The Love and Duty of a Knight
A FFVIII Fanfiction by Bobbi-Chan
Disclaimer: I do not own Squaresoft/Square-Enix Final Fantasy VIII, the characters, locations, or anything else. I wish I did though... muahahaha. Sorry, a girl can dream, right?
"Time changes everything. They mean everything to me. They are my world, my hope, my dreams, my past, present and my future. They are the only thing I really have in this forsaken world. Before the events that so drastically changed our world and our lives, I never would have thought that I, Squall Leonhart would be talking like this. There was a time when I thought these kinds of words were a sign of weakness. Back then, I was young, foolish, but also hurting deep inside. I would not allow anyone to get close to me. I locked myself up into my own world, my own thoughts. I feared that if I allowed anyone to get close to me, they would be taken away and I'd be left with that pain all over again. When I was a child, Ellone... "Sis" meant the world to me. But I was only four years old. I couldn't protect her. I thought I could go on alone. Looking back, I realized how miserably I failed.
I was wrong, love is not a sign of weakness. It's a sign of strength. It takes a lot to love, to truly love. The battle of compromise is sometimes harder and more challenging than the toughest phsyical battles that I encountered in those younger days... when I didn't understand. When I was a child. I loved Ellone, but I couldn't protect her. Today, I have Rinoa, and it is my job... no duty to protect her. Not only her but those around us that I have grown to love and care for as well. I have sworn it, and by my life, I will not allow anyone to take the ones I love from me, ever again.
Time changes a lot of things. It's been eight years since the battle with Ultemecia. I have grown up a lot since then. I kept the position of commander of Garden until I was twenty-one. I decided at that point, it was time for me to leave. For most of my life, Garden was the only home I ever knew. When I was older though, I realized that I had another home to go to, even if she didn't really realize it yet. From the time I turned eighteen until I was twenty-one, I had went through a lot of uncertian phases. Sometimes I would purposely bury myself in work and other responsibillities at Garden. Rinoa, well, she would get really upset with me when I wasn't able to spend time with her. I understand why now. I took her and our relationship for granted during the first year or so. When Cid realized we were having these problems, he appointed an assistant for me, to take care of some of the other work that needed to be done. This freed up a lot of time for me. Though at first, I was really opposed to the idea. At the time, I could only open up to Rinoa, and little, by little, my other friends. For the most part though, I was still a cold-hearted bastard.
Speaking of which... Laguna. Well, I'm glad to say that our relationship has improved a lot since then. I realized the importance of our relationship not too long ago. Rinoa and I, we really are lucky. Her father, formerly known as General Caraway, became the President of Deling and the Galbadian empire shortly after the defeat of Ultemecia. Laguna, as you know, is the President of Esthar. Our parents control the world's most powerful armies. Both have made a promise to help in the aide of protecting Rinoa, at all costs. For this, we are both extremely grateful. Rinoa and I swallowed our pride and made amends to these very vital relationships. We know that eventually their time in office is going to end, so we must make every opportunity to enjoy our lives today, and make the most out of them. There are no guarantees, right?
Ellone is married, believe it or not, our "Sis" was married. She fell in love with one of the men on the white SeeD ship. His name is Rodney. They're both living on the white SeeD ship right now, taking care of orphaned children during this recent "Soceress War". They do have a home in Winhill though. The woman who owned Raine's old house moved away. They immediately bought it. Eventually they plan on settling down and having a family, but for now, they enjoy spending the warmer seasons at sea taking care of their adoptive children.
Selphie and Irvine are also married. They were the first in our "Orpahnage Gang" to tie the knot. As if none of us could see that one coming. They both went to Trabia to help rebuild the Garden there. Eventually they just ended up settling down. I'm sure it was really hard for Irvine to control his habits though. The two now have a two year-old girl. They're both currently living in Dollet. They recently moved into a townhouse that overlooks the ocean. We've visited them a few times in the past.
Zell, well, in a lot of ways, he's still the same old Zell. He's still energetic, and he still loves those hot dogs. He has learned to control his emotions a lot more though, which I'm glad. He stuck around at Garden until he was twenty, as per the Garden Policy. He moved back to Balamb and ended up marrying the girl he had a crush on from the Library. They already have two children. I'm glad to see that he's doing well.
Quistis, well everything has been very hard on her. She's still teaching at Balamb Garden. About a year before Rinoa and I left, Seifer somehow popped back into the picture. We didn't get along at first, but I realized that he is a changed man. His past actions really made an impact on him. He's a lot more solemn, and a hell of a lot more considerate. Quistis and Seifer have been dating on and off for the past few years. Recently, he proposed to her. After a few weeks, she decided to take him up on it. I really hope the best for them in the future.
Headmaster Cid and Edea are still running Balamb Garden. Cid has become a noticably different person since Matron has returned. He's been a great help to me teaching everything I need to know about being a knight. Matron has helped a lot with Rinoa, and has become like a second mother to her. Even though she didn't grow up with us, she's considered one of the orphanage children.
As for our lives right now, we currently move around a lot. We can't stay in one place for too terribly long, because there are always problems with people who do not like the idea of Rinoa being a soceress. When we first decided to leave Garden, we moved to Timber. We lived there for about two years, afterwards, we had a lot of problems on our hands. It wasn't civil unrest or anything like that. There was just a lot of harassment by different individuals. We would've thought that they would respect Rinoa for helping to liberate Timber. However, people forget things very quickly.
After that we moved to Fisherman's Horizon, in hopes that it would be peaceful there, since it was nuetral. It was a stupid and desperate move on our part. The people there remembered me as the commander of SeeD and they found out that Rinoa was a soceress very quickly. We only stayed there for about a month before the harassment became too much. We took a train to Winhill and we've been staying there ever since. The people there don't seem to have any problems with me, after they found out my mother was Raine. They allow us to stay there, and we really do not have many problems. We are currently living in Laguna's old house, right next door to Sis, when she's home that is. She allows us to use her home when she's away for a few months at a time. It's very peaceful here, but sometimes, it gets to me. I guess the old SeeD in me seeks action, excitement, and the unknown. Though it's my duty to protect Rinoa, so I never leave her side for more than a few hours at a time. I try to make sure that my battle techniques never get rusty. So I go out of the town from time to time every week and fight monsters. Without the help of the GF, battles become a bit harder, but it's worth it. I don't want to forget our memories together and what we've been through. There will be a time in the future, where we probably will need to rely on then again. So this is why I keep this, so that we will never forget.
That brings us to today. Today, I have a new responsibillity. Today, Squall Leonhart is a former SeeD and commander, a friend, a son, a knight, a husband, and--"
"Mr. Leonhart?" A young woman wearing Mog print scrubs stood in the doorway.
"Yes?" Squall urgently looked up from his laptop computer.
"It's almost time." She replied.
Squall closed his computer, stuffing it into his bag. He quickly followed the Nurse down the hallway. "I'll need you to put these on before going in." The young woman said, handing him a pair of scrubs and a hairnet. "You can put your clothes in this bag for now. When you're finished, come to room 309." She pointed to a nearby restroom. Taking the small stack of articles, he quickly changed into them. Afterwards, he headed further down the hallway, looking for the room number the nurse gave him.
The nurse nodded at him. "Doctor, Mr. Leonhart is here."
"Thank you." A tall older man with graying hair and a moustache replied. He looked at Squall.
"Mr. Leonhart?"
"Yes?" Squall replied as he approached him.
"She is doing well. In order to suppress any powers that may negatively effect you, the child, or her, we gave her an epidural. It will be a fairly painless, but lengthy process. This is indeed a rare circumstance. We are hoping for the best."
"Can I see her?" Squall asked, crossing his arms. Some of his old habits stuck with him.
"Yes you may, she's behind the curtian. I'll return in a few minutes. I'll leave you two to yourselves for a moment."
"Thank you." Squall nodded. He walked to the back of the room where the curtian was put up. He pulled it back for a moment and he stepped in. From that second his eyes were on her. She was lying on her side, breathing heavily. Her hair was dampened with sweat, and her eyes were closed. "...Rinoa?" Squall walked over to her and placed a hand on her shoulder.
"Squall!" Rinoa's eyes opened wide full of joy. She reached for his hand. "You're back!"
"I'm sorry, I had to get something to eat, and I had a lot on my mind. I'm back though. I won't be leaving again. How're you doing?" Squall asked, gently pushing her dampened hair out of her face.
"Better." Rinoa muttered weakly. "It was getting to the point where I couldn't take it anymore. It hurts like hell."
"I bet." Squall smiled softly. He gazed into her eyes holding, her hand tightly.
"Are you... scared?" Rinoa implored, interlocking her fingers with his.
"To be honest, yes. I'm scared to death." Squall stroked her cheek. "I'm also, excited, happy. Moreover I'm extremely lucky and proud."
Rinoa smiled at him. "I love you." Her voice was feable and weak, a combination of the sedatives and the labor she had been going through for the past eighteen hours.
"I love you too." Squall placed a gentle kiss on her forehead. "Now and forever."
Squall stayed by Rinoa's side. When the doctors and nurses weren't in the room, they would talk about their fears, hopes and dreams. When the doctor was in the room, helping Rinoa, Squall sat in the chair and gazed out the window, deep in thought. They were in Esthar the night before meeting with Laguna when she went into labor. They rushed her to the hospital in the city. They both decided it would be best for her to have her children here. Doctor Odine's work in the soceresses and magic proved to be greatly helpful in their case.
"Ze soceress giving birth is a very rare circumstance indeed" the doctor explained to them earlier that week. "Zare has been only a few documented cases of zis happening in ze past. Ze bond between ze knight and ze soceress must be very close in order for zis to happen. Usually zat is not ze case. Zat is why it does not happen very often. You should consider yourself very lucky indeed. I will appoint ze best doctors to help you give birth to your child. It is ze only thing I can do for now to make up for my mistakes in ze past."
He thought about the conversation with Cid and Edea after Rinoa's pregnancy was discovered. After a lot of conversation and thought, Rinoa and Squall had decided that it would be best to send their children to Garden. That way they would be trained to defend their mother at all costs. Yes, Garden did train SeeD to kill evil soceresses. However, after the Ultemecia ordeal, Cid decided to allow Garden to aide in the protection of good soceresses. Edea and Cid were deeply concerned for Rinoa and Squall's future. Eventually, Laguna and Caraway would die, and no one can guarantee whether the new leaders of each country would be loyal to Rinoa and Squall. Cid extended the oppourtunity to allow Squall to become headmaster of Garden during that time. He could allow everyone to learn the important history of their past. Their children could grow up in the Garden and learn everything they would need to know. Edea explained that soceresses have extended lives. They reach adulthood and never age. Nobody was sure how long a soceress would actually live, even the good ones. They all eventually witness their friends, knight, and other loved ones die. This is the point where the good soceresses usually loose control of their powers. Understanding this fact, Edea deamed Garden to be a safe haven for the good soceresses of the present and future. Squall and Rinoa really wanted to try and lead a normal life for as long as they possibly could. They agreed though, that it would be in best interest of their children and Rinoa's own future to take the opportunity when the time comes.
"They're all here." A familar voice stated from behind the curtian.
"Thanks Laguna. I'll go let everyone know how she's doing." Squall nodded.
"Thank you." Technically, nobody but immediate family could be present in the hospital room. Since Laguna was Rinoa's Father-in-law, and the president of Esthar, they allowed him in.
"Rinoa, I'll be back in a few minutes." He kissed her forehead. "I'm going to let everyone know how you're doing. Laguna's going to stay here with you, okay?"
"Okay Squall. Please hurry back." Rinoa pleaded with her eyes.
"I promise." Rinoa smiled at his response.
Squall entered the large hospital waiting room. The first to notice him was Seifer.
"Well, well, well, looks like puberty boy found a new style." He smirked.
"Whatever." Squall rolled his eyes.
"Seifer, knock it out!" Quistis jabbed him in the ribs with her elbow.
"OUCH! I'm only kidding. For old times sake, sheesh." He turned his eyes back to the scrub clad knight. "Congradulations. How's she doing?"
Squall walked further into the room and eyed all of his friends. Everyone was there. Quistis and Seifer were sitting on one of the two-seater chairs. Selphie, Irvine, Zell and his wife, and Ellone and Rodney were sitting in other chairs around the room. In the back, four small children were playing with various toys that the hospital kept in this room for young visitors. They were well behaved children, they laughed and played quietly. A slight smile came over his face when he noticed them. He wondered how his children would get along with them. "She's doing alright. She's at five centimeters right now. They're expecting it within the next few hours or so. Oh, and they gave her an epidural too. This way we won't have to worry about any of her powers getting out of control because of the pain."
"Awww! I'm so excited!" Selphie fidgeted in her seat, gripping onto Irvine's arm. "I guess her dad couldn't make it, could he?"
"No, Caraway couldn't make it in time. He had a really imporant conference to attend today. But he'll be flying here tonight." Squall nodded. "Laguna called him last night to let him know about Rinoa's situation."
"You know," Zell began. "I never thought I'd see this day come. The day when Squall, in scrubs, gives us a briefing on how Rinoa is giving birth. Eight and a half years ago, I would've never thought Squall would even have children." Everyone, including Squall had to laugh at his comment.
"I have to get back guys. I promised Rinoa I wouldn't be gone long."
"Right, get back to her... Dad!" Irvine winked, giving him the SeeD salute. Squall returned the gesture before leaving the room.
"Push!" The nurse coaxed.
"You can do it Rinoa. Just breathe and push, I'm here." Squall was holding Rinoa's hand and as she was going thorugh her final minutes of labor. His voice was enough to provide comefort and strength. She was breathing heavily. Her sweat made her now reddened skin glisten in the florecent light. Her long black hair was now a tangled, drenched and matted mess. No matter, Squall thought she was as beautiful as the night that he first met her, if not more. The doctors had to let the epidural reside just a bit so that she would have an easier time pushing the baby. Rinoa was still in a great deal of pain, probably the most she could remember feeling. The pain was evident, as tears streamed freely down her face from the corners of her eyes. Squall also felt tears stinging at his eyes. He hadn't had a reason to cry most of his life. He wasn't sure whether he wanted to cry because he could not take her pain away, or the fact in a few minutes, he would be holding a tiny life that he had helped create in an act of love.
"I can see the head!" The nurse cried. "Just a few more."
"Come on Rinoa, you can do it. It'll be over in a few minutes. Stay with me." Rinoa was gripping Squall's hand so tighly. For the past few minutes, he had a glimse into how much pain she was in, by how tightly she was squeezing his hand. He continued though. His other hand stroked her cheek and kept the hair out of her face.
"It hurts!" Rinoa cried in between heavy breaths.
"I know, I know. It'll be over soon. You're doing good." He wanted to hold her so tightly now, but this was the best he could do.
The loud scream of a newborn baby could be heard. "It's head is out, just one more big push!" The nurse said. Rinoa complied, and the baby fell into the arms of the nurse. A swarm of three nurses and the doctor surrounded the baby for a moment, leaving Squall and Rinoa to themselves.
"You did it!" He kissed her softly, while Rinoa cried.
"Congradulations. It's a girl!" The doctor said, a few moments later, bringing the still crying baby to the couple, placing her in Rinoa's arms. For a moment they gazed at the tiny child in wonder.
"She's so tiny." Squall spoke, barely above a whisper. "She's beautiful..."
Rinoa and Squall sat in silence watching the baby. "Do you want to hold her?" Rinoa asked.
"Sure." He replied, tenderly reaching for his newborn daughter. He held her, gazing at her tiny features. "What are we going to call her?"
"Julia." Rinoa smiled.
"How about... Julia Raine?" Squall replied.
"Perfect!" Rinoa smiled, pressing her hands together happilly.
"Welcome to the world, Julia Raine Leonhart." Squall whispered softly, as a tear made it's way down his cheek.
It had been a few hours since Julia was born. Rinoa was resting peacefully in another hospital room. Squall looked into the nursery, his eyes never leaving the tiny little girl he helped bring into the world. Irvine stood beside him. Everyone else left for the hotel for the evening. Irvine agreed to stick around and keep Squall company.
"She's a real looker isn't she?" Irvine joked.
Squall chuckled in response, he couldn't find any words to say to describe how he felt at that moment. A long silence passed between the two men.
"You know..." Irvine began. "After seeing Aaron for the first time, I forgot about all the worries and fears I had about the future. Everything Sefie and I had ever been through was wrapped up into that little life infront of us. I can't imagine how you're feeling right now."
"Yeah..." Squall trailed off.
"Well, I know you want to stay here and protect the both of them for the rest of the night. But you need some sleep. If I'm guessing from experience, you haven't slept a wink since she went into labor, right?"
"No, I haven't." His eyes were still locked on his daughter who was peacefully sleeping.
"You need some good rest. They'll be safe here tonight. C'mon, let's go back to the hotel"
"Yeah, I guess you're right." Squall replied reluctantly. "I've just never left her alone for more than a few hours since we left Garden."
"Rinoa will want you to get some rest too. Unless you want me to break your arm so you can spend the night here too."
"That's okay. I'll manage." Squall nodded towards the door, Irvine started walking in that direction. Squall followed, but then paused and looked back at the window. "Goodnight Julia, Goodnight Rinoa. I love you both." He whispered.
Squall sat on the hotel room bed finishing what he had been typing that morning. He couldn't sleep, even though his body was exhausted.
Today, Squall Leonhart is a former SeeD and commander, a friend, a son, a knight, a husband, and father. I held Julia Raine Leonhart in my arms for the first time. I was given another reason to live today. My duty is to protect Julia and Rinoa, the ones I love more than life itself, until the very end... whatever that end may be."
With that, he clicked the submit button, before closing the computer a final time for the night. He placed it on the table beside him, turned of the light, and settled into bed. This was the first time he had slept alone in years. Several years ago, he wouldn't have wanted it another way.
"Time changes everything. It really does."
Authors Note: Well that's it! I wanted to write this little short story as a way of planning out events for other FFVIII fan fictions that I want to write. I've never had a kid, or even experienced any of that... so I had to do a bit of research. For those of you who have had children before, let me know if anything is really off or wonky. Cause I really have no clue, and I'm scared to death to find out myself right now. Anyway, wrapping up, I hope you enjoyed this!
