I've written to the fanfiction people about the lyrics being acceptable if you clearly state that you don't own them. I've written to them TWICE but no one's answered! Does anyone know about any address I could e-mail them again? 'Cause I think I state it really clear I don't own the lyrics. So it's gotta be acceptable right? (we do disclaimers saying we don't own the characters, but we can use them. So if we don't own the lyrics, we can still use them, right?)

I could be wrong though…

DISCAIMER: I don't own ANYTHING, except for the title of the story and the title of the chapters and story plot. Everything else, I'm just borrowing.

So, a few things to note:

Words in ITALICS are THOUGHTS.

:italics: are dreams/memories

O.O

I MISS CALCULATED! I HAVE TWO MORE CHAPTERS TO WRITE! THIS ONE AND THE EPLOGUE THINGIE! SOOOOOO SORRY! T.T

I think I own the movie "Murderer's Citadel".


Chapter 9: But healing continues

: "Hey Leo. Get your fat ass over here. I wanna show ya somethin'."

Leo blinked in surprise as he heard Raph call for him. How weird. He had ignored him for three days and now he was suddenly talking with him? Something wasn't right.

But…

If he declined…then Lord help him.

Leo sighed as he put down the broom. He'd finish sweeping the kitchen later.

He stepped into the living room, where Raph was sitting in front of the tv.

Raph didn't look up when he stepped in, but Leo knew that he knew he was there.

"I wanna show ya somethin'. Sit there." He pointed to the floor.

Leo raised an eyebrow but complied, knowing better than to refuse. A good slash on his upper shoulder was a painful reminder…

But Leo didn't see the evil smirk on Raph's face as he pressed the play button on the remote. The paused movie began to play again.

Leo's eyes widened as he recognized the movie. Casey had checked it out for them to watch, but none of them liked it at all—at least, Casey, April and he didn't…

The movie was called "Murderer's Citadel". It was rated R, but if there were a rating higher than R, it would definitely go there.

It was about this guy and this girl who accidentally get lost in the woods and never return. Then, two years later, the same thing repeats. Finally, the government sends out its top five agents (three guys/two girls) to investigate. They are sure that a known serial killer is hiding there.

The five agents find a person in the woods. The person is just walking. He sees them and warns them to turn back. There are ghosts in these parts. Especially in the old citadel in the center of the forest. The agents laugh at this.

The agents go on. The person watches them, and when they are out of sight, he disappears. The agents meanwhile reach the citadel and go in. They find nothing unusual, except for the fact that it's been abandoned for a good century or so. They decide to turn in for the night, since they're here and tired.

The next morning one agent has disappeared. Then slowly, slowly, all of them disappear, each one found by another brutally murdered. The last agent, a girl, tries to flee. But the doors all lead to rooms full of skulls and dead bodies. Finally, she finds the real killer. It turns out to be a demon from hell. It ends up killing her, ending the movie.

But that wasn't why they hated it. It was because of HOW the monster killed its victims. It used ropes, knives, anything. It even possessed one of the agents and murdered the other by first raping her. It was WAY too gruesome of a movie.

And right now, Raph had the film start at the part when the demon had possessed an agent and now was going to go rape its victim.

Leo quickly looked away as the possessed agent cornered its victim.

But there was a thin, sharp sai under his chin the instant he looked away.

"Look back and watch." Raph ordered. Leo shuddered, but complied, knowing a slit throat won't do much of a good.

So he was forced to watch the extremely detailed and long fifteen-minute piece of the victim being violated and tortured to death.

But the worst part was that Raph had laughed through out the whole thing. He somehow found it funny…

At the end of that part, Raph paused it and forced Leo to look at him. He was smiling, a cruel glint in his eyes.

"You know why I showed you?"

Leo waited patiently, even though inside he was scarred to death of the answer.

"Because if you tell anyone, especially April, then she's gonna end up like that gal in the movie. Get that?"

Leo carefully nodded; making sure that the knife did not cut his neck…

The dream shifted then, and he was back in that little closet. All three of his brothers were there, surrounding him.

He was too wounded to stand, having received new wounds from them. He just lay on the ground, curled up, waiting for the next blows.

They were standing above him, laughing.

"You'll never be good enough."

"You good for nothing, lazy, piece of shit."

"You get us all in trouble."

"You made our life miserable."

"Why can't you just die? Face it. It'll make everyone's lives a lot easier."

The same words, repeated over and over again. He closed his eyes, knowing that they were true…

The dream shifted again, but this time, he was younger. He was barely six.

His brothers were playing tag. Leo's eyes widened as Mikey strayed too close to the edge of the sewers.

"Careful!" He yelled, jumping forward.

But Mikey just laughed and ducked under his grasp. "You're such an idiot Leo!"

Raph laughed at that. "Yeah, you stick your big nose into everything! We're six, for god's sake!"

"We're not kids, Leo." Don stated. "Nothing will happen—"

Just then, there was a splash. Mikey had fallen in, just like Leo had feared.

Leo immediately jumped in, grabbing Mikey, and dragging him out from the sewer water.

Splinter had arrived two seconds later, having heard their panicking cries. After he checked that all of them were fine, he sent them all except for Leo, to their rooms.

He glared at Leo. "I have told you many times that you need to watch out for your brothers. You are the elder, and the role model. I am very disappointed in you, Leonardo."

Leo's eyes widened in realization. Splinter thought that he hadn't been watching his brothers! That he LET Mikey fall in!

"But Sensei—"

"Go to your room. I am very disappointed in you. I do not want excuses." Splinter stated clearly.

"But—"

"I have told you to go! Do you wish for more punishment?"

Leo looked at the ground. Splinter didn't believe him. No one did. Maybe he did let Mikey fall in. After all, everyone was right and he was wrong…

He was always wrong…:


Leo shot up in bed. Three weeks had passed, but the dreams were still there.

His gaze meandered towards his twin Katanas. He knew he shouldn't practice…but he needed something to clear his mind.

He debated a little, but the urge to clear his mind and settle his thoughts won. He slowly got out of his bed, limping a bit because of the broken ankle, and picked up his swords.

It was only three in the morning, so he didn't need to be worried about being caught.


He stood in the darkness. He didn't dare to turn on the lights, for fear of someone seeing them.

But he didn't mind. It wasn't so dark that he couldn't see at all. He could see shapes around him, plus he knew the dojo from front to back. So he wasn't worried.

He silently drew his Katanas, before starting of with easy movements, slowly going through years and years of training.

And before he knew it, three hours had passed.


Raph yawned as he walked to the kitchen, to make some coffee. He hadn't slept so great last night, being plagued with dreams of him abusing Leo and then the Shredder laughing in his face…

Suddenly, his ears picked up faint whooshing sounds. He froze. He knew that sound very well.

It was being made by swords.

With a sinking heart, Raph snuck towards the dojo, knowing whom it was.

Sure enough, Leo was in the dojo, completely absorbed in his practice. He was a bit slower than usual because of the ankle, but he was still pretty impressive.

He heard movements behind him, and he quickly whirled around and hinted for Mikey to be quiet. Mikey nodded, then curiously looked into the dojo.

Pretty soon, the whole family including Splinter, April and Casey were watching Leo as well. They knew that Leo shouldn't be practicing, but they knew better than to interrupt him now. He could very well accidentally lash out at them and decapitate them before they even had a chance to take a breath. They had to wait till he stopped.

Then, Leo started to slow down before stopping. Everyone relaxed, thinking that Leo had stopped finally.

But then, Leo suddenly launched into a whole different type of kata. (Kata is a series of movements)

This one, however, was unfamiliar to any of them.

Mikey looked at Splinter. "What kind of kata is that? I haven't seen that one…" He whispered.

Splinter shook his head, staring at his eldest in awe. "I have not seen this kata. I am unfamiliar with this one…" He replied quietly.

But just as Leo did a spinning kick, he accidentally landed on his broken ankle. Pain flashed momentarily across his face, before he collapsed to his knees, his face masking the pain this time.

Don was beside Leo in a second. "Leo! You okay? I told you, you shouldn't practice with that ankle!"

Leo, who hadn't yet noticed them, now visibly jumped at the sound of Don's voice.

Then, slow realization dawned on his face. "Sorry." He mumbled, staring at the floor.

Raph sighed as he recognized one of the habits that Leo had picked up. Staring at the floor and apologizing for everything.

Mikey grinned happily as he skipped in, landing to a halt near Leo, who flinched a bit. "Where'd ya learn that awesome set of katas?"

Leo blinked in surprise as he looked up at Mikey.

Splinter nodded, stepping in, looking intently at his eldest. "It was very impressive. But where did you learn this? I do not recognize this particular kata."

Leo quickly looked down. He muttered something.

Mikey blinked. "Whadya say? I couldn't hear…"

Leo quickly stood up, despite the bad ankle.

Don was about to tell him not to do that, when Leo spoke, shocking them all with his answer.

"I made it up."

Then, Leo was gone. He quickly ran out of the dojo and disappeared into his room. Even with a broken ankle, he could move amazingly fast.


Don had gone to Leo's room, since he wouldn't come out and that ankle looked bad.

He knocked on the door and waited, before opening the door.

The lights were off and the whole room was pitch black. Don fingered the wall for the light switch, and when he found it, flicked it on.

There was a small shifting in the corner of the room, and Don looked there.

Leo was huddled in the corner behind the bed, his face buried in his arms, and his wounded ankle stretched out in front of him.

"Leo?" Don asked carefully. "You okay?"

Leo didn't answer.

Don sighed before holding up the first aide kit he brought with him. "I need to check your ankle. Can I?" He was always careful with Leo now. Careful not to freak him out and to show him that he won't hurt him. So far, he had gained more of Leo's trust than his brothers. Leo was also starting to talk to him.

Leo didn't answer, but he nodded.

Don nodded, before slowly moving over to where Leo was and knelt down beside him. He quickly checked the ankle.

"No serious damage done." He informed Leo happily. "But you should stay off the leg as much as you can. Would you like me to make some crutches?"

"No."

Don nodded at the answer. "'Kay."

"I needed to think."

Don looked up at Leo in surprise, before he understood. "Oh. Well, we all need that sometimes."

"So you're not angry?"

For the second time, Don looked at Leo in surprise. "No. Why would I? Yeah, I'm not happy about the ankle, but we all need to think."

There was a silence as Leo watched Don wrap up his ankle again, renewing the makeshift cast.

Then, as Don was packing away his medical stuff, Leo reached under the bed and took out a cd. He handed it to Don, who took it in surprise.

"What's this?" Don asked, turning the cd over. There, with Mikey's messy handwriting, was scribbled the word 'Cd Mix'. Don blinked. "So that's where Mikey's cd went! He's been looking for it for days! But why—"

Leo looked down at his hands. "Listen to track sixteen. I think you'll get me then."

Don raised an eyebrow, but didn't press further. "'Kay. I'll listen to it. You get some food, you hear? You're seriously underweight you know."

Leo nodded, but Don could tell that he wasn't really listening.


Back in his room, Don put away his medical supplies, before sitting down on the floor, next to a cd player.

Putting the cd in, he quickly forwarded to track sixteen.

He then grabbed a book that was turned to a page on Mental Abuse, and started reading it, while listening to the music start to play.

Then, he froze as he listened to the lyrics, immediately recognizing the song. It was by Linkin Park, and titled 'Easier to Run'.

(A/N: I am not allowed to add lyrics, because I do not want to get in trouble. However, if it helps anyone, pretend that the lyrics are here. Thank you.)

After the song played through, Don sat in silence as another song started up, this time 'Everytime' by Britney Spears. But Don wasn't listening. He just stared at the cd player, not paying attention.

And he stayed that way for a good ten minutes.


Leo sat in the darkness.

Maybe it wasn't a good idea to give him the cd? After all, what if—

It was a good idea. Don's smart. He'll understand.

But what if he doesn't get it?

He has to get it. I can't get better if he doesn't understand.

Do I really want him to understand?

Do I want to get better at all?

What if I get better than it starts all over again?

The cube was destroyed. Don told me. April told me.

But what if the Shredder can replicate it?

I can't handle it again…

:"You fuckin' stupid bastard! Can't you do anythin' right?"

Yells. They were there again.

Leo quivered as he looked down at the broken mug. He didn't mean to break it. Honestly.

But they didn't care. No one ever cared…:

Leo shook his head to clear it of the memory. He hated those memories. Why were they still here? He wanted them gone…

And that was why Don had to understand.

:He was running down the sewers…:

Leo groaned as he began to beat his head against the wall. The wall was thick and it faced to the outside of the Lair, so no one would hear it easily. Besides, the pain would keep the memories away…if at least for a while.


"Yo, Don! What's this 'emergency meeting' about?" Raph asked impatiently as he sat down on the couch in the living room.

Don didn't answer, just stared sullenly at them.

"My son?" Splinter asked, looking concerned with Don's sudden attitude change.

Don said nothing, only moved to the cd player next to him, and put the cd into it. He quickly forwarded it to track sixteen. Then, he hit play. "Listen to the lyrics." Was all he said.

"Hey!" Mikey shouted standing up. "Where'd ya get my cd?"

Don didn't answer, only hinted for Mikey to be quiet.

Mikey slowly sat down as he began to listen.

All of them were listening now. Listening hard.

When the song ended, Don paused it. This time, he spoke up. His tone was sullen as well. "Leo gave it to me. He said to listen to track sixteen. That I'd understand him better then."

Raph crossed his arms and leaned back onto the couch. Then,

"That song reminded me of somethin'."

All of them looked at Raph. But Raph wasn't looking at them. He was staring intently at the coffee table in front of him, deep in thought. "Remember when we were ten?—

(Flashback)

Don was busy reading a book on some laws of physics, while Mikey and Raph were both busy playing video games.

All of a sudden, Leo ran into the room, looking really excited. "Guys, guys! Guess what!"

"Yeah, what." Raph said, not looking up from the tv.

But Leo didn't care that none of his brothers were actually paying attention to him. He was too excited.

"I made up a whole new kata!"

That caught his brothers' attention. But not in the way Leo hoped it would.

Raph slowly put down the video game control, before slowly standing up. He had just had a small growth spurt, so he was about the same height as Leo. "You always gotta be Mr. High-and-Mighty, don't ya?"

Leo's smile disappeared. He cocked his head, looking at his brother in surprised. "What do you mean?"

"You know what I mean."

Leo slowly shook his head. "No…"

Raph's eyes flashed. "Why don't ya jus' go away and leave us alone, Splinter Junior!"

Leo blinked, a little taken aback. What had he done wrong? "What—"

"We're tired of your constantly hogging all the attention around here! We're tired of your goody-goody attitude! We're tired of you being the best at everything! We're tired of you, PERIOD."

Leo felt tears whelm up, but he forced them back. "But don't you want to see the kata that I made up?"

"NO!" Raph yelled, taking a step closer to Leo.

Mikey scowled at Leo. "We don't! You being best at everything is bad enough!"

Leo stared at his brothers in complete shock. "But—"

"Look, Leo." Don spoke up, finally looking up from his book. "We don't need you to show us how good you are all the time. We see it everyday. We're just trying to be best at something right now, and you just go and ruin it for everyone! Leave us alone! God! Is that too much to ask?"

Leo opened his mouth to say something, when Splinter stepped into the room.

"What is going on here?" He asked sternly, looking at each of them.

"Leo is bragging that he made up a new kata." Mikey immediately tattle-tailed.

Splinter raised an eyebrow before looking at his eldest. "Is this true?"

Leo looked at him. "No! I was just going to show them my kata that I made up! But—"

"See! See!" Raph said, pointing at Leo. "He's doing it again!"

"Enough, Raphael." Splinter said, before looking back at his eldest.

"Leonardo. Enough. Katas are very difficult series of movements. It is not easily created. You either have practiced a kata wrong, or have seen a kata in a book which I have not taught—"

"But that's not it—"

"Leonardo! Enough! Bragging is a very bad thing to do! I will have none of this, do you hear me?"

Leo looked at him with wide eyes. No one believed him… "B—"

"Do you hear me, Leonardo?"

Leo lowered his head. "Yes."

"Good. Now apologize to your brothers for your behavior and then go to your room."

Leo obediently turned and apologized, before marching off. There, behind locked doors, he quietly tore up every single note he had written on how to do that kata.

There, behind locked doors, he vowed never again to make up katas. Never again to blend different movements into one.

And there, behind locked doors, he cried.

And no one knew but him.

(end flashback)


SORRY FOR THE MISCALCULATION! The next chapter will DEFINITLY be the LAST one.

I'M SO SORRY!

R&R PLEASE!