For warnings, notes and disclaimers see chapter 1

Chapter 5: An Elephant in the Room

It seems like Buffy is still having some serious problems with her friends. They have now moved past the open hostility I witnessed at the party but things are far from normal between them and it's tearing them all apart. Even though I didn't want to see it the fact is that for the past week they have been carefully avoiding each other. I won't deny that they have made some progress toward patching things up but a lot of tension still remains. I don't think they have talked about it, Willow and Xander mostly seem to be pretending that the fight never happened and they are apparently doing their best to ignore everything having to do with Buffy's little revelation... and Buffy herself is doing whatever she can to avoid the subject.

I understand that this has been a major shock to them and the truth is that I'm not entirely surprised to see that Buffy is having a hard time reconnecting with them but I don't see how this situation can possibly be allowed to go on for much longer without causing some sort of permanent damage. Maybe things wouldn't be this bad if her friends didn't know about last summer or even if Buffy had been able to tell them about it in a way that could actually have helped them deal with it but the way in which everything unfolded meant that there was no keeping it from them. A part of me is still angry at both Xander and Willow. They had a major role to play in everything that happened at that party and --even though they may have had some valid reasons to be angry-- they had no right to hurt Buffy like they did, to turn against her when she needed her friends the most.

The problem is that --regardless of who started it-- I know it is now time to put an end to it and I also know that that's not going to be easy.

"It's just that it's hard, you know... with how they look at me all the time. With Willow I can see her pity and it drives me nuts... that and she has about a gazillion questions she's just too afraid to ask so there's like this huge elephant in the room and it bugs the hell out of me. Xander is a different story, I mean he just doesn't seem to know what to do. Most of the time he won't even meet my eyes and a couple of times I've caught him staring at me and it's really wigging me out, not to mention that sometimes I think the male part of him just wants to... never mind."

"Wants to what?"

"Hand me a twenty?" she says with a sad smile, "it's like his afraid to be the last virgin left standing in Sunnydale High and... he's my friend and I really love him but as I said, there's that male part of him that can sometimes be a pain, you know? The one track mind part of it. I know he doesn't mean it and he probably can't help it but it's still there... and before you kill him, I didn't mean the handing me a twenty part as in really handing me a twenty, he wouldn't do that. As I said, I guess the problem is that sometimes he tends to act kind of male but it's not really his fault."

"You do realize I'm male myself, don't you?" I point out, even though I'm not angry. I understand where she's coming from and I realize that she does have a point... it's not like I haven't caught that look in Xander's eyes over the past few days, it's just that I never expected her to have recognized it for what it was. The old Buffy wouldn't have and the fact that she does is a sad reminder of just how much things have changed.

"Yes, I know, you are male but you are not creepy male so that's fine. The thing is that they are not comfortable around me and the truth is I'm not all that comfortable around them either right now but I don't want to lose them and I really don't know what to do about it so I kind of figured that maybe if I stay away eventually we'll all get over feeling weird around each other."

"Don't you think that maybe you should all try to talk things out?"

"Yeah, right, I can just see Willow's reaction if I were to try and talk to her about most of this crap. We could always talk to each other before, Giles, and we can't do that any more. She wouldn't understand. She'd want me to go back to being the old Buffy and I'm just so tired of having to pretend to be her all the time. I mean, when she tries to talk to me about her magic I can try and listen, maybe even give her some advice, but as soon as she mentions Oz I panic and I hate that. I don't know what to tell her!"

"So you are just waiting for them to grow up a little, is that what you are saying?"

"Kind of, maybe... all I know is that I can't be around them right now. Not as much as I used to anyway so that's kind of why I've been avoidance Buffy lately."

"You do realize that sooner or later you are all going to have to talk about this, don't you?"

"I can do later."

"Buffy..." I say warningly.

"It's okay, Giles... or at least I hope it will be. They are still my friends and I will fight to keep them, I'm not giving up on them, but until they can deal a little better I kind of have the feeling that hanging out with them too much wouldn't be of the good. Besides they are both doing the couply thing with Oz and Cordelia and being a fifth wheel is so not my thing... maybe I could give them a couple of pointers... put what I learned over the summer to good use. You think either Oz or Xander would be interested in a threesome? Though come to think about it I really don't see Willow going for it and Cordelia... well that's so not where my mind wants to be."

"Buffy!" I yell, totally horrified.

"I'm kidding, relax! I wouldn't do anything like that! They are my friends for crying out loud!"

"I know, it's just that hearing you say those things, talking about the summer as if it were a laughing matter... I hate it. I hate that I couldn't keep you safe."

"Sorry, I just didn't think," she says chewing on her lower lip and I can almost see her retreating into herself. I know that's not good and a part of me immediately regrets my outburst. I know her past is part of her and she needs to come to terms with it but to hear her joking about it like that is more than I can take.

"It's okay, but the point is that you can't keep hiding from your friends forever," I say, trying to get this conversation back on track, "Willow said something about going to the Bronze tonight, why don't you join them?"

"The Bronze?"

"Yes."

"I'll think about it but maybe I should go slaying, you know? Take down a few vamps, make the streets safer for those hard working citizens of Sunnydale? Do the whole sacred duty thing and so on? After all, that's what I'm getting paid for... or rather not getting paid for."

I shake my head. I'm all too aware that ever since she came back Buffy's been hiding behind her calling, taking out her pent up emotions on our town's resident unlife and the results show in the fact that the hellmouth has never been safer. It's gotten to the point where I'm actually starting to pity the vampires she encounters. It's almost like she was when her mom was dating that robot... she was beating them to a pulp before staking them back then too.

"I think you can afford to take a night off," I say before I realize just how bizarre this whole scenario really is... it's not so much that it's different from the one we've had countless times before, it's just that I'm usually on the other side of the argument, "after all, as you said, it's not like you are getting paid."

"But what if they want some alone time?"

"Alone time at the Bronze?" I point out.

"Okay, so maybe not so much with the alone time but..."

"It's going to be fine and it's not like you are bound to have an actual conversation with all that infernal noise anyway. Just promise me that you'll think about it."

"You really want me to go, don't you?"

"Yes, I do. You need to start spending time with them again. I understand you are having some problems right now but those won't go away just because you are avoiding each other."

"Maybe the Bronze won't be so bad... how long do I have to stay there?"

"This is not an assignment, Buffy."

"Kind of feels like it," she grumbles under her breath.

"Just try to go there, see how you feel and if you are uncomfortable you can either go slaying or you can come home. Who knows? If you give them a chance maybe they'll surprise you."

"Okay, I guess I can try but..."

"No buts. It's going to be fine."

"You sure?" she says teasingly, but I can see she is only half joking. A part of her is really worried about this.

I wish I could say 'yes', I wish I could promise her that everything is indeed going to be fine and her friends will be able to cope with the fallout but I can't.