"Here we are, after you." Woody said as he pulled Jordan's chair out for her.
The restaurant was relatively empty for a Friday night and Woody was thankful for the privacy. He wanted nothing more than to spend a quiet night with Jordan and he hoped she would be comfortable enough to let herself enjoy it too.
After a few glasses of wine and a shared dessert, the comments Woody had been holding back all night began to easily slip from his lips. "You know, you look….amazing in that dress." He chuckled nervously and rubbed the back of his neck.
"Thank you…" Jordan said a shyly with a slight slur. "Though speaking of which, you got Lily involved in this whole operation? So then you're looking forward to fielding all of the questions when we get back to Boston?" she asked amused. Lily was a great grief counselor but that said nothing of her ability to avoid office gossip. Especially when she'd learned from the king; Nigel.
"What questions?"Woody asked grabbing the bottle of wine from the now melted bucket beside him and topping Jordan's glass off again. " We're…two friends, getting away from the hustle and…and bustle of Boston for a night on the town together. Harmless." Woody shrugged but the creeepings of a smile were on his lips.
"Woody, you had Lily get me a dress and pack a bag for me…a romantic weekend down in New Haven," she said clasping her hands together next to her cheek imagining the fairy tale that was probably playing through Lily's mind as she slept that night.
"I'm sure half the morgue and the PD knows by now. Placing bets on how long it'll last…" Jordan snorted. "I can just see Nigel with his little grid right now, calculating the days, weeks, minutes.." she stopped and looked through the wine to the bottom of the glass. "He needs a life." She said shaking her head and sighed wistfully. "I need a life." She mumbled.
"You have a life Jordan." Woody scolded lightly. "You're here with me aren't you? Dropping everything, coming with me to another state.." he said nodding. "Course I didn't give you much choice did I?" Woody asked with his own wistful sigh and downed the rest of his wine before a realization dawned on him.
"Did I kidnap you?" he asked looking at Jordan.
Between too much wine and too much conversation Jordan wasn't quite sure she wasn't anymore. "I dunno…maybe you did." She laughed. "Well that was certainly another way to go." She said shaking her head.
"But so you didn't answer me…are you prepared to defend my honor when we get back home? Everyone'll want to know how I was in bed…and I'm sure all of the girls will be on me to hear whether your innocence stems into ALL aspects of your life." She smirked and sat back in her chair tired.
Woody smiled. "Nah, even if they did I wouldn't say anything you know that…I'm not the kind to kiss and tell Jordan." He said leaning forward to catch her eye.
Jordan nodded appreciatively. "So maybe you aren't as innocent as I thought." She winked. "But then I guess I've never really asked you about the woman you've dated in Boston. I'm sure they were nothing like me though." She said with a nervous chuckle. She couldn't help but think of someone completely opposite of her. Someone bright and bouncy, blonde and not so jaded. Devan.
Woody sat back. "I really haven't 'dated' anyone since I've been here." Woody explained. "Now if what you're trying to ask is.." he lowered his voice a little. "when the last time I had sex was.." he puffed out his cheeks. "Maybe a year ago." He shrugged. He hoped Jordan didn't connect the time frame to when the Malden killing had occurred. It only took one glance at her face to know she had. He quickly explained.
"It had nothing to do with you Jordan…honest.." he nodded. "It had to do with me and feeling a little lost. I was angry, a little hurt, I wanted comfort… a warm body…that was all. Unfortunately she wanted a relationship but I just couldn't…I broke it off and then.." Jordan cut him off with a raised hand.
"Yeah, Devon..it's okay, you don't need to explain." Jordan said shaking her head with a polite insistence that she didn't need to hear about he and Devon.
Woody couldn't' help but smile. He knew Jordan was always a little uncomfortable with he and Devon hanging out together.
Misconstruing Woody's smile for amusement, Jordan looked away. "I'm sorry…did I say something funny?" she asked feeling a little hurt.
"No no…it's just well…." He touched her hand again. "You think I slept with Devon…don't you?" he whispered looking into her eyes.
"Well, you two were so chummy what with your Chinese food on Sunday nights and all I just thought…" Woody cut her off.
"You assumed…and when you assume you make an ass out of u and me." He quipped but then grew serious. "We didn't sleep together." He said simply.
Jordan smiled softly and felt the air return to her lungs. She had assumed. It had seemed to be obvious at the time that they were sleeping together but now she knew that had just been jealousy making her think that. Jealousy. Now there was a new feeling for Jordan Cavanaugh.
"Sorry…I guess my sex radar is broken….it's been a while." She said trying to laugh it off.
"How long?" Woody asked quietly.
"Well I don't have my sex calendar with me.." Jordan quipped, " but more than a year.." she sighed. "We're kinda pathetic aren't we?" She asked with a sad smile.
"We should probably be looking at anything like a sex object much less each other and here we are, in Connecticut, at a fancy restaurant about to head up to two beds in a hotel room, but you know that's good right? I mean, nothing kills a friendship faster than sex right?" Jordan nodded and looked at Woody for reassurance.
"R-right…yeah." Woody agreed regretfully. And she was right. Sex changed everything once it entered a friendship. But hadn't sexual tension always been a part of their relationship? Woody knew that going back to friends after sex would be next to impossible for he and Jordan, but what if going backwards ended up not even being an issue?
"Well I'm beat…and full, thank you for dinner Woody, really." Jordan said slipping her hand out of his as she stood from the table and went out for air while Woody paid the check.
"So how bout' some dancing and drinks?" Woody asked when he found her outside rubbing her arms.
"I think we've had enough to drink farm boy…and I'm not as young as I used to be.." Jordan countered but smiled appreciatively when Woody slipped his coat off and wrapped it around her shoulders.
"Back to the hotel it is then, I wonder what's on pay per view." Woody mused aloud as they got to the car and he held the door open for her.
Once in bed with the lights off Woody listened to Jordan trying to settle in the next bed over.
It'd been an interesting little get away but he couldn't help feeling like that's all it was. A get away. Something temporary that was nice and fun and relaxing but at the same time fleeting. He wondered if that was how Jordan thought of him. Of their relationship.
"Jordan?" he called out softly. "You awake?"
Jordan grumbled in response but he could tell she was faking it.
"Am I your 'get away'?" he asked a little more clearly and propped himself up on his elbows in time to see her body stiffen.
"What do you mean?" Jordan asked after a moment and cleared her throat. Woody waited silently until she turned over to face his bed.
"Why was I never good enough to sleep with? I mean…" he trailed off with a sigh. "What is it? Is it that I'm 'safe'? Like I'm the buddy you can hang around with and when you feel like it, stir him up into the ceiling like some love sick 4th grader?" he asked quietly and flopped back onto his pillow.
Jordan had never looked at it that way. Of course she never really much took his feelings into consideration before. But now she had let him in a little. After Cal left she had assured Woody that he wasn't alone. He had his friends, his work and most importantly to him, he had her. She'd never really explained to him in what respect she had meant that though.
"No.." Jordan said quickly and sat up. "No Woody it's not like that at all.." she said and climbed out of bed, moving over to sit next to him on his bed. "I…I do care for you Woody…more than I think you know, certainly more than I've ever been willing to admit…" She said and Woody sat up with her.
"So admit it now Jordan….we're alone, there's no work here, no reason to be scared. It's just you and me..okay?.." he whispered and reached out to touch her cheek tenderly. "It's okay." He said against and slowly leaned closer to her, his eyes trying to find hers in the dark.
There was a tense moment before Jordan sighed. "Alright. You want the truth?" she asked and Wody finally found her eyes in the dark.
"Yes.." he whispered back. It was one word but the sincerity of his need to hear the answer echoed much stronger.
"I've always felt like I'm not worthy of you Woody. You're a good guy…" Jordan said and dropped her eyes from his. "Too good for me and I just…I don't know how to mix….to mix love and sex….I've never done well in those type of relationships….I get scared….scared that the other person will leave or…or something will happen to them..." She admitted softly.
Woody listened to her and reached out to capture her chin between his thumb and pointer finger when she looked away. He cleared his throat and felt his heartbeat speed up.
"D-does…does that mean that you umm..that you…?" he asked so softly he thought Jordan might not have heard but he couldn't finish the sentence. He was afraid too. Afraid that he would all of a sudden wake up back in Kewaunee, wake up alone, be right where he was with a Jordan who would say she didn't love him. At least not THAT way.
"Of course Woody.." Jordan finished softly. "I've loved you for a….a very long time. I love you." She whispered as her voice broke a little and she leaned forward to kiss Woody's lips gently. When she pulled back she looked down at his one hand holding hers tightly. "And that's why I haven't….why I couldn't…..it was never about me being too good for you…I just don't know HOW to mix love and sex.." she said softly.
"I told you Jordan…love's not easy…people fall in and out of it all the time. I'm not going to try and tell you that it's impossible for us to fall out of love but I've NEVER felt about anyone how I feel about you. You've driven me half crazy and whole mad. You've gotten me into a lot of sticky situations, ones that, by the way I've wanted to strangle you for…but ….but that's what love is Jordan. It's wanting to be with someone in spite of and in some cases…" he said lifting her chin again to look into her eyes. "BECAUSE of those things. It's about accepting everything they are, the good, the bad…and sex is just a result of wanting to show them how much they love you…how good you make them feel.." he whispered and slid his hand down her side to rest on her hip, his thumb lightly rubbing circles there.
And then there was silence. Woody held his position, one hand on her hip the other holding her hand as he let Jordan process everything he had just said. Then she leaned forward again after an anxious moment passed for Woody and kissed him softly, her tongue slipping out to touch his lips letting him know her decision in a soft breath. "Yes.." she breathed.
Gone was the soft teasing kiss of earlier that night. He wouldn't lose his chance to have her this time. At that moment looking into her eyes and knowing for the first time since they'd met that she was being completely honest with him, the need in her eyes and voice, Woody needed to make her his like he needed his next breath. Maybe more than that.
"I love you too…" he murmured and smiled against her lips.
Jordan sprang into action then, pushing him back onto the bed and stretching out on top of him. She kissed him hard, forcefully; Jordan-ly. She ran her hands over his chest and sides over the undershirt he was wearing and wrapped her arms around his neck when he started to roll her to her back.
Woody alternated between sighs and moans as Jordan's hands roamed over his torso. A tingle ran up his spine and he could control the grin that spread over his face as he dropped his weight down on her.
"What? Something wrong?" Jordan asked stilling her hands as they threaded through his hair.
Woody shook his head slowly, shyly. "No…I..I uhh…this is just kinda…different…" he said and felt his cheeks flush when she looked at him questioningly. "I've never done this with my best friend before." He whispered and the grin grew wider.
"This is gonna change everything." Jordan nodded and traced her thumb across his full bottom lip.
Woody looked down into her eyes. She'd looked at him with a lot of emotions in the past several years but the brassy gold her eyes were right then made him have to think about whether his heart was still beating.
"Good." He finally said in a grunt and seized her lips again. His hands finally made the connection to his brain. This was Jordan, wanting him to hold her, kiss her, touch her. His hands finally began to roam up and down her sides, trailing up the back of her shirt to touch her warm flesh with new found ease. All of the sleepless nights he'd had thinking about what it would be like to be with Jordan couldn't even touch the real thing.
Jordan's hands on his chest pushing him back pulled Woody out of his memorizations of the curve of her hips the smoothness of her skin. She reached down to pull the undershirt up and over his head, tossing it aside and stroking her hands back over the rippled muscles of his chest and abdomen, playfully jabbing into his navel as she smiled and finally raising her eyes to his as her pointer finger trailed down the coarse line of hair disappearing down below the generic blue boxers he wore.
With the last dregs of conscious thought Woody had he tasted the wine on her breath and remembered that Jordan was a little drunk and so was he.
"Jordan?...Jordan wait….oh God.." he moaned when she reached down into his shorts. "Wait!" he said sitting up quickly. "We shouldn't do this right now….we're both a little drunk and well, personally I wanna remember all of this tomorrow and and…you know neither of us can regret this if we know we're sober when…this..happens…" he smiled softly. "We're together now. We made that decision…I think we should wait until we're both with it before this happens…I'm sorry if that sounds silly or whatever b…" Jordan cut him off with a soft kiss as she sat up and smiled at him.
"Wow, I think we're agreeing on something…this IS an occasion I want to remember." She said with a quick wink and kissed him again softly. "Thank you Woody…for everything." She whispered and touched his cheek.
"Is it okay if I slept here…with you?" she asked softly looking up into his eyes. Woody knew that if it was a lot for Jordan to sleep with another person for sex, it must be just as hard for her to spend the night all night in bed with someone.
"Of course it is..come on." Woody said smiling at her softly. He slid back to the pillows and pushed the covers down beckoning Jordan to join him under the covers. "Come here you." He smiled and Jordan climbed in with him and let Woody wrap her in his arms.
"Good night Jordan." He whispered against her ear.
"I love you Woody." Jordan whispered back and wrapped her arms around his torso.
