Recap:
I thought that Lucas appending the team was doing me a diminutive favor, but now I knew that all it caused me was more anxiety to be more exceptional in my game. Now I had to surpass his skill and I understood that I was going to live a worse life. I will now have to work ten times more to please my own father, but I still recognized that it wasn't going to be sufficient for him.
Nothing I'll ever do in my life is ever going to be good enough for him.
Ever.
Chapter 7
The Tantrum and more flashbacks…
I abruptly started to hurriedly walk to my stereo and I pushed play. Within moments, Echo by Trapt blared inside my room.
Close my eyes
Let the whole thing pass me by
There is no time, to waste
Asking why...
Quickly, my veins started to pump with newfound power; Domination that was established by my anger and frustration. I abruptly, walked to my bureau and saw my reflection in the mirror. My face was filled with fury and my hands were balled in fists. I could clearly see my veins pulsing with rage and I instantly knew that I had to let some of it out.
I marched to the wall were my awards hanged. They stared at me as if mocking me for my accomplishments.They reminded me of the ache and misery that I had to go through to be in the arrangement that I was in now…
Abruptly, I yanked the honors off my wall; commencing my tantrum. They all lay on the ground, falling from their peaceful slumbers and assembled on the floor. I looked at all the awards that lay on the floor. Amongst them were a vast amount of basketball and best player prizes. Though, one reward lay with more supremacy then the rest of them. I stared at the brown frame and the golden plate as I bent down and picked it up.
Best Academic Improvement Award
Flashback
"Nathan because of your massive improvement in your grades I decided that we should just take a day off of studying," Haley told me one day during tutoring.
"How do you know my grades?" I asked her, getting worried.
"I am a tutor and therefore have access to my student's grades," she stated. "Now tell me Nathan, I was oddly surprised that you were actually doing pretty well in all your classes," she told me with an 'I know' look.
Busted.
"Uh," I staggered at first. "What can I say…I could never settle for the moderate, I always have to exceed everything," I replied with a grin, knowing that I barely saved myself.
"And good vocabulary," she added with a smile. "Definitely exceeding people's expectations…" she told me with a recognizing look. "Now let's get out of here," she told me.
I'll run away with you, by my side…
"Why Haley, that is what I am definitely talking about," I responded as I gathered up my books and got off my seat.
"Oh, but wait," she said excitedly as she stopped moving, turned around, and smiled. "I have something to give you because of your awesome improvement," she added as I saw her search in her bag pack for the object.
At that moment, I couldn't help but feel true happiness and excitement.
Always feeling that way when I was with her…
"Here you go," she voiced as she pulled out a plaque. "The Board always makes me present or basically give an award to my students that have improved a lot in such a short amount of time. Though, most of the time it is just a simple piece of paper saying 'Congratulations,' but once they found out that it was the Great Nathan Scott they had to get you something much more higher quality. Even though I seriously don't know why because everyone should be treated the same…" she blabbed on. "But anyways, here you go," she added as she gave me the item.
I stared at the article she gave me and I instinctively started to smile. Never in my life would I have thought that I would be presented with an award for Academic improvement or for academic excellence for that matter. I would always expect to be offered one for best player or MVP because of my skill in basketball. However, for some odd reason I was actually pleased that I got an unlikely prize.
"Thanks Haley," I retorted as I unexpectedly hugged her.
To her astonishment and mine…
She suddenly started to embrace me back after her amazement subsided.
Wanting to be like that forever…
"Well then," I announced pulling away from her.
Knowing that I shouldn't get too attached to my subjects...
"Where are we going?" I asked her with a smirk.
"Just trust me and follow me," she verbalized as she turned around and persevered on walking.
I paused for a moment, not knowing what to do. I have never relied on anyone since the betrayal of my parents; ever since they became insignificant people in my life. From the time when my mom decided to extend her business trips and the day my dad committed himself to make me play basketball flawlessly. When he started to hammer me for every single mistake I made on the court.
Not really caring what happened off the court…
Since that point forward, I was never able to confide in anyone for the reason that I didn't want to be deceived ever again.
I never wanted to feel the pain of having someone you trusted become a faint entity…
Though, I knew that with Haley it was a different story. She made me feel like a diverse person. She made me feel like the being I truly was; Nathan Scott. She was one of the only individual's that saw past my façade and saw the real me. She has taught me so much more then a teacher ever has in a classroom.
Showing me the real reason of life…
Within moments I started to smile in acknowledgment of Haley. I took the extra step and followed her.
I'll run away with you, by my side
I'll run away with you, by my side
I smiled as I caught up with Haley and gazed at her cheery figure.
Finally feeling joyful and complete for the first time.
End of Flashback
That day, Haley and I ditched school all day. We went out to eat breakfast, played miniature golf, went to the Billiard's, and ate dinner.
"One of the best days in my life," I say aloud in acknowledgement.
With anger and frustration, I kicked the ball that sat motionless on the floor.
Flashback
I bounced the ball on the floor and threw it up in the air towards the hoop. I smiled as it gracefully went in.
"Nothing, but net," I told myself as I shot free throws after practice.
I started to walk to retrieve the ball, when suddenly someone unknown picked it up. I glanced up and notice the individual. I stand up and straighten my back with poise, warning the figure of whom he was talking to. Lucas stood in front of me, staring at me with anger.
"What the hell do you want?" I asked him with irritation and harshness, letting him recognize that I didn't want him on the same team as me.
I need to let go, let go, let go, let go, of this pride
Yeah (asking why)
"Shouldn't I be the one asking what the hell do you want?" he retorted with the same rage that was running inside of me.
"What the fuck are you talking about?" I questioned him with more fury in my voice. "Just give me the fucken ball so I can resume my free throws and I can go home," I declared to him as I tried to take back the ball, but he pulled away causing me to grab air.
"What the hell do you want with Haley?" he voiced with oddity and infuriation.
"We are just talking," I verbalized with a smile.
Knowing that it was bothering him to the core…
"Stay the hell away from her," he warned me before he threw the ball with a great deal of force and turned around.
"What makes you think that I am going to stay away from her?" I asked him, causing him to stop and he turned around.
"I'm just warning you of what is to come if you don't," he cautioned me. "Just stay the hell away from her and I will do nothing to bother you during practices. I'll play and ignore your obnoxious comments in exchange for you to stop talking to her," he told me.
Do I expect to change
The past I hold inside
With all the words I say
Repeating over in my mind
"What if I tell you that I don't want to?" I asked him, approaching his raged figure.
"I don't think you want to know what I am capable of," he advised me again. "Just do her a favor and leave her alone. Don't cause her to make a mistake because of you. She has too much going for her and you are just getting in the way of her success," he informed me.
"I won't guarantee you that she'll stay away from me," I replied with a grin.
"I have given you my warning," he said as he pushed the door bar of the gym door with harshness. "Just stay away from her," he voiced once more as he left me alone.
I held the ball with austerity. I started to get angry because of Lucas' forewarning. I never had restraints in my life before and sure enough I wasn't going to start now.
'I am Nathan Scott. I can have whatever or whoever I want,' I told myself.
Suddenly I heaved the ball that was in my hands to the wall. It fell to the ground with a loud bash, bouncing on the floor simultaneously until its inertia decreased, producing it to stop moving.
Knowing to myself that everything he said was true. I knew that if I became involved with Haley in any way, I would be restraining her from doing what she worked hard for all these years…
"I won't," I answered a loud as I stared at the door Lucas left moments ago. "This is a battle that you have yet to win big brother," I added as I glared at the door, imagining Lucas was still in the room.
END OF FLASHBACK
More rage filled inside of me, thinking back to the warning of Lucas earlier that day.
Wanting to relinquish my ferocity once more...
I rapidly walked to my bureau and gazed at the numerous trophies standing untouched, away from my wrath.
Blaming them also for my pain of always being the best…
With anger pulsing in my veins, I threw everything off that was in the right side of my bureau. My vast amount of trophies fell on the floor with no regrets; they fell with the pleasure of destruction running through my veins. I almost immediately saw the other untouched side of my bureau. With the strength throbbing inside of me, I swiftly pushed everything off. I gazed at the immense amount of objects dropping to the floor with a loud resonance. Though, out of all the items that were declining, I stared at one in particular. I watched as the box of tricks Haley gave me before I took my history exam one day, collapsed to the floor as well. I persisted to view as the small package plunged onto the floor and while all the items that were inside of it fall out of the container.
I quickly bent over and picked up the contents that were scattered all over the flooring. I picked up the NoDoz, eye drops, and the two number two pencils off the ground.
Flashback
I quickly walked to the docks the next morning after the joyride with the bus. I woke up extra early this morning, bought some coffee, and went to meet up with Haley at the docks for our morning tutoring session. For some reason I was scared of the encounter. Never in my life have I ever been as nervous as I was at this moment.
Knowing perfectly fine that I was worried of the reaction of Haley because I ditched her yesterday…
I strolled to the table as I surprisingly saw her studying like always. Books, folders, and pencils were strewn around the table while I noticed her doing some homework. I approached the table and set down the two coffees. I became aware for the first time that Haley's usual glowing face was now filled up with a cold, stern expression.
I immediately started to feel guilty for my previous action…
"Being the Prince Charming that I am, I brought us both coffees so we can get our caffeine fix for the day because it's damn early for either of us to be up," I commented as I set my bag pack on the ground and pulled out my books.
I opened up my College Algebra book, grabbed a piece of paper, and a pencil, ready to be instructed by Haley. Although, all I distinguished was her perseverance to write on the paper, but I observed that she inscribed with force. The pencil wiggled in her hand as she applied more pressure onto it and within moments, the tip broke.
"The pencil never did anything to you Haley," I stated as I saw Haley throw the pencil onto the floor with irritation.
And that was all it took for her to explode…
"Yeah you are right; the pencil didn't do anything to me. You did," she told me with fury.
Some things you can't erase
No matter how hard you try
An exit to escape
Is all there is left to find
Oh was I going to get it…
"I can't believe you! I thought we were becoming friends," she began. "I thought that the Nathan Scott everyone knew wasn't like people perceived him to be. I thought that you were a good person," she added barely above a whisper. "But then you ditch me," she raised her voice again. "Nathan, I was waiting at the Billiards for hours. That one crazy guy behind the counter hit on my concurrently times, but I persisted to stay because I thought that you were going to show up," she exclaimed. "It took me two hours to finally realize that you weren't going to come. I wasted a perfectly good Friday night waiting for someone that obviously wasn't going to show up," she stated. "Well that isn't even the real reason I am mad, it just that…" she hesitated. "I just thought that we were finally becoming friends, but you know I was wrong just like every other time," she said as she stared at me intently.
"Haley," I began.
"No don't even try to explain," she replied, breaking our eye contact.
"Haley the guys were complaining that I haven't gone out with them in a long time. I had to go out with them," I responded with agitation.
And my stupid, jealous pride made an appearance…
"Nathan a simple phone call would have been fine," she retorted with irritation. "You know since you don't have a phone and everything…" she added sarcastically.
"Haley," I started again.
Ironically my phone initiated to ring.
"Reality calls," she voiced with a mocking grin.
I watched as Haley began to gather her things, reminding me of one of the previous tutoring sessions. The day that she was about to find the truth as to why I was so persistent in having her tutor me.
The day that commenced my journey with her…
The ringing of the phone caused me to become angrier. I couldn't believe that someone was calling me at this time. The irritation got the best of me and I pulled out my cell phone. I glanced at the caller ID and I suddenly noticed who the perpetrator was.
'Alysia,' I answered to myself as I let out a big breath of fresh air.
I swiftly pushed the off button and the aggravating sound ceased. I gaze back up to Haley and finally noticed that she had already assembled all her things and was feet away from the table with her bag pack over her shoulder.
"Haley," I yelled once more as I got up and ran after her.
Running after someone for the first time in my life…
She persisted to walk as if not hearing her name being called.
"Haley!" I shouted again as I finally caught up with her and slightly grabbed her wrist.
Saying her name too frequently, but noticing that it fell from my tongue with much ease…
"What Nathan?" she asked with irritation as she stopped moving and finally looked at me.
"Haley I am really sorry for doing what I did," I apologized for the first time.
And actually meaning it…
"You know what? And I am sorry also for believing that we were becoming friends…" she snapped back.
'Did she really regret becoming friends?' I asked myself as I searched for confirmation in her face.
Although, I couldn't find any; all I found was uncertainty of what was happening between us.
Feeling the same way…
I stared at her raged face. Her immense brown eyes extended in anger, seeming larger then usual. Her auburn hair was pushed back as the wind blew between us, causingit to curve in a seductive manner. The sun lit her face, causing me to finally notice her beautiful, flawless face for the first time; becoming aware that her eyes were a rare sweet chocolate brown that I have never came across before.
Comparing her beauty to that of an angel…
Lastly, I gazed at her tender lips. Her lips were small and slender, but they also appeared to be passionate and intense at the same time.
Wanting to taste her pureness…
The want overtook me and that was all it took. Swiftly, I closed the gap between us and I kissed her.
Close my eyes
Let the whole thing pass me by
There is no time
To waste
Asking why…
Finally tasting her virgin, but sweet lips…
She was surprised by my action and pulled away.
"You shouldn't have done that Nathan," she told me, flushed.
That was all I needed to feel defeated.
"I wanted to," I responded crushed.
Abruptly, she jumped on me and kissed me; A full on kiss. I was surprised at first by her action, but soon realized that I was kissing her back with much passion that aroused in me as I thought of whom I was kissing.
I'll run away with you, by my side
I'll run away with you, by my side
This was one of the many instances where she astonished me.
Being the only one in my life to be able to do so…
End of Flashback
It has been two days since our unexpected act. Ever since then I have not seen her. We departed ways and have avoided each other at all costs. We didn't have study sessions during the weekends and she has not called me to hang out.
But neither have I…
Since the majority of the team was kicked off the team, I have gone out with them and haven't seen Haley since.
Wanting to keep my reputation with the guys…
I need to let go, let go, let go, let go of this pride
The same voice of my father and friends echoed in my head.
"What the hell are you doing Nathan? Why are you letting Lucas on the team? He is only going to take the attention away from the scouts and you would of lost all the time we spent preparing you for the promising position you are now…" they voice of my father rang in my head.
"What the hell are you doing Nathan? Why are you hanging out with her? She is below you. Do you honestly think that people are going to approve of you two going out? Tutor girl and the star of the Tree Hill Ravens? All she is going to affect your status in a massive way," the voice of my friends added to the discussion.
Until this echo, echo, echo, echo in my mind
Until this echo, echo, echo, echo can subside
I looked around the room and everything reminded me of my accomplishments and of other's perceptions. I couldn't handle it any more. I had to quickly get out of my room before I went insane. I grabbed my jacket that sat on my bed, untouched by my tantrum.
The jacket that especially symbolized the result of my pain and suffering…
I grabbed my keys and got out of the house. Passing the different objects laying on the ground because of my tantrum; not caring of their misplacement or what my father would think when he would walk into my room later on that day. I got inside my car and departed to the house of the single person that actually listened to me and liked me for me.
I pulled into the parking lot by the docks a half an hour later. I went over to Haley's house but her mother told me that she was gone and was at the docks. I was now more calmed down as I laid my back on my seat with the radio off.
Knowing well that the radio would remind me of all the chaos that was going on inside of me…
I took an immense breath of fresh air while I sat up and got out of my car. The bright atmosphere hit me as I exited my car and walked through the long docks. I stopped for a moment and gazed at the waves below me. The sun had already set and the moon radiated some light onto the ocean; reflecting it onto the docks and to the night.
Suddenly, I hear the voice of an individual decently far away from me. My ears perked up in recognition of the voice.
The one that I had been waiting for all my life…
I started to pace to the table that we sat during our tutoring sessions. I was still dozens of feet away, but I stopped and stared at her. Even from afar I can distinguish her glowing face. I smiled, remembering all the good memories with her.
So I Close my eyes
Let the whole thing pass me by
There is no time, to waste
To waste asking why
I started to stroll towards her lonely figure, but I paused noticing a forthcoming figure. The individual walked towards Haley and she smiled with in acknowledgment of his presence. She jumped out of her seat and hugged him. Instantly I knew who had joined her, my foe.
My very own brother…
I continued to look at the duo as I observed that she beamed crazily when she was with him. Lucas gave her a kiss on the check and soon they were both walking in my direction.
I'll run away with you, by my side
I'll run away with you, by my side
Sadness overfilled me knowing that I had lost a battle for the first time.
The only combat that actually mattered…
Instinct of not being recognized overtook me. I rapidly turned around and gave them my back. I put my hands in my pocket in surrender. I paced rapidly through the trees and away from the docks. My shoes stepping on the dry leaves that fell from the trees, making me noticed.
I could faintly hear the voice of Haley saying, "Is that—" she started to ask, but was cut by Lucas' voice.
"Nah, I think it's just someone else from the team," he answered for her. "Come on let's go to my Mom's Café and get some coffee. I am cold and in desperate need of some warm liquid. Besides she wants to talk to you," he told her, causing her to look away from me.
"Okay," she agreed with a smile while they persisted to walk, never discovering that it was actually me the entire time.
Should have followed her intuition…
I opened my car door and slammed it harshly.
The first time that I opened up and I got burned…
I mentally thanked myself that I never went through with it and talked to Haley.
'To think that I was actually going to throw my reputation away because of her,' I thought to myself with a slight laugh.
Thinking it so I can feel better about myself…
I turned on my car and all of the sudden my phone rang. I looked at it in annoyance and threw it into the back seat.
Knowing very well that it was Alysia calling…
I put my car in reverse and drove away. Minutes later I pulled up to a brown brick house similar like my own. I got out of the car and rang the door bell. Within seconds, the door opened revealing the individual.
"I thought you weren't going to come," she told me as she got close to me.
My eyes gazed at her outfit; or rather her lack of an ensemble. She wore some tight jeans with a white tank top. I could clearly see her red bra through the thin material and I comprehended that she wore the translucent shirt on purpose. Her hair was still tied back because of cheerleading practice.
"I had things to do," I replied as I walked inside the house. "Your parents home?" I asked her, observing the silent house.
"Nope, they are gone to Europe for a month," she told me as she closed the door and followed me up the stairs.
"Good," I replied as I took off my jacket and walked up the stairs, towards her familiar room.
I opened her door and within moments we were both situated in her room. Her room was pink with white furniture. It appeared to be that of a room of an innocent child, but I glanced over at Alysia and smirked.
She wasn't the pure adolescent that her parents thought of her to be…
There wasn't a single poster or picture hanging on her perfect walls.
Not the same creative and unique room that belonged to Haley…
"No one to interrupt us," I voiced as I set my jacket on the chair that stood beside me.
Not wanting to remember the price I had to pay to obtain it…
"I knew you were going to come around," she retorted as she walked close to me and suddenly started to kiss my neck. "I knew that tutor girl couldn't be part of our world," she mumbled as she continued on kissing my neck recklessly.
"Just shut up," I told her as I lifted her face and kissed her lips.
Not tasting the same sweet savor as Haley's…
I swiftly began to stride to the made bed and pushed her down. I lay on top of her as I aggressively kissed her icy lips and her neck. I pressed her hands onto the satin sheets, the bed colliding with the wall because of my aggression.
My anger still being present and being let out…
Immediately, I commenced to unbutton her pants as I let my mouth and hands explore her body. All of the sudden, I pulled away and stared at her face.
Following the instinct that was screaming to study the facade of the girl I was in bed with…
I gazed at her cream colored features and green eyes, swiftly the face of Haley appearing on hers.
I instantaneously kissed her full on, imagining that it was Haley. That entire night I kissed Alysia with the infatuation I had for Haley; Envisioning her chocolate and immersing eyes belonging to Alysia. Consequently, I slept with Alysia, though fantasizing that it was Haley the entire time.
I need to let go, let go, let go, let go of this pride
Until this echo, echo, echo, echo in my mind
Until this echo, echo, echo, echo can subside
AN: Hey what's up u guys? I know, a hella long time since I have updated. Well more like over a week that I haven't updated a single story. But I am sure that this HELLA lengthy update definitely makes up for it. Come on...it's like 14 pages on Microsoft Word...Now that is hella crazy!!!
Well I hope that you all enjoyed this chapter. I do know that this chapter really revealed a lot of Naley and well the problems in between. I have to say that I am pretty darn proud of this chapter. I liked it very much. I enjoyed how I incorporated the flaskbacks with the objects that he saw. And I SO hope that you all also enjoy it! It
LOL...well I decided to update this fic instead of TSE or PL cuz this chapter kinda continued from the last chapter so i kinda wanted to keep the flow going, u know? Well next is definitely an update for TSE then its off to PL. So maybe I can push in an update for TSE, but I dunno...depends how skool goes!
Well thank you to the three individuals that replied for my story. Damn, I have never gotten that least of reviews for a chapter before...but anyways, thank you so much to lysser8312, maliek, and volleygrl710 for replying. You guys are awesome!!!
I hope that u all enjoyed this chapter as well. So plz review and tell me how I am doing. Thanks!
Sleepneeded911
