Ok, I don't have too many people to thank. Lessee, who do I have to thank. Oh yes, my greatest reviewer of ALL TIME (for today at least) Alohi Luana, who was the only person who reviewed my last chappie, and also thanks to Chibi Atto San. She gave me the highest praise I have ever gotten! She said she wanted to stalk me. Although that kind of scares me, I guess I think it's cool. Also thanks to Jen, Orlando Bloom does suck. I'm extremely sorry for not updating for so long, but I've been a tad busy. There's probably going to be a lot of Barenaked Ladies songs in the next few chaps because I'm obsessed lately. This chapter is dedicated to Kevin Hearn for being the coolest Lady of them all, and for surviving leukemia to go on and make more beautiful and amazing music that I LOVE! Thank you Kev. So, I'll see if I can remember what's been happening, and try to get more plot development. On with the show!

Our scene opens some time after the incident described in the previous chapter. It is now mid December. Tensions between Slytherins and Gryffindors have been growing since "the incident" as we will call it. Snow is falling quietly, and "Christmastime Oh Yeah" is playing in the background. Frodo and Sam sit together in a small courtyard, I believe it's the one where Sirius flies away on Buckbeak in the third movie. They don't speak, but there is a stress in the air that makes it seem they have come here for an important discussion. Frodo breaks the silence.

"Sam, I don't know if I'm ready for this," he murmured, as though hesitant to disturb the strange tranquility lying between them.

"I know. It's a huge step. I realize that you've gotten a lot of heat over this from those damn Slytherins, but you have done amazing, and I'm so proud of you. But if we're going to be together we have to know that together we can get through anything, and we can't let a bunch of butts get us down,"

"You've been hanging around Fred and George too much,"

"I know. But that's ok. We'll be ok. Just breath Frodo." Sam paused as Frodo started panting. "I didn't mean like that Frodo, I mean relax."

"I-I can't stop Sam. Help!"

"Ohmygod! You're not…"

"I think I might be,"

"Just breath Frodo, just breath,"

"Did you hear about Frodo?" Hermione asked worriedly.

"I heard something about him going into labor, but I don't know what happened." Jack replied anxiously.

"Well I know what happened," came a snotty voice from nowhere.

"Thanks, but if we want your opinion we'll ask for it."

"Just because I'm a disembodied narrator doesn't mean you have to hate on me"

"Jack, stop it. Actually I would like to know your opinion. What happened to Frodo?"

"He had a miscarriage. Well, sort of. He went into premature labor and the baby died. It's really quite surprising that he survived. It's only because Sam knows so much about having babies that he was OK. I mean, after thirteen kids you'd expect him to be intelligent about it."

"Oh my god. We should probably go see him," Hermione and Jack ran to the hospital wing, leaving a disembodied voice and "I'll be That Girl" playing in the background.

"Stupid Barenaked Ladies. They've got a song for everything. Bet they've even got a song for stalkers," the narrator complained.

As it just so happens, BNL does have a song for stalkers. And it would fit perfectly right here. Because as it just so also happens, Frodo happened to get an entire load of fanmail at just that moment. The postpeople had been unable to find him up until then, but they had been searching very hard as they had rather a lot of mail for him. Specifically mail with chimpanzees on it. Uh oh. That's the cue for Frodo to start looking really cute and singing a really cheesy song. Stupid big blue eyes. (Hehe, do you wear wigs?) Here goes.

"You can't imagine so many monkeys in the daily mail
All of them coming anonymously so they leave no trail
I never thought I'd have an admirer from overseas
But someone is sending me stationary filled with chimpanzees.
Some chimps in swimsuits, some chimps are swinging from a vine
Some chimps in jackboots, some chimps that wish they could be mine.
Starsky and Hutch chimps, a chimp who's sitting on the can
A pair of Dutch chimps who send their love from Amsterdam.
Another postcard with chimpanzees
And every one is addressed to me.
If I had to guess, I'd say the monkey-sender thinks it's great
He's sending me, maybe she's sending me just to see me get irate
I'm losing sleep - and it's gonna be keeping me up all night
I thought it was funny, but now I've got money on a monkey fight.
Some chimps in hard hats, chimps a-working on a chain gang
Some chimps who love cats, burning rubber in a Mustang
A birthday-wishing chimp, a chimp in black like a goth
A goin' fishin' chimp, a British chimp in the bath.
Another postcard with chimpanzees
And every one is addressed to me.
Somehow they followed me even though I packed and moved my home
No matter what, they come and they come they won't leave me alone
Another monkey in the mail could make me lose my mind
But look at me shuffling through the stack until I finally find
Some chimps in swimsuits
Some chimps in Jackboots
Some chimps in hard hats
Some chimps who love cats
I've got some shaved chimps; that's chimps devoid of any hair
I've got depraved chimps dressed up in women's underwear.
Another postcard with chimpanzees
And every one is addressed to me.
Every one is every one is every one is addressed to me.
Every one is every one is every one is addressed to me.
Another postcard with chimpanzees
And every one is addressed to me.
Another postcard with chimpanzees
And every one is addressed to me.
Another postcard with chimpanzees
And every one is addressed to me.
Another postcard with chimpanzees
And every one is addressed to me."

Well that was lovely wasn't it? Hermione and Jack arrived just in time to see Frodo finishing off this beautiful rendition, promptly decided that he had been "faking it" and left. How they think he could have been faking giving birth is beyond me, I thought they were smarter than that. I think they've been hanging out with Arwen too much.

As the month of December passed, students had gotten used to SC Gladys. As many of them had only known Gandalf for a few months the transition to Gladys was merely like the changing to a new teacher. However for the Fellowship it was a little more difficult. As weeks passed Gandalf began to revert back to his original personality in small ways. He even started talking in riddles again, and everyone knew that was a step in the right direction if anything was. The students hadn't been entirely pleased with it however, as it made Gladys's classes far harder than they had been. Aragorn had managed to have a discussion with him that didn't involve clothes, boys or hair. It had always been just a tad disturbing to see Gladys giggling with one of the girls and then pointing at you. Having a teacher have a crush on you was not something one wanted. But now, for the sake of Frodo, Sam resolved to do something. His precious master had just suffered one shock too many, and if there was one thing that could bring him back from the brink of destruction it was the return of good old, mysterious, all-knowing Gandalf. We open our next scene on an empty classroom, where Gladys is preening behind her desk. A large mirror that can be folded and stowed for "easy travel use" is sitting on top of the desk, and Gladys is just putting the finishing touches on her lunch break make-up touch up.

"Excuse me professor." Sam began.

"Please Sam, we've known each other for so long, we really don't need this professor stuff. I'm Gladys."

"That's what I need to talk to you about. You're NOT Gladys. You're Gandalf. Now please, I know you can reverse this spell. You heard what happened to Frodo, he needs you. You can do him far more good as yourself than as a Barbie look-alike. So for Frodo's sake, if not for the rest of us, please just reverse the spell."

"Well as touching as that is Sam, I need me to be like this. I can't stand being Gandalf anymore. Having to come up with all those stupid riddles and look intelligent and knowing all the time. Do you have any idea how difficult that is?"

"You do realize that you've started to talk in riddles anyway?"

"I HAVE? HOLY CRAPOLY I HAVE! Wow, maybe I am better suited to being Gandalf. Well, I'll give it a go, but I can't promise anything." Gladys gave his knowing smile, snapped his fingers and suddenly was Gandalf again.

"That's it?" Sam asked.

"Yup."

"Cool."

Alright, that's all I've got in me for now, but my computer has malfunctioned and I can't get on the internet right now, so I'm sorry if this takes even longer to get updated than it would have. Thank you all for reading, listen to Canadian bands, don't do drugs and always stay away from mail involving chimpanzees. You know what to do-REVIEW! Oh yeah, and buy the Barenaked for the Holidays live tour CD from December 13. It rocks.