Sickness of Loss

That night, the moment Harry was extremely excited for and at the same time dreaded, came. Harry found Ginny sitting in the library with a notebook, a quill, and a book studying what appeared to Harry as Herbology. He approached her in a slow and cautious manner and hoped that she'd be willing to stop her studying to talk to him for a moment. When Harry finally was only a step away from sitting down next to her, (the point of no return) Harry began to think of all the terrible things that could happen and felt himself getting very nervous.

"Oh hi Harry!" Ginny said, putting down a quill and gesturing for Harry to sit next to her. Harry moved closer and sat down.

"Hey, Ginny." Harry turned to Ginny and smiled. "What's that you've got there, Ginny?" Ginny turned to look at her book as though she'd forgotten.

"Oh, it's herbology. Madame Sprout is having us find every sort of magical bean and how it's powerful. Don't ask..."

"Oh, I- I see," Harry felt himself getting more and more nervous and he began wringing out his hands and playing with his hair. Ginny kept watching him, obviously still very happy about his coming to talk to her, although Harry couldn't understand why. He was being a complete idiot...

"Erm, Ginny," Harry started meeting her eyes for a moment but then turned to focus on her shoulder. "I was wondering if..." Harry paused for a long moment and Ginny just watched him. Come on you can do this. "...if you maybe wanted to... go to Hogsmeade with me." Ginny, almost instantly after Harry finished cried,

"Yes! Of course that would be fantastic," Ginny said smiling wider then Harry had ever seen and nearly bouncing in her seat. Harry grinned back. "Great," Ginny said picking up her book and quill and beaming at him. Before Harry could say anything, Ginny had darted out of the room leaving Harry in the dark and empty library to ponder what just happened. Harry, realizing how late it was, walked out of the library with more energy then he'd had the whole day. Harry had a date for Hogsmeade, he'd saved his least favorite teacher's life, things were going great.

That night, when Harry reached the commonroom he found no one except some seventh year girl sitting at a table doing some homework. Harry walked up to his bedroom only to find Ron sitting up in bed reading a book by candlelight.

"My eyes must be fooling me!" Harry said. "Do I actually see Ron reading a book?" Harry said jokingly. Ron laughed and through a pillow at Harry.

"Yeah I was just looking up some stuff on the Wizarding laws. Did you know that it's against the law to sleep with your head on a wizards chess table on Saturdays?" Harry watched him and knew that there was more to this.

"What were you really looking up Wizarding laws for, Ron?" Harry asked. Ron lowered his eyebrows at Harry.

"No reason, really," Harry stared at him for a moment and Ron spoke. "Okay fine, I was seeing what your typical penalty is for disturbing the dead like Malfoy did to Sirius because I think that three months in Azkaban isn't enough. Especially when they escape right away." Ron watched Harry's response to this comment.

Sirius, Harry thought. Whenever someone said that name Harry couldn't stop thinking about him for quite a long time. Harry sat on his bed quickly to prevent from losing balance since when Harry thought about Sirius that's all his mind could focus on. I'll never speak to him again will I? I'm never going to see him again. He's gone forever isn't he? And nobody misses him except me. Only me. I'm the only one who notices Sirius is gone. I need Sirius.

"Harry are you okay? I'm sorry I mentioned Sirius, I know it's not easy for you to hear and... Harry?" Harry was staring blankly across the room at the candle next to Ron's bed and wasn't blinking. Harry didn't hear Ron and he didn't want to hear Ron. He wanted to hear Sirius. He wanted to talk to Sirius about school, and Malfoy, and Ginny, and... Harry opened the drawer on his nightstand and pulled out Sirius's mirror. Harry saw something inside it. A figure; a person; it suddenly became clearer, he had dark hair, he was a man, He looked at Harry.

"Sirius," Harry breathed. Suddenly the figure faded away. "SIRIUS!!!!" Harry yelled so loud that Seamus, Dean, and Neville all stired awake just in time to see Harry before...

"Harry! What are you..." Harry collapsed sideways on his bed Ron's voice was a blur and Harry couldn't see anything except darkness.

There were sounds. Harry could hear people murmuring around him. He heard Ron for a brief moment but then it went away. Professor McGonagall, yes she was there. What's happened to me? Harry thought. He shook his head back and forth. Suddenly his eyes blew open. He was in the hospital wing and Harry was startled at the odd assortment of people who bustled around him talking: He saw Ron and Hermione, Ginny and Luna, and Dumbledore. Harry tried sitting up but it seemed as though at that moment everyone seemed to notice him and push him down at once.

"Harry, oh he's awake. Are you all right?" Said Hermione leaning over him and studying his face. Harry didn't speak but instead nodded. He'd just remembered what happened but... why did it happen?

"Harry, you gave us all such a fright, what do you feel like?" Ginny cried in his ear.

"What happened last night, mate? None of us could concentrate on school today not knowing." Ron said. Harry looked over at Luna whose head popped out behind the crowd. She stared at him head tilting a little as though she knew exactly what had happened and understood completely. At that moment Madame Pomfrey strode into the room.

"Everyone out! OUT! OUT! You are disturbing my patients with all this commotion. OUT! OUT! Harry's friends all left along with Professor McGonagall, all looking back at him in concern. Dumbledore strode over to Harry.

"Harry, Madame Pompfrey has figured out what it is that has disrupted you," Dumbledore stared at Harry, quite concerned and sad. Harry watched him. Why was this so serious? All he did was pass out from hitting his head when he fell. Right? "However, I am afraid that there is no actual cure except what you can fight within yourself."

"What is it, sir?" Harry asked softly and sleepily.

"Harry you have the Sickness of Loss. Some people get it after they've witnessed a death of a loved one. It's very sad. A few have even died from it, Harry, I must tell you because they've found that they can't overcome a broken heart. But Harry, you've always been brave and I have no doubt that you can't do this." Harry stared at Dumbledore. Was Harry going to die because Sirius died? Harry didn't know what to think. This couldn't actually be the truth, could it?

"I should go," Harry said. He stood up and left the hospital wing. His head was heavy and his heart was aching like it had never ached before. Harry felt worse then he'd ever felt. What was this disease? It wasn't right... Part of Harry wanted to go find his friends but he decided to just go up to bed. He had seen Sirius in the mirror. Hadn't he?