6H: Welcome back everyone! Sorry for the delay. School, life, Shattered Fragments (which you should really read if you like this fic...)
Anaretsu: STOP trying to advertise your stupid fanfiction!
6H: I can if I want. Anyway, enjoy our next hilarious chapter.
It's Ansem's Show!
Chapter 2-Where's a Rant on Darkness when you need it?
"La la la...darkness, darkness, darkness..."Ansem sang cheerfully as he walked into the studio. His guardian covered its ears upon hearing the discordant sound-Ansem did not sing well at all. He had with him a new stack of letters for this week's show. It was time for him to give advice to his faithful fans.
"Welcome back, everyone. It's time for me to read some of your letters. Let's see who's first..." he reached inside the box and pulled out a pink envelope. The letter was written on nice stationary and had very neat handwritting. "Okay...
Dear Ansem,
A little while back, my two friends and I were seperated due to a storm
on our island, and now we're all apart, with me being left behind. The one
promised to come back for me, and I'm hopefully waiting but something has
just happened to me-another boy on the island asked me out! I know my friend
will keep his promise, but this other guy's carribbien accent is too hard
to resist! What should I do?
Signed,
A girl left behind."
"Well, my dear, it seems to be a tight spot you have there...so I'll give you a fool-proof plan that'll make everyone-espicially you-happy. I say go out with your carribbien friend-that is, until this other boy get's back. As soon as he returns, ditch your boyfriend and then everyone is happy. Next!" He threw the paper behind him. Relutantly, the guardian swallowed it down. "Alright, I have a new letter here..." This one was carved into a sand colored rock and was very short. It didn't take Ansem long to read it.
"Need Advice. Was used by Flamming-hair man. Can't defeat my rival." It read. Ansem rolled his eyes.
"Well, you do need adive, that's for sure. Try writting on paper next time. Anyway, get over being used-it happens to the best of us. "Ansem slightly snickered when he remembered how easy it had been to take over Riku for his own uses..."Uh... anyway, it is very easy to posess people and get them to do what you want, so it's not such a big deal that this "Man-with-flames-for-hair" used you to get what he wants. As for your rival, just stab him in the head while he's sleeping." He threw the rock behind him. The guardian attempted the eat it, but ended up choaking on it instead. The guardian clutched his throat and began waving his free hand around wildly to attract the attention of his master for help, but Ansem didn't see.
"All right, let's try another one..."he said warrily. He took out a black piece of paper that looked particuarly sinister, and the message on it seemed to be written in something that looked alot like blood...
"Dear Man in the Talking Box,
I am Sepiroth-master of all! But you don't know that...so, I had been running around, conquering worlds, when suddenly, my rival shows up! Of all the arogant things to do-he just waltzs right in after some kid defeats me with a large unlocking device and says 'Oh, blah blah, I'm miserable, you're my darkness, blah...' and then we fight and it ends in a draw! I was so humiliated that I decided to torture some victims and then do some world hopping to see which ones were particularlly weak and would fall easily to me. That's when I saw the scareist thing ever. ONE OF MY VICTIMS BROUGHT BACK TO LIFE. It was awful. Please tell me how to get rid of this awful emigma. And you'd better give me good advice, because I had to kill my best victims for ink!
Signed,
Sepiroth-Master of all! But you don't know that...
PS-SUBMIT TO MY WILL!
"Well...Master of all, let me just say that I don't do the submitting-weak people do-to MY darkness. So you can't have the darkness-it's mine. Let me start by saying that you are a pansy. Your fight was a DRAW, for god's sake! A DAMN DRAW! That's nothing to get all weepy over! And if you are 'the master of all'-excpet darkness-then why couldn't you have defeated the little whimp who's your rival? About this emigma, why didn't you just kill them AGAIN? Man, you aren't very bright if you can't even figure that much out on your own. I wouldn't want you as Master of all expect darkness." Suddenly, a red light started blinking on his phone. "It's seems we have a phone call, people! Hello, this is Ansem's show, how can I help you?"
"I COMING FOR YOU, BASTARD! HOW DARE YOU CHALLENGE MY POWER!" Sepiroth yelled. Then the line went dead.
"Well, that'sallthetimewehavethanksforlistneingBYE!" Ansem jumped from his seat and ran out the door. A few seconds later, Sepiroth ripped down the door with his sword and stepped in cautiously.
"WHERE ARE YOU?" he yelled. "I have come for you, Ansem!" He looked around and saw the guardian on the floor, barely alive. "I'll kill you instead! Just to satisfy my homicidal urges!" He sliced through the guardian, who disappeared. Something heavy fell to the floor-the rock it had been trying to ingest. Sepiroth picked it up and read it. His eyes twisted in anger as he tried to clench the rock in his hand and break it.
"Damn you, Cloud..."he said.
6H: I hope you enjoyed that chapter!
Anaretsu: No, not really.
6H: The letters this time around- 1.Kairi, 2. Cloud, 3. Sepiroth (of
course.) Next time-Jack Skellington develops a strange allergy, the Magic
carpet needs help and writting lessons, and...Sora's mom needs adivce!
Good lord, it's getting hetic! Again, sorry for the delay on this chapter.
Hopefully, next time will be sooner!
