I think I'm starting to get afraid here myself. Have my babies? Er, um, I'm not really sure how to respond to that one, except to say I'm not sure that's physically possible. Not that I'm planning to take you up on the offer.
So who to dedicate this little bit of Evil to, Hmmm.
Chapter 2 (Again) posted as chapter 5 Because I'm too lazy to finish writing the Last Chapter.
The next morning Sierra opened her door, surprised to see the blond elf wearing nothing but a goofy grin and her lifebonded Harry standing there staring into each others eyes.(If I was truly evil I would have said large blond elf)
"Huh?" she said. (Not the most original thing a person may say, but then she's not a morning person. Oops sorry, Mary Sues are perfect. Oh well, a chink in her persona not the worst thing that can happen)
The two goofy guys broke apart, staring at her in confusion.
"Oh, it's you" Harry said.
Mary Sue, oops I mean Sierra Rowena Illianna Kethern frowned, she wasn't used to being out of the center of attention.
"Don't frown dear, I'll give you wrinkles" said the Blond elf that... etc. etc. named Legolas .
"I can't get wrinkles, I'm a Mary Sue" she said.
"Really" he said looking at her hopefully.
"Nope and I never die and never grow old." she said.
Legolas smiled and now Harry was the one to frown, he looked up and asked "What about when your Companion Greggory dies?"
Now both of the others frowned at him "This is an evil fanfic, it never happens in those, you don't grow old either" Mary er, Sierra said to him sternly.
(Now we hear the faint sound of moaning coming from Companions field)
"Oh, Ok" he said.
(Now does this inane conversation seem to be getting to you as well? I think it's time to move on to better... er worse things. At least you can just turn off the computer when this gets to be too much. This stuff is stuck in my head, pity me, pity me now)
"Come let us go eat Breakfast" Sierra said to her two guys. They followed and soon the three came to the collegium eating place.
(You know I'm sort of waiting for someone to mention the large blond naked elf, but no one seems to notice)
The three sat at their own table and breakfast went quickly, though Sienna has to nudge both in the sides from time to time, so that they stop staring and start eating (Quite a trick to nudge a naked elf without bursting into laughter)
Sierra next went to the deans office two guys in tow, one naked and one dressed in his wrinkled unwashed clothing (Appealing image?)
( I know it's evil, but I can't bring myself to clothe Legolas, it's just too funny the way it is, sorry if I offend. Don't bombard me with reviews from PETE (People for the Ethical Treatment of Elves))
The Dean was still shaking his head in disbelief as she left with her trail of men, at least the two she had collected so far. At least the guys liked each other now, they had worked things out. (At least that's how I'm going to say it)
Finally towards evening Sierra and her two guys walked back to her room, they entered and stopped in shock at the...did you expect me to say the (fill in the blank) guy wearing only a grin? Sorry to disapoint, it was just Neo from the Matrix leaning against the wall and watching as the three walked in.
He was dressed in black as he usually was. If you are wondering why he would be here in this place...well, it's my story and if I want him to join our little party I can very well write him in, besides when has this thing ever made sense anyway.
"Hello" Sierra said, uncertainly.
And now, just to be evil. This chapter ends in this cliff hanger, our heroine alone in her room at night with Harry Potter, a naked elf and Neo. What a combination. You can fill in the blanks yourself. (Evil laughter as the screen fades to black)
AN: I've said before that I've never read Harry Potter, I do have a DVD of the first movie, but never bothered to watch it and I have seen part of the Chamber of secrets. Not the whole thing (somehow I think it's not quite the same as reading the books) So this makes me uniquely qualified to write a truly horrendous fic. I did see Lord of the Rings, but never read the book, though I have started the Simm(whatever the thing is called)ularian
