IN THE NAME OF LOVE

"I went over the diagnostic reports." B'Elanna was saying to Tuvok and Chakotay. "And I noticed a few discrepancies. First, the--"

Chakotay impatiently cut in, "You noticed discrepancies. Skip the explanation, I'll read the report later. Just answer this, B'Elanna-- Yes or no, was the warp core sabotaged?"

She looked him square in the eye. "Yes, the warp core was sabotaged."

"You are absolutely certain?" He felt sick.

"I have no doubt about it," B'Elanna replied.

"Can you tell who did it?"

"Whoever it was covered their tracks meticulously. I have no way to tell. The person sabotaged it sometime in between 2300 and 0100 hours. They deleted logs, left no trace whatsoever of what authorization they used to do it. They must know the ship's warp core pretty well. Too well."

"Off the top of your head, who has enough knowledge of the ship's systems to pull this off?"

"That I know of? Well, the Captain, myself, Lieutenant Carey," she hesitated a moment before saying, "Lieutenant Mehta, Seven, and Vorick."

"I think we can eliminate the Captain," Chakotay noted wryly, "And you, Seven, and Carey were ill at the time."

"And I think we know Vorick wouldn't do it. Besides, he wasn't even on duty at the time," B'Elanna added. "So that leaves Mehta."

"Not necessarily," Chakotay said. "Those people were just off of the top of your head. I'm sure there are more people who have it in their expertise to sabotage our systems."

"Of course, there always are," B'Elanna replied, refraining from pointing out to Chakotay how glaringly obvious it was that Mehta did it. This didn't seem to be the right time. Not yet. But B'Elanna made a mental note to herself to have a private talk with that traitor who had probably gotten the Captain killed.

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Renhika arrived in engineering with high spirits a few minutes before her shift. She greeted Carey genially, and he smiled back and nodded to her. She headed over to Torres, handing the Klingon woman a padd.

"Here's the warp bandwidth report you asked me for, Lieutenant."

"A bit early, isn't it?" Torres asked, her voice chilly.

"Well," Renhika said, "I had some time on my hands, so I just decided to finish it early."

"Oh, you're just so special, Mehta. Really," B'Elanna said, anger lacing her voice as she snatched the padd from the outstretched hand.

"Lieutenant, did I do something wrong?" Renhika asked, her eyes widened

B'Elanna stood up, wishing she could tower over Mehta. Instead, she had to make due with looking up into the taller woman's eyes. "I think we both know what you did." She growled.

"I'm not sure what you're talking about," Renhika said warily.

"Well then, let me clarify. You sabotaged the warp core, you told the Bromalians where the Captain was going, and you probably got her killed."

B'Elanna had a short leash on her temper, but it seemed to be escaping, making her voice shake.

Renhika had a momentary look of shock on her face as she unconsciously took a step back. Quickly, the old innocence returned. "I-I don't know how you came up with that, Lieutenant, but I would never--" She noticed Torres grow wild-eyed in front of her, and the engineer took a menacing step forward.

"Say it," she hissed. "Just say it. Chakotay may be blind, but I'm not! If you dare lie to me, I swear, I will kill you where you stand!"

Renhika was in a daze. She couldn't tell the truth, but she wouldn't dare provoke Torres. She found herself intimidated, scared of the woman despite herself. She whimpered, "Just leave me alone."

B'Elanna let out a bitter, harsh laugh. "You didn't give the captain that luxury, did you? But let me promise you one thing, Mehta," She drew in closer to the other woman. "When what you did gets out, you will have more enemies on this ship than you have ever had, and if it somehow doesn't ever get out, I will be enemy enough for all of them!"

Mehta usually didn't scare easily, but her shock at B'Elanna's knowledge gave her an alien cowardice. Mehta backed away, then she turned and blindly rushed out of engineering. B'Elanna stared after her in utter contempt.

"What's her problem?" Lieutenant Colmar asked Torres. B'Elanna glanced at him.

"She's had a bad day."

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Kathryn woke up on a bed for the first time in two months. She glanced around the dimly lit room and noticed that the only furniture in the place was the bed. Other than that, the room was bare except for a ceiling light.

It was another, more comfortable cell that her previous one (and certainly more comfortable than the Box, she added). The bed was somewhat hard compared to the one on her ship, but she was comfortable nevertheless. She also had woken up on her own, not by a rude kick to the ribs or having freezing cold water dumped over her like they had done once.

Kathryn heard the door open, and she glanced up to see Mordus standing in the doorway. "I hope you're feeling better than you were earlier." She was somewhat surprised about the change in his voice since the last time she'd met him. It was softer now, smoother, while before it had been loud and menacing.

"Yes, I do," she replied, not sure what else to say. What torture did he have planned for her?

"I take it you're hungry." He approached her slowly, cautiously. "There's food outside. I'll help you over there."

Kathryn didn't trust him, and suspected that this kindness was some sort of facade, but she nodded. He bent over and helped her to her feet, supporting her as she slowly made her way to the door. It was the first time Kathryn had really gotten a chance to walk, and she found that, with help, she could still do it.

They exited the cell, and he steered her over towards a chair. "Just sit here."

Kathryn lowered herself down, her legs already worn out from the short walk. He brought over a bowl of some sort of substance. Janeway recognized the taste immediately. It was something like Brexian Pokash, one of the commonly served meals while she was in the box, but it tasted rather good now.

She ate in silence. She felt his eyes on her as she choked down as much as she could as quickly as she could. A part of her was appalled that she was giving in like this, accepting his rewards when God knew what he'd ask for them, but she ignored that voice. All she knew was that she had never been so hungry in her life.

"So," she asked, when she was too full to eat anymore, "What's this all about?"

"This?" He asked.

"I mean this... act of kindness," she replied, gesturing to the food and to the room around her. He smiled, a dry, thin-lipped smile that wasn't especially pleasant.

"You may have a negative impression of me, you have reason to, but not everything I do stems from an evil, ulterior motive," he replied.

"Ah, but you must have something to gain out of this."

He smiled. "Actually, I was hoping to gain a dialogue."

"A... dialogue?" Janeway was confused now.

"A conversation?" He said, then as if explaining to a child, "To converse--"

"I know what a conversation is," she replied, a bit too quickly. Her voice softened. "I just didn't expect you to say that." She stared at him for a second, then smirked. "Are you and Hath'Hart doing some sort of good cop-- bad cop sort of thing?"

"I beg your pardon?"

Janeway leaned forward to rest her elbows on her knees. "On my planet, in the twentieth century, law enforcement officers used to interrogate people. One would be kind, one would be hostile. It would cause the suspects to trust and talk to the kind one."

He shook his head. "I'm not trying to wring information out of you, if that's what you're asking, but thank you for that information. I might try that approach in the future." He paused for a beat. "So, Captain, tell me about your planet."

"Excuse me? Tell you about Earth?" She stared at him. "Why?"

"Intellectual curiosity," he replied. "I've never traveled outside of Order space, and one can't help but wonder about outsiders. Tell me about this Federation of yours."

Janeway was still somewhat in shock. This... man who had hunted her for so long was now trying to be, for lack of a better word, social with her. She still couldn't quite tell what he was up to, but she decided it would be best to stay on his good side. Deciding to give the formal first contact lecture on the Federation, she began, "The United Federation of Planets stretches across seven thousand light years and consists of..."

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They had yet to find evidence about who the traitor was. They had gone over all of the suspects' communication's logs, and found nothing.

Now, a frustrated Chakotay was going over his transmission records. It was a semi-annual requirement that the Captain had strictly enforced. Now that she was gone, it had fallen slightly behind schedule, but he still felt the priority to finish what she'd started. If he didn't, it would feel like he was giving up on her, and he would never do that.

It had been over two months. They would reach Shrelton in a little over six weeks, but they'd also have to make stops for supplies along the way. The best estimates concluded that they would reach Shrelton four and a half months after the Captain's abduction. Chakotay told himself that he firmly believed they'd get Kathryn back alive, although most crewmembers had already given her up for dead.

The ship was quiet and lonely. Everything seemed more tedious and pointless now than it had ever seemed, and Renhika was driving him insane. The woman would never leave him alone. She would say that she felt upset about Kathryn's imprisonment as well, but then she wouldn't even bat an eye when Janeway was mentioned. She would say one thing, and seem to actually believe another. It was really getting on Chakotay's nerves. He couldn't seem to relate to Renhika anymore. She seemed like a stranger to him, one he never had really known up until now. He began to seriously consider calling it off.

He was so lost in thought that he almost didn't see the one transmission. It registered in the back of his mind and he snapped out of his trance and flipped back to the place.

It was a transmission sent from his quarters to the Bromalians a little over a day before Kathryn's kidnapping.

"What the hell!" He exclaimed, jumping up in his chair. He quickly noted the time and date, and checked the security log to see who had been in his quarters at the time. There was only one person: Renhika Mehta.

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Mordus had asked her about everything. Her life, her career, her family. Janeway couldn't understand what it was he wanted from her. He was agreeable at times, almost kind, but she had seen a darker side to him. When someone came, he would hastily shuffle her back into her cell and lock the door. Bits of their conversation would filter through the door to her, and she learned enough from the conversation to get a grasp that Mordus was not one to be trifled with.

One time when he was absent, a guard came in to feed her, and she asked him where Mordus was. He told her, then he left. That's all that had happened. When Mordus came back, he was furious at her for even speaking to the guard, ordering her never to speak to another person unless he had given her permission first. She never saw that guard again. Needless to say, she had been startled by that sudden outburst of his temper. He had never quite showed it to her before.

Another time, he was once again asking her personal questions. She answered them as best she could, but avoided really sharing too much of her personal life, especially his intense inquiries into her former lovers. He noticed she seemed to be stepping around things, and grew furious when she still refused to answer him. He had yelled at her in a paroxysm of rage, his entire body shaking and the vein in his forehead throbbing. Janeway, who had already seen his temper once before, wasn't too shocked to say anything back this time. She snapped back a reply, and he hit her. Hard. She was knocked down to the ground. He followed his backhand and knelt down and picked her up, pulling her up by the collar and pushing her against the wall.

"I don't want to hurt you, Kathryn, but don't push me!" He whispered, addressing her by her name for the first time. He kept one hand on her collar and grabbed her upper arm with the other and steered her back over to her cell. He shoved her in and slammed the door, locking it. She had had the bruise on her cheek for nearly a week. The worst of it had recently come when he asked her about her father. Kathryn had always been rather uncomfortable talking about him, and answered all his questions in monosyllables. He again grew angry, and Janeway grew angry as well. This earned her a black eye. She stood back up from where she had fallen on the floor. Mordus grew even more angry and hit her once again. She stumbled back, but managed to catch her balance. He grabbed his rifle-like weapon (Janeway hadn't seen it yet) and swung it like a bat, hitting her on the side of the head. Kathryn fell down, her body going numb underneath her and the world blackening.

He knelt over where she was lying, too disoriented to move, and hissed, "When I knock you to the floor, you stay on the floor until I say you can get up." He then stood up and looked down at her again. "You can get up." He then turned away and walked out of the cell, locking the door behind him.

Kathryn couldn't sit up. She lay for a few seconds more, then passed out. She passed in and out of consciousness for a few days before Mordus was convinced to get a doctor. He had been reluctant to allow her to see anyone. The doctor diagnosed her with a severe concussion and treated her.

There had been a few other times, but none so severe as the most recent one. He was growing steadily more and more possessive of her, treating her like she was his property. The day finally came that one of the guards blundered into not properly locking her door. Kathryn had hidden one of the utensils from her meals in her cell, an ice-pick like instrument. She already knew that Mordus slept somewhere else, so she didn't have to worry about him. Kathryn approached the lock and worked the utensil into it. She moved it around for a few minutes before she finally managed to open the door. The guard wasn't outside of her cell at the moment, undoubtedly off answering nature's call or something else. He didn't bother calling a replacement because he didn't expect her to break out.

She crept past him to where the weapon Mordus had hit her with was kept. She undid what she thought was the safety and powered the weapon up. Kathryn inched open the door to the outer room. She had never been past the outer room in her time here, so she made her way cautiously, not knowing what came next.

There were two guards talking. Neither of them noticed her come in the room, or when she raised the rifle. They were standing close together, and she took them out with one shot. It must have set off some alarm without her knowing it, for after she left that room, she entered a giant hallway. Kathryn hurried as fast as she could down the hall way. She passed a few rooms with open doors. Right as she was going past one of them, a shadowy figure came out and grabbed her rifle.

Kathryn kept her grip, not letting the person take it from her. The person then used her own strength against her by shoving the rifle forward, hitting her in the face. She involuntarily let go of the weapon as she stumbled back.

Mordus threw the weapon back into the room behind him and advanced on her. Janeway knelt down low, preparing for his attack. He came at her with blinding speed, grabbing her and effortlessly tossing her up against the wall. Before Kathryn could do anything, he was at her again, hitting her first with his fist, then back handing her with the same hand. He clubbed her down next to her neck on her shoulder, successfully knocking her down to the floor. At this point, Kathryn knew he had defeated her. When he had her on the floor she was in no position to fight him. Added to that was the fact that Mordus, no, Bromalians in general, possessed a far superior strength to that of a human, a mix between the controlled strength of a Vulcan and the untamed strength of a Klingon. Plus, Mordus was a huge man. He was larger than Chakotay, nearly a foot taller than Janeway, and probably weighed three times as much as Janeway did. She lay on the ground looking up at him, struggling to choke breath into her lungs.

Mordus knelt down and wordlessly lifted her up, dragging her bodily down the hall. He took her back to the cell, fury burning behind his cool composure. When she was in, he closed the door and slammed her up against the wall.

"What the fuck did you think you were doing!" He growled, angrily. "Trying to escape? I've treated you well, given you enough food, and this is how you repay me!"

"Go to hell, Mordus!" Janeway hissed, already regretting the words, considering Mordus's current mood. A snarl twisted across his lips and he slammed his fist across her jaw. He hit her again and again before he threw her away from the wall down to the ground. Mordus kicked her in the ribs. Janeway cried out and tried to get up as he aimed a kick again and got her in the stomach. She was knocked back down to the ground. Kathryn doubled up as the air was knocked out of her. Then he connected one with her face. This flipped her over onto her back, and for a moment, Kathryn was blinded by the sudden rush of blood that got in her eyes. He raised his leg and stomped on her head.

When she felt herself about to mercifully pass out, he momentarily stopped. "No, no, you're not going to pass out on me yet. I'm not through with you." He said, panting. He lifted her up again. Janeway grimaced, pain throughout her body as he dragged her across the room and shoved her back up against the wall.

"What the hell were you thinking?" He demanded again, the look on his face torn between rage and an almost amusing perplexity. She fought back the urge to laugh at the absurdity of this. How could he not understand why she'd want to escape? She was a prisoner, for God's sake!

Unable to express these sentiments, she managed to choke out, "Fuck you!"

Mordus grabbed her by the neck, his body right up against hers to hold her to the wall, and tightened his fingers. Kathryn gasped, raising her hands to try to pry off his hands. His face was dispassionate, and the world started to go black.

"This hurts, doesn't it? You want me to stop? You want me to let go?"

Unable to nod her head or even choke out a word, her eyes flickered desperately up to his.

When his hands loosened around her throat, her entire body sagged. She was only held up against the wall by his body pressing against hers.

She didn't notice his hands upon her until her head cleared, or his lips upon her neck. Her gaze raked over him-- his skin was flushed, a bulge in his pants. She put her arms against his shoulders to try to break away, but her arms had no strength.

The sick bastard, she thought, struggling harder against him. He's aroused by pain.

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" You really should stop blaming yourself, Chakotay," B'Elanna was saying to him. "There was no way you could have known what she was planning."

Chakotay listened to her words but took no comfort from them. "Everyone saw Renhika for what she was except for me. Christ, B'Elanna, am I that blind?"

"You're not blind," B'Elanna said. "You just have, as I've told you before, bad taste in women."

Chakotay grunted. "Bad taste. I always seem to be involved with women who turn into traitors."

"Well, if you and the captain had ever been involved, I'm sure that wouldn't be the case," B'Elanna said.

She noticed the pain in his eyes when she mentioned the Captain. "Chakotay, I'm your friend. What is it?"

Chakotay paused, as if uncertain whether to reply or not, then finally said, "I don't know. I don't know whether or not to believe she is still alive. B'Elanna, in my heart, I have to. I love her, B'Elanna. Even if it isn't mutual, I love that woman. But all of the odds are against her being alive. And to know that it was done from my quarters... that I was having sex with the woman who betrayed her while god knows what the Bromalians were doing to Kathryn, it's-- it's just tearing me apart, Torres." He collapsed down onto a chair.

"Chakotay, do you think the captain would want you to agonize about this?" Torres demanded. "She'd want answers, and if she is alive, I'm sure she'd appreciate the fact that you are doing everything in your power to get her back. Besides, no one's killed her yet, and there's no reason to believe that she'll let them kill her now."

He smiled at her, a mirthless smile that didn't even reach his eyes. "You have some very valid points, B'Elanna. I just wish I could be as optimistic."

"Hey," B'Elanna said, trying to cheer him up a bit. "Don't get all melodramatic on me now."

He glanced at her, appreciatively. "Thank you, for everything. I just can't stop thinking about her, what she's going through."

"No problem." B'Elanna replied. "Besides, I have no doubt she's more worried about how you're holding up right now than about herself."

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Mordus hesitated momentarily, staring into Kathryn's eyes. When she felt him against her, for a moment, he saw a flash of naked fear run across her face. It was the first time he had ever seen that reaction from her, and only helped arouse him even more, giving him a sense of empowerment over her that he hadn't quite felt yet. He'd been planning on taking her at some point, but he had waited for the right opportunity. Here it was. It served the bitch for trying to escape.

His hands on her neck fell to her shoulders as he put weight on them to ease her down to the floor. She was already in a weakened state, and couldn't fight him.

"Don't," She hissed, her hands flying to his wrists to try to pry his grip off of her shoulders. As he shoved her down onto her back, she repeated more urgently, obviously fighting down panic, "Don't!"

"Shhh," Mordus whispered, moving his body on top of hers, his hand moving up to her throat again.

Kathryn desperately pushed against him, struggling. Her head was throbbing and her body cried out under his weight. One of his hands was holding her down by the shoulder, his other one was resting near her throat, and his legs were pinning her legs down. He seemed to be having little difficulty holding her down. Unable to do anything else at the moment, Kathryn resorted to clamping her teeth down on his hand.

With an inarticulate curse, he withdrew his hand and brought it back down in a fist against her jaw. Her head bumped the ground with a painful thump. Kathryn felt herself grow dizzy again and her body started to stop responding to her. His hand returned to her shoulder and the other hand grabbed her by the neck. He was choking her once again, and Janeway used both her arms to try to pry him off, becoming desperate for air. She was too much in the struggle to notice what else was going on. She vaguely felt the chilly air against her skin when her pants were torn off.

He relaxed his grip for a moment, allowing her to get a bit of air, then tightened it again while he simultaneously entered her. Janeway would have screamed if she had any air. The pain was horrific. He thrust into her again, harder, and then again, grunting in pleasure. Kathryn knew that her face showed everything she was feeling, the pain, the terror, the humiliation, but she couldn't hide it right now. Mordus feasted in it, staring down into her face as he held her down, simultaneously choking her and thrusting into her. She once again had to focus on the hand gripped around her neck, choking the air out of her. She felt on the verge of passing out, the world spinning around her, seeing Mordus thrust into her but not feeling it. It all seemed ethereal momentarily before he suddenly did a last, hard thrust and convulsed.

His hand around her throat loosened. He fell on top of her, sweaty and panting. Kathryn lay underneath him, unable to get up, helplessly gasping for air.

After he had regained his breath, he glanced down at her. "Don't you ever try to escape again," he repeated. That was all he said. Kathryn moved her head to the side. It was all she could do to keep from shrinking underneath his gaze. He wordlessly got off of her and pulled up his pants. Kathryn wasn't sure when he left the room, but when she finally had the courage to look up again, he was gone. She was too in shock to even cry, to even feel the emotions in the aftermath of her rape. She simply lay still, in shock, until her injuries got the better of her and she passed out.

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Chakotay was watching Tuvok interrogate Renhika. Tuvok had asked her a few meaningless questions about how she had done what she had done. Finally, he asked the one Chakotay was interested in hearing. What her motive was.

She didn't answer Tuvok on this one. She instead looked over Chakotay. "I did it because I love you, Chakotay," She whispered.

"Lieutenant--" Tuvok began, but Chakotay held up a hand to silence him.

"You did it because you love me? How is killing my best friend showing you love me?" Chakotay demanded.

"Because," Renhika said, voice strained. "I knew you loved her too. I-I wanted us to be together, alone. Undisturbed. And you know we never could have done that if she was still around."

Chakotay was in shock. "You did this because I told you--" He stopped short. My god, why didn't I realize how sick this woman is?

Tuvok continued the interrogation, but Chakotay was too stunned to pay any attention. An overwhelming sense of guilt came over him. If it wasn't for him, Kathryn never would have been captured. It's the same as if I killed her with my own hand.

When the interrogation was over, he began to stumble towards the door. Renhika watched him silently for a few moments before she leaped to her feet and called out, "It was the right thing to do, Chakotay! I did it all for you... It was all in the name of love!"

Chakotay shuddered before he plunged out into the corridor. Before the doors slid heavily shut behind him, he heard Renhika laugh, her laughter Metallic and unnatural, crying with glee, "It was in the name of love!"

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Kathryn woke up. Her memory came back to her, and she felt the panic rise in her again as she relived the experience. She had never felt so humiliated in her life, or so degraded. Kathryn attempted to untangle herself, to sit up, to do something, but she couldn't. She could only lie on the ground, gasping for precious air that both gave her life and burned her hoarse lungs. She wished she could stop hyperventilating, but she couldn't calm down.

Suddenly, a tremor ran through her body and she began to shake violently. She couldn't compose herself, nor could she struggle to help herself; all she could do was curl up in a ball and try not to tremble or freeze to death.

She became aware of how cold she was, but she couldn't do anything about it. The pain was everywhere, both inside and out.

So in this dark room she lay, a humiliated ball of defeat, praying for an end to come. For death to finally come and end her torment.

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She must have been lying like that for hours. She didn't move, she didn't think. She simply saw and felt the blackness and the pain around her. Kathryn stayed like that until a single thought came into her mind: No. This one word brought her out of her unthinking darkness, reviving her mind and opening her eyes, infusing strength into her aching body and purpose into her broken spirit. No! She thought again. She wouldn't let herself lie here, like a victim. She felt strength flow through her veins; she was empowered by the sudden rush of anger that flowed through her. The hatred. It was these single emotions that broke through her darkness and brought her out, willing her to get up, not to give in.

She was on her feet without realizing it, gritting her teeth to keep her legs from going out from under her as she staggered over towards what was left of her pants. She was still unsteady as she pulled them on, composing herself as best as she could. She ran a shaky hand through her mangled hair, feeling the tangles all about. Kathryn felt blind hatred, deeper than any she had ever felt before. It went down to her very bone and fueled her. Janeway soon was as well composed as she could be. She paused, looking around, wondering what she would do.

Finally, she settled on moving back into one of the corners. She leaned back against the wall and slid into a sitting position on the floor, glaring at the door. She would stay awake. When that bastard came into the room again, she would not be taken by surprise.

A few weeks later, Chakotay was sitting in his quarters. His stomach was doing flip-flops. He was as nervous as hell. They were going to reach Shrelton within the next two weeks. It had seemed like Kathryn had been gone for so long, and he wondered if she'd still be alive when they got her back, if they got anything back at all. Tuvok hand warned him that it might be difficult to get her out. First thing was the matter of getting to Shrelton. It was a Gatekeeper Planet, and strictly controlled and populated by Bromalians. The next problem was how they'd find out which gateways went to Axarus. The third problem was how to find Janeway and rescue her from wherever she was.

For Chakotay, there was a fourth problem: How to face her. He didn't doubt that she'd be furious with him when she found out about Renhika, probably pull an "I told you so, Chakotay." He almost hoped she did. Right now, a firm rebuke from Kathryn Janeway was very welcome. He vaguely remembered something he'd believed a while back, before her capture. He'd pledged that to get Janeway, they'd have to fight her to the death, and before that, fight him to the death. And where was I? He wondered. Going around with Renhika. He felt sick. He didn't know who he hated more, Renhika or himself.

The most painful thing about all this was the fact that the last time he'd seen her, they had been angry at one another.

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Kathryn woke up on her stomach, bound hands and feet, with Mordus still asleep on top of her. Since the initial encounter, he'd been coming two to three times every day, treating her more like property than ever. He had stopped asking her questions. He'd simply enter the cell, slam the door behind him, subdue whatever struggle she put up with him, do what he had come to do, and either fall into a deep sleep or wordlessly leave.. In fact, she was in her cell all of the time now, the only company was his and that of the guards who brought in food. Mordus was using her to indulge in whatever sick fantasies he could concoct, trying ever so hard to recapture the fear and desperation from the first time he had forced himself on her. Janeway had refused to give him the satisfaction, no matter what he tried on her. He had asked her questions about the ship, but she still wouldn't budge on that. However, he didn't seem so angry about her not answering his questions anymore. Not like that mattered.

When Mordus finally woke up, he cut off the ropes and was dressed, leaving without a word.

Janeway stumbled out of the bed and managed to pull on the tattered remains of her clothes. A guard came in to give her a meal, the same Brexian Pokash that he always brought. Janeway couldn't help feeling his gaze on her, a dirty look. She felt so dirty, like she was a whore of some kind. Her humiliation must have been evident, for he smirked at her before he left.

Kathryn eyed the Pokash with a sick feeling in her stomach. She remembered it from when Mordus had given it to her the first day in his presence. She had thought it tasted good at the time. Now she hated it. It tasted like cardboard. The worst thing was that it reminded her, more than anything, of Mordus.

Her stomach was growling. If she wasn't starving, she wouldn't even have looked at the Pokash. Now, she cupped her hand (she wasn't allowed any more utensils) and scooped up a bit, bringing it to her mouth. She almost gagged, and her stomach did a flip. She spat it out quickly lest she puke.

Kathryn sank down to the floor right besides the bed. This room had become hell for her. This cell. It was so small and enclosed, and nothing but bad things happened to her in here. It was her prison. She closed her eyes, fighting back as a sense of claustrophobia came over her. She'd never been very claustrophobic before. It had never quite affected her. After the box, she had it slightly more. Now, this room that was about half the size of her quarters seemed like it was closing in around her. Kathryn bowed her head, closing her eyes. The darkness behind her eyes was vast, going on forever and ever. Like space.

She briefly wondered if she'd ever see space again, if she'd ever leave this planet. Her thoughts drifted to Voyager, wondering how they were doing right now. They began to focus on Chakotay. Kathryn felt despair rush through her as she thought of him. Throughout her entire imprisonment, her thoughts had invariably wandered to him. She always fought them off, tried to think of something less painful, but he was always there. She wished that she hadn't been on bad terms before they left. If she was never going back, she didn't want him to remember her like she was then. She wanted him to remember her like she was on New Earth, the most peaceful time in her life. Longing shot through her for that peaceful setting. The woods around them, meadows and streams, the monkey, and of course, Chakotay.

Gentle Chakotay.

She opened her eyes to face her reality. She was in a gray colored cell, imprisoned by a sadist out to own her who had repeatedly raped her over the past three weeks, her body was sore all over, and she was on the verge of giving in to her despair, on the verge of breaking.

Kathryn knew that with concentrated torture, she would have broken already, but that's not what Mordus wanted. He wanted her to give up because of him, to submit entirely, body and soul, to him. She closed her eyes once again, seeing the darkness that stretched infinitely in all directions. She longed for this darkness more than anything. It seemed as if it was calling for her.

It was in that moment Janeway seriously began to consider answering the call, traveling into the eternal darkness. It could only mean peace. It couldn't possibly be as painful as her life. She could exist in an oblivion, not even knowing that she was dead.

The thought was so tempting. Voyager seemed so far away. So very far away...

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When they finally reached Shrelton, Chakotay managed to bribe a Bromalian Captain into allowing an away team to be smuggled on his ship. Chakotay left Paris in charge of the ship, and he, Tuvok, Torres and Carne were taken down to the surface. There were many very wealthy parts of the planet, and many very poor parts. They stayed in the slums, blending in fairly well, seeing as there were mostly aliens in the bad parts.

There was a large building where something like two hundred people were sleeping. They decided to stay there, sleeping in the dirty hallways. They were dark, dank, and smelled like defecation. There were open windows (no glass) and stained walls. "Pretty disgusting," Torres murmured.

"Lieutenant, such comments are not conducive to the efficiency of this mission," Tuvok told her.

Torres shot him a withering look, then her eyes once again flickered around the hall.

"Hopefully," Chakotay said, "this won't take too long. I want to find the Captain as soon as possible." He glanced around, then turned to Torres. "You and Carne find a suitable place in here for us to stay--"

"You actually think there will be a suitable place in this shithole?" B'Elanna asked. She was somewhat out of her element today, but she gestured for Carne to follow her nonetheless.

"Tuvok, let's get started. We need to find those gateways and find out how to make them work," Chakotay said. Tuvok nodded and they proceeded to leave the building.

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"What's wrong with you?" Mordus demanded, curious as to why she wasn't putting up much of a fight.

Kathryn didn't even hear the question. She had her eyes closed. Her mind was off in the darkness, as if it was an out of body experience. It didn't matter what happened to her, he'd never be able to get to her when she wasn't there.

Mordus finished what he had come to do, then he lay and relaxed. He ran his hands briefly over her body, studying it. "You're too skinny. You look like a skeleton. It's quite unattractive," He commented. "You haven't been eating very much lately. Don't make me get someone to stick a tube down your throat." She still didn't reply. He was irritated by her lack of response, which he considered defiance. "Open your eyes." When she still did nothing, he slapped her across the cheek, then forced her eyelids open with two fingers. Kathryn still did nothing, and he stared at her for a moment, then let them snap closed.

"Lord Mordus!" One of his men called from outside. "You have a transmission coming in!"

Mordus stared down at Janeway once more. "I'll be there!" He called back. He stood up and was out of the room in a few seconds. Kathryn didn't feel any sense of relief. Instead, she just knew that he'd be back. She wanted to die. At least if she was dead, her torture would be over. She stared for a bit longer at the blackness before she finally opened her eyes again to see the gray room.

This room had become her universe. Within its walls was her entire existence. Her entire life, all her accomplishments, had come down to this. Second in her class at the academy, distinguished service during the Cardassian conflict, achieving Captaincy at the young age of thirty-one... It ended here. Being completely controlled by another person who appeared occasionally in this room of hers. She had gone from being a proud Starfleet Captain to being a virtual slave in just a short time. Or so long a time. It was a small amount of time overlooking her entire life, only about five months, and yet it seemed like she had been here for all of eternity.

She knew it wouldn't last too much longer. When Mordus was satisfied that he had completely conquered her, then he'd complete the job. He would kill her. She knew it, and took comfort in the thought. She wouldn't be here forever. It would be over eventually, and she'd be able to rest.

A faint feeling of claustrophobia came over her again. Yet, now it was somewhat comforting. The walls were so close, and it was comforting. She wasn't safe within them, but the rest of the universe wouldn't see her like this, wouldn't see her shamed and humiliated like she was. The walls were both her jailer and her protector, her shield from the universe.

She heard the door unlock, and Mordus was back in, a few minutes after he'd left. "I have some business on Shrelton. I don't trust you alone with the guards." He tossed a bundle at her. "Put those on."

Kathryn gingerly picked up the clothes after he'd left. They were all black and fairly intact. It was just a shirt and pants. She peeled off her clothes and slipped these on. Mordus must have used her old uniform to decide the size. Even so, they hung around her body, not showing any of her form. She stared at it for a moment, then sat back in wait of him.

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Chakotay and Tuvok were watching the Gateways open and close from the shadows. Tuvok held up a tricorder, trying to figure out how they worked. "Well...?" Chakotay asked.

"Commander, they appear to be fairly complex. It will take more time to learn to operate them," Tuvok replied. Chakotay nodded and allowed him to continue his work. After a few minutes, Tuvok announced, "I believe I have compiled the data I need. We should come back later when it is less crowded."

Chakotay nodded, and they turned away to go back to their building.

Less than a minute after they left, Mordus came out with Janeway next to him and one of his guards behind her.

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Janeway was overwhelmed by the sunlight and the sky. Axarus never had any sun, and she hadn't been outside in nearly five months. The sky seemed to hang around her, infinite in all directions, and underneath it she felt so small and exposed.

She unconsciously took a step closer towards Mordus, almost as if for protection from the sky. It momentarily flashed through her head the irony of seeking protection from her tormentor, but then she forgot about it as she began to feel sick. The sky was so luminous, so vast. She began to feel disoriented and her walk was somewhat unsteady.

Mordus gripped her arm, and he noticed how pale she had grown, and how close she was walking to him. In that moment, Mordus realized just how much control he had acquired over this woman. It gave him a feeling of elation just thinking about it, and he glared at the guard who was just a bit too close to her. "Step back a few feet."

The guard did as he was told, and Mordus explained, "We're going to the transmission center. I'll only be in there for a few minutes. You'll wait outside, and watch her. You're my best man, and I want to trust you with her." The guard nodded obediently. Mordus let go of Kathryn, and as he handed her to the guard, he whispered, "You touch her, I'll skin you." Then he disappeared into the building.

The guard stood far enough away from Janeway not to have Mordus get the wrong idea, but close enough so that he could catch her in case she tried to bolt. Personally, he didn't think she'd try to run even if she was left alone. She looked like an animal trapped in a thermal light, standing as close to the building as she could. It could be a shock, he knew, coming to a regular world after being on Axarus for so long. Janeway's gaze was drifting around, stunned at the sheer numbers of people overflowing the marketplace.

She noticed a few food stands. At one of them, a tall, dark man was standing, and a shorter dark haired man were. She felt a surge of recognition go through her, and, for a moment, she thought she was seeing things. She blinked briefly, and then knew she was not. My god, that's Chakotay and Tuvok! Something came back to life in her that had been dead for a long time, and without hesitation, she turned to the guard and brought her knee up to his groin. He was taken aback by her attack, and as he doubled over in pain, she shoved him back against the wall.

Kathryn took off as fast as she could in her present state, screaming to Chakotay and Tuvok. The noise of the crowd droned her calls out, and the two men were oblivious to her presence. She was caught in the crowds, trying to weave her way around waves of people. She let out a cry of frustration when one plume of people after the other packed in before her, no matter how hard she pushed, or how fast she ran. They didn't seem to pay much attention to her, and didn't move to make way for the woman. The man with the gun, however, was far more imposing. Janeway had failed to lose him in the crowd, and all the people quickly moved aside to make way when they saw his weapon. He reached her as she was taking another breath to call them one last time. He took the butt of his weapon and hit her across the back, knocking her down to the ground. He then proceeded to continue to beat her as the crowd cleared a circle around them.

Chakotay noticed the crowd gathering in one tight spot, as did Tuvok. "What's going on?" Chakotay inquired with a man who had just come from the crowd.

"Oh, some man's probably beating up a slave. It happens all the time." The man replied, the he disappeared into the crowds as well.

"Maybe we should help," Chakotay said, gazing with a dark look on his face towards the ruckus.

"Commander, we are focused on rescuing the Captain. It is vital that we remain as inconspicuous as possible, and quell your... humanitarian impulses," Tuvok replied. Chakotay glanced over at the crowd again, eyes troubled, but nodded his agreement.

"You're right. Let's go back to the building."

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"Idiot. You're lucky I was able to catch up to her, or God knows where she'd have escaped to!" Janeway heard Mordus's harsh words to the guard as she slowly regained consciousness.

"I didn't think--"

"No, you didn't think! That's your problem!" Mordus's voice lowered menacingly. "Understand this, Bradin-- if she escapes on your watch, you won't pay the price. It will be your wife, your mother, your kids, your friends, do you hear me? They will pay for your incompetence! Now get out of my sight! I'll watch her myself tonight."

She was more in despair right now than ever. She knew just how close she had been to escape. If only-- There was still a chance. Chakotay and Tuvok were nearby, if only she could get a message to them. But how?

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Chakotay jumped when his communicator chirped. He had given specific orders to Voyager not to send any transmissions. They weren't going to use their communicators except when they beamed up. Voyager was in low orbit, hidden from all sensors, ready to beam them up as soon as the word was given.

He tapped it. "Chakotay here." There was no response, but the communicator chirped again. And then again. Suddenly, something dawned on him.

"Tuvok, come here." He whispered. A few minutes later, they had tracked the source of the transmission. Someone was signaling them. As Chakotay and Tuvok set off to find the source, the signal abruptly cut off.

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"What the hell did you think you're doing with my equipment!" Mordus demanded, ripping it out of Janeway's hands. Janeway didn't reply, but she took a few steps back, knowing what was coming. Her back hit the wall, and she could only wait.

"Answer me!" He growled. "Who were you signaling!"

When she still didn't answer, he raised the communications box above his head and slammed it across her face. It felt like being hit with an anvil, and she fell like a stone, bracing herself for the imminent beating.

"Insolence, two actions of insolence today alone!" He yelled, and he grabbed his rifle and used it as a club once again, swinging it again and again at her. Janeway lost count as he pummeled her. Finally, he swung it, full-force, and connected it with the back of her skull. Janeway slipped instantly into blackness, the pain fading away.

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Mordus didn't drop the rifle until thick, red blood began to spill onto the floor in a puddle about her head, and for a moment, he seriously wondered if he had done it this time, if he had killed her. He was going to pick her up and carry her to a doctor, but common sense told him that carrying her might cause her more damage.

I should leave her to die. It's more than she deserves, he thought... but couldn't bring himself to do it. It reminded him of his childhood, when his favorite pet was dying. It was useless to him, but it was his, and he still had to protect it. He took a few steps back, regretting sending Bradin home, then hurried out the door, not bothering to close it behind him, to get a doctor.

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When they arrived, they found a small residence. They continued through the rooms, searching for her. "Commander!" Tuvok called.

Chakotay hurried into the room where she lay, surrounded by a pool of her own blood, a few of her limbs twisted at an unnatural angle, clearly broken. "Is she alive?" Chakotay asked breathlessly, dreading the answer.

Tuvok felt her pulse. "I believe so, but her pulse is very faint. We must get her back to the ship immediately." Chakotay nodded, and he tapped his comm badge. "Chakotay to Torres,"

"Torres here."

"We found her. Signal the ship."

"Is she alive?" Torres asked.

Chakotay paused. "We're not sure yet."

TBC