For notes, warnings and disclaimers see chapter 1.
Chapter 15: A Box of Chocolates
(Faith's POV)
I'm holding Snyder's latest hoop in my hand and man am I pissed! What am I supposed to do with forty of these damn things? Sure, I mean, the little troll has everyone trying to figure out who they can dump their chocolates on --it's not just me-- but I really don't have the time for this shit... or the parents for that matter.
I'm pretty sure B will talk either G-man or Mrs. S into buying hers but I'm stuck. I think if I want to get rid of mine I'm going to have to pull a girl-scout here... and not in the kinky sense either. I mean, I've lost track of just how many times I've played the naughty girl-scout in some guy's fantasy, but actually selling cookies as in for real? That's going to be a new one. Well, it's not like I can avoid it... as it is the troll already hates me almost as much as he hates B so I'm just going to have to grin and take it.
The truth is that I hate this whole not having any money of my own crap... if I did I could just buy the damn things for myself --even if they are so overpriced it's not even funny-- keep them around for whenever I want a midnight snack and be done with it but I'm broke. Sure, Mrs. S is cool, I'm more comfy than I've ever been before, I have a roof over my head, a bed to sleep in and three squares a day --and all that's of the good-- but money-wise things just ain't working for me right now and I can't really risk what I've got by trying to make some extra on the side. Somehow I don't think Mrs. S or the G-man would approve. The thing is I'm not used to being this damn dependent. I'm used to being on my own and I'm finding out that this whole dependency deal is the one thing I really, really don't like of this whole arrangement... I guess in the grand scheme of things it doesn't matter much but still, sometimes it kind of bugs me.
Of course, even though the whole being dependent thing sucks, having someone there who actually notices whether or not I'm in one piece at the end of the day is a nice change of pace... like when Mrs. S patched me up a couple of nights ago after a vamp got a lucky shot. It was nothing really, just a scratch, but she was fussing over me like she actually cared, like it mattered! That was way weird, I mean, I remember getting far worse than that from some of my mom's boyfriends when I was like five and no one ever gave a damn... besides at least with the vamp I got the satisfaction of seeing him turn to dust in the end.
The thing is that my whole life just feels beyond weird right now... like it's someone else's, like I'm going to wake up any moment now and it'll all be gone... or maybe they'll wake up and realize that it was all a huge mistake, that I don't really belong here --which I know I don't-- and they are going to kick me to the curb. Sure, I'm handy with the slaying and I know Mrs. S just keeps me around because I can help keep B safe, but she's a smart lady so I guess it's only a matter of time before she figures out that she doesn't really have to put up with me nearly as much as she does for me to do that. The slaying is in my blood and I can't turn my back on it any more than B can, whether I like it or not... besides I actually like B, so it's not like I want to bail on her.
I mean, sure, she's still a bit naive --I think when she was on her own she was probably more of a lost puppy than a street rat-- but she cares. I met a few people like her, the ones who did their best to make sure everyone was as safe as could be instead of trying to screw everyone over... they were nice but they never lasted long. They may have been on the streets but they didn't belong there and they had a disturbing tendency to wind up kind of dead.
The thing is that for me the streets were way better than home, but even back when I first ran away I knew what I was getting into, I knew I had to keep moving if I didn't want to wind up either dead or in someone's stable... B's first idea was to try and get an honest job, for crying out loud! She had no idea of what she was getting herself into and she only made it because she's a slayer. I know she hasn't told either her mom or Giles about it, but when I asked about it she admitted that more than once she had to take down some goons sent by one local pimp or another who wasn't happy to have her encroaching on his turf and his profits, a pimp who was determined to either recruit her or get her out of the way... well, at least she was smart enough not to fall for their promises.
I guess that's where we are different. Even now B is still moping over her 'one true love who went psycho'... me, I can't even remember my first time. She was seventeen when she slept with Angel... by the time I was seven my mom was working the night shift --waiting tables at one skin joint or another-- and we were living with Jerry. I guess memory is kind of a funny thing because Jerry is the first one on a long list of jerks I can clearly remember --though I'm pretty sure he wasn't really the first jerk on that list-- and I remember him mostly 'cause he had this thing about my nightgowns.
Jerry was kind of a bum so --since my mom was working the night shift to keep his beer supply flowing-- he used to tuck me in. Anyway, what I remember the most about him is how he used to make me wear these ridiculous long, flannel nightgowns to bed that felt about two sizes too big to begin with. I remember how they had these really silly, girlie prints of teddy bears, rainbows, kittens, hearts, whatever on them... and I remember how even back then I knew better than to try and wear my panties with them.
Well, I guess it could have been worse. I mean, sure my family life wasn't fairy tale perfect but at least I got to have a life so maybe I shouldn't bitch about it. The truth is that if I'd been in my mom's place I wouldn't even be here and I kind of like being alive so...
I also like being a slayer. B fought her calling long and hard from what I've heard, though I think by now she's come to terms with it... of course for her being a slayer really messed her nice, comfy life, for me things were different. For the first time in my life I actually mattered, I had the power. Even now having vamps and demons fear me is the ultimate rush... for the first time ever I am in control and I love it. I wasn't so sure about the whole having a watcher thingy though.
I mean, my first watcher was nice enough, I guess. She was the first person who sort of cared about me in a very long time and I really hated seeing what Kakistos did to her --I still don't like thinking about it much-- but she had this whole holier-than-thou thing going that drove me nuts sometimes. She was good to me but she also had all these ideas as to who I was supposed to be and she wasn't willing to let such a trivial thing like the facts get in her way. I mean, she was my watcher for almost two full months and she never even knew what I did for a living... I think she didn't want to see because it so didn't mesh with her ideal little world. I mean, she wasn't stupid --she could certainly handle herself when it came to doing research-- and it must have been pretty damn obvious at times... after all the only reason I wasn't considered as a high school drop-out was simply 'cause I dropped out before I even made it to high school so it wasn't like I had a long list of marketable skills to fall back on but she never thought about it, she never tried to find out. G-man may dress like the King of Tweed but I know that when it comes down to it he understands a lot more than he lets on.
The thing is that being a slayer is the best thing that's ever happened to me. Sure, there are a ton of things I've had to get used to since I came to SunnyD and a million stupid rules I'm expected to follow, but over all I guess it's been of the good. For the first time since I can remember I can go to sleep without having to worry about some guy crawling into my bed whether I want him there or not and I'm finding out I kind of like it... of course, I know Mrs. S would freak out if I took a guy I actually wanted there to my bed and that part of it really sucks but I can deal... I think... maybe...
I mean, I know Mrs. S doesn't really keep me around because I'm a perfect example of a proper young lady and everything a mother would want in a daughter or even in a daughter's friend... in fact I know I'm anything but. She keeps me around simply because I can help B, because me being here means her daughter may have a shot at living just a little bit longer and I understand. B is her daughter, I'm not... just like B is Giles's slayer and I'm not. I'm just the charity case, which brings me back to my current problem of how to deal with Snyder's latest hoop and the unsolved mystery of what the heck am I supposed to do to get rid of forty badly overpriced candy bars... couldn't I just dust forty vampires instead?
