Child of the Emperor

A parody in the far, war torn future of the 41st Millennium

Fit the Third

'I am Inquisitor Josephine Aguilar, and you are a Heretic. Surrender immediately and you may be spared the Emperor's Mer-'
Marlus sighed. He was at the controls of a space station on the outskirts of the Reabe System, along with 5 Terminators and a worried recently turn coated Iron Warrior.
'Look, let me talk this over with Fulgrim. I'll-'
The Inquisitor laughed a hollow, short laugh. She was dark-skinned, her thin black hair tied into a tight bun behind her head. She wore her inquisitorial roseate at her throat.
'I laugh a short, hallow laugh at you, Heretic. You can not talk to your evil kin-'
'Oi! I'll tell him you said that.' Marlus shouted, angrily, pointing at the screen. 'I'm good mates with Ferrus, too. He'll give you a-'
'I know not what you are talking about.' Inquisitor Aguilar spat at Marlus. 'Fulgrim ran to the Eye of Terror along with the other traitor Emperor's Children-'
Marlus turned around on his swivel chair. He applied too much force and thus went the full way round before stopping facing Augoth, the worried, recently turn coated Iron Warrior.
'You didn't tell me that!'
'W-w-well,' Augoth stuttered 'there's a lot I haven't been able to tell you-'
'What, like Roboute Guilliman is in stasis, Corax has disappeared and all that is left of Rogal Dorn is his hands which has left the Imperial Fists taking part in strange rituals in which they burn off their flesh on their hands and write names on them?' Marlus said sarcastically, thinking of the most absurd things he could think of.
'How did you know?'
Marlus' eyes went wide in astonishment.
'All that has really happened?'
Augoth nodded. Marlus tried to laugh.
'And, what, the Dark Angels are wearing dresse-' He stopped. 'They are, aren't they?' He said flatly.
'Excuse me, if I'm not being rude,' the speakers of the control panel crackled. 'but I'm the Inquisitor here and I demand some respect!'
'Alright, alright' Marlus muttered, turning his swivel chair back around.
In her frustration, a strand of hair had fallen out of Inquisitor Aguilar's bun. She pushed it back.
'I have boarded your ship and your men and crew I have imprisoned. Those who showed resistance have been dealt and-'
She was interrupted by a cry. A seven foot tall Marine in pink and gold armour pushed past her. The next thing to go across the screen Marlus was watching was a scantly clad woman, welding a ridiculously big chain sword.
'Come back here, you wuss!' She screamed.
'Keep that psycho away from me!' was the answering shout.
Inquisitor Aguilar groaned and turned back towards Marlus.
'Anyway, come back to the ship or I'll have to send some troops over to capture you... Erm... you disgusting heretic and traitor of the Emperor.' She added lazily, realising that she wasn't being mean enough.

Augoth explained the Inquisition on the shuttle back the Battle Barge Obliviscaris. It was a small vessel, and thus the Marines were squashed in. Augoth was practically hidden behind the bulky armour of the Terminators, and had to push a shoulder plate out of the way as he explained about the various changes which had happened since Marlus and his Space Marines had travelled through the Warp. Asereobaes, a Marine of Marlus' retinue, stared out of one of the space ships windows and spied the Strike Cruiser of the Sisters of Battle, docked next to the Obliviscaris. A scratch on the Battle Barge's paint work was evidence of a missile shot from the space station while it was, shortly, under the control of the Iron Warriors. It was still very impressive as it cast its shadow over the Strike Cruiser.
'Whose is that?' He asked, interrupting Augoth as he explained that Lord Karamazov's Throne of Judgement isn't a walking toilet.
'Oh, the Sisters of Battle. They are the military force of the Ordo Hereticus, as the Deathwatch is the force of the Alienhunters and the Grey Knights are that of the Daemonhunters.'
Marlus started to say something before Augoth interrupted him.
'Although you're not meant to know about the Grey Knights because of daemons and stuff, so don't mention them.'
'I stil-'
'Don't mention daemons at all, in fact. They don't like people knowing about them.'
'Ok, but why all this secrecy?'
'I don't know. I guess the system isn't as efficient now. I mean, look at me. I've been around for over 10,000 years and I've still haven't been killed.'
There was nodding and murmuring from the riders of the shuttle.

Marlus ducked through the entry-gate from the shuttle and onto the Obliviscaris. He was met by a squad of 10 Celestians, who signalled for him to follow them. Augoth and Marlus' retinue followed. They walked to the control room of the ship, passing various members of the crew and Space Marines who were being chased by more of those women with over-sized chain swords who, in turn, were quickly followed by a Sister of Battle, armed with a whip, who was trying to stop the chase. The Celestians just walked on, as if nothing was happening, and Marlus, Augoth, and the Terminators just gave looks at each other and followed the Celestians.

Only Augoth and Marlus were allowed into the control room. The Sisters of Battle had replaced the crew with surplus members of their own vessel. A crew man briefly talked with a figure in the middle of the room before going back to his seat and typing something into the computer. The figure turned around, revealing that she was Inquisitor Aguilar. She was obviously flustered
'How, in the name of the Emperor, have been able to set this vessel up like this?' She asked, frowning.
Marlus looked at her in bewilderment, an eyebrow raised.
'Like what?'
She pointed at the computer the banks.
'All these are saying that the date is before the Heresy!'
She stamped her foot and her arms fell to her sides as she huffed.
'I mean, the operating system-'
A loud siren interrupted her.
'Self destruction in twenty seconds and counting.' An artificial voice called out.
Everyone in the room stood up to run out or started trying to stop the count down. Except Marlus.
'Fifteen seconds and counting.'
'Argh!' Inquisitor Aguilar screamed. 'It's a trap!'
Augoth grabbed onto Marlus.
'Ten seconds and counting.'
Marlus plodded over to a computer bank, Augoth still hanging on his leg.
'Five seconds and counting.'
He kicked it, leaving a large dent in its casing. The countdown voice slurred to a stop. The lights cut out and then, one by one, switched back on.
'Sorry,' Marlus called out. 'It does that sometimes. It's a problem we've never been able to sort out since she rammed an Eldar cruiser-type ship.'
'She?' Inquisitor Aguilar asked.
'The ship.' Marlus said flatly. 'You know how a ship is referred to as "she", right.'
'Oh, right.' She put another strand of hair back into its bun. She cleared her throat and pulled herself together. Augoth stood up and brushed himself off.
'You are here because I declare you a heretic.' She held out a scroll, which Marlus took and read. She switched to High Gothic.
'Captain Marlus, of the Emperor's Children, in fealty to the God-Emperor, our undying lord, and by the grace of the Golden Throne, in the name of the Ordo Hereticus and the Inquisition, I call thee diabolus and in the testimony of thy crimes, I submit this carta. May Imperial justice-'
'What are you doing?' Marlus asked, rolling the scroll back up.
'I'm declaring you a heretic. You have to talk in High Gothic to do it properly.'
'You aren't talking High Gothic.'
'Yes I am!'
'No, you're just saying "thy" and "thee" a lot.'
Inquisitor Aguilar looked down at her feet and mumbled something.
'What was that?' Marlus asked.
'I didn't finish "High Gothic 101".'
She looked back up.
'That doesn't matter.' She said. 'You are a heretic, take him-'
'No, I'm not.'
'Yes, you are.'
'I'm not.'
'You are.'
'Not!'
'Are!'
'Not!'
'Are!'
'Not!'
Inquisitor Aguilar paused, as she could see that this wasn't getting anywhere.
'Then why are you walking around with this Iron Warrior?' She pointed to Augoth.
'Well, he seems okay to me.' He slapped Augoth's back, a little too hard. Augoth fell to the floor.
'Sorry.' Marlus mumbled, as he helped Augoth back up.
He looked back up to the Inquisitor.
'Anyway, we are still loyal to the Emperor. No matter what you've heard.'
'What?' Inquisitor Aguilar shouted. 'You wear the symbols of a Traitor Legion and you wear the colours, even though you have the slightly altered pre-heresy colours!'
'So thus we are from before the heresy and weren't effected by Horus.' Marlus pointed out.
'Except him,' he pointed to Augoth. 'but he's alright.'
'And I wasn't even at the Siege of Terra, honest.' Augoth said, hiding behind Marlus.
The crew started coming back into the room again, followed by Sisters of Battle. They pointed their bolters at Marlus and Augoth.
Inquisitor Aguilar had turned her back to them.
'Put them down.' She ordered. She turned back round to Marlus, her hand on her chin.
'You are still loyal to the Emperor and the Golden Throne?'
'Yes.' Marlus answered. Augoth nodded furiously, trying to stay behind Marlus and out of the firing line of both Inquisitor Aguilar and the Sisters of Battle.
'I have a task for you to prove it, then. Fakanthulau is in fact the second in command to a higher Chaos Lord. We need a Space Marine force to tackle a fortress they have built on a world, a day or two of warp travel from here. You and your Marines will make up that force if you want to be forgiven.'
'Forgiven for what?' Marlus asked, but Inquisitor Aguilar shot him an annoyed glance. He raised his hands.
'All right, all right.' He sighed. 'What men can I use?'
'We've gathered your Marines in the Drop Pod area of the Ship. Follow me.'

In the loading area of the Drop Pods, the forces of the still loyal Emperor's Children had gathered. Marlus saw the damaged the Warp Storm had done; many of his Marines had fallen into a sort of coma, as he saw one of Inquisitor Aguilar's medics try slapping a sleeping Marine's face as all other methods had failed. To the medic's surprise, the Marine work up with a start.'Wha' happened?' He asked, his speech slurred with tiredness.
As Marlus and Inquisitor Aguilar walked down the path of destruction they saw a Space Marine trying to start his bike up with some quickly thrown together jumper-cables and a Dreadnought re-enacting "I'm A Little Teapot".
'I'm a little teapot, short and stout.' its ancient voice intoned.
'Here's my handle.' The ground shook as it hopped and lifted its las-cannon.
'Here's my spout.' Its close combat weapon lifted up and it hopped again. A Space Marine Scout lost his footing while walking nearby.
Several tech-priests were struggling with the massive beast of a machine. One of them was holding onto the "spout", his legs flailing several metres from the floor.
'-pick me and pour me out.' The Dreadnought leaned over, the priest falling from the "spout" with a shout.
A land speeder's Anti-Grav Engine had been altered some how during the Warp travel. Several figures, both tech-priest, Marine and Sister of Battle, were trying to get it down from the ceiling. One of them was prodding the dash board with the handle of a broom.
'Right, I've seen enough.' Marlus growled. His once perfect Space Marines have been seriously damaged. 'Gather all my men who are fit for battle.'

The room the strategists were in was dimmed, a green light coming from a holo-pict generator. It was currently showing a picture of the world the Iron Warriors had taken.
'Servitor, focus onto the heretic fortress.' Inquisitor Aguilar commanded.
The picture zoomed closer to the planet and the fortress became visible. Everyone in the room gasped. Except Marlus and Augoth.
Marlus whistled.
'It's only a model.' Augoth mumbled.
The fortress was, for want of a better word, huge. In fact, it was bigger than huge. It spanned an entire continent. The black, spiked wall reached out across the world, a blotch on a once beautiful place. The rest of the world was covered in thick, multi coloured fumes, huge quarries pitting the landscape. The curves of the walls marched relentlessly across plains and mountains. It was miles of killing ground.
'Do you think the Chaos Lord is compensating for something?' Augoth chuckled. When no one else laughed, he cleared his throat.
'Wait, wait.' Marlus called out to a tech-priest, who was at the controls of the holo-pict generator. 'Pull out a bit. I want to see the whole of it as close as you can.
The tech-priest looked up to Aguilar. She nodded, grimly. The priest turned to his computer screen and the picture pulled out.
The kilometres of vast, black, sharp metal twisted and turned across the world. Through mountains and across the few lakes that hadn't been emptied it continued.
It spelled out "Up yours" in mile long letters, joint up letters.
'This is just the part of the fortress above the ground. We're sure of a vast citadel beneath the ground. We think it may even spell out another two sentences.' said Inquisitor Aguilar.
'How would we get in?' Marlus asked. A tactician, an elderly man with robotic legs, a robotic arm and a machine strap to his chest which printed out page upon page of green and white papers covered with ones and zeroes, turned to him.
'Well, there are heavy weapon supports every 10 yards, on the hour every hour shift changes, sensor alarms which sense unknown life forms-'
'I'll rephrase that,' Marlus interrupted. 'How can we get in?'
'There's an unlocked back door at the tip of the "r".' The tactician pointed the fortress and the view swirled. Got to ground level, travelled around the perimeter of the citadel and stopped once it got to a section of wall with an old wooden door on rusting hinges.
'Thank you. Can we get some sort of cannon fodder- I mean, Imperial Guard force to distract them while we sneak into the back?'
Inquisitor Aguilar sighed.
'You really are the "brave" astartes, aren't you'
'Just doing my job, mam.'

Marlus and Augoth walked down to the Drop Pod loading area. It had been cleared of all the men who would be useless in battle. A little over two hundred were ready for planet fall. Marlus called out for his second in command.
'Veteran Sergeant Gopha,' He called out.
'Right here, sir.' Said a voice beside him.
Marlus turned to his left.
'Apologises, I didn't realised it was you-' Marlus stopped.
Gopha was seven feet tall. He towered over his fellow Marines, even though he was just armoured in power armour, and had shot up the command structure to his great strength and courage.
'You have a-a-' Marlus stuttered.
Gopha held his storm bolter under his shoulder, his power sword in its scabbard.
'Erm... your... bionic?' Marlus guessed.
Gopha's already considerable chin had an extra centimetre of metal plating on it.
'What about it?' He asked. Even without terminator armour, he was as tall as Marlus.
'Oh, nothing,' Marlus shook his head. 'Nothing is wrong.'
He turned around to his troops again.
'All right, men-'
'NINJAS STRIKE IN THE NIGHT!' A voice screamed out.
Marlus ducked as several blurs blazed past him, several of them in the air or bouncing nimbly off walls.
'NINJAS HALT!' Shouted the blur that seemed to be leading them.
'Oh, Emperor's Teeth,' Marlus swore.
As the vibrating of the "ninjas" slowed down, their pink and gold scout armour could be seen and they identified as Space Marines Scouts.
'I thought we sorted out this problem out.' Gopha said.
The scouts looked around themselves, raised in martial poses, knifes held in hands. Marlus looked at the assembled over-stimulated scouts.
'Where's your sergeant?' He asked.
At that moment Scout Sergeant Kuramoto decided to drop down from the ceiling he was some how hanging onto. He lightly landed on the floor, barely making a sound, in front of Marlus.
'At your service, my lord.' He said bowing deep.
'No more ancient Terra vid-picts for you.' Marlus commented, casually pointing at him.
'Aww.' Kuramoto moaned. He slouched and walked to his squad.
'And get all the Sergeants to report to me for pre-battle meeting. If you do it quick enough, I'm sure I can get some of these "Jackie Chan" vid-picts from a dealer I know.' Marlus called after him.
At that Kuramoto took off to command his scouts. They soon disappeared into the crowd of Space Marines, many of the Space Marines ducking to floor as the scouts whizzed pass.
'Sonva-!' Gopha shouted as one passed over his head. Marlus turned to an Autosavant given to him by Inquisitor Aguilar.
'Reduce the sugar they get in their food.' He said. The savant typed this in a handheld computer.
The sergeants started gathering around them. Gopha looked around.
'Where is Linux?' He asked.
'Who?' Asked Marlus. A sergeant saluted, chain sword in hand, and did himself a hit to the head.
'Argh!' He shouted as he hit the ground.
Gopha and another sergeant leaned down and picked him up again.
'Er, sir, Tech-priest Linux is tending the Dreadnoughts, sir. He won't be available for the battle.' The sergeant said when some one had got a chair for him. Marlus clapped his hands together.
'Alright, we're going to attack the back door of an impregnable fortress with no heavy support. I'm sure we did this before. Didn't we attack an alien world armed with only rubber bands and tooth picks once?'
Everyone stood and looked thoughtful.
'Was that the Krug or the Laer?' A Marine shouted from the back.
'Wasn't it the Kork?'
The army of Marines broke out in debate of what alien races they had destroyed in mass genocide.
'Oi!' Marlus shouted, waving his arms about to bring the room back into silence. 'Someone go and switch the lights on and off.' Gopha walked to the light switch and flipped them on and off. The crowd stopped talking and turned their attention to Marlus.
'Alright, everybody in the pods. We're attacking traitors of the Emperor so I want to see a lot of zealous anger and general shouting. Mix some litanies in to it and call all of 'em heretics. Everybody sure on what they're doing? Well, let us get going!'

This fan-fiction is completely unofficial and in no way endorsed by Games Workshop Limited.
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Emperor's Grandchildren and all associated marks, names characters, illustrations and images are © James H (Except for the ones already © Games Workshop). This was downloaded from www.emperors-grandchildren.tk, the official website for the Emperor's Grandchildren Space Marines.