I just had an evil thought, remember the movie Monty Python and the Holy Grail? Why not do the Valdemar version. Hey disclaimer time, don't own it, wish I did bla bla bla...bla bla...bla bla...

Oh man...I just had the scene with the dancing knights run through my head, only this time we had elves wearing only their grins...shaking head trying to remove image. I think I'd better not explore this idea now, for my own sanity.

(What's that you say? Sane you are sane? Well, I thought I was, at least no one has carted me away yet. Hey just who exactly am I talking to anyway? NEVER MIND!)

OK, that's enough of the Large Naked elves. (Besides I want to have fun with weapons practice)

AN: (I was going to put something mocking here, but as I've had a couple of stalkers in my life, I've thought the better of it. And that's all I'm saying about that)

And so we come to this chapters dedication. The fight scene as written by the person who knows little or nothing of swords and weaponswork, but thinks she can bluff her way through. As a little bonus we have Neos kung fu crap, something I know...well, little or nothing about.

Chapter 5 An Array of Sharp Pointy Objects and Pointless Plot, Posted as Chapter 8

The next morning, (have you noticed something strange? Each Chapter seems to be another Day, kinda makes you dread tomorrow, huh?) Sierra and her three men, well I think it's three as we spared Firesong in time. Our quartet trotted off to their well earned breakfast (And what did they do to earn breakfast you ask? You just don't want to know)

Have you noticed they only seem to be eating breakfast, you'd think that only one meal a day is all the trainees and their men are fed. I noticed another thing, no one in any story (Not just mine) seems to need to use the bathroom. Now I know it's an alternate universe, but that's ridiculus.

Please excuse my weird musings, it's just the kind of thing that pops into my my mind at odd moments when I'm reading a book. (I'm sure you wanted to know that)

Sierra looked at her list of classes "Oh, we have weapons practice" she sighed, this wasn't something she had done before and she wasn't sure she wanted to risk messing up her hair. She just wasn't sure how far the Mary Sue Magic would go, perhaps she didn't have to worry, but you never know (And of course we all know appearance is everything)

Legolas perked up and Neo looked interested, they had been getting a little bored trotting along in our Marys wake. This might be interesting, not boring anyway. Harry? He just shrugged, it wasn't something he was familiar with, but he was willing to try.

Finally they all trotted into the Salle, Kerowyn took a double take and not because of Legolas, at least not because he's naked. I think I've established he's wearing clothes for this one. The look on her face was indescribable and as this isn't the OOC chapter anymore she will be running Sierra through the ringer. You have to know if this scene really happened this is the way it would play out.

For all those Mary Sue Haters, this chapters for you, or if I get an evil impulse we will skip to the Neo, Harry and Legolas part. Nah, I don't really like Mary Sue myself so I'm having fun with this.

"So, what experience and what weapons do you have?" Kerowyn finally asked when she got her voice back.

Sierra: Nothing, my parents didn't think it was a good pastime for a Lady of Breeding. (Do you hear the ominous pause, the calm before the storm?)

Neo: I can do Kung Fu and blow the bad guys away.

Kerowyn just looked at him in confusion as there is no Kung Fu or guns in Valdemar. (And somehow the image of him huffing and puffing at the bad guys just doesn't have the same impact)

Legolas: I am a fair archer and have used my sword in battle, I am also a very good tracker and I can run very very fast for long distances.

Kero nodded, she would see.

Harry: I don't have alot of experience with these things, but I'm very good at that wizard game thingie and I'm good at dodging flying objects.

Kero tested the guys, she was pleased with Legolas and his archery skills, she finally set him to swords practice against one of the guards who practiced here from time to time.

She shook her head in confusion as Neo took out everyone she set against him with his bare hands. The time dilation stuff was a little confusing as well. It's a little strange when you've been thrown to float up in the air until you hit the ground hard, but hey, that's part of his magic.

Harry, she set to practicing with one of the other students who taught beginners.

And finally the thing we've been all waiting for she turns to Sierra (You can almost hear the ominous music, you know the kind. In a horror movie you just know someones gonna die, usually a Mary Sue type)

Kero gives the girl an evil grin, or she would if she wasn't a professional, but you know deep down inside, that's what's happening. (Oh, she's going down You must be thinking)

But Nah, she's a Mary Sue, she can do anything, If you don't believe me check out some of the fics on this site. I mean really, when have you ever heard of a small child chopping down large trees with one swing of her sword (Hey, I actually read that in one, couldn't get much further either. Oh, and if you recognize that one as your fic, sorry. But I wouldn't try responding in a review, I mean, just think, do you want to admit to writing something like that?).

Kero had Sierra pick a sword, just to see if she could judge it's weight and balance. Of course she picked the right one and when Kero walked forward to start the bout, Sierra was able to easily disarm her with a twist of her wrist and a fancy step. (I'm not commenting on the impossibility of a novice disarming a seasoned mercenary who has lived by her sword for countless years, Really I'm not) Yeah right.

The Kero had her try out against people with various levels of ability, she bested each one. She tried her at archery, Bullseye every time. This went on for some time and Kero began to become frustrated, she was beginning to hope the Mary Sue would fall herself, but no, the Magic was too strong. To add insult to injury her hair stayed perfectly in place. Sierra smiled, she was in the Mary Sue groove, the force was with her etc.

OK, this is starting to annoy even me. It's time to end this Chapter on an excruciating note. And just to be cruel, you'll never know what happened next. Something did, but I'm not saying.

PS: In answer to Miss PETEY Rep- Because I can. Besides I'm just evil that way. Oh, he might lose his clothes again, we'll just see. (Evil laugher)