For notes, warnings and disclaimers see chapter 1

Chapter 8: A Mother's Eyes
(Joyce's POV)

Needless to say I was surprised when Buffy showed up for dinner with a new slayer in tow. Truth be told I was also incredibly relieved, seeing how Rupert had been unable to tell me whether or not after Kendra's death Buffy had gone back to being the slayer in stead of a slayer. The fact that Faith is here means that Buffy will no longer have to go out alone at night. It means she will now have someone there with her watching her back who can actually help her. I know Rupert tries his best and I know he has the necessary knowledge about vampires and demons, but he doesn't necessarily have the strength and that leaves Buffy having to watch both their backs up to a point. I know he would die for her but I'd rather have them both alive. After he told me what had happened with the Master I asked him how long does a slayer usually live... and right now I'll take anything that can possibly give Buffy a better chance at beating those odds.

Rupert and I have been talking quite a lot ever since Buffy came back, trying to present something resembling a unified front when dealing with her and I am incredibly grateful for everything he's been doing these past few days. Not just for taking her in to give us some time to get reacquainted with each other but also because of the amount of time he spends helping her get back in the rhythm of her own life beyond the daily slaying... like the hours he spends every day helping her with her schoolwork. That was far from one of our top priorities when she first came home but with her being on academic probation it soon became apparent that we were dealing with a major problem in that area. Not only had Buffy missed the last couple of weeks of class last year and most of her tests but she was also having a very hard time when it came to focusing on her studies. Over the past few months studying had become an alien concept for her and Rupert has set out to work on changing that. As the school librarian he has access to all the materials she could possibly need and he is personally acquainted with all of her teachers... and in addition to that there's the fact that his work schedule matches her school hours perfectly. That has made it possible for him to devote at least a couple of hours each day to tutoring her. It would have been absolutely impossible for me to do for her what he is doing in that regard.

The fact remains that these past ten days have been incredibly trying. Rupert has been acting as a sort of buffer, mediating between us, helping me come to terms with all of these things I was totally unprepared to deal with, from my daughter's secret life as the slayer to what happened when she ran away. It's been good having another adult I can talk to... and I think maybe it's been a relief for him too. Up until now he had shared his secret with a group of children and while they are great kids, if what I've seen these past few days is any indication, I suspect he has spent a lot of his energy trying to keep some of the weight off their shoulders. Well, maybe that's not entirely true, up until recently he had that teacher too --the one Angelus killed-- but from what I've heard she couldn't always be trusted.

I know I shouldn't think ill of the dead and I know that woman paid for her mistakes with her life but I can't help but blame her for everything Buffy's been through over the past few months. If it weren't for her betrayal most of what has happened since Buffy's last birthday could have been prevented. It's hard to believe that it's been just under seven months since this whole nightmare began.

The thing is that in these past three months, and especially in these past few days, my life has been completely transformed and now I find myself feeding two slayers instead of one and wondering whether or not this second girl --a girl I certainly wouldn't have approved of only a couple of weeks ago-- can possibly hold the key to my daughter's survival. Am I an awful person for hoping that she will be the next slayer to fall? I don't want her to die, I really don't, I just want my daughter to live.

I try not to stare at Faith as she slays her food at an alarming rate. This girl could probably give Xander a run for his money in the bottomless pit competition. I am also shocked by the fact that Buffy is actually getting along with her. I wouldn't have expected her to, Faith is so different from Buffy. She doesn't come across as someone my daughter would be comfortable making friends with. Buffy is a lovely girl --if I may say so myself-- but she is an only child thru and thru and something about this whole scenario seems off somehow, she just seems too welcoming and I don't understand it. I know their sudden friendship could just be a slayer thing but I doubt it... or maybe I just hope it's not. I may be trying to come to terms with the fact that my daughter is the slayer but I don't want the slayer aspect of her life to take over, not at home. I want this house to remain the one place where she can be just Buffy.

So what am I to do now? What do I make out of Faith? She is extremely blunt, there's no question about that, and for a moment I wonder how is Rupert's extreme Britishness going to cope with her. It seems apparent that this girl is about to become a major player in our lives so the logical thing would be to try and get to know her but for all her apparent candor she is extremely difficult to read... and she's not saying much as she basically inhales her dinner. I guess her appetite could have something to do with her slayer metabolism, after all --taking into account some of the things I've learned about slayers recently-- that would be only natural. I know Buffy doesn't usually eat like that but I have noticed over the past couple of years that she has a tendency to raid the fridge when I'm not looking. I know just how often leftovers vanish in the middle of the night around here, so maybe Buffy was just trying to cover the fact that she was going to bed hungry in an attempt to keep me from noticing the changes in her, maybe the way in which Faith is attacking her food is really the norm for a slayer. Was I really that blind to what was happening with my own daughter? Was I in such denial that I could have been allowing her to go hungry in her own home for years?

That's something I haven't really wanted to think about but I guess sooner or later I'm going to have to because she was right that night... before she left. I never wanted to see her thorn and bloodied clothes for what they were, I wanted to believe she was getting into fights because it was easier and the one time she tried to come to me, to us, what did we do? We betrayed her trust by placing her in a mental institution because we couldn't deal with what she was saying. I could try to excuse myself saying that it was more Hank's doing than my own, that we were doing what we thought was best for her, but the fact remains that all the good intentions we may have had won't ever change what we did to her back then... and when the truth slapped me in the face I blamed her for not trusting me, for keeping secrets when I was the one who had first refused to listen. I told her she needed help when she already knew what kind of help I had to offer and so she did the only thing she could do... she ran.

What would I have done if she had come home? I don't know, I'll never know, unfortunately life doesn't come with a rewind button. The damage has been done and there's nothing I can do about it but there's one thing I know for sure: things are about to change around here.