For notes, warnings and disclaimers see chapter 1

Chapter 31: Fitting Together Is Not As Easy As It Seems
(Giles's POV)

I can hardly believe it but Joyce and I have been married for a full month now and the truth is that it's been harder than I could possibly have anticipated. It's not that we are not getting along, far from it, but family life is not something I'm used to... and neither is having to share a single bathroom with three women, two of whom don't ever knock. That has most definitely been a new experience... one I could gladly have died without.

I know that -while not exactly pleasant- that particular situation is only temporary but for the time being it is driving me crazy. Right now we are looking for a bigger place, though we are certainly not in too much of a hurry to find one, thanks to the fact that we have no choice but to try and maintain an almost impossible balancing act. On the one hand there is the INS, on the other there is the Council and we have to satisfy the former without revealing our hand to the latter. It hasn't been easy.

The thing is that two weeks after we got married Joyce and I had to go to an interview with an INS representative. It may have been just a formality but that did nothing to change the fact that it was far from a pleasant experience, luckily we got through it just fine. The explanation for our wedding did hold, the fact that the paperwork for Faith's adoption had already been filed was a major point on our behalf and the fact that Joyce and I do know each other fairly well was enough to enable us to answer most of their questions, though there were obviously some details that did raise quite a few eyebrows. The one aspect of our whole living arrangement that they found to be more than a little troubling was the one having to do with my decision to keep my old apartment for the time being, though luckily it was a question we had already foreseen.

Seeing how it was not exactly an unexpected concern we had gone to that meeting with a perfectly reasonable explanation at the ready. We told them that, due to some research projects I'm currently working on, I need to have easy access to some books and documents that are not available to me in a high school library and that, unfortunately, it is also impossible for me to fit those materials here in Joyce's house. It wasn't too difficult for us to point out that while this house had been more than adequate enough for Joyce and Buffy when they first moved to Sunnydale, the fact is that it is starting to feel a little crowded now that Faith and I are here too and that as a result of that particular situation I was keeping my old place as a sort of extension for the time being. In other words, we told them that I had made the decision to keep my old apartment in order to have access to my books while we search for a bigger place, one that can accommodate all of us more comfortably... and hopefully one that will have at least two bathrooms.

Of course that's not the only reason why I'm keeping my old apartment, in fact it's not even the main one. The real reason behind that decision has to do mostly with our current balancing act. Simply put, the Council hasn't been informed of my change of residence or status and that means that there's no way I could possibly give up my old place prior to Buffy's Cruciamentum... but there was no need to share that particular bit of information with the INS.

As for Faith's adoption, things on that front seem to be moving along nicely and we are less than a week away from having the final papers issued. Luckily Cristina is even more eager than we are to have that particular business settled as soon as humanly possible so -in spite of the nightmare that was our meeting with her- she has been extremely helpful in that regard.

In terms of how Buffy and Faith are coping with everything that's been going on around them, I have to say that they are both doing remarkably well. At times I can barely believe that it's been less than two months since Faith first came into our lives, so much has changed since then, and she is doing fine. In fact she's doing much better than I could have dared to hope for.

She's already gotten settled into the routine of going to school each day, she is starting to relax more around us and she no longer seems to be worried about the possibility of being kicked out of the house if she messes up. True, that means she's grumbling about having too much homework and it also means that her room is starting to look more and more like an obstacle course -much to Joyce's dismay- but at least she's unpacked her bags and she has enough clothes to her name to actually make a mess in the first place. In fact over all I would say that the mess is a good indicator when it comes to the fact that she is starting to feel comfortable with the idea of just being herself, even when Joyce and I are around.

As for Buffy, things are slowly getting better for her too, though the changes are nowhere near as obvious as they've been in Faith's case... but then again there wasn't so much for Buffy to change in the first place. Things in school will probably never be entirely normal for her either, we all know that. There are all kinds of rumors circulating concerning the time she was missing and that -combined with the rumors that were circulating before she came back, the ones having to do with Kendra's death, or even with Ted's- have served to make her something of a social outcast, especially among some of the girls, but that's not exactly a surprise. Harmony and company will probably never change and they have been especially vicious lately... luckily Buffy is coping fairly well with their attitudes and the fact that her true friends have been very vocal in her defense has served not only to reassure her but also to mend some of the fences that were damaged by their initial reactions to her return.

It is true that the easy camaraderie they once shared hasn't been entirely restored and it is true that things will probably never be the same, but things are slowly getting better between them and at least they are no longer walking on eggshells around each other. I know Buffy does miss her friends and the way things used to be -especially with Willow- but she was right when she said that right now their perspectives and priorities are just too different for things to go back to the way they were before Buffy ran away... before she was forced to rearrange her whole perception of the world around her.

It may pain us all to admit it but -no matter how much we may wish it were otherwise- the fact remains that Willow is not ready to understand what Buffy's been through, not yet, though hopefully that will change once she goes off to college and is confronted with a less sheltered view of reality... and yes, I am well aware of the irony of describing the life led by a girl who was born on top of a hellmouth as 'sheltered'. Of course, I am also aware of the fact that chances are Willow will choose to go to college away from Sunnydale and I know that is likely to put an end to what used to be a beautiful friendship but there is nothing I can do in that regard.

The truth is that I just don't know what is going to happen once Buffy and Willow graduate from high school. I'm torn between wanting what would be best for Buffy and what would be best for Willow. The thing is that college for both of them is still several months away, though I can't deny the fact that I'm incredibly proud of Buffy's SAT scores. She even outdid Willow, though I am aware that that was at least partly due to the fact that Willow's insecurities came back to haunt her in the oral portion of the test. In other words things are going better than I would have anticipated in more ways than one but that is not the whole picture.

Even though both Joyce and I are happy with the way things are going with regards to the girls and school, they are not our only concern and the fact that they are doing great doesn't mean that we haven't run into other problems. The fact is that we are married and that means that we also have to deal with our relationship to each other and that is one minefield I'm not sure I can survive.

The thing is that when we got married we did it knowing that it was something we were doing for the girls but we never really took the time to think what it would mean for the two of us and that has left us feeling more than a little awkward... a lot more than a little, to be accurate.

Our main problem has to do with our sleeping arrangements... in fact our sleeping arrangements are basically what's keeping us up at night. That was something we hadn't really given much thought to before we got married but the fact is that sharing a bed with Joyce for this past month hasn't exactly been a relaxing experience. We are both moody and tired... and getting the eye roll treatment from the girls on a daily basis due to our inability to 'just get it over with'. In fact it's so bad that Faith is even threatening to provide us with a manual... a fully illustrated one with 'insert A into B' type of instructions. I really don't want to know what that girl could come up with if she were to set her mind to it.

The fact is that -whether we like it or not- we are having to deal with a situation that for some reason is not usually described in etiquette handbooks... though maybe it should be. I know I for one would really appreciate having some sort of guidelines.

In a way the candy made things a lot easier for us, it enabled us to get past our inhibitions and that is something we could really use right now. I know we are both adults, I know we should be able to share a bed without it becoming such a big deal, but things are not working that way.

We are married but at the same time we are just starting to date and trying to merge both relationships has proven to be more than a little tricky. It is ridiculous. If ours were an entirely sham marriage, then this whole situation wouldn't really be a problem and neither would it be an issue if ours were a proper marriage, but right now we are stranded in the middle of nowhere and we have no clue as to what to do.

I don't claim to have all the answers, far from it... but my problem is that usually when I don't know something I can research it in hopes of finding a solution. For most of my life I've been able to trust my books in times of crisis only this time around they have no answers for me and I find myself at a loss for what to do. One thing is certain though, whether I like it or not, the fact is that fitting together is not as easy as it seems.