AN: Same old same old... school, can't update as fast as I want to. And of course, a reminder that this is a wip, so all the chapters might not flow right after each end. It might feel a bit choppy. Oh, well.
The walk back to the gate was long and torturous, Grace was unhappy, expressing herself with strong pair of lungs, and I was tired. The atmosphere around us could have poisoned any potential enemies. Jack walked far ahead, keeping to himself. From a distance, he looked normal, just doing his job, taking point. I walked behind him, giving some distance between us, staring at the back of his head. Daniel and Teal'c was behind me, and I could hear their thoughts as if we were mentally linked. Daniel was thinking about Grace, wondering who fathered the child, Jack or Ba'al. Teal'c is baffled on how I could live with him, and when I let Ba'al escape without a word, couldn't believe I enjoyed being in his company.
All very good questions, thoughts, beliefs, blah, blah. Conversations we will never have, answers they'll never hear.
Jack was feeling more betrayed now then ever. Out of all the snakes in the galaxy, I had to pick the one that tortured him to death over and over again. Of course, selfish as he is, he thought he was rescuing me, doing me a favor. And I threw it back in his face by sleeping with the enemy once again. For the second time, by his count anyway. I never slept with Barrett nor Ba'al. No, the only enemy I slept with was Jack.
A mistake I didn't believe it to be. No doubt he thought the child was Ba'al's.
Few questions of my own sprang about, and they all start with 'why.' Why did they suddenly have orders to bring me back? Why almost a year later? ...and ultimately, why did they give me up?
I've become to queen of self pity these days. I'd know, because I constantly think about my self. It's on and off. Like hormones or something. My life has turned into such a big blob of inconsistency. Hopefully it will all change when I get back to Earth.
Although, it could go so horribly wrong. I mean, it's not like the powers that be have made it easy for me lately. They could always bring me up with ridiculous charges. Again. Starting with, kidnapping a cat to an alien world, and being alive when processed paperwork says 'dead.' Oh, and I don't have a birth certificate for Grace... maybe they'll deny her Earth citizenship.
Finally, the gate. Dial it up Daniel! Let's see what awaits me behind that blue puddle.
I almost forgot what it felt like to walk into the wormhole. It was strange and tingly. And Grace wasn't thrilled about it. As soon as we emerged onto the other side her face crinkled up and she cried. Loudly. I looked around the gate room and shivered, it was cold and grey, stoney and hard. The air felt stale and fake, not fresh. I was back, underground, in the state of Colorado. I was back to rules, schemes, and distrust. I was lost, what was left for me? What was my future here?
"Major Carter, welcome back." I thought it was Ms. Carter. General Hammond, my you haven't changed a bit. I bet I have though. I'm at a lost for words, I don't know what to say and all I keep thinking is to why they brought me back. I didn't have to answer him though, because Grace's ability to clog everyone's ears have been put to use. She wasn't happy, and she wanted everyone to know that. "Looks like you got your hands full, head to the infirmary."
I nodded and walked, bouncing my daughter trying to calm her. Just as I was out of ear shot, I heard General Hammond speak again. And Jack's sharp reply.
"We have a lot of explaining to do. And some apologies I might add."
"So does she."
The doors on the elevators closed. It seems I was right, Jack wasn't going to let Ba'al's situation go. But things are going to be different, I could feel it. Karma has finally come back with a reward for me. If my assumption is right, and I hope to god it is, Berrett did it and cleared my name. Why else would I be brought back to Earth and why else would Hammond feel the need for apologies. It took long enough, but it's finally here. And this wasn't the time for Samantha Carter to be modest. This was time for payback. No, I'm not being childish or rash, this was redemption.
"Sam! Oh my god, Sam!" That would be Janet, I'd know her squeal anywhere. Plus, she'd be the only one that would be this excited to see me. And I was equally as excited to see her as well.
"Janet!" I let her give me a hug, not able to reciprocate the gesture with Grace in my arms. "I've missed you so much. You have no idea!"
"Oh, I don't know. Might have some." She looked at me and smiled. Then grinned. "Oh Sam, she's beautiful. What's her name?"
"Grace." I handed Grace to the good doctor, smiling warmly at her cute baffled look.
Janet rocked the baby, holding her lovingly. "I have a lot of catching up to do. I've missed so much."
"You're telling me." I sat on one of the cots, holding my arm out as one of the nurses came around silently drawing blood. "Do you have any idea what's going on?" I cleared my throat, making sure my last question didn't sound full of hope. "Have I been cleared of the charges?"
Right before the mystery unravelled from her mouth, we were interrupted. By O'Neill.
"All explained in due time Major."
"That's Miss, and I wasn't asking you."
"Well I'm answering Major." He rounded the corner and went to his on cot, receiving his exam followed by Daniel and Teal'c's respectfully. I glued my eyes to the floor as they walked by, refusing to open up opportunities for any conversation.
"Well Sam, you're done here and Grace is in good health. You could head to the VIP quarters and get some rest, there's also some BDU's if you want to change."
"Thanks, I guess I'll talk to you later."
"Of course."
Walking in the corridors were strangely familiar and distant at the same time. Grace was now tugging at my semi long hair with her little pudgy hands, demanding attention. She makes everything worth it. All the crap that happened, I'd go through it again, just to have my daughter. She was my constant source of love. I'd always love her, no matter what, and I'd know she'd love me.
I felt ridiculous that moment on Edorra when sg-1 came. A part of me wished that Ba'al was lying to me, so that I wouldn't have to believe sg-1 gave up my position. I actually didn't completely believe that to be true, until today, when they didn't deny it. I thought they had seen that I was innocent and came to save me, be my knight in shining armor.
I'd hoped Jack had an ounce of love for me. Just enough so I'd have the courage to tell him that Grace was his.
He doesn't, and he never will.
He never has and I'd been too blind to see it.
I reached my room, and got under the covers, not used to the chill of the base. I curled up in bed with Grace, and dreamed of a life with happy endings. Fresh flowers with breakfast, white picket fence, a dog, Grace with her siblings... and a husband. I'm a single mother, I'll be raising a child with no father. And it hit me.
I didn't have any money, a home, or a job.
I had nothing left for me here.
I'm now 'alive.'
And all my family things I'm dead. Executed for treason. Mark, Cindy, and the kids...
I heard a small sigh and looked down to see Grace. She had fallen asleep, one hand in her mouth, the other firmly clasped to my shirt. It'll get better. I know it will.
It has to.
