For notes, warnings and disclaimers see chapter 1

Chapter 24: An Indecent Proposal
(Giles's POV)

I'm trying to figure out what just happened here... something that would probably be a whole lot easier if it actually made some sort of sense. As far as I can tell my slayer just gave me her blessing to court her mother and the problem is that I really don't have a clue of what to do about it. In fact, come to think of it, it wasn't so much like she was giving me permission, it sounded more like an order and I certainly wasn't expecting anything like that. I know how protective she can be of Joyce and how she feels about most potential suitors so to say that her attitude caught me off guard would be an understatement.

The past couple of days have been very disturbing and the truth is that while the whole incident with the candy was deeply embarrassing --there's no denying that-- it was also oddly freeing in a really twisted kind of way. For once Joyce and I weren't a watcher and the mother of his charge, we were just us and the fact is that I found myself enjoying her company... beyond the obvious reasons. I can't deny that over the past couple of months we've grown very close as we've tried our best to deal with both Faith and Buffy's issues. It hasn't been easy but seeing how well the two of them seem to be coping I have to say that it's definitely been worth it. Sure there are areas in which they are both still more than a little shaky and there are things Buffy still refuses to talk about --and areas we haven't even begun to try and bridge with Faith-- but over all they are both doing much better than I would have dared to hope only a month ago. Now the problem is that the focus has suddenly shifted from our relationship with the two of them, to my relationship with Joyce and that's something I'm not entirely sure how I feel about.

The thing is that I do like being with her but I'm still not sure whether or not taking things to the next level would be a good idea. I'm still not sure if even trying would be worth the risk to both Buffy and Faith's progress. For better or for worse they are relying on both of us and in order to be able to help them, Joyce and I will have to continue to work together, there's no way around that. That means that if Joyce and I were to try and pursue a romantic relationship and it were to fail, the whole thing could easily backfire. A failed relationship between us would put both Faith and Buffy at risk...is that a chance we can really afford to take right now? It is a difficult decision, and now that Buffy and Faith have decided that they want us to give it a shot the danger has suddenly become all too real.

That's another thing I'm still not sure how I feel about... the girls meddling with my love life (or lack thereof). I feel incredibly flattered on the one hand because of what it means to have Buffy trust me enough to ask me to date her mother but on the other I want to keep control over some small aspect of my life and in that regard I can't help but resent the intrusion. There's so much at stake and I don't know what to do.

Maybe I should try to set my emotions aside for a moment and try to approach this situation from a more rational perspective. I do like Joyce --there's no question about that-- and I think I could grow to love her, given enough time... the only problem is that time is the one thing I know we don't have. In that regard a relationship with Joyce could solve a lot of potential problems, but they are mostly problems she is unaware of and they center mostly around something I'm not allowed to share with her. I'm not willing to lie to her, if we are going to do this I'm going to have to be as honest with her as I can without betraying the secrets I've been sworn to keep but the problem is that if this is going to help then dating her just won't do.

A relationship with Joyce could be a perfect solution, but for that solution to be effective it would have to take the form of a marriage and it would have to be --at least at first-- a marriage of convenience. I'm not sure whether or not she would agree but with Buffy's eighteenth birthday just a few months away, I am all too aware of the fact that I'm fast running out of both time and options.

The thing is that, even though I've never allowed myself to see it as a real possibility before today, marrying Joyce would allow me to protect Buffy and Faith no matter what happens with the test. Yes, I am confident that Buffy would be able to make it through her Cruciamentum in one piece with or without my help but I'm still not willing to bet her life on it, the Council be damned. I may not be able to prevent the test entirely but I am almost certain that I will have a shot at bending the rules without breaking any watcher oaths (something I'm still leaving as a last resort, should all else fail).

The problem is that I'm not sure how they are going to react to what I'm going to do, there's just no precedent, which is precisely what I'm counting on. I can make sure that Buffy survives, that's not the issue, but interfering with the test may very well leave me in an extremely vulnerable position, it may cause the Council to try to take me out of my slayers' lives and that's something I'm not willing to risk... unfortunately that is not my only concern. My other concern has to do with Faith and the fact that if push comes to shove she could easily find herself at the center of a legal battle I'd be bound to lose.

I am not blind, I know there are so many things the Council could try to do to make me toe the line, but I am also aware that there are a few measures I could take to protect myself and my girls... and I intend to take advantage of each and every one of them.

The thing is that if I were to marry Joyce the Council would no longer be able to hold my immigrant status against me, it would also mean that they would be unable to force me to leave Sunnydale and since the hellmouth is not going anywhere and the slayers are basically bound to it, I would be free to remain a part of their lives with or without their support. In addition to that there's also the fact that after the Cruciamentum Buffy will legally be considered an adult and, between modern laws the Council is not particularly fond of, and the fact that so many people here know that Buffy is the slayer, that would basically be enough to keep her safe. The beauty of it is that the Council would be unable to act against her without attracting undue attention to itself.

In fact I suspect that that's one of the main reasons why the Council insists on taking all potential slayers away from their families, on keeping them from having anything remotely resembling a normal life even though they know that the odds are stacked heavily against the possibility that any one of them will actually be called someday. Isolation makes them easier to control. That is one of the things I've realized lately as I've been doing an unusual amount of research in the psychology section of the library. The texts I have available to me here may be aimed at a high school or maybe a college audience, but hidden in them there's still some enlightening information if you know where to look... and I have to say that just looking has revealed some rather interesting tidbits.

Whether I like it or not, I can't deny that the pattern the Council follows with even potential slayers is remarkably similar to the one every single book describes as a textbook example of an abusive relationship in which one of the earliest warning signs is often the fact that the victim is systematically isolated. It's standard procedure for abusers to force their victims to sever all ties to their friends and families in an attempt to deny them any possible external help... and that's a pattern that is chillingly familiar.

The thing is that right now it is also a pattern that has been broken with the emergence of not one but two slayers that were never even identified prior to their calling and I'm determined to do my best to keep the Council from trying to reassert its control... and the one who would remain in danger after Buffy's Cruciamentum, especially if I were to marry Joyce, would be Faith. Even after my meeting with her mother, the fact remains that she is a minor in what could easily be deemed 'exceptional circumstances'... and with its contacts the Council could easily gain permanent custody of her.

The problem is that I'm all but certain that Faith would not survive if she were to be assigned to a more traditional watcher and in fact I'm fairly certain that the Council would not be too troubled by the thought of getting rid of a girl they almost certainly consider to be a loose cannon... and that brings me back to Buffy's suggestion.

The only thing we can hope to do to protect Faith in the long run is to adopt her, legally and making sure that every 't' is crossed and every 'i' is dotted... and once again that brings me to a situation in which Joyce and I would have to get married in order to pull it off. I know that talking Cristina into agreeing to allow the adoption to go forward is unlikely to be much of a problem. She was so eager to get rid of her daughter the last time I saw her that I'm reasonably confident that she would jump at a chance to have us take her off her hands on a permanent basis, severing all of her legal responsibilities toward her. Sure, she may try to get something out of the deal but I'm fairly certain that in the end she would agree. Having the adoption process finalized by Buffy's eighteenth birthday will almost certainly take some work, but I'm fairly confident that it is doable... though just barely.

As I think about that I realize that somewhere along the line I've made up my mind, only I'm not sure how Joyce is going to take it. I am hoping she will agree. There's too much at stake and even if I'm not all that certain of what she feels toward me, I do know she'd do anything to protect Buffy and Faith. I am all too aware of the fact that she wasn't all that convinced that taking Faith in was a good idea at the beginning, but I know that as she's gotten to know her better --as she's begun to understand where the girl is coming from-- Joyce has developed a soft spot for Faith... we both have... and who knows? Maybe in time things with us will develop to the point where we'll both be able to laugh at the way in which we first got together, but that's in the future. Right now we have more immediate concerns... like keeping both our girls alive and safe.