Ok so here's a really short... well not that short, but is a short chapter, you'll se why in the end…

Well happy new year everyone!!!

I want to thank:

watercircle: Thanx for your comments, i'm really trying to pay more attention in the grammar but well... thanx for reading!!!

simplyxkitty: Hey Thanx for the things you said, i didn't thought i was good in writing but yeah…. Anyway thanx!!!

Katrid: Thanx… really and give my thanx to your friend also… and well I hope you keep reading ok??

So here's my new chapter:

Spin

Summary: ExtremelyAU Something happened in Tomoeda a long time ago and now it's all screwy and everyone's in a bad mood. Eventually SS

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Grunge, the new fashion statement sweeping across Tomoeda High like wildfire. Rei Ayanami is heard saying, "You know, I've always been a Nirvana fan."

A boy walks into the bathroom in new pants and comes out with holes ripped around the knees.

Tomorrow, I'm gonna try to get Kaho to dress like a clown, see if anyone comes out of the bathroom with a bulbous red nose.

So lunch just started, I'm at the pay phone, calling Dr. Reed. I do this sometimes on Wednesdays, he usually expects it. He should be starting his lunch too.

He says I'm too attached, that he shouldn't encourage me by taking my calls.

But he always does.

"Hello?" He says.

"Hey Doc."

"Hello Sakura, how are you today?"

"Fine, I just wanted to tell you, I haven't lied in almost half a day."

For me, this is almost a record.

"But we shouldn't get too excited," I say, "I haven't really had the chance."

When I'm done talking to Dr. Reed, I take a minute to stare out the window. It's so hot outside that everything is blurred by the heat rising off the pavement. Maybe it's a hundred and ten degrees, maybe it's a hundred and twelve. All you know is that you don't ever want to go outside again.

I'm eating lunch with Syaoran today, I'm sure he's going to ask me about Kaho.

In fact, I'm so sure that, if he doesn't, I'll move to Tibet and become a monk.

Kaho is eating lunch with Rika today, to get her off our backs.

So I walk down the halls, next to the row of lockers.

Kaji Ryuji says, "You. Me. Party. Saturday night."

And I look at him, "Whose?"

"Mine. They're always mine. That was my house you were at last weekend."

I go, "Oh."

He nods.

Then I go, "What would you think, If I went to this party with you and I was fantasizing about somebody else the whole time?"

He smiles, "Kinky."

I say, "Get a haircut."

He says, "Wear the red sweater."

"I have two."

"The darker one."

I nod and he starts walking backwards.

"Get a good haircut," I yell, "And don't do uppers before you pick me up or I won't be able to stand you."

Brutal honesty, I do this sometimes. Makes people think. It usually doesn't last for long.

So, why am I going to a party with Kaji? I don't know. Maybe because I'm sick of thinking, I'm sick of feeling. I'm sick of wondering why I'm not doing anything or how responsible people are supposed to act. Maybe I'm tired of thinking about Syaoran and maybe I'm not. Maybe I'm tired of thinking about whether or not I should be tired.

Does that make sense?

I'm just drifting here, I'm just waiting for something to happen that doesn't involve me.

If this doesn't make sense, that's the point. It doesn't to me either.

So I meet my best buddy Syaoran in Gym-ville. It's crowded today, because of the heat. But we still sit alone. Touya thinks I'm a traitor, hanging out with the enemy.

I don't feel like a traitor.

I hope someday Touya will understand all of this.

Across the gym, Eriol and Meiling are hanging out with Yukito and Tomoyo. They sit in a nicely spaced circle, Tomoyo is slightly blushing. You can tell they're not used to each other yet.

Me and Syaoran sit next to each other with our backs against the wall, sucking on our respective boxes of grape Kool-Aid. I hope he doesn't bring up Kaho because I don't feel like talking about dead people at lunch.

"You got rejected too." I say, pointing my straw across the gym at his friends.

"Yea, they'll get over it," He says, "They always do."

We're sitting so close that our arms are touching. This is what best friends do.

He pulls a picture out of his backpack and hands it to me. It's a field of orange flowers.

He says, "Poppy reserve, Fukuoka."

Sitting in the field is Syaoran's nuclear family, a long time ago.

In my head, me and Syaoran are getting married. No, scratch that, we decide not to get married because we agree that marriage is an institution, a piece of paper, a market. Instead, we decide to just live together. We get this little apartment and decorate it with junk. We don't have kids yet because Syaoran says he wants me to himself for at least a couple years. In my head, Syaoran is really cheesy romantic like this. But in my head, I'm learning how to take a compliment. We get a cat, a furry gray cat. We name him Kero.

In the picture, a ten year old Meiling is wearing a jean jacket with hot pink rhinestones. You can tell this was taken in the early nineties. Little Syaoran has one arm around his cousin and one arm around his mom, who is crouching down to his level. The orange flowers reach for miles into the background, pure orange until they reach the powder blue horizon. The flowers look like their falling over the edge of the world.

I say, "Wow."

I say, "Your hair has always been a mop."

He gives me a 'screw-you' smile and grabs the picture. "We should go."

"To Fukuoka?" I ask.

"Yea."

"That's like a sixteen hour drive."

"So."

I would tell him to take Kaho if I wanted to talk about killing people right now.

"I don't have time," I say.

"When school is over."

"Why?"

"Why what?"

"Why me?"

Then he thinks. "Well," he says, "We have fun, don't we?"

Brutal honesty time. I say, "Whatever will Kaho think?"

He says, "She won't care, she knows we're good friends."

"Well, don't you have fun with Kaho?"

"Yea, but we do different things."

"Like, say, boinking?"

"No.."

"What then, planning murders?" I say.

Uh-oh.

He just looks at me for a second, eyes on my forehead.

I know that was really fucked up.

"Forget it," He says.

He's about to get up when Kaho walks by, she leans down and whispers to us, "Can you guys meet me at my house Friday night, there's some stuff I wanna get and I don't want to go alone."

I smile, she's finally trusting me on stuff like this. Maybe that murder deal was a passing thing.

I tell myself that I don't give a rat's ass if Syaoran is mad at me.

So we go on like this.

We get through Wednesday.

We get through Thursday without talking.

I get through Thursday without talking to anyone.

In my head, me and Syaoran are having our first fight. We make up quickly, we both admit blame, we just don't want to fight anymore.

In my head, me and Syaoran are... hehe... making up.

He picks me up on Friday and we make it through the car ride without talking. When we get to Kaho's house, her car isn't there.

I say, "She's not here yet."

He nods.

I say, "I'm sorry."

He doesn't look convinced, he says, "Lets go for a walk."

So we walk.

And it's just one of those days.

One of those days where the heat sucks all the life out of you, you can't even think. One of those days where the sun is going down and it's still one hundred degrees outside. The heat is so dry, and when you walk, you can feel that some places are hotter than others. It swirls around you, it entrances you, it stings your eyes. It makes your heartbeat slow to save energy. It makes you lethargic and apathetic.

The bugs that come out when the sun goes down chirp in rhythmic patterns, hypnotizing patterns. You could get lost when it's like this, you could lay down one someone's lawn and fall asleep.

There's only a little bit of light left now, everything is turning greyish-blue. Syaoran wipes some sweat off of his forehead and looks at a darkened little house. He looks over the gate into their side yard. He opens the gate.

I say, "What are you doing?"

He says, "Going swimming."

I just stand there. I'm thinking breaking and entering.

He talks in broken sentences because it's so hot and you have to save energy. "Nobody's home," he says, "It's hot. We swim."

I follow Syaoran into the back of someone else's house trying to figure out what is going on. He says, "You'll break into Dr. Reed's office with me but you won't break into a swimming pool?"

He takes off his shirt.

I'm not saying a thing.

He takes off his pants and jumps into the pool in his boxers.

Not one dirty thought is passing through my mind.

I swear.

He says, "Come on, I forgive you already, get in." He splashes my feet.

And I say, "Turn around."

He rolls his eyes and turns around. I'm thinking this is maybe one of those intimate platonic best friend things. Girls do stuff like this together right? Go swimming in their underwear?

Right. So why should it be different for two best friends that happen to be a boy and a girl?

It's not sexual, you know. At least for him it's not.

So I take off my shirt, kick off my shoes, take off my pants. I get in before I let him turn around. The water is freezing and it feels good. It's like a shock to the body, a wake up call. It pulls you out of your trance, details start becoming more clear.

The pool light isn't on, so the water looks like black tar, you can't see underneath it. Good thing, because my very unsexy white cotton bra is probably doing nothing in the way of privacy.

I say, "If you ever have any doubt that you're more insane than I am, you better remember this night."

I swim over to the stairs of the pool and sit down, rubbing some water over my face. Syaoran swims over and sits next to me.

"I'm not gonna kill anyone," he says, "If that's what you think, I'm just worried about her, I just want to help her get through this."

I nod, "Me too."

He puts his arm around me in his friendly platonic best friend sort of way, "We'll get her through this."

"We really need to do something, Syaoran," I say, "We need to turn him in."

He nods.

I continue, "I know Kaho doesn't want it, I know it will cause all sorts of trouble, but we can't do nothing anymore."

"She's really confused," He says, "She'll forgive us for it."

I say, "Yea."

He's looking at me weird now. I'm looking straight ahead but I can see him looking at me, at my shoulder. He's grinding his jaw a little, he does this when he's thinking really hard.

I'm thinking platonic platonic platonic.

The stars are showing up now, they're reflecting off of the black water, so is the moon. The water, it's sparkling, shimmering silver on black, quivering.

He pokes at my cheek gently with his finger, "You're turning purple," He says, "You're cold."

Platonic.

He touches my lips with his finger and I can't move. My eyes slide over to look at him through the corner of my eye, he's looking at my lips. He says, "Your lips are purple."

Sometimes people have these really platonic relationships but are really close. You know, like it wouldn't be so weird for say, Tomoyo to touch my lips and tell me they're purple, I think.

I look down at my arm, my skin has turned this greyish-purple color. I'm freezing. I look dead.

He says, "Are you cold?"

I say, "No."

He closes his eyes and the hand he has around me starts rubbing on my shoulder.

Platonic.

Platonic.

He stops and stands up, he's smiling nervously, he's looking at my chin. He stands in front of me and holds out his hand.

So I take it, because I can't move and I can't think and I have nothing better to do.

And he pulls on my arm, pulls me into him. He wraps his arms around my waist, he rests his head on my shoulder.

And since this is one great big happy platonic hug, I wrap my arms around his neck, and I hug him back.

Best friends do this sort of thing, you know. Best friends hug. He's isolated, he's confused, he needs a best friend right now.

Best friends hug.

For comfort.

He needs it.

I give it.

We're friends, platonic ones.

Problem solved.

And you know, I'm almost about to convince myself of this platonic bullshit.

Right up until he kisses me.

I can lie to myself, easy, but this is a hard one.

'Cause best friends don't make out.

His eyes are closed. He's kissing the side of my mouth, slowly, moving down to my chin.

And I just stand here.

If this isn't a nervous breakdown, then I don't know what is.

His lips are so warm that I almost forget that he has never looked in my eyes before.

He's got his arms around me so tight that not even water can get between us. I almost forget that this isn't what he wants.

When he reaches my neck, one of his hands moves up my back and tugs at my bra.

Funny how fast platonic turns sexual, huh?

I almost forget. There's all these feelings, good ones. And I'm not freezing anymore. And I've never been this close to someone. I almost forget.

I almost forget that I'm supposed to be nervous and scared out of my mind 'cause we just went from 0 to second base in 3.5 seconds. I almost forget that we're supposed to be somewhere else, helping someone... Kaho. I almost forget that he hasn't looked into my eyes, or that I'm not the one he wants, or that he's probably closing his eyes so hard because he's imagining I'm Kaho.

I almost forget that this isn't about me.

Almost.

So I'm going to do some rationalization. Defense mechanisms, I need them, I'm not ready to deal with this. Push my feelings aside, explain the situation in a rational manner.

Maybe Syaoran does this with Kaho. Maybe he doesn't care that she's thinking about Touya when she's kissing him.

Well, I care.

So I say something. And he's working at my neck so softly that I can barely talk. My voice is choked, whispered. You don't want to screw with the silence.

You could trip on the quiet.

Forget about the shimmering water and the quiet and the lips and the hands and the warm. It's not real.

I say, "What are you doing?"

My voice sounds more scared than I would like it too. I'm not scared, my feelings are pushed aside. I'm not anything.

I'm nothing.

I'm not even here.

He stops kissing my neck, he just stands there. His eyes are still closed. He's grinding his jaw again. He looks distressed, confused. "I don't know," he whispers.

This is me, speaking. I try to sound supportive, I try to sound caring. If I was a better actress, I would stroke his hair or some platonic best friend lovey-dovey shit like that. But I'm not. I say, "Your so close, to her, to having her."

This is me, choking, whispering. I say, "Don't mess it up, Syaoran. You deserve to get what you want."

This is me, trying not to think about Touya, trying not to think about how everyone's agenda is getting in the way of everyone else's.

He leans back, eyes still closed. He's got this painful 'I feel like a moron' look on his face. "I'm sorry," He says.

I believe him.

"It's ok," I say, trying to sound sincere, "Let's just go, we'll be late."

So we get out, we get dressed. We're uncomfortable.

My mind has shut off, it's running on a generator, on a back up plan. I'm just trying to walk straight. Concentrate on walking.

He's got that stoic look again, the one he gets when all his layers are up. But he looks sad. He looks sorry. He probably thinks he took advantage of me. He's probably feeling really bad.

I concentrate on walking. I concentrate on the wet spots forming on my sweater and how my underwear is really uncomfortable.

I concentrate on Kaho. We're going to help her now, were going to do something. She's gonna stop hurting. She'll be pissed but she won't be hurting. I'll tell Touya certain things. I'll tell him how scared she is, how there's stuff she's not ready to tell him, so don't push her.

Then I'm going to get myself out of this mess. What will happen to Syaoran, I won't know. I'm going to stop watching and observing. After Kaho stops hurting, I won't care what happens anymore.

When we reach Kaho's house, her car is parked in the front. I'm hoping that she's waiting in the car but she's not. So that's bad.

We ring the doorbell in the silence. We wait a few minutes, listening to the bugs chirping, wishing our clothes would just dry already. Wishing this day would just end.

Little did we know, this day wasn't going to end anytime soon. But keep in mind, we don't know this yet.

We hear a scratching behind the door, we see the light through the peephole turn black, someone is looking out it.

The door sways open and there is Kaho. This is the kind of deja-vu that you never want to have.

Kaho and blood. I've seen this all too often.

Only this time the blood isn't hers.

The look in her eyes is beyond zombie and she drops a blood covered knife to the ground.

She's shaking.

You don't want to look behind her, your afraid you'll see something you don't want to see.

And Kaho says, "You're late."

Then she breaks down. She cries. She cries like she's never cried in her life. "I couldn't.... do it," She says through her sobs. "I couldn't do it all the way."

This is me, trying not to panic.

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hehehe cliffhanger don't you hate me??? Ok don't answer that… so tomorrow is the next chapter… I hope… ok we're far from the end so… ok thanx for reading!!!