Breaking Point
Michelle struggles to deal with the results of Day 3, from her POV. My attempt at explaining how she and Tony got to where they are at the start of Day 4. I'd love to hear what you think.
Tony, Michelle, Jack and the whole 24 World don't belong to me, unfortunately. Thank you to the real writers of 24, though, for letting me pretend.
Note: I wanted to add something to Chapter 5, so I've moved things around some. Please re-read chapter 5 if you read the original version. I've wanted to write more the last few days, but I've been sick. This will be my last chance to write for a little while, but I'll be back in a week or so. Thanks again for all the reviews! I know my chapters are short, but that is about how much I write in a night, so I figured I might as well post it like that. If I ever write a book, I promise to make longer chapters :O)
Seattle? Why Seattle? Michelle walked out of CTU into the parking lot, her heels clicking on the pavement. She opened her purse angrily and pulled the keys into her right hand. Her fingers closed hard against the cold metal, cutting into her hand, but she didn't feel it. It was all she could do to keep from throwing her keys against her car as she approached. Rain was falling softly on her head, as though even the weather was taunting her- Seattle! Seattle! She fumbled to put her key into the lock and her keys fell to the ground. She reached down to pick them up and, as she put her hand on the door, realized she had lost the strength to stand. A sound escaped her lips, half sob, half wail, and tears flowed from her eyes to join the rain dripping down her cheeks.
Michelle had always prided herself on being able to control her emotions when things got tough. She refused to let her own feelings get in the way of her job, and she never let anyone see when they had hurt her. Until today. Today she cried uncontrollably, unable to stand. Today there was Seattle, and Seattle suddenly seemed very, very far away.
Tony had been sentenced two weeks earlier, and sent to U. S. Penitentiary Atwater, 130 miles from San Francisco. Michelle was determined to keep faith for both of them, and refused to give up on the idea that Tony was her husband. And she couldn't shake the idea that, if she had just left that hotel door closed, none of this would have happened. If she had only died in that hotel instead… But the past couldn't be undone, and she was not going to give up.
The choice had been obvious. She couldn't bring herself to stay at CTU Los Angeles, not after what they had done to Tony, but she had obligated service remaining, and was not allowed to simply quit. The government had spent a great deal of money to train her, and she wasn't allowed to walk away for another 6 years. Instead, Michelle had put in for a transfer to CTU San Francisco. She wouldn't let herself dwell on the idea of never seeing her husband again except through a glass window, so instead she dwelt on the idea of San Francisco, and let herself pretend that a place could represent some shred of hope in this situation.
Michelle decided to put in for a transfer the day after Tony's sentencing, the phrase "life in prison without parole" still ringing in her ears, the finality of the gavel startling her awake whenever she came close to dozing off. She submitted the transfer paperwork and went back to her job. Everyone told her to take some time off, but she only took on extra shifts. They tried to get her to talk to someone, but she refused even to discuss it. They all thought she was being brave, but Michelle knew the truth. She was hiding. Hiding from the empty house she had once shared, and the empty bed. Hiding from the loss of dreams that had once seemed a certainty. Hiding from the knowledge that she had lost everything, except for her determination to dedicate herself completely to the support of the man who had risked, and lost, everything for her. Because it was her fault. But, as Michelle crouched against her car door in the rain, the flood of grief she thought she could outrun finally swept her out to sea. And there was no one to save her. All because she had opened the door to a hotel that she should have left closed.
Somehow Michelle had found her way back into her car. Somehow she had driven home. Somehow she found herself sitting, still wet, at the foot of her unmade bed, the total silence of the room buzzing in her ears. Michelle was out of ideas. She had pinned all her hopes on the idea of at least being close to Tony in San Francisco, but all of that had been crushed when Hammonds told her she would be sent to Seattle, instead. He had told her that he was sorry, that there were just no openings in San Francisco for someone of her pay grade. Michelle had only been able to stare at him, her throat tightening as she fought to hold back tears. "I'll take a position at any level," she had offered futilely, but even she knew there was no chance of that happening. "I'm sorry, Michelle," he had said, and with a simple phrase crushed what was left of hope.
So it was to be CTU Seattle. Assistant Special Agent in Charge didn't have the ring to it that it would have a few months earlier. It was a joke, a punishment, but it was her duty. She had said nothing, offered no further complaints, showed no emotion. But she couldn't stay there. It was only 9 AM, but Michelle walked down the stairs from what had once been Tony's office, picked up her purse, and walked out of CTU. Now, as she sat at the end of the bed, she stared at the wall, not moving at all except to blink. She focused on the wall so completely that it slowly filled her thoughts, until all that was left was the whiteness of the paint and the silence in her ears.
