Ok here's the second chapter i hope you like it, and Thanx to watercircle for her review and thanx for your observations, i tried to pay more attention in the errors this time, thanx for all the things you said and i hope you like this chapter

Spin

Summary: ExtremelyAU Something happened in Tomoeda a long time ago and now it's all screwy and everyone's in a bad mood. Eventually SS

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You want to know what gets me the most?

Maybe if I grew up in a different time, in a different place, I would have turned out differently.

If I was just born a few months later, my parents would have had time to move. But no, they couldn't move, it would be too much stress on the baby. "We'll just move later," they lied to themselves. "Maybe after the baby is born."

You guessed it.

They never did.

It turns out babies can be really expensive. So what better than to open a themed restaurant in the magician capital of the world?

"What about California?" Tomoyo wants to know.

"Too many palm trees." Says Yukito.

Tomoyo and Yukito. The two redeeming qualities of Tomoeda. If I had been born a few months later, I never would have known them.

We're picking out colleges. Most people pick out colleges by what they want to major in.

Not us.

First we have to decide on a state, on a city.

When we leave, we're leaving together.

"What about Oregon, or what about... what about Seattle."

Yukito nods, "Lets go somewhere cold."

"Yea." That's me adding my two cents.

Tomoyo is wearing her orange shirt. It must be Tuesday. She only wears her orange shirt when she's in a good mood and she's only in a good mood on Tuesday. She calls it color therapy.

Speaking of therapy......"I have to go."

"Me too," says Tomoyo, "I have to go meet Meiling."

I don't think Tomoyo minds working with Meiling. Meiling isn't as bad as she used to be. See, when all this magician stuff came about and Tomoeda went the way of the damned, everyone was looking for the three most suspicious people.

Not me. I was looking for the three guiltiest people. And Meiling, she's got guilt written all over her face.

I think they feel guilty because of all the people accused of being magicians. It ruined a lot of people. Meiling got quieter, lost all her friends.

And since Tomoyo is on her own personal mission to save the students of Tomoeda high, she'll probably try to save Meiling.

I wonder if Tomoyo is going to Syaoran's house.

Who cares, it's therapy time.

I go to therapy because a lot of the kids in Tomoeda go to therapy. And since my mom is always jumping on the parenting bandwagon, she signed me up.

Therapy is fun, because I get to lie a lot. See, my therapist, Dr. Reed, he was always looking for something wrong with me.

Do I do drugs?

Nope.

Do I have any memories of child sexual abuse?

Nope.

He got frustrated because he couldn't find a single underlying problem. Not that I cause trouble a lot, but he thinks that at least one traumatic event has happened to every person.

So I started making up stuff.

I told him I saw my best friend get hit by a train.

'Oh Really?' He said.

Yep, and when I was six my mom left me in a pool and I almost drowned.

'Interesting' he said.

And did I mention I was adopted?

My official diagnosis?... Pathological Liar.

It's perfect, it's freaking perfect. A week later I leaned forward secretively and said, 'Did you know that there are magicians among us?'

'Are there?' he asked.

Yep, and I know exactly who they are.

I like Dr. Reed. He goes with the flow. He lets me talk about all my 'lies' in detail because he thinks my lies are a clue into my 'unconscious mind'.

'Unconscious mind' is a psychological, hoity-toity term for 'truths your not willing to admit to yourself'.

Denial. Repression. You learn a lot of these words in therapy.

I think Dr. Reed really gets off on this kind of stuff.

So here I am in his big fluffy armchair.

"My friend Kaho wants to kill somebody."

"Who does she want to kill?"

"I'm not telling you."

I'm so slick. See, I don't know who Kaho wants to kill. I'm making him think I know to get him frustrated. Psychologists have this confidentiality contract, If you don't mention a specific person that is targeted for murder, then they can't report it to the police. It's fucked up, but that's the way it goes.

I can tell him that Kaho has a gun, has a motive, knows exactly who she's going to kill. I can even tell him they day she plans to do it. But if I don't tell him the name of the victim, then he can't do a damn thing about it.

Sucks to be you, Dr. Reed.

Of course, this is all for my sick pleasure, I doubt he would do anything anyway, me being a pathological liar and all.

"Kaho is your friend now?" he asks.

"Did I say that?"

"Yes."

"Well, I did help her after she got hit by that car, she was really grateful."

"She got hit by a car?"

"Yea," I nod, "One of the magicians hit her with his car."

He leans back in frustration. He gets frustrated about the magicians because he can't figure out what magicians are a metaphor for in my life: My sense of isolation? My dislike of the state of the world?

Close, Dr. Reed, but no banana.

"She's fine though," I reassure him, "The magician healed her, he's in love with her, you know."

"Is he?"

"Yes, she's all he thinks about, he can't even remember my name because his head is so full of Kaho Kaho Kaho."

Dr. Reed leans forward and taps the tips of his fingers together, "This bothers you?"

"Wouldn't it bother you?"

"Are we talking about me now?"

Beating around the bush is what psychologists do best.

I'm gonna try to change the subject now, "I can read his mind."

"The magician?"

"Yes."

"What does he think about?"

"Kaho."

"Do you need to read his mind to know he's thinking about Kaho?"

"No, you can tell anyway."

"So why do you read his mind?"

"Because it's interesting"

"You find Kaho interesting?"

"I find his version of Kaho interesting."

"You find him interesting?"

Dr. Reed is starting to piss me off. "No, he's slow you know, I think he's mentally retarded, and did I mention he's gay?"

Dr. Reed furrows his brow, "I thought he was in love with Kaho."

Woops.

I look Dr. Reed straight in the eye. I can't let him get the upper hand. "Kaho is really a boy."

It wasn't a good idea to say that because now Dr. Reed is going to either think I'm gay or that I have gender identity disorder.

I know exactly how he thinks. Maybe he should be the one in the hot seat.

It's ok. If things start getting weird I can always discontinue the therapy. I'm 18 now, so I can do that. It's a good thing too because he can't tell my parents anything that I say.

"So Dr. Reed, do you think I should help Kaho kill somebody?"

Dr. Reed frowns, he knows I'm joking but he hates joking about death, "No."

I nod, "You're the expert, Doc."

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It's Tuesday night. Kaho called in sick so I have to work for her.

The regulars are here. And if Syaoran asks me why I'm not Kaho, I think I'll strangle him.

"Hi welcome to the Magic Blast Cafe my name is Sakura I will be your friendly waitress our soup of the day is vegetable can I get you something to drink or are you ready to order."

Syaoran opens his mouth to speak at his menu. I'm not sure if he's going to order or ask about Kaho. How about I just stop this before it starts? "Kaho called in sick, if you have a problem with me serving you I can get Rika to take your order."

The group looks taken aback. I'm feeling a little embarrassed. "I was going to say," Syaoran says looking down, "That we should maybe meet and work on Science tomorrow."

Oh.

"Sure... where at?"

I wonder what his house looks like. I wonder what his room looks like. Maybe if I see his room he'll seem like a real person.

"Can we just meet here after school?"

He has a weird voice, it's really like, breathy.

"I guess."

"Kinomoto," I turn my head to see Kaho walking towards me. I bet Syaoran is having a heart attack. I wonder what she's doing here. She walks up to me and grabs my hand, "We're going to a party this weekend."

She's got a fresh bruise on her cheek. Guess what: it's not from the car accident.

"We are?"

I hate parties.

She squeezes my hand a little, "Yep." She looks down at Syaoran and smiles her little fake smile. Syaoran looks like he's about to get run over by a truck. "You should come too Syaoran," she says, "It'll be fun."

Yea, sure it will Kaho.

It's really subtle when Syaoran freaks out. His body gets all rigid. His eyes widen slightly. If you weren't looking at him close enough you wouldn't be able to tell.

I wonder what Kaho is up to.

I wonder if Syaoran will show up. I'm sure he will, he'd probably do anything for her.

I wonder.... I wonder if Syaoran would kill for her.

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Iron 2 Sulfide. Plus Hydrochloric acid. Two.

Two Hydrochloric Acid.

"Are you ok?"

"Hold on, I'm thinking."

Two Two Two. Iron 2 Chloride.

Hydrogen sulf.....

I wonder why Kaho came to me.

"More coffee?" Kaho asks, smiling sweetly at Syaoran.

I push my mug to the edge of the table and she fills it up before swaggering away.

"That's your third cup." Says Syaoran.

"Fourth."

When I get nervous I drink coffee. When I drink coffee I get nervous.

Fifteen minutes ago I met Syaoran in the Magic Blast as planned. He wants me to look over his homework before we get started on our project. It doesn't surprise me that he knows I'm good at Science.

I have a couple claims to fame: I'm president of the science club, I work with Kaho.

You'd think he'd have to look me in the eye at least once, sitting across from me like this.

Nope.

He does this thing where he looks at your forehead, at the tip of your nose. Never the eyes.

It's ok, I don't look at his either.

Too weird.

Ammonium Phosphate plus Barium Hydroxide.

"Sakura?"

Six. Six Barium Hydroxide.

Did he just say Sakura?

"Huh?"

"Is it too loud in here?"

I think he just said my name.

I shove some more coffee down my throat.

I hate watching Syaoran try to act normal. I hate watching him act like he doesn't care Kaho is strutting around in front of us.

I hate watching Kaho try to act normal. I hate watching her act like she doesn't care she wants to kill somebody or that she has a bruise on her cheek. I know she cares. I'd care.

She's on the phone now. I think she's yelling at it.

I push Syaoran his homework back, "It looks fine to me."

He's not paying too much attention to me now. He's trying to hear her conversation.

I wonder if he worries about her.

I wonder if he wants to be her knight in shining armor, carry her away to another place, live happily ever after.

He's got these arms, these perfect arms. When he leans against the table, his arms push more out of his shirt.

His hair is always itching to his forehead.

Who cares?

This is the thing about coffee. You can never keep your mind on one topic. You notice stupid details that you never noticed before.

He's been walking around without a jacket. He probably doesn't want to admit he left it here because the last time he tried to get it, he hit his love interest with his car.

"You left your jacket here."

"I did?"

When he talks to you, you just know he's thinking about something else.

"Yea."

"Cool, I was looking for it."

Bet you were, Syaoran.

Kaho slams down the phone and starts walking around with the pot of coffee like a zombie.

I want to help Kaho. I don't want to help her kill somebody, I just want to help her.

She came to me. I have no idea why she came to me. She knows she can't use her influence on me. It must be something else. Maybe she just thinks I can help.

I gesture to her and she walks over and slumps down next to me. Syaoran's eyes narrow when she leans her head in my shoulder. I like that Syaoran thinks me and Kaho are good friends. He'll probably pay more attention to me.

Not that I want him to pay more attention to me, I just want him to remember my name.

I wonder if me and Kaho are good friends.

"You wanna spend the night at my house?" I ask her.

Truth is, I was gonna ask if she wanted to stay with me before Johnny Soccer Hero said anything. I just didn't want to give him the satisfaction.

"No." she says.

I can tell when no means yes.

"The Breakfast Club is on TV tonight."

I know what she's going to do now. She's going to pretend that she really likes The Breakfast Club, so much that she has no other choice than to spend the night at my house.

If we were alone, she would probably just say yes. But Syaoran is here, so she has to play it cool.

"I love that movie."

"I know."

"I don't know if my parents will let me."

"So don't ask."

She smiles. She likes when I appeal to her rebellious side.

'Cause little cherry blossom doesn't usually have a rebellious side. Not one that she knows of, at least. Not one that she knew of until I covered up those bloodstains like a pro.

"I'll come by later," She says as she gets up and walks away.

"You guys are pretty good friends, aren't you?" Syaoran asks.

"Apparently so."

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Syaoran and I decided to work some more on our project tomorrow. He says that we should go somewhere else, that we should go to his house. It doesn't surprise me because Kaho isn't working tomorrow.

He probably has her schedule written down somewhere.

Why does that make me sick.

It's a rhetorical question.

I can just imagine those two. Living the American Dream. A white picket fence and two kids. Syaoran, with his trophy wife and magician powers that are oh so handy around the house.

I bet their drains would never get clogged.

I bet their grass would never turn yellow.

I wish I could just go to sleep and quit thinking about this.

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Sometimes, when things spin really fast, you can't even tell if their moving anymore. You can't tell if it's still spinning or if everything has come to a dead halt.

Touya brings Kaho over late Wednesday night, and I can tell by their faces that something happened. I don't see any new injuries on Kaho but Touya looks devastated.

Kaho has got this vacant look in her eye and you can tell she's getting lost in her head.

I invite them in.

"I think it's her dad," Touya says sadly, "But I don't know, she won't talk to me."

"So what do we do now?" He asks.

Kaho breaks out of her trance for a few seconds to say, "Nothing, I've got it all figured out."

I've heard her say that before.

Don't worry little cherry blossom. Kaho has got it all figured out.

I resist the urge to call Dr. Reed. We need more information, I'll call him tomorrow. Before Touya leaves he kisses her head softly and whispers "I love you." I think he's about to cry.

Kaho's voice becomes shaky when she says it back, you can tell she's struggling for control.

I feel a twinge of sadness that Syaoran wants to break this up.

I give Kaho some pajamas and tell her that she is going to stay with me for a while. I don't even bother asking her now. My mother will understand.

There is something different about me and Kaho now. She clings to my arm when we watch television. I never thought I had any motherly instincts but their surfacing now. I taped The Breakfast Club so that we could watch it. After a while she actually starts smiling and laughing. "I'm the Molly Ringwald character," she says, "And Touya is the Jock."

"Which one am I?" I ask.

"Your the crazy one," she smiles and looks up at me like she knows something that I don't. "Aren't you?"

"I don't know."

I don't know, maybe I am the crazy one.

That night I have a dream. Syaoran is in it. I'm on a roller coaster that I can't get off of. It just keeps on going around and around. At the end of the ride is a tunnel with a huge drop. Before I go into the tunnel, Syaoran waves at me from the sidelines.

This is what Dr. Reed would say my dream was about: sex.

This is what Dr. Reed says that all dreams are about: sex.

I think Dr. Reed sleeps with old volumes of Freud in his bed.

The bullet shaped roller coaster, he would say, is the phallic symbol. And the tunnel? Use your imagination and you'll figure it out.

And the drop? Climax.

Dr. Reed would say that I want to have sex with Syaoran.

Think again, Dr. Reed.

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I'm in Syaoran's room.

The boy has parents.

He actually has parents.

And he reads books.

And I wonder when he finds enough time to stop thinking about Kaho and read a book.

Good books: Vonnegut, Bradbury, Orwell, Ballard, Palahnuik.

Pre-apocalyptic fantasies, I call them. The world ending, one person at a time. One life at a time. Some of these books have hopeful endings. I usually ignore that part.

"What are you doing?" Syaoran asks as he walks into his room. He just came from the bathroom.

I'm invading your privacy, that's what I'm doing.

"You read books." I state like an idiot.

"Don't we all?"

"You'd be surprised."

He shrugs and begins to open his backpack, but hesitates. There is something he wants to say.

"Did you tell Hikari Horaki that I was gay?"

Uh oh.... this is bad.

Of course, I could always use this opportunity to teach you the fine art of lying. First, you have to pretend that you didn't even hear the question.

I sit down across from him on the floor, "Huh?"

"Hikari Horaki.... she said you told her I was gay."

I can tell this makes him really uncomfortable. He's got this kind of scowl/frown on his face.

Next, you have to pretend that he's not even speaking English, like you don't even know what he's talking about, "Gay?"

He nods, "Gay."

Next, you take some of the attention off of the lie in question, don't worry, we will get back to it later. I widen my eyes in shock, "Are you?"

He shakes his head wildly, "No."

"Cause it's ok if you are..."

"I'm not" he says sternly.

See, now that you've got him thinking about something else entirely, it's time to deny the lie. "I've never talked to Hikari Horaki in my life."

Dr. Reed says that the first step in getting over pathological lying is admitting that you have a problem.

When he told me this, I said, 'I have six toes.'

'We'll have to work on this some more,' he said.

Syaoran shakes his head and opens some of his books, after a while he frowns down at the assignment, "I don't see how were going to get this done by next Wednesday," he says. "We might have to meet a couple more times."

I nod.

"Is Tuesday ok?" He asks.

I can't do this Tuesday, I have therapy. I don't want to tell him that.

"I have a dentist appointment." I say, "How about Monday."

"I can't Monday," he says embarrassingly, "I have therapy."

Well at least he's honest.

And I can't control the laughter in my head, "Where at?" I ask, "At Sunny Glen?" Sunny glen is this huge shopping mall type building that is dedicated solely to mental health.

He nods.

"I go there too." I say.

"You do?"

"Yea."

"Who is your doctor?"

"Dr. Reed."

He smiles, "Me too."

HA!

"No way," I say leaning forward, "What is your diagnosis?"

"Umm," he looks up at the ceiling and lists off his identified problems, "Feelings of rejection and isolation arising from the abandonment of my biological dad."

"Wow, that's a good one."

"What's yours?"

Should I tell him?.... oh what the hell.

"Pathological Liar." I say.

I think I just admitted to have a problem, Dr. Reed would be proud.

He narrows his eyes at me, "So you just lie a lot?"

He'll soon learn, you never ask a Pathological Liar if they lie a lot.

"Nope," I say, "Not at all."

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Ok here's second chapter, maybe i put another chapter today but i'm not sure, thanx for reading and please send me a review ok??? Thanx!!!