Chapter 10
A good day for the voice within…
The morning rays made its way inside my room, illuminating the darkness that had resided a few hours ago. I began to scatter around, annoyed by the bright light hitting my face. I even heard the sound of birds chirping outside.
I grabbed my pillow and pulled it over my head.
Irritated by the happiness of the day…
'Straight out of a fricken Disney movie,' I told myself as I groaned in irritation.
My alarm sounded again, warning me to get up for another day of school. I slammed it, causing the biting repetitive noise to cease. Frustrated, I pulled my warm covers off of me and got up.
My eyes squinted, adjusting to the light.
I took an immense breath of air, preparing myself for another day.
Another deceitful day in the life of Nathan Scott…
I walked over to the stereo and pushed play. The hard sound of The Exies rapidly filled my room.
Within 20 minutes, I was almost ready to leave. First, I had taken a long hot shower, for some odd reason trying to get rid of my problems through the only warmth I was able to feel, that of running pipes. I then quickly changed into some jeans and a plaid shirt. I fixed up my hair and put on my Jordan's. I stood by the door and caught site of the only thing left I had yet to put on, my jacket. I hesitated; my Jordan's did not creaked on the clean maple floor. I stared at it for a few seconds, thinking of the thick piece of material and its significance in my meaningless life.
I rapidly clenched it and put it on without one more thought.
Not wanting to rethink my stupid action…
I grabbed my bag pack and reached for the door. Then something inside of me made me turn back, towards the corner of my room.
Everything was still on the floor.
I shook my head as I turned back around and clutched the cold handle.
Time for another day of school.
'How damn dandy…' I told myself as I walked down the stairs and through the door.
"So you going to Brandon's Friday?" questioned Tim as we set our books in our locker.
"Yeah, maybe…" I answered as I slammed my locker shut.
It was the end of 3rd period and we were on our way to the cafeteria for lunch.
"So ready to eat the nastiness that is cafeteria food?" asked Maria. "Wonder what the surprise is today."
I slightly grinned at her attempt of bringing some lightheartedness into the conversation.
Without words, she was able to know exactly how I was feeling today…
Brooke, Brandon, Vegas, Alysia, Maria, and Tim have now gathered up around me. The gang was all together.
I began to lead the way as we all sauntered to the cafeteria. Tim and Alysia strolled beside me as the rest were behind. While we walked, I could feel the stares of people, watching the most popular group. Most looked at us with yearning to be part of our clique.
Wanting to feel accepted…
Others looked at us with annoyance, jealousy of our popularity and irritated by our need to flaunt our status. My eyes walked with arrogance, covering my actual look of desperation. As I persisted to stroll with poise and power, I knew that I was back.
Everything that happened the night before was in the back of my mind.
My desires on hold once more…
While I made my way through the masses of onlookers my eyes caught sight of a distinct individual. The sun that escaped into the hallways, illuminating it, allowed me to see the radiance of her chocolate hair.
My steps became smaller and more gradual as I noticed her. My ears heard her laughter. My eyes watched her entertaining Lucas.
My hands stayed in their position, not turning into fists.
The usual rage that erupted inside me did not emerge. I looked at my brother's friendship with Haley and the only emotion I felt was envy. Envy of his good relationship with her, but above all, for being accepted. He played ball and was good at it. He was a good guy to everyone that he knew and hardly anyone had anything bad to say about him. The only ones that would say something would be my friends.
My poor excuse of friends…
They both were their own entities and did whatever they wanted.
And I was jealous.
I saw as Haley slightly turned around and my metallics observed her wide smile. She was wearing a pair of loose fitting jeans and a pink shirt. Her hair was up in a ponytail, displaying her clear and soft features. She was exhibiting a pair of simple clothes that did not promote her alluring body.
Being overlooked by the common individual…
Looking absolutely beautiful to me.
My steps continued and suddenly I was beside her catching a taste of her sweetness.
A sense of calm filling my body…
Then unexpectedly I was in front of her, farther away from her luscious body. I slightly shook my head in retraction as I strolled towards the doors of lunch.
The main doors of status differences and cliques…
My eyes never caught sight of Haley's disappointing face watching my every step as I walked father away from her, towards my own destruction. Her eyes pleading for my silent voice to speak out in disapproval.
I opened the door of the cafeteria and paced inside.
I concentrated at everyone who turned around and looked at my slow moving body. Each crowd was focused at my figure.
Anticipating another anger rapture…
Every single person in the room expected it from me. They followed with grins on their faces as I fought with my own self, debating what my desires and wants were. While I knew that there were some that observed me with wonder, all were captivated with my disputing feelings.
Watching me.
The chatter among friends suddenly lowered.
Gossip coming unexpectedly from the shadows, waiting for me…
I turned around and led the way towards the lunch line, ignoring the watchful audience. Brandon and a few of the basketball players pushed the small freshmen out of the way and we were suddenly next in line to grab our lunch and go.
Being true followers…
I saw in front of me at the cafeteria lady. She looked at me with knowledge of who I was at Tree Hill High and grunted.
Acknowledging my assy attitude…
Her hair was in a messy bun and all over the place, the net holding her wild curls down. Her white uniform was wrinkled and stained from the spaghetti she had previously served the students, the apron also matching her dirty uniform. She looked absolutely mean and ugly.
I slightly smiled as she scooped corn onto my plate.
A flash of astonishment crossed her eyes.
A flash of appreciativeness emerged on her elderly features.
I slightly nodded my head to her as I moved over and was served a hamburger. Two more minutes passed and I paid. As I walked over to my designated table I loudly began to hear whispers amongst the masses of gossiping students.
Speaking behind my back with my knowledge…
"So Alysia," began Brooke's sultry voice while she sat across from me. "Did you see Christina's outfit today?" she asked erupting in laughter. "You think someone would have more class then to wear that nameless brand. You think that she probably got her clothes at Wal-Mart or something?" she added, chuckling even more.
"And did you see her hair?" Alysia added. "Is she honestly trying to pull off the Britney Spears look by crimping her hair for school?"
"Opps she did it again," Brooke joked.
Everyone in the table started to laugh at the Senior Class President that had just passed by the table.
Everyone except for me.
Speaking as if we were higher then everyone…
"Nathan?" Alysia called out after her amusement died down. "Is something wrong?" she questioned after everyone's laughter calmed down.
"No," I responded, contradicting my actual answer.
My stern expression advising them that it was the end of the conversation.
I looked around, bored and annoyed of the people that surrounded me.
Bothered by the people that I have been friends with my whole life…
My eyes scanned through the crowds, observing the miscellaneous cliques all around. There were the nerds, the skaters, the bookworms, the gothics, and the normal people who associated with everyone. All the diverse groups had a single thing in common they enjoyed themselves. One could tell that they all liked being with one another as they rightfully belonged to the clusters and were welcomed. They did not have to put up facades to feel a sense of acceptance.
And I was jealous.
"Nathan?" someone's words interrupted my examination.
I turned around and gazed at Alysia, exasperated at her continuous voice.
"What?" I asked her, warning present in my tone and in my eyes.
"I was just asking if you were coming to Brandon's party," she explained.
"And Alysia my answer is still the same," I snapped at her. "I told you before that I was maybe going so would you please stop asking me that repetitive question. It's getting annoying," I proclaimed as I glared at her, not noticing Maria's departure.
I knew I was harsh, but she was getting irritating. Alysia turned around and looked at me, hurt present all over her eyes.
"Geez Nathan, could you be more of an ass?" asked Brooke, observing Alysia's saddened form.
"Sure," I answered back. "Do you want me to see?" I asked her, challenging all of my friends.
"What the hell is your problem Nathan?" questioned Brooke with a strenuous gaze.
I began to smirk at her, she was always able to hold her own ground and was never afraid to speak out.
"Just sit down man," Tim said as he got up from across me and began to reach for me, slightly beginning to glance at the onlookers.
We were beginning to get the attention from the entire student body.
And I didn't care.
"You know what man?" I replied to Tim as I shoved my chair to the table. "Fuck you! You sit the fuck down because I'm not," I told him watching his eyes expand. "I'm through with you all."
"You think that it's as easy as that?" asked a new voice and I glanced over, glaring at Alysia's face.
Her hurtful expression and body abruptly gone…
"Sure, up and leave us. Who the fuck cares?" she said as she got up and threateningly gawked at me. But tell me Nathan what are you going to do when you leave us? Who are you going to be friends with?" she asked, stressing the word friends.
She knew that she was hitting me.
Largely striking me with every hurtful word that was leaving her small mouth…
"Do you honestly think that anyone on this campus is going to open up to you?" she asked me, beginning to smile. "Look the fuck around Nathan," she commanded as she motioned around the room.
We now had the attention of the entire cafeteria.
I glanced around and observed everyone watching us with intensity. Waiting for my response.
Waiting for me to break…
"Now, tell me who is going to be your friend?" she repeated, evilness dripping from her voice.
I didn't answer.
"That's right Nathan, no one. Every single person in this room has suffered you ass of an attitude and cruel jokes," she persisted and lightly grunted. "Everyone including your little girl over there," she said amusingly as she motioned behind me and I looked.
There Haley stood, her immense brown eyes astounded and uncomfortable by the sudden attention she was receiving. She was on her way of sitting down beside Lucas, but was caught off guard by everyone's unpredicted stares.
Appearing like a rabbit caught in the middle of the train tracks…
As I looked at her petite form, I couldn't help but feel like her innocence was being tainted from all the intentness.
The attention she never asked for.
"You know what Alysia?" I told her, taking everyone's concentration off of Haley. "You're just a sorry excuse of a girl. You sleep around with guys and don't even care…" I unexpectedly said.
"Sounds a little familiar doesn't it?" she threw back, surprising me of the amount of venom in her body.
"Yeah it does," I replied loudly. "It reminded me of the Nathan Scott everyone used to know, but not anymore. I'm threw with this shit and your sorry asses excuse of friends," I told them observing their astonished looks. "I'm threw with you guys thinking that we are higher then everyone because we aren't. I'm threw with this falseness of a life and you know what?" I asked them. "Fuck you all and fuck popularity. I'm threw with this shit," I finished as I looked once more to everyone and smirked.
My silent voice finally breaking free…
I then crooked about and headed for the door. The only sound that every single person in the room was able to hear was the bewailing of my Jordan's.
The sound of everyone's heavy breathing as they watched me…
"Once you open that door, you can never come back," Alysia advised me from the table I once sat in.
The table that I have established as our spot…
I reached for the door and stopped my movement. I twisted around, faced Alysia, and gazed directly into her eyes.
"Watch me," I told her as I turned back around and extended my hand towards the handle of the door.
Closing the door of obscurity and opening one of a new life…
I admit now that I hesitated a bit before pulling on the door, but then the warmth of the handle comforted me. I then gradually pulled open the door and walked into the hallway.
It felt good.
I felt liberated.
An extensive amount of weight taken off of my shoulders…
A smirk was perfectly intact as I strolled through the hallway, the main doors, and to the sunshine that illuminated outside.
The crying of my shoes ceased.
It was going to be a good day.
I walked into my house hours later from the incident in the cafeteria. I dropped my bag pack by the door and sauntered into the kitchen to the refrigerator. I pulled out a water bottle and opened it. I began to take immense gulps of water as I gradually closed the door.
Suddenly the body of my father stood in front of me, watching me.
I spit out the water that was in my mouth, taken aback.
His appearance as sudden as the Devil himself…
"What the fuck dad?" I told him as I used my sleeve to dry the water that was around my face.
"Why so surprised Nathan?" he asked me calmly.
Like a predator before smothering its prey…
"You just surprised me," I declared as I commenced to amble towards the doorway. "That's all…"
"How was practice Nathan?" he unexpectedly asked me, his voice calm and callous at the same time.
His vein along his neck became visible to my naked eye.
He was saying my name at the end of every single sentence.
I was in trouble.
"A work out," I responded as I tried to leave the room, but my dad's persistence interrupted me.
After my outbreak in the cafeteria I decided to head to the one place that I knew I could play ball calmly without interruptions, the Rivercourt. It was the place that I have seen my brother many times play with his friends humorously and I always watched with envy.
I opened up the back door and pulled out a basketball that I always kept in my car. Then, I walked onto the court, bounced the ball, shot, and heard the similar glorious sound of a successful basket. While I persevered to play with the bright sun over me, I began to feel a sense of something different, but strikingly similar. I swiftly commenced to feel the same emotion I used to play with back when it used to be a simple sport, the drive and joyous glory of playing for myself.
Without rules or the worry of being the best…
Playing because I wanted to and enjoyed it.
"Really Nathan?" he questioned, his voice being to take a harsh tone.
His vein popped out further.
"I wonder of how much of a workout it was since you never showed up," he bellowed, his voice finally angry, loud, and powerful.
His vein was thumping.
My body began to panic at his attitude and acknowledgement. I was in serious trouble.
"Dad, I can explain," I responded as I began to walk towards a table in the living room.
"Really?" he questioned me, more boisterous and bitter. "Nathan, please explain to me as to how you could have missed a 2 hour practice…"
"I…I…I…" I hesitated, overpowered by my dad's voice, expression, and presence.
Backing up some more…
"Oh, that's right," my dad said again. "Maybe it has something with you ditching 5th and 6th hour as well," he finished stronger.
I took one step forward, angered by his words.
"It's not like I've never done it before," I threw back to him, sarcastically.
"Yeah, I guess you have," he responded, his voice lowering a bit. "But do you think that the scouts are going to be pleased about that?" he asked me. "They don't only want players that can play, but that are moderately smart as well. So Nathan how do you expect to know what 2 times 2 is if you don't go to your classes?" his tone of voice calm and the words he spoke harsh.
Being one of the only single people to do so…
"I'm pretty sure that I learned that back in the first grade dad," I replied smartly, hiding my animosity.
His vein became visible again at my sarcastic humor.
"Nathan is everything a joke to you?" he inquired.
"How will we all laugh dad?" I shot back.
"Okay, Okay…" he affirmed, tucking his hands into his pockets and looking away for a bit. "Do you know who's the joke here?" he persisted, abruptly catching my gaze and holding onto it viciously. "Well, let me tell you, you are at this rate. I mind as well give you a job at the Dealership. So Nathan do you want to be cleaning radiators or doing tune-ups?" he roughly asked me.
I didn't answer his question as I backed up some more and bumped into the table that was situated behind the couch. A rapid sound pierced the angry room unexpectedly. My dad and I peered down with bewildered faces, glancing at the object that made the blustering noise. We both gazed down at the picture frame that lay broken on the ground.
It was a family picture that we had taken 5 years ago. It was taken after a game I had won back when I used to play in the junior leagues. It was back when I was 13 years old, my mom didn't travel as much, and when we were a happier family. That was the last photograph we had taken before everything started to change.
Before my dad started to antagonize me to play basketball and play it with superiority…
It now lay on the floor with the glass broken and the image deformed.
It was a portrait that I have seen before, but as I gaped at it, I realized something. The picture and frame were ruined because of my dad's persistence and words of persuasion.
'Do I really want to be shattered as the picture?' I asked myself.
The damage has been done, but I still had a way out.
"You know what Dad?" I heard myself say. "Do you know why Mom left?" I voiced with newfound power.
"I wouldn't know because she hasn't left," he answered back.
"Yeah she has and you know it," I replied rapidly. "She left because of you, because you're a bully. All you do is hammer people left and right as if you are better then all of us. Here's a reality check dad, you aren't. You are as damaged and mistaken as all of us, and even more. You don't care about the people you hurt or take down in the way; all you care about is your own triumph. You don't even care if you destroy or take down your own family, just as long as Dan Scott gets whatever he wants," I told him as I watched his face do something I had never seen it before, he was astounded at my audacity and correctness. "Don't you remember what happened to Uncle Keith?" I added, watching as his eyes flashed anger at my perseverance.
Trying to beat him at his own game…
Karma was being a bitch.
"I am your father Nathan," he shouted with rage. "Treat me with respect."
I began to smirk as I started to walk away from him and the destroyed frame, on my route to my room.
"I only treat people with respect when they earn it," I told him as I turned around and glared at him entertained. "Do you remember who taught me that?" I asked him. "'Treat others like you want to be treated…'" I mocked as I watched him stand, without saying a word.
Dan Scott actually speechless…
I turned back around and headed for the stairs, my Jordan's gradually stepping on the stairs.
"Oh and by the way dad, I decided that I am going to go to UNC, but on my own terms," I voiced, turning around quickly on the steps. "I'm going to continue to play ball, but not work as hard as you always pushed me," I declared while I watched him slightly flinch at my declaration. "Oh, and I'll be moving out in a few weeks," I added as I turned around and headed for my room.
"Nathan," my dad finally called out, angrily and powerfully.
But his strong voice didn't scare me as I continued to march; it didn't have the same effect on me anymore.
I didn't even stutter.
I knew that I was the bigger man and that his vein pulsing with rage.
I smiled, finally feeling complete relief as I closed my bedroom door. I was finally in the mood for some soft and lighthearted music.
Just right for the mood that I was currently in…
It definitely has been a good day.
AN: Hey you guys! How'z it going? Now, I was in the mood to update so I worked on this update yesterday from what I started weeks before and today I finally finished it! Yay. I know that it doesn't measure up to the last chapter because honestly, what can? LOL. But I did the best that I could do and as you guys can tell I kinda laid off of the thesaurus a bit as well because I am using this other computer that is crap. Well let's just say that my computer went 'skitzo' like Janet calls it so I have to use the back up computer. But anyways...
So did you all like the symbolism in this chapter? Huh? I kinda used a little less italics this time because a lot of the emotion Nathan felt was spoken or just written so I didn't see such a need to include then in italics this time...
Well another chapter down, one to go with an epilogue! Excited? Yeah, I am! LOL. Well just a bit, but this has been my favorite fic and I am kinda sad to see it go. Oh man...well anyways, congrats are in order for this fic because it won Best POV in the TWA, Round 5! Yay! Look at my pretty award! http:img. anyways, thank you all so much for all your wonderful words in the previous chapter! They really inspire me when it comes to updating because without you all, I don't know where I'll be right now. So please once again, bless me with your wise words and reply. They really make my day :)
BTW, Lisa, I like to use big words in my updates, it kinda makes it a little more challenging for the reader and for me, helps expand my vocabulary you know. But I have to say that I toned down a bit the thesaurus so hopefully this isn't so challenging as the previous.
BTW, just wanted to tell you all that I am going to just focus on this story and finish it up. I am going to start the next update next week and hopefully have it done by mid or by Friday. Crossing fingers Then a couple days later I'll post the Epilogue. I really want you guys to write down your thoughts on what you think happened to the characters and once the epilogue is up, you'll see if you were on the mark :) Also, I just wanted to let you all know that I wrote a one partner based off of Nathan's thoughts in A Hero Dies in this One. It is called Faded Dreams and if you want to read just click my name and on the title. You know that I don't disappoint! ;)
So thank you everyone and I can't wait to read your comments. Thank you all so much for being with me every step of the way, I do greatly appreciate it!
