I randomly decided to type this for my friends and I. After I finished, they told me to put it online on so here I am! Oh, and my friends are Dana and Victoria, and My name is Erica, just so you know. (not that we are in the parody or anything like that) :)
and this isn't a substitute for the movie, although you can get a general idea. and if you havn't seen the movie, then you will not find this as funny as someone who has the movie memorized.
So, anyways,
Inuyasha the Movie 1: Affections Touching across time
IN 15 MINUTES!(or more…)
Creepy white wind fights equally creepy black wind inside the Sacred Jewel. We then get to see it shatter into +counts+ about 158 pieces. One of these shards go through a creepy forest and hits a tree…
Spawn of Tree+emerges+
Spawn of Tree: RAWHHH! I am a scary plot point! PHEAR ME!
(cough)Sailor Moon(cough) The moon reflects on the lake. Sesshy walks by. More vague plot points appear. A pretty (cough)butterfly(cough) moth flitters around.
Sesshy: What the hell?
Plot Point 1: We want your father's teeth
Sesshy: Why?
Plot Point 1: We are studying dentistry. HAND IT OVER!
Sesshy: ok. +hands over sword+
Director: CUT! You are supposed to fight them!
Take 2:
Plot Point 1+does a Baywatch on the water+
Plot Point 2+follows+
Sesshy+counts to the number 2+
Sesshy does the WWF smackdown on (cough)Ruri and Hari(cough) plot points.
Random Frog: Shouldn't have done that…I mean Rib bit…Rib bit…. That was convincing, right?
Spawn of Tree: Wrong fang bitches! Of course I already knew that but I decided to waste 38 seconds of film! Find the other one! The only one strong enough to break the curse that will be revealed at a later time is the Tetsusaiga!
Erica: That just might be vague enough to work…
Sota: Grandpa! Breakfast!
Grandpa: +hyperventilates+ Look! Pretty Flowers that have no significance in the movie whatsoever!
Sota: Cool! Screw Breakfast!
Kagome+burns frying pan+
She then runs outside with that huge yellow backpack (What else is in there?) and takes a trip to the department of backstory for all the people who have been living in a cave making action figures out of toe jam who couldn't watch Inuyasha.
People who have never seen Inuyasha: OMG! She jumped in the well! (These people will be called PWNSI from now on)
Inuyasha Fans: Duh, the well has a name…The Bone Eaters well!
PWNSI: OMG! Her bones are going to be eaten!
Erica: Can we move on please? I'm getting a headache…
In the Feudal Era:
Scary scorpion comes out of the ground.
Shippo: What is that+points+
Miroku: What+Scratches head+ Oh, a giant scorpion.
Sango: What's it doing here?
Inuyasha: It gives me something to fight so the music fits in with the scene. And it gets me a jewel shard to give Kagome to put in that bottle that never seems to get any fuller no matter how many episodes we go through.
Kagome climbs out of the well, and grabs her bike. How it got to the Feudal Era? Who knows? She then introduces the entire cast!
Shippo+Transforms into stone+
Sango+Throws big boomerang+
Miroku+Catches Sango when she falls+
Sango: Wow, thanks for catching me. If I died now that would totally screw up the story.
Miroku+gropes+
Sango+Smack+
Miroku-Sango Shippers: YAY!
Inuyasha and Kirara: Get a room or something.
Myoga: Kagome! I got scared so I found you! Go help Inuyasha!
Scorpion: +spits spit of acid doom+
Inuyasha: Stop spitting your spit of acid doom+gets smacked by scorpion+
Shippo: are you ok?
Inuyasha: Just having an off day….
Shippo: That's because you are useless without Kagome.
Inuyasha+stretches Shippo's face+
Kagome: I'm here after taking my sweet ass time!
Inuyasha: Kagome!
Sango: Kagome!
Miroku: Kagome!
Scorpion: Kagome!
Everyone+looks a scorpion+
Scorpion: What? I felt left out…
Inuyasha: Where were you?
Kagome: I made lunch.
Scorpion+charges+
Inuyasha+save Kagome+
Kag-Inu Shippers : YAY!
Erica: Let's count and see how often this happens, shall we? He saved her once so far…
Inuyasha: Are you ok, bitch?
Shippo: I'm fine thanks!
Inuyasha: ….
Scorpion: Ok, enough of this. +charges+ By the way, the sacred jewel shard in on my tail.
Inuyasha: Wave to the sword of doom….
Kagome: AHHHHH!
Inuyasha+saves Kagome+ (for the 2nd time in 2 seconds!)
Kag-Inu shippers: YAY!
Erica: The shippers are going to be yaying for a while…
Miroku: Wind Tunnel!
Scorpion+dies death+
Inuyasha+puts Kagome down+
Kag-Inu Shippers: YAY!
Erica: Give it a rest already, will ya?
Kagome: We did it!
Kirara+turns cute+
Scorpion+bubbles ominously+
Kagome: Do I have to?
Scorpion+still bubbling+
Inuyasha: Fine. Don't do it. We can end this movie right here and now.
Kagome+grabs shard+ Can't do that. The second movie makes this so worth it.
Scorpion+stops bubbling ominously+
Spawn of Tree: I see you….
Kagome: +lays out picnic+
Kagome's bike: +is beaten up+
Inuyasha: This doesn't look edible.
Kagome: Screw you! Eat the Damn food!
Shippo: +grabs food+
Inuyasha: +grabs the same food+
Awkward pause….
Inuyasha+Smacks Shippo+
Shippo+cries for mommy+
Miroku: Now, let Shippo have what he wants...+grabs food+
Shippo: +grabs same food+
Miroku+eats his words+
Inuyasha: RAMEN! Kagome, be a good girl and make me ramen.
Kagome: SIT times ten!
Inuyasha is facing his new favorite spot…the ground.
Kagome's Bike+cries in pain+
Kirara+whines for attention+ can I go betray you now?
Sango: Come back!
Kagome: I hate him…I'll never make him lunch again…he's sleeping on the couch tonight! Shit, did I say that out loud?
Kagome's bike: +falls over in pain+
Kagome: Stupid bike!
Kagome's bike: love you too, bitch.
Sango: OMG Kirara! You ran away!
Kirara: I hate Shipoo. I mean Shippo.
Ruri and Hari: We'll take the Kitty now.
Miroku: Will you bear my children?
Sango: No. I will. +smacks Miroku+
Miroku-Sango Shippers: YAY!
Ruri and Hari: +blows on leaf+attacks Sango with baby scorpions+
Erica+blows on leaf+ It just isn't the same.
Miroku: I'll save you+opens Wind Tunnel+
Ruri: +takes Wind Tunnel+
Miroku: Dude, that's gonna kill you. Neat Trick though.
Sango: +falls on Miroku+
Miroku-Sango Shippers: YAY!
Ruri: +Wind Tunnel+
PWNSI: OMG! The wind tunnel has been duplicated!
Inuyasha Fans: Shut up and watch the movie!
Pointy Arrow: RAWWW! I'm a pointy arrow! That conveniently missed your arm!
Ruri: Pointy Arrow! Let's run!
Kirara: Finally, a break from Shippo. +takes Ruri and Hari away+
Kaede: Welcome to the first movie, Miroku and Sango.
Sango: Thanks for taking your sweet ass time to show up.
Kaede: Listen to the trees.
Miroku: ….
Kaede: sings: And Paint with all the colors of the wind!
Miroku and Sango: +steps back slowly+
Kikyo's soul stealers soul steal and well, generally creep everyone out.
Kikyo+makes a cameo+
Dana: OMFG I HATE HER!
Erica: Look, a butterfly!
Dana+chases butterfly+
Kikyo: The tree is sad. I will cheer it up!
Moth: I'm lost!
Kikyo: Is someone after Inuyasha?
PWNSI: OMG! Inuyasha is in danger!
Erica: Geez….
Victoria: Dude, I know.
Kagome's Bike+cries from beating+
Kagome: Stupid Bike!
Kikyo: +hugs tree in the distance+
Kagome+drops bike and hides from Kikyo's tree hugging power+
Bike: I'm so over this
Kagome: Hey! She's gone! Cool!
Inuyasha+stalks angrily through forest+
Shippo: Why are you stalking angrily through the forest?
Erica: This is why Dubbing sucks.
Dana: Kikyo…die….+sways slowly side to side+
Inuyasha: I'm looking for Kagome so I can show my manly power
Shippo: You love her, don't you?
Inuyasha+sees Kikyo's soul stealers+ Ahh, earth, clay, and death, so lovely…
Kagome: Well, I wonder why Kikyo was hugging this tree. OOO! Sharp and pointy object…must touch it+pricks finger (cough)on the spindle of spinning wheel and falls asleep(cough)+
Inuyasha: You klutz. Good thing you cut yourself. Now I can bandage you up. +rips handkerchief+
Erica+wonders why he had Kagome's handkerchief+
Kagome-Inuyasha Shippers: YAY! YAY! YAY!
Victoria: Give it a rest, will ya?
Inuyasha: Where's my bitch, Kikyo?
Dana: Must…Kill…Kikyo…
Moths: +poison powder+
Inuyasha: Don't breathe, Kagome.
Kagome: ok.
Victoria: This is an accident waiting to happen…
Spawn of Tree: +appears+
Inuyasha: So you are the enemy in this movie?
Menomaru: Yup.
Inuyasha: Are you ok, Kagome?
Kagome+passes out+
Inuyasha: Guess not…
Menomaru and Inuyasha fight and Inuyasha loses. Tetsusaiga flies away. Menomaru gets pissed cause he can't touch the sword.
PWNSI: OMG INUYASHA IS DEAD!
Inuyasha fans: OMG shut up and watch the damn movie!
PWNSI+Cries+ poor Inuyasha…
Inuyasha+wakes up+
PWNSI+cheers+
Shippo: Don't open your wounds!
Inuyasha: Where's Kagome?
Bike: What is he looking at me for? You think that I would take her?
Inuyasha: She's been taken while I was dead passed out! I'm a terrible person!
Myoga: No time for that now. Menomaru is bad, go kill him and save your girl. He is the son the evil thing that your father battled. The End.
Inuyasha: You are going to help.
Myoga: No
Inuyasha: Yes. +ties Myoga to him+
Erica: That can be taken in so many different ways.
Kagome+is tied up+
Menomaru+looks spiffy+
Kagome: +resists the mind possession+
Menomaru: Here, use this Shard that Kagome didn't sense earlier.
Hari: Mmmkay.
Kagome: +absorbs shard+ HAHA! I broke your dumb roots! Who are you? Where's Inuyasha?
Kagome+grabs arrows+
Hari: Fear the moths!
Hiraikotsu+attacks moths+
Sango and Miroku+appear+
Kagome: You found me!
Sango: You were missing+attacks Hari+
Miroku: +attacks Ruri+
Kagome+shoots arrow that conveniently missed Menomaru's head+ In a desperate attempt to save my sorry shooting skills I will pretend I meant to do that!
Menomaru+goes to attack Kagome+ Damn bait!
Inuyasha: I'll save you Kagome!
Inuyasha-Kagome Shippers: YAY!
Miroku: Inuyasha!
Sango: Inuyasha!
Ruri: Inuyasha!
Erica: Not this again…
Inuyasha: Wind Scars Menomaru
Myoga conveniently explains the movie. Inuyasha Wind Scar's and then breaks the curse mentioned above. Menomaru then goes into the fetal position in his father's uterus, and then the gang leaves to watch. Inuyasha's stupidity blows everyone in a far proximity from everyone else. The Tree of Ages (cough)from the Legend of Zelda(cough) grows. A lot. Menomaru pulls a Kikyo and steals everyone's souls. Kagome arrives with Shippo in Kaede's village.
Sesshy+makes a cameo+
Rin+runs to Sesshy+
Jakken+freaks out+
Sango and Miroku are alone in a cave with a beaver. They get Hacchi to go with them with blackmail.
Really Sad and Confusing Part of Movie :Begins
Inuyasha: I must keep going and ignore all the common sense I may have. Must not break my image of being stubborn +lets Myoga go+
Menomaru: +blows on leaf+
Dana: Too bad we can't do that…
Kagome: +becomes possessed+
Kaede: Here, have some water.
Kagome: I don't want your water! Die!
Non-italicized Kagome: Run away Kaede!
Kagome+walks to mysterious bridge+
Inuyasha: (cough)Kikyo!(cough) Kagome! I'm glad that you are ok.
Kagome: Run away!
Kagome+ Leans into Inuyasha+
Kagome: Inuyasha…Get away
Kagome+Stabs Inuyasha with abnormally long nails+
Inuyasha: Ka...gome…You must be possessed! Either that or really pissed about Kikyo
Inuyasha-Kagome Shippers+start crying+
Erica: No! Even this makes me sad!
Inuyasha: Snap out of it, Kagome! I'll make out with you if I have to! How dare he do this to Kagome!
Kagome+Throws acid nails+
Inuyasha: Is that Kikyo?
Kagome+Stabs Inuyasha 5 times+
Kagome: Inuyasha, please, get away from me! Run!
Kagome+makes an arrow and bow out of a leaf+
Sango: Hiraikotsu!
Hiraikotsu slices through Menomaru's uterus and temporarily breaks the hold he has on Kagome.
Miroku+rubs Sango's hand+
Miroku-Sango shippers: YAY!
Kagome: +drops arrow+ Get away! I have no control over my body! Run!
Inuyasha: I'm sick of everyone telling me to run! I'm not running, not without you! I'm not leaving you behind!
Kagome Inuyasha Shippers (+Erica, Dana, and Victoria): Aww….
Ruri and Hari: +Fight+
Kagome: +loses control+
Kagome: +Stretches bow+
Kagome: NO…No…NOO!
Arrow+strikes Inuyasha+
Inuyasha: Ka…go…me…
Kagome: INUYASHA+breaks curse+
Kagome: +hugs Inuyasha+ I'm sorry!
Kikyo: How Ironic…
Dana: must…kill Kikyo…
Kagome: Kikyo…
Kikyo: Go! You are truly my incarnation. So go back to your own time. You do not belong here.
Kagome: Should I ask follow up questions about this?
Kikyo+pushes Kagome down the well+
Well+clogs up+
Victoria: Well, if that happened ten seconds earlier, the movie would be totally different…
Back in Kagome's time:
Grandfather+prays for the snow to stop falling+
Dana+prays for the snow to fall in Florida+
Erica: I know from experience that doesn't work.
Kagome+goes through teenage angst+
The Feudal Era:
Miroku and Sango battle. And battle. Kirara headbutts a tree to break the curse. (why didn't Kagome think of that?)
Kaede+finds Inuyasha+
Sango gets Kirara back.
Sango Kirara Shippers: yay!
Erica: That's just wrong…
Modern time:
Kagome's mom: told you not to burn the frying pan.
Kagome+cries+
Kagome's mom: +explains the sentimental value of tree+
Shikon Shards+glow+
Erica: and they didn't do that before because….?
Kagome: I'm still connected….
The feudal era:
The battle between the wind tunnels continue. And Hari gets sucked into the tunnel because she's a bitch.
Miroku: She said I was handsome…
Sango+cuts Ruri in half+
Menomaru: +takes Ruri's soul+
Erica+laughs+
Dana: That's sick…
Victoria: You know that was good…
The modern era…and feudal
Kagome: I miss Inuyasha…I can feel him…
Inuyasha: Kagome, is that you?
Kagome: Inuyasha? Are you ok?
Erica: +facepalm+
Inuyasha: yes. You got scared.
Kagome: Inuyasha
Inuyasha: Hey, you are here Kagome.
Kagome: I hurt you.
Inuyasha+gets up+ Stop it. +hugs Kagome+
Shippers: YAY!
Inuyasha: I need you with me Kagome…haven't you realized that yet?
Shippers: YAY!
Inuyasha: come back Kagome.
Shippers: YAY!
Kagome: The Well is stuffed with roots.
Inuyasha: Use a sacred arrow.
Kagome: I have one in the tree+takes arrow+
Feudal Era:
Inuyasha: Starts wind scar….
Modern Era:
Kagome+shoots arrow+
Feudal Era
KABOOM! Inuyasha is buried under debris…
Kagome: made it!
Inuyasha: You idiot!
Kagome: I was just following your directions.
Inuyasha fights giant Menomaru…and I learn that evil is not only bad, its really ugly too…
Kagome aims for his forehead…and hits his wing and gets rid of it. In anger, he forces her off the cliff…
And she (cough)dies! (cough)Is saved by Kirara.
Kagome: Wow, my shooting skills really suck in this movie.
Sango: You ok?
Kagome: Take me back to the danger, please.
Kagome: Inuyasha!
Inuyasha: Kagome!
Kagome: +leaps off Kirara+
Inuyasha: you Idiot+catches Kagome+ That was reckless…
Kagome: I knew you'd catch me…
Miroku: Sango, its your turn…
Sango: I'll pass. +thows shoulder pad at Miroku+
With the power of the Sacred Arrow…and the backlash wave, Menomaru is defeated.
And Myoga proves he is not a complete coward and gets smacked for it.
END. (FIN)
Kagome: What do you say I prepare a special lunch again?
Inuyasha: Just put the pickled radish in there. The omelette stuff was in my way.
Kagome+flames of hell+ SIT BOY!
its not like i want you to leave a review, i mean its up to you whether or not you want to leave a review, but a reveiw sure would be nice because reviews make me happy... :)
So please review.
Cuz i have the parody of the second movie already typed up :)
