We got home and I went straight to the bathroom to clean the blood off my face and check the damage. "Oh man Soda, look." Sodapop was right by my side and he winced when he saw my bruised right check and the start of a black swollen eye. "What is Darry going to say?" I asked as I touched my tender cheek.
Two-Bit and Steve had been standing in the doorway. Two-Bit spoke up. "Scout I'll get you some ice for that," and he left for the kitchen.
Steve leaned against the wall with his thumbs hooked into his belt loops and spoke up with his drawl. "Sissy didthose socschase you from the bus stop?"
I snapped a glare back at Steve and noticed Soda step back and place his hands on his hips ready to hear the story. "NO! I had to walk home because I didn't think you guys were coming. I was standing there at the bus stop for forever."
Soda's drawl matched Steve's. "What are you talking about? We left the house just a few minutes after nine o'clock."
I looked back at Soda's eyes, they were sincere and Steve was shaking his head in agreement.
Two-Bit arrived back in the doorway with ice in a wet towel. Before I put it on my cheek I asked him to check the time. He looked at me funny then looked at the clock. "It's nine twenty five, why?"
I stepped back and sat on the edge of the tub. I placed the cold ice pack on my swollen face and tried to figure out the timeline. There was no way it could be nine twenty five if I had waited at the bus stop for nearly fifteen minutes. Then I remembered a quirk that some people had about setting their watch ahead so they would never be late. "I bet the guy at the library had his watch set ahead when he told me the time." I thought some more. "That would explain why the bus came so quick. It wasn't the eight fifteen bus, it was the seven forty five bus." I pulled the cold bundle of ice away from my cheek and muttered to my brother. "I messed up. What an I gonna tell Darry?"
Soda casually blew off my worry. "Don't sweat it Scout. Darry aint gonna kill ya or nothing. He'll understand it was just a mistake." Soda was right, Darry would understand, if it was Soda who got jumped, but not me. He was hypersensitive about my protection and he would not be pleased that I messed up the plan that we had made.
"Soda! He's not gonna let me go anywhere again until I'm eighteen! Look at my face!" I yelled and made the bones in my face hurt even more.
Soda knew I had a good point. Which meant my second oldest brother was going to come up with a plan as he jogged out of the bathroom and returned a minute later with one of his work hats from the DX. "Here put this on." Soda lowered the cap onto my head and pulled the bill close to my eyes. "There just wear this around the house for a few days and Darry will never see your black eye. Just keep your head down low."
Steve said what I was thinking. "Soda you're an idiot. Darry will never fall for that!"
"Sure he will." Soda argued. "Sissy is always wearing me and Pony's clothes he aint gonna think nothing if she wears my hat."
Before we could finish arguing the merits of the plan the front screen door slammed shut, someone was home. Two-Bit looked over and greeted the gang. "Hey Pony, Johnny, Dally you are all in early tonight."
I heard Dally's voice. "Yeah there aint much goin on so we thought we'd head back here for a snack. What are you all up to?"
Two-Bit pointed into the bathroom at me as Steve stepped out of the way so they could see, like I was some sort of animal in the zoo. "Take a look."
Dally was the first to stick his head around the doorway to see me sitting there with the cap pulled down as far as I could. "Scout, what's wrong with your face?"
I heard Steve yell from the dining room. "See Soda I told you the hat wouldn't work."
Hearing Dally's comment Ponyboy pushed past him into the bathroom and Johnny peeked in too. When Pony knelt down in front of me, I took the cap off so he could see. His eyes nearly jumped out of his head at the sight of my face. "Jeepers Scout what happened?"
I slumped my posture a little more. "I was walking home from the bus stop and I got jumped by some socs."
Dally yelled out. "Them damn bastards jumped a girl?" He got hot and started to shift his weight.
"No." I dropped my vision to the floor. "Well I mean….they thought I was a boy."
Two-Bit spoke from the piano bench he was sitting on. "Doesn't matter what they thought. They got no business coming into our territory and jumping anyone."
"Damn straight." Dally added. "Don't you worry Scout we're gonna get the bastards back for ya!"
I waved a hand at Dally and hoped he wouldn't follow through. "Dally that's just gonna cause more trouble. Why don't' we all just let it go."
Dally walked out of the bathroom. "Nah we don't let something like this go …" Dally looked to the front door. "Do we Darry?"
"Do we what?" Darry answered back as he arrived home from work.
Dally continued to rant. "We don't take no crap from no socs coming into our territory and beating up on our women."
I cringed at the comment and pulled the cap back over my eyes. There was nothing I could do, I was trapped in the bathroom with two of my brothers. Sensing conflict Johnny stepped out of the bathroom doorway, his vision on the floor as he sat down in a dining room chair and prepared to listen. I heard Darry's footsteps on the wooden floor and then the creak of the floorboards told me he was right outside the bathroom.
"What in the hell happened?" Darry demanded to know as he saw Soda leaning up against the sink with his arms folded across his chest and blood on his shirt, Ponyboy sitting by my side on the edge of the tub and me with a DX hat pulled down far over my face.
Immediately Pony absolved himself. "I don't know Darry, I just got home."
Darry looked at Sodapop and then at me. I could see his boots come into my view as he took the hat off my head. I looked pretty bad. I probably looked even worse than I really was in the eyes of a father. That's essentially what Darry was to me now.
My eyes met with my guardian's eyes and his face filled with confusion and concern. I looked away from him and mumbled. "I got beat up."
"What?" Darry snapped, grabbed my chin and positioned my face so he could see it better.
"I got jumped." I barely said.
"Where? By who?"
I thought about just not saying anything and wishing Darry would go away, but instead I spoke just above a whisper. "I was walking home from the bus stop and…."
Darry didn't let me finish as he puffed up his muscles and turned to Soda and yelled. "I thought you were going to pick her up at the bus stop!"
"I did!" Soda snapped back and was about to defend himself when I jumped in.
"It's not his fault Darry. Soda did what he was suppose to. I just got on the wrong bus and ended up at the bus stop earlier than I though it was. I waited a long time and thought Soda had blown me off so I decided to walk home." I worried because I knew by Darry's breathing that he was getting angrier. "Near the park I got jumped by some socs."
"What?" Darry yelled not believing socs would jump a girl.
"They jumped me and …" I began to cry and was embarrassed that I hadn't used my head. Darry is always telling Ponyboy to use his head and think more. "Soda and the guys came along and found me… they all got into a fight … and Soda brought me home…. Darry I'm so sorry, please don't be mad at me."
Darry didn't speak but his muscles tensed up and he seemed uncomfortable in his skin. I don't think he knew what to say. Part of him probably wanted to ground me for not following directions but the other part of him probably felt bad for me. Everyone was waiting for Darry's reaction.
"Darry?" I said as I sniffled. "Are you mad?"
Darry looked out into the dining room and slammed the bathroom door shut so just us four were in the conversation. "No Scout I'm not mad. Just …. I…." Darry was growing frustrated with the whole situation. "Just you got to use the brains that God gave you is all. Why in God's almighty earth is Soda the only one of you who can use his head? Darry paced, "and he didn't even finish school!" Darry looked down at me and barked, although I don't think he meant too. "Pull yourself together and get cleaned up!" With a final heavy sigh of disappointment Darry left the room to change his clothes leaving he bathroom door wide open.
I looked up at Soda who was smiling and unfazed by Darry's ranting. He playfully punched me in the arm, "see I told you he wouldn't get mad."
Steve stuck his head into the bathroom, "and I told you the hat thing wouldn't work."
Soda laughed and walked out of the bathroom to wrestle his cocky friend to the ground leaving Ponyboy and I alone. "Sissy you sure you are alright?" Ponyboy asked gently and rubbed the side of my arm.
"Yeah," I sniffled again. "I'll be ok, it's just everything is sore."
Pony whispered so no one in the gang would hear him. "That aint right that Darry yelled at you."
I looked up at Pony. "I don't think he meant to yell."
"Well meaning not to and not doing it are two different things." Pony started to fume. "He aint as perfect as he thinks he is!"
Now it was my turn to sigh. I had a screaming headache and I really wasn't in the mood to get into another discussion with Ponyboy about how cold and thoughtless our oldest brother was. I stood up and felt a strong pain in my side. Gingerly I lifted my shirt and found a huge bruise forming on my stomach.
"Gosh that's gotta hurt." Pony saw it too.
"Believe me Pony, it does."
Pony stood up and grabbed the bottle of aspirin out of the medicine cabinet. Ponyboy thought aspirin could fix anything! My brother handed me four, but I took two. "You ought to take more cause that is going to smart pretty bad in the morning."
"I'll be fine," I swallowed the aspirins and took a big drink of water. "Why don't you get out of here so I can take a shower."
"Alright," Pony agreed. "I'll go get you some clean clothes and drop them in here for you."
I smiled. "Thanks bud." Pony left the room and I started a warm shower. The water felt good as it washed the dirt and blood from my face and body. I stood there in the spray and thought about Darry. It wasn't fair that he had to deal with all of us. Maybe I shouldn't have been so set on staying at my home. I began to feel selfish for insisting I not be put up for adoption. I would have been in a safer neighborhood and Darry wouldn't have had to put one thought into my well being. It just wasn't fair.
Rapidly my thoughts turned to my parents. I missed them more than anything and for some reason I rarely thought about them. I began to wonder what my dad would have done when I came home beaten by the socs. I thought about how he would have held me and cried like Soda did. I missed my dad. I thought about how my mom would have fussed over my face and used a warm rag to clean the wounds and fetch me ice like Two-Bit did. Then she would have made me a little bed on the couch and brought me a bowl of ice cream if we had some. I missed my mom.
At that moment I missed both of my parents so much that I began to cry. I needed my parents so much at that moment that I began to sob. I stood naked in the shower and buried my face into my hands. "Oh God why…. Why couldn't we have just kept one of them? Mom and Dad I need you so much right now…" I assumed my sobbing was muffled by the running water, but somewhere in the middle of my grief I heard the radio turn on and music flooded the living room.
I looked up in a slight panic that the boys had heard me, then I decided I didn't care. It was how I felt and I wasn't going to hide it from myself or anyone else. I wasn't going to be like Darry. I reached down and twisted the shower handles to turn the water off. Quietly I stepped out onto the warn bathroom floor, dried off and slipped on the gym shorts and t-shirt that Pony had left for me.
Opening the door to the bathroom I noticed Darry sitting outside at the dining room table. I glanced over into the living room and noticed Dally and Steve look away, they had heard me sob. I looked back at Darry and noticed his pale blue eyes staring, he had heard me sob for mom and dad. I thought about Pony saying Darry's eyes were like ice, no feeling. Then I wondered if my blue eyes held the same mask of emotion.
"Are you headed to bed?" Darry stood up from the chair and towered over me.
"Yeah," I took a few steps out of the way of the door and called back to my brother. "Darry?" My brother turned back towards me. "I am really sorry about all the trouble I've been causing."
Darry simply said "Ok" and headed into the bathroom to take a shower.
I walked through the kitchen and down the hall to my room. I crawled up into the corner of my bed and slammed my head backwards into the wall out of frustration. Tears welled up again as I thought about how much I had ruined my brother's lives just through existing in this house, why had I been so selfish?
"Scout?" Ponyboy walked into my room and shut the door behind him. He crawled up on the bed with me and frowned. "Awe girl. Don't cry. Everything is going to be alright."
Anytime I was upset and Ponyboy came to my side I usually ended up crying even harder and this time was no exception. "Pony… I screwed up…"
"Scout…" Ponyboy started but I interrupted him.
"Not just tonight, I've screwed up everything. I just should…. I … should have listened to the judge from the beginning and allowed myself to be put up for adoption."
"Come on now Sis don't talk that way." Pony began to cry too. "Don't let Darry make you feel that way. None of this stuff has been your fault."
"But … Pony it aint fair that Darry and Sodapop have to work to take care of us." I wiped my tears on my sleeve, but more took their place. "If I weren't here things would be better, easier."
"Now you know Soda wouldn't have that!" Ponyboy demanded. "He would work three jobs to take care of you if he had too! Besides I couldn't live here without you. You and I are best friends."
I smiled at the comment. I always knew Pony and I were best friends, but it was nice to hear him say it out loud. "Thanks Pon, you're my best friend too."
Ponyboy stood up and tugged at my quilt and sheet. "Why don't you lay down and get some rest." I didn't argue with him. My face was throbbing and I had a headache. Ponyboy threw the covers over my body and sat on the edge of the bed to rub my back. I knew he would stay there until I fell asleep. I thought a little longer about whether Darry really wanted the challenge of having us all to take care of. Maybe Ponyboy was right and Darry didn't truly love us or want us around? I yawned and shook the thought from my head. I hoped Darry kept us around because he cared and not just because he felt we were his responsibility. If that was the only reason we were here I would rather be somewhere else.
