. The intuitive sword curved upward and examined the door, which was indeed very thick and sturdy despite this there appeared to be only one lock in operation. Naturally the two dead bolts at the top and bottom could not be closed from the outside when the owner left. Slithering serpent-like along the floor Valentine 'looked up' and examined a row of jars on a shelf relatively near the door. Were it to have a face in reality the sword would have narrowed its eyes suspiciously, there were many things that were the same no matter where you went in the world. One of which as Ivy (and therefore her sword) knew was the human ineptitude for losing important things and if it was one thing humans lost more than anything else it was keys.

The other thing was that humans always liked to have a plan B; they were probably the only species on the planet to think of a contingency for most any event. Lost keys included. So no matter how rich or splendiferous a house was, whether king or queen or pauper lived in it they always, always had a spare key close to hand. Always.

The smash and crash of something hitting the floor rang out through the house, a few seconds later the tip of Valentine curled out from under the door with something attached to it.

"The key!" Maxi exclaimed, "By the Gods."

"By my Valentine." Ivy corrected withdrawing the sword and successfully opening the door. "Shall we go in? I don't know about you but I'm most frightfully cold."

"That's because of your choice of outfits." Siegfried looked up and down at the distinct lack of clothing the woman wore.

"You can talk, just because you can't find any clothes to put that claw through doesn't mean you have to go bare-chested everywhere."

"When you two have quite finished bickering." Interrupted Xianghua as she entered the farmhouse, followed quickly by Raphael, Talim and Kilik.

Ivy scowled at the Chinese girl, "Just because it's me for once and not her and that pole-twirling pretty boy."

"Rather harsh." Siegfried scolded, then looking around in confusion became immediately concerned. "Ivy, have you seen Link?"

"No, not since we came into the farm."

"LINK?"

"Qergo sa!" Came a reply from around the corner, Siegfried looked at Ivy.

"He wants help"

The pair dashed around the corner to find Link standing with his back to them, both Master Sword and Hylian shield drawn and in a defensive position.

"Link what's wrong?" Approaching the elf Ivy was surprised to find him somewhat alarmed and frightened by the foe in front of him - the cockerel.

"Frig ais weh't - zum sy weigos lunkt!"

"He says it's a very dangerous animal and warns us to stay back."

"It's just a chicken, it's harmless."

Link then went off into a flurry of scared and angry Hylian that left Siegfried struggling to keep up. The only word he could decern was that this wasn't a chicken but a - "Cuckoo?"

"What?"

"He keeps calling it a"

"Feikram!"

"A cuckoo?"

"He's cuckoo alright."

"It seems they have something similar in Hyrule, quite deadly if they're in a foul mood."

"Or a fowl mood." Ivy said dryly, wondering how on earth a hen could be deadly. If it was a hundred hens maybe, but one solitary bird that could be impaled on her sword in the blink of an eye? No.

"Ivy!" Siegfried snapped, "He's deadly serious. Come on Link; let's go inside out of this cold. Terr'ok zeitrem pus kil-i."

"Feikrem! Feikrem!" Link insisted and began ushering Ivy back, naturally it was at that moment when the cockerel started to crow at him. Link leapt backwards in blind panic dropped his shield sheathed his sword and turning tail picking up a surprised Ivy in his arms and began running for the door. "Siegfried trein! TREIN!"

"LET GO OF ME!"

"Treeiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiin!" Link bellowed over his shoulder at Siegfried as he literally dived through entrance bowling straight into Xianghua who was just coming outside to find out where everyone had gone. Not that Siegfried could run as Link suggested but he didn't need to fortunately, the cockerel recognising the big man with the claw made itself scarce and with a ghost of a wry smile on his lips the ex-knight picked up Link's Hylian shield and walked calmly inside where a number of people including a furious Xianghua wanted to know what on Earth was going on.


To Be Continued....


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ArchangelUK 0:o)