TIMELESS
Standard Disclaimers Apply
WARNING: Major OOCness
***CHAPTER 8***
The words hit Kaoru with the force of a lead pipe, knocking the breath from her. "You killed her?" she mumbled.
"I'm the one who took her happiness away, and I'm also the one who took her life. Had I not…" His voice trailed off as he clenched his eyes shut. She thought she could feel his pain radiating from him like an aura.
"What?" she asked. "What happened?"
"I tampered with my destiny and hers, and in the end the gods punished me for it."
Kaoru wouldn't let it go at that. "How did she die?"
"I went mad when I learned she betrayed me. But it wasn't her fault. I'm the one to be blame in the first place." Kenshin buried his face in his hands as memories tore through him. "I was a fool to even believe someone could love me. A killer. A shadow assassin."
Kaoru reached up and brushed a gentle hand across his face. He stared at her. She was so beautiful standing there. The tenderness in her gaze amazed him. No woman had ever looked at him that way.
Not even Tomoe. There had always been something missing when his wife looked at him. Something missing from her touch.
Kaoru's gaze fell down to his wrist. She reached out and closed her hand over it, meeting his gaze. "I can't imagine what you must have suffered all this time."
There was nothing worse than having someone love and care for you, then losing them to a needless accident.
She'd been arrogant enough to think she was grown, and capable of standing strong against anything life hurled at her. She had thought herself invincible, and in one split second, her life had come crumbling down around her.
Her parent's death had robbed her of everything she'd ever had. Her security, her faith, her sense of justice, but most of all, she had lost their devoted love and emotional support.
In spite of her youthful vanity, she hadn't been prepared to be cast completely adrift without any family whatsoever.
She knew and understood what Kenshin was feeling.
The redhead swallowed hard before he spoke again. "As an assassin, I was relentless in battle. I can still see the horror-stricken eyes of the men who perished under my sword as I hacked them to pieces without the tiniest bit of remorse."
When he was an assassin he had lived without emotions. Lived without speaking more than a handful of words.
He had gone into survival mode. And he had lost himself to it.
Until Tomoe had reached out and found the human side of him.
Kaoru watched a myriad of emotions cross Kenshin's face. Anger, confusion, horror, and finally agony.
"Kenshin—"
Shaking his head, he stepped away from her grasp. "No!" He raked his hand through his hair. "Leave me alone."
Kaoru ground her teeth, wanting to strangle him. "Talk to me, Kenshin. Let me help you."
"I said leave me alone, Kaoru," he snapped.
"You're one uptight dude, Kenshin. Is that a building block of your philosophy? Thou shalt be the most uptight dude on the planet?"
The look he shot her was withering, but he didn't walk away. "Didn't your parents teach you to butt out of other people's lives unless they ask you for advice?"
She didn't take offense. She simply smiled at him. "I live to interfere."
He sneered. "Spare me the sympathy. I don't need a lecture from a girl who refuses to grow up."
"Gotcha. All sympathy retracted."
He looked hostile and unhappy. "I just want to get one thing straight. I don't need anybody's pity, especially yours."
"I don't pity you, exactly. You're too self-reliant for pity. But knowing that you lost your wife makes me feel sick."
He looked at her with eyes that were as cold as a stranger's. "I'm so touched I'm getting tears in my eyes," his voice dripping with sarcasm.
Kaoru shook her head. "You're weak."
The words cut. "That's bullshit! I'm as tough as they come, lady, and don't you forget it."
"Yeah, you're tough on the outside, but on the inside you're so soft you squish, and you're every bit as scared of screwing up your life as I am."
"There's nothing screwed up about me. Or at least, there wasn't until I met you."
Kaoru took a slow breath too cool off.
"Have you ever let anyone close to you, Kenshin? I bet you've always been one of those men who trusted no one near your heart. One of those guys who would rather have his tongue cut out than actually let anyone know you're anything but impervious. Were you like that with Tomoe?"
Kenshin looked away as memories poured through him. Memories of a childhood spent in hunger and deprivation. Memories of nights spent in agony of…
"Yes," he said simply. "I was always alone."
Kaoru felt for him. But she couldn't let him give up. Somehow she would find a way to reach him.
He looked so lost. Like someone caught between dreams and reality. It made him looked naïve. But he was a man who had lost his wife, she reminded herself. She didn't know if experiences like that could leave a man with much naiveté.
She cupped her hands around his face, and gave him a hard stare. "Don't you dare give up. You said you weren't afraid in battle, then how can you be afraid of this?"
"I just am."
Something strange happened then as Kaoru realized he had let her inside him. Not very deep, but she could tell by his face that he had made himself vulnerable to her by admitting that. She knew in her heart that he wasn't the kind of man who often made such admissions. Under the layers of grim stubbornness, there was a man with strengths and vulnerabilities like any man. If she could learn more about him, she could be a better friend to him. To her way of thinking, both of them needed all the friends they could get. "I will help you."
The doubt
in those violet eyes twisted her gut. "Why?"
"We're friends," she said gently.
"I don't have any friends."
"You do
now."
He leaned down and kissed her forehead, then pulled her against him into a tight hug. The warm scent of sandalwood filled her head as she listened to his heart beating fiercely under her cheek. His tender embrace went deeper than just a momentary physical gesture, it touched her profoundly.
Kaoru hummed a little tune as she cleared their cabin. She glanced out the doorway to watch Kenshin's skinny form at work down by the river, and she smiled. It gave her pleasure to see his sure movements, the way sun glinted in his red hair, the way his clothing molded to his body. The odd feeling began to rise again in her and she looked away. Lately, the sound of his voice or an unexpected glimpse of him had started her pulse racing and made her feel giddy inside.
For a long time now she had been aware of her changing feelings toward Kenshin. She had first admired him, and then liked him. She enjoyed sparring with him. But despite their usual banter, she sensed a growing affection between them. If he were to leave her now, his absence would deeply wound her soul. This knowledge was not reassuring. Not that he showed any sign of wanting to leave her, but he also showed no indication of wanting her to be more than just a friend.
Often when she was busy washing dishes or tidying the cabin, she felt his gaze upon her and would look up as he was lowering his eyes. At other times when he was unaware that she was watching him, she noticed his expression seemed strained as though he were weighing a monumental decision, or so she hoped. Once she was almost certain he called out her name in his sleep, but when she asked him about it the next day, he had snapped that he had had no dreams at all, none at all. Although he stated firmly and often that he was pleased with their friendship and wanted nothing more, every sign showed her that he was becoming more and more fond of her—she hesitated to even consider it might be love. It was very perplexing.
As she wiped the table clean, she wondered at the eccentricities of men. To her, it seemed so simple. She loved Kenshin and maybe he loved her, so why build a barrier between them. Was it because of Tomoe or his past? She sighed. It boggles the mind.
Suddenly, a squeak halted her thoughts in frozen silence. Slowly she turned her head toward the door.
A mouse, looking most uneasy itself, was trapped in the doorway. Its tail was caught between the cracks. Kaoru froze as waves of fear tore through her. She hated those abominable creatures!
With no apparent way out, Kaoru acted instinctively. With a loud cry, she grabbed a rusted sword that was resting in the corner and ran directly at the mouse. The poor creature was so terrified of a woman screaming like a banshee and wielding a rusty sword that it managed to free itself and ran. Kaoru chased after it out the door and then threw the sword at it as hard as she could. It missed by a wide margin, but as it clattered harmlessly on the rock-strewn ground, the mouse increased its speed and raced for the woods.
At the first sounds of trouble, Kenshin had started running to Kaoru's aid and was halfway to the cabin before he heard the second scream. He stopped abruptly as a tiny mouse bolted from the cabin, and his jaw dropped in amazement as Kaoru threw the sword after it. Seeing she was no longer in danger, he calmly strode to the sword and picked it up. The hilt was broken half off. He turned it over to inspect the other side as he walked to where Kaoru was leaning weakly against the cabin door.
"Hunting?" he asked casually, a gleam of laughter in his eyes.
She glared at him, still trembling inside.
"You dropped your sword," he said politely as he offered it to her.
Kaoru snatched it from him and considered throwing it at him next. Kenshin looked in the direction the mouse had taken. "Your weapon seems to pull to the right a bit," he said, keeping his voice even with an effort. "Next time aim more to the left and go for his ears."
"Very funny. Aren't' you even concerned that he might have attacked me?" she demanded.
"Nope. He was running too fast to take time to bite." The suppressed grin spread across his face. "Poor little mousy. You shouldn't attack helpless creatures like that."
Kaoru waved the sword under his nose. "One more word and I'll go for you next!" His levity had eased her fear considerably.
He laughed. "You should have gotten something more your own size."
"Sugar," Kaoru drawled, stroking a finger over the hilt of the sword as she sent him a sultry look, "When you're grabbing a man's phallic symbols, you've got to go for the biggest ones, else what's the point?"
Kenshin narrowed his eyes. "I'll bet that's your philosophy in life."
"You know me very well."
Kenshin laughed. "Boy, you're something else. Do they raise all the women in your time like you?"
"Naw," she drawled. "I'm unique. You'll never find someone like me. An ass-kicking girl with a great fashion sense."
"I'll bet." He chucked. He couldn't help but be charmed by her antics. He felt guilty knowing he just lost another part of Tomoe. Maybe the worst part was how much he loved being with Kaoru. She was noisy and demanding, funny and passionate.
And she'd made him forget the wife of his soul.
What made Kaoru unique? He didn't know for sure. But part of it was her vitality, the way the very air around her seemed to crackle with life. She was just special. A pure heart in a world populated by selfish ones. He'd never thought to encounter anyone like her.
"So future girl, you want to go into town with me tomorrow to pick up some supplies?"
Kaoru regarded him before answering. "You're not going to wear that girly pink gi, are you? I refuse to be seen in public with you."
"And what's wrong with it? My gi happens to be unique."
Kaoru snorted. "It's unique, all right. It's the only one ever turned down by the thrift shop people. It's an utter disgrace." She haughtily tossed her head. "Men! What do they know about haute couture?"
Kenshin was puzzled. "Haute…? Whatever. By the way, it's magenta not pink, and it's not girly!"
"If you say so," Kaoru began inspecting her nail polish for chips.
"Alright, if you don't like my magenta gi, I can always wear the orange one."
Her expression was a mixture of horror and disgust.
"Orange? What the hell…?" Kaoru positively choked.
His mouth quirked, "Your choice."
"I love the magenta gi!" she gushed. "It's so manly and sexy."
He threw back his head and laughed. "Thought so, I'm glad you see it my way."
Kaoru lifted her face to the heavens. "Please, God, don't strike this man with lightning, even though he deserves it."
Kenshin scowled at her. He was mad at Kaoru for making fun of him. He didn't find it humorous that she's asking the heavenly beings to strike him with lightning.
She noticed that Kenshin's doomsday scowl hadn't detracted one bit from those hearts-afire good looks.
She backed away from him. "Remind me never to piss you off. Oh, wait, I already did that."
"Do you think that's funny?"
"Oh, no."
She kept backing. "Not funny. Definitely not."
His eyebrows shot together. "And I hope you are not going to whine while we're in town."
Okay, time for some righteous indignation. "Really, Kenshin, don't you know that whining is a form of manipulation? People will give you anything to make you shut up." She shrugged. "And besides whining is fun."
His eyebrows shot up and his voice grew as soft as an assassin's footsteps. "No, Kaoru, whining is not fun. Whining is irritating, so stop whining!"
"Sounds boring."
"Sometimes
boring is good."
"Uh-huh." She tapped his chest. "You mean you're good?"
Oh, jeez, that made his eyes flashed fourteen different shades of mad.
"Don't you get cute with me!"
"What are you going to do, Kenshin? Spank me?"
"Maybe a bare-butt spanking is exactly what you need."
"Really?" She got this calculating look on her face. "Might be fun. I'll think about it."
He flashed an evil grin. "I don't think so." Before she knew what was happening, he'd dropped his shoulder, pushed it not gently against her stomach, and upended her.
"Upsey-daisy, sweetheart."
She found herself staring at the seat of his hakama. She began to feel dizzy and wasn't certain she could entirely blame it on the blood rushing to her head.
"Put me down this instant or I'll scream bloody murder."
Kenshin laughed. "Scream all you want, Kaoru. It turns me on."
Quick as a flash he ran to the river, and unceremoniously dumped her in. She was so astonished that she took a mouthful. "What are you doing?"
He smiled. "Getting even."
"No, you're trying to drown me!" she screamed.
His smile grew broader. "No, unfortunately that won't happen since you're a champion swimmer. You said so yourself."
"Of all the—"
"Besides, it's a great day to go swimming."
Kaoru's face grew crimson. "Not in my kimono!" she exploded. "All this material will take me straight to the bottom."
The redhead just shrugged. "At least you'll go in a stylish manner," he teased.
I'll kill him, she thought, dragging herself out of the water. I'll kill him and then I'll stomp on his corpse.
"Aren't you an absolute sugarplum," Kaoru said with false sweetness.
Kenshin had been called many things in his life, but he had never been called a sugarplum, and the appellation left him temporarily speechless, which might have been what she intended because she immediately swept past him.
Several weeks later as the rosy glow of late evening rapidly deepened through violet toward the inevitable sooty blackness, the two teenagers sat side-by-side outside the cabin.
"I love it here," she said as she leaned her head against his shoulder. "It is so peaceful."
He put his arm around her. "Your time holds a lot of wonderful things. Don't you miss your home?"
She drew a deep breath of the crisp, scented air. "After you live there awhile you don't notice it anymore. For me time was a burden. There was never enough of it. At home, I ran around breathlessly rushing toward impossible goals—and to that vague something out there. But here, time was full and generous. No one rushed. Each step was done with care. It was as if people in this era had uncovered a way to be in time, to be a part of time, to have a harmonious relation with time."
"Wow! That's so poetic. Did you inhale some opium lately?" Kenshin teased.
Kaoru gave a long-suffering sigh. "There is just no meeting of the minds with the older generation."
Eyes narrowing, Kenshin said. "One of these days I'm going to slap a piece of cloth right over that smart mouth of yours."
"Go ahead, punk. Make my day," Kaoru said doing a perfect imitation of Clint Eastwood's Dirty Harry role.
Kenshin threw back his head and laughed. "You amuse me, Kaoru." He tightened his arms about her. "I like knowing you," he said softly. "You're the best friend I ever had."
Kaoru turned her head to smile at him. "You're my best friend, too." But in her heart she longed for more than his friendship. She wanted his love.
As if he heard her thoughts, a veil of sadness deepened his eyes and he looked thoughtfully back toward the valley.
"Kaoru, I must ask you something."
"All right."
"Tell me
about the man who hurt you."
AUTHOR'S NOTES:
Before I go into hiding :LOL: I want to thank NightRain and Phèdre Nó Delauney for proof-reading my fic. Sorry for the lack of update on my fics. The year 2003 was just UGGGHHHH!!!! Hopefully, 2004 will be a better year for me. We're moving to our new house and I have a lot of packing to do, so I don't know when I'll be able to update again. You all don't have to worry coz' I'll definitely finish all my stories. THANKS TO ALL OF YOU!!! ADVANCE HAPPY VALENTINES DAY!!!
