Chapter Seventeen

Night had fallen when Darry and I climbed into the cab of the truck on our way home from the police station. Despite doctors urging me to go home and rest the police insisted they needed to meet with me. Everyone agreed it was in the family's best interest to cooperate.

Darry and I didn't speak on the ride home, but occasionally he would reach over and rub the side of my arm with the back of his hand. I appreciated him letting me know he was there for me even though he couldn't find the words to say it. At the station the police officers hadn't let my brother be present while I recounted the tragic minutes. On more than one occasion I couldn't help but fall to pieces. The whole ordeal was emotionally and physically draining for me.

When we pulled up outside the house Sodapop and Ponyboy ran out to greet me. When Darry and I had left the hospital both of them were angry that they couldn't come to the police station. Soda pulled my truck door open. "Hey Sissy." He said softly. "How'd it go?"

The strong Oklahoma winds blew my hair around and I shrugged my shoulders. Darry walked around the front of the truck. "Did Two-Bit find out how Casey is doing?"

Soda threw his arms around me. "Not really. She made it through surgery ok, but they told him to go home because they wouldn't know anymore until the morning." Soda pulled me close to him with one arm and kissed the side of my head. "We better get you inside and out of this cold air." I could tell he was hogging me from being with Ponyboy because my twin was standing next to us with his hands jammed in his pockets and anxiously rocking back and forth. Soda didn't care though.

As we started to walk inside Ponyboy saw a free spot on my left hand side and he moved close, threw his arm around me and we all walked in together. We sat down on the couch and Ponyboy looked up at Darry. "Did they catch the guy yet?"

"No," Darry said, "but they are going to have his description in the paper tomorrow and they have said it on the radio so they are hoping to find him soon."

Ponyboy looked in my direction and noticed me staring at my shoes He could sense my fear over the man still being free. Pony knew deep down how scared I really was. He looked at me and curled his lip a little. "Don't worry none Scout. We aint gonna let nothing happen to you." I tried to believe him, but the fact is the world is a big place and you never know when or where trouble will find you. I had learned that first hand, on more than one occasion.

Darry collapsed into Dad's chair as Soda looked over at me with a nervous glance. "Sissy? I know you…" Sodapop licked his lips. "I just have been wondering…"

I understood they had a need to know what I had been through so I interrupted him. "Casey and I were sitting on the floor drying our nails when we heard a car pull up outside…" When I had finished the recount of events my brothers asked a few questions and told me about hearing the shots and thinking it was Johnny's parents.

Sodapop then took the time to mother me. "Well the docs said you needed your rest and you aint had none since we left the hospital so let's get you off to bed." Then he pulled me off the couch. "I'll rub your back tonight and stay with you till you fall asleep. How's that sound?"

I thought about sleep, I really hoped I could. "Sure, that sounds fine So." We walked to my room and I noticed the time on my clock. It was nearly eleven thirty as I climbed into bed.

Sodapop sat by my side and whispered. "Scout I learned something today."

I yawned. "What's that Soda?"

"That I shouldn't have been mad at you for what you did with that boy." I thought about Danny and then the fight that Sodapop and I had gotten into only 24 hours earlier. Sodapop rambled on. "If something would have happened to you… I just… I may have never had the chance to say I'm sorry for yelling at you." Soda leaned close to my ear and whispered. "I am you know… sorry that is."

"It's ok Soda, I'm sorry too."

Sodapop hugged me and told me he would sleep in the other bed that night if I wanted him too. I thought about Ponyboy and the nightmares he might have if Soda wasn't there with him. No one needed to deal with that tonight. "No Soda, I'll be fine." Soda accepted my decision and rubbed my back until he was sleepy himself.

A while later he whispered. "Sissy? Sissy you sleeping?" I wasn't but I didn't want my brother to stay awake any longer so I didn't say a word. Soda left the room and I heard him climb into bed where Ponyboy was already sleeping.

I laid in bed and stared into the hallway that was illuminated by the kitchen light. I listened to Darry pitter-pattering around in his bare feet. A few minutes later the hallway went dark as Darry headed off to bed.

The darkness took away my sight and my hearing was drawn to the wind outside. The rustling of leaves, the window panes knocking back and forth in their frames. My mind wandered to the doors of our house, unlocked. I tried to shake the idea from my head that Duke would return to the neighborhood to find me. I tried to convince myself to just close my eyes and drift off into sleep where everything would be fine, but I couldn't.

The night was cool and I wiggled under my covers to hide from the unknown. I looked over at the rattling windows. Then I heard a noise I recognized, the front door. I listened for Johnny or Dallas or Steve to kick off their shoes and plop down onto the couch or onto the spare bed, nothing.

The wind continued to whip around as I heard heavy footsteps in the house. The steps made a clicking sound, just like cowboy boots. I stared at my open bedroom door and wished the sound away. It didn't go. The noise moved its way through the kitchen and down the hall.

I didn't dare speak for fear that he would find me, for fear that he would kill me. My eyes grew large as I peeked out from under my sheet. I wanted to yell for help, but figured it would do no good. As the moonlight from my bedroom windows illuminated the doorway I held my breath.

In a moment the figure of my fears appeared. His hat still on, his gun in his hand. I saw the barrel, black and deadly, as he raised it up one last time.

No no no! I thought. I sat up straight in my bed and coward to the corner. I opened my mouth to scream, but found myself speechless. I heard the gun cock and dove to the floor.

As my body hit the wooden planks I looked up into the doorway and saw nothing. I began to tremble and realized I had been sleeping and Duke hadn't been there at all. I turned and looked at the time on my clock, one fifteen. I crawled back in bed, but could no longer rest. I spent minutes thinking what if Duke did come looking for me?

After a dozen minutes I had scared myself so bad with my own torturous thoughts that I couldn't stand to be alone in my room any longer. I grabbed my pillow and quilt and decided to sleep with Pony and Soda. I shuffled my bare feet across the wooden floor and tried to climb into bed with my brothers, but there was no room for a third person in the double bed.

I needed to find someplace safer. I walked down the hall dragging my quilt behind me. I eyed the spare bed outside of Darry's bedroom as the wind shook the windows again and made me jump. I stood in my old bedroom and eyed the unlocked front door. I knew I could never lock out the gang and the bedroom was now to exposed to the rest of the house for my own comfort.

I needed to sleep, I needed to feel safe. Quietly I turned around and put my hand on the door knob to Darry's room. What would he say if I slept in his room? Would he be mad? Would he send me back to my own room?

Without a sound I turned the knob, stepped into the room and shut the door. I looked at Darry through the darkness. He looked exactly like my dad and in a selfish moment I wish he had been. I wished I could trade Darry to God for just one of my parents. Guilt then consumed me as I walked around to the opposite side of Darry's bed and plopped down onto the hard wood floor with my pillow and quilt. I wrapped up in my blanket and scooted under the bed as far as I could. As I laid there, half hidden, I prayed again to God to forgive me for my thoughts and to protect my brothers. In the safety of Darry's bedroom I closed my eyes and much needed sleep consumed me.

Hours later Darry finally couldn't resist waking up as the late morning sun shone into his room. He rolled over to the edge of his bed away from the door and lowered a foot to the ground.

"What the?" He called out as he felt something lumpy on the floor. Darry pulled his foot back up and leaned over the edge of his bed. Noticing my quilt he reached down and gave my sleeping body a shake. "Scout? Scout what are you doing in here?"

I looked up at my brother, his usually neat hair now tussled. "I was scared."

"Scared of what?" Darry slightly barked then his facial expression showed that for the second when he spoke he had forgotten all about the incident. "Oh." He answered his own question. "Don't be scared Sissy. He aint coming back around here."

I sat up. "Darry we don't know that. He said he didn't want me to tell, and when the paper comes out today…he's gonna know I told." I stared at Darry with my big blue eyes.

Darry didn't know what to say. After not being there when I was jumped by the socs and not being able to do anything about the shooting Darry knew he wasn't able to make the promises I needed to hear. Out of frustration he threw his head back into his pillows where I couldn't see him. Then a knock came at the front door. My brother jumped to his feet, threw on his jeans and headed out to the living room, his muscles defensive.

I slinked my way across the bed then out to the doorway of my old room. I watched as the front door was pushed open and a young lady called out softly. "Hello? Is anybody…."

Darry and Kathryn met face to face and I could see the tension melt away from Darry's demeanor. "Kathryn! What are you doing here?" Darry hugged her and she looked past him to the vacant living and dining room.

"I read in the paper about Scout." Kathryn was dressed in a pink tweed skirt and a soft pink sweater to match. Her face was flush and full of concern. "Darry, is she alright?"

I stepped out into the dining room and forced a smile. "Yeah I'm fine."

"Oh you poor thing!" Kathryn ran over and hugged me harder than I think she hugged my brother. "I read about it in the paper. It must have been horrible! I just had to stop by to see you were ok." She caressed my hair and noticed the bandage around my neck. "I want you to know that my father wants to help you in anyway he can."

"We already talked to the cops." Darry said as he walked to his room to get a clean shirt to put on in front of company.

Kathryn let go of me and trailed behind my brother. "Well she should still talk to him. His office will probably be handling this case anyway." Darry said something I couldn't hear and Kathryn answered back. The couple then walked out of the room together as a car horn sounded outside. Kathryn looked at Darry. "I can't stay, my social club is meeting to put together the fall dance and then I need to return to school for the week." Kathryn frowned at first then looked coyly at my brother and sighed a fake heavy sigh. "You know I am planning this dance and no one has asked me to go."

Darry laughed a little. "I doubt that! I bet you just haven't been accepting anyone's invitations."

Kathryn huffed a little. "Well there is still one invitation I haven't received yet! I'm holding out." The young woman looked deep into Darry's eyes but he didn't extend any sort of invitation she may have been waiting for. "My mother sent some things over for your family. I'll go and get them from the car." Kathryn trotted out the door and down the steps.

I grinned over at Darry. "Why don't you ask her to that dance?"

"Cause it's expensive that's why!" Darry shot back as he looked out the window to find out what Kathryn was bringing in. "Besides I've told both of you, I am just too busy to have a girl to worry about." Then Darry looked back at me and I knew how much of a burden my latest incident would be on him. I also knew how everyone expected him to be perfect and always have the right answers. That alone created a stress no one else in the house could fully comprehend.

Kathryn burst in the door with a large paper bag full of homemade bread, jams and a case of Pepsi. "I remembered Ponyboy loved Pepsi." Kathryn smiled and handed a folded newspaper to Darry. I think she wanted him to preview it before I had a chance to see it. The young lady walked over to me and delicately grabbed my chin. "You let me or my family know if you need anything, understand?"

"I will." I said even though I knew I would never have the courage to ask her father for anything.

Kathryn and Darry exchanged a quick kiss and she sighed that she wished she could stay and help out. The car horn honked again signaling her carload of impatient friends were ready to move on to better things then sitting out front of our small and simple home.

Once she was gone I reached for the newspaper, but Darry held it over his head. "Nah uh Scout, I don't think it's such a good idea."

"Come on Darry I'll be fine!"

"Fine? Like sleeping on my floor fine?" Darry tried to be funny and serious at the same time.

I rolled my eyes and followed Darry to Dad's chair. I didn't think I could feel any worse by reading the article so I read over Darry's shoulder. As he unfolded the newspaper I noticed a hand drawn picture of Duke on the front page. "That's him." I muttered. Together we read the article and noticed that Casey's condition was not mentioned. I looked over at my brother. "I can go and see her today, right."

"Sure Sissy." Darry closed up the paper. "I'll take you there this morning if you want to get ready." I didn't waste anytime getting dressed and ready to go.

I walked alone down the hospital hallway to the door of Casey's room. Slowly I pushed it open to find my once jubilant friend lying there pale and still. A lump formed in my throat and my heart began to pound as I walked up to the side of her bed. I stammered. "Case … Casey?"

Immediately her eyes popped open and a weak smile formed across her face. She could only muster a weak whisper. "Scout, I'm glad you came."

I couldn't hold back my tears of joy to hear her speak my name. To me it was a miracle that she was still alive. "Casey are you going to be ok?"

Casey smiled again and whispered. "Yeah, the docs say I'll be fine in a few weeks."

"I can't wait for you to come home." I smiled and tried to make her laugh. "The neighborhood has been awfully quiet without you."

She did laugh a little. "My mom was able to visit me this morning. My grandparents want us to go back to New Mexico. Mom's moving back right away," the news saddened me as I listened to her struggle with the words, "she doesn't want to be alone anymore."

"But … what about you." I frowned and my tears of joy began to mix with my feelings of sorrow.

"There gonna move me to New Mexico in an ambulance at the end of the week."

I sniffled and wiped my eyes. "Casey I don't want you to go. You're my best friend."

Casey's dry lips cracked a smile. "I'll always be your best friend Scout. I'll just be a few more blocks away."

I laughed on purpose just to make her feel good. Truth was, inside I felt like she was gone forever and life would never be like it was before. I was losing my friend and was going to be alone again. I hated feeling alone.