Wahoo! I just got two reviews today! Thank you everybody! That means Beth, thequeeneb(please start using punctuation on your reviews, that was slightly confuzzling), Elenrod (you get reviewer of the day! Thanks for reviewing almost every chappie!), Dear Alohi Luana (I didn't understand most of that, just so you know. Thizzle to da mizzle? Where did that come from?), Tinania(Precisely! The insanity is what makes it fun!), and last but not least, Kat. If you read but didn't review, death and destruction upon your family for all eternity (I really don't mean that. I just like to use parentheses way too much). Anyway, I'm still trying to come up with a plot, but that's ok. Any suggestions are welcome. Anyway, On with the show!
Harry stared for a moment. "Excuse me Sam, did you just say Frodo was pregnant?"
"Yes," Sam smiled proudly. "I'm going to be a daddy again,"
"Ok, very gross disgusting images Sam, please don't say that kind of thing," Hermione grimaced as she joined them. "And anyway how is this possible? Last I heard Frodo was male. He is isn't he?"
"YES!" Frodo yelled at the top of his lungs. "How bout we go discuss this somewhere a tad more private," he cast a suspicious glance at the crowd of students gathering around them. "I don't think they all need to know,"
"I think it's too late for that," Harry muttered under his breath.
Meanwhile in other part of the castle Jack was meeting Gladys for the first time.
"GANDALF?" He asked incredulously of the powder puff in front of him.
"How many times must I tell you? I'm no longer Gandalf. I'm Gladys. Serafina Carolina Gladys. SC Gladys for short. (A/N-Sorry, that's sort of an inside joke. SC stands for sex change. Don't ask why that's an inside joke. It's a long story). Don't you just LOVE my new shoes?" it held one pink slippered foot out. It had a puff of something pink and possibly even alive attached at the toe.
"Ah, Gladys, is that alive?" Jack's mouth was working like a gaping fish. He couldn't seem to stop it moving.
"Of course it is silly. Haven't you been in DADA for the past week? It's a powder fairy. They're pastel colors, they create a light magical powder that has many uses in beauty products and they love to be shown off on clothing. I have some extras. Do you want one for Hermione?" Gladys beamed at Jack, in a way frighteningly reminiscent of Lockhart.
"Ah, that's ok Professor, I don't think Hermione's really that type of girl,"
"None of this professor stuff now. It's Gladys! Well, if you're sure you don't want one, I have to be on my way. I have to get ready for class,"
"Ok," Jack whispered as he stared after Gladys. The clumps of students going about their business parted for her, pointing and murmuring. She flourished under she attention, smiling her huge, toothy grin and uttering polite little greetings to students.
"I think that spell did more than change her gender," Jack muttered to himself.
Harry, Hermione, Frodo and Sam made their way to the Gryffindor common room, drawing stares from passing students, as Sam kept one hand protectively resting on Frodo's belly, and Frodo kept brushing it off and glancing meaningfully at his dear Sam. His dear Sam didn't seem to get the point so Frodo finally gave up. If it made him feel comfortable to do that, Frodo could live.
"Look, I'm kind of muddy right now, so how about you guys get comfy while I take a quick shower. I'll be really quick," Harry suggested when they reached the common room.
"That's fine with us," Frodo agreed. Harry bolted up the stairs, two hobbits sat on the couch in front of the fire and Hermione took a chair next to them.
"So how did you get here anyway?" she asked.
"Well, we had made some money selling autographs, and Sam was in some movie. Even if they did keep calling him Sean Astin. Weirdos. So we had enough money that when we found out I was pregnant we could come back here. We figured Dumbledore would let us stay, at least until we find some way of supporting ourselves," Frodo smiled.
"When are you due?"
"Sometime in June,"
"That's nice,"
"Yeah. Oh, here comes Harry,"
"So, Frodo, Sam, explain please. What have you been up to in the last couple of months? Where have you been? And most importantly, HOW IS IT PHYSICALLY POSSIBLE-"
"Please don't say that so loud," Frodo interrupted. "I'd rather everyone not know. Let's start at the beginning. When we left Sam and I were swamped by insane fangirls. Luckily the police saved us about a week later. We decided not to come back for a while. We thought it would be good to see the world. Anyway, we spent some time in New York, where Sam got the movie job. That took most of the time, but Sam wasn't a very big part in it. Anyway, how it's physically possible. We're not quite sure but we think it may have something to do with this weird spell some fangirl witch cast on me when I wouldn't sleep with her,"
"WHAT?"
"Well, I got lots of offers, as did Sam, and we declined all of them. So one witch cursed me. She said I must be gay if I didn't sleep with her. Then she said some weird spell, I'm not quite sure what she did. But that's the best explanation we can come up with,"
"Ok, s'good enough for me," Harry shrugged. Hermione rolled her eyes, and the faint sound of "idiot" could be heard from under her breath.
"Now that's not very nice Hermione," the narrator chided.
"Not you again. Freak,"
"That's not very nice either. But I just popped in to congratulate Sam and Frodo. I'm very excited for you, and I think it's rude that nobody else has said congratulations yet. They've just been too wrapped up in how different it is. I know how it feels to be discriminated against because I'm different. I'm mean, how many people get excited when something good happens to a random bodiless voice. I'm so unwanted..."
We'll leave the dear narrator to bemoan her poor pathetic life by herself. After all, she's just a random bodiless voice. Who cares about her?
So whaddya think? Plot suggestions are ALWAYS welcome. And pretty please review. I luv reviewers. If nobody reviews, I don't write. It's very sad. So please review if you want to keep reading this story. Or even review if you hate it, just to let me know people have read it. I don't care what you think, just so long as you smile! JK, but that was a Miss Congeniality moment there. And it's my b-day on Monday, so be happy!
