Curses galore, an evil fic isn't complete without a few evil people, or otherwise known as villains or "the bad guys." Or as Bush would say 'The Evil doers'. But to add a twist to this since the song fic didn't go so well, we come to our next dedication, The Evil Fanfic - the musical.

(are you still here or have you gone running away in horror yet?)

Chapter 8 The Bad Guys and The Just Plain Wrong Fic, Posted as Chapter 11

Slow ominous music as we pan over the city, a hint of evil laughter in the air intertwining with the music.

The scene shifts over the wall and into the Collegium. Oops the camera dips too far and we get an image of dirt, then a cloth wiping off the lens (Sorry, well not really).


Queen Selenay: Woe is me, woe is me. Oh woe is me.

Daren:Woe is us, woe is us, Oh woe is us.

(Of course the music is slow and sad, not unlike the Poor Jed song from Oklahoma. Hey I didn't see it by choice, I was a captive audience. But for all that it wasn't bad)

Gratuitous Guard #1: A report to you my Majesties, A report I must make.

Queen Selenay: Hear it I will.

Daren: Hear it we must.

Gratuitous Guard #1: Oh hear it you will, oh hear it you must, A song for your sorrows, a song of broken trust.

Queen Selenay: What trust has been broken, this we must know. Tell us your tale, we wait for your word.

Gratuitous Guard #1: A villain in Haven, a villain I've seen, to prey on old ladies and he kicks small kitties. (Sorry, I know it sucks, but then so does the rest of this thing)

Gratuitous Guard #2: A terrible Villain this person he is, a terrible man with no conscience he sins. (Never mind I don't believe they have the exact concept of sin here)

Queen Selenay: Oh tell us the name of this terrible man, we wait for your word, a name we must have.

Gratuitous Guards #1 and 2: (in unison) Lord Gerdleys his name, this villain we've seen. He's evil he is, you know what we mean.

Daren: Proof do you have of this evil mans sins? Proof we must have or we can do not a thing.

Gratuitous Guard #1 whips out a roll of paper, bows and hands it to Daren: Proof this here is, proof of his sins. A hangings too good for this piece of (Censored)

Next scene is set somewhere in the lovely neighborhood of Exiles gate (In the background we hear the murmers of the guards hired to protect the equipment of our intrepid camera crew)

Tellos(Hey he was fired as muse and had to find work somewhere): A thief here I am, A right handy man. If a bauble you want, then I'm yer man.

Gratuitous Tarts (If you know what I mean) #1,2 and 3: (In unison) If baubles you want then this here's yer man.

A sprightly tune starts up and the Tarts go into a dance, swirling around Tellos.

Tarts #1, 2 ans 3: A man to get baubles, a thief he sure is, a great thief he is. You'll just have to see. A man to get baubles, a man to stay free.

The Chorus of beggar children start a refrain in the background, what they sing I'm not sure, but the melody fits in with what the Tarts are singing.

Suddenly the music grinds to a halt as a strong hand grabs the back of Tello's neck. Tarts flee and children scatter.

Gratuitous Guard #3: So a thief ye are, a thief ye claim to be? A place fer yer kind we have, you'll just have to see.


Fade to black, then to a rich looking town home.

Gratuitous Guards 1,2,3,4, and many more crash in the door, with a clash of symbols and a swell of dramatic music.

Guards (In unison): A Lord do we Hunt, an evil mans sins, will he pay for in blood. Tis Lord Gerdley we seek, the mans going down. That's just how it is.

Lord Gerdley: No you can't do this now, not when I'm almost done, a wedding to vow and I'd be set up too good.

Gratuitous Guard #1: A wedding you say, which maiden do you seek?

Lord Gerdley: Sierra's her name, her hand do I seek.

Guards look at each other and burst into laughter.

Lord Gerdley, looking confused sings:What causes your mirth, what have I just said. What causes that smirk?

Guards (In unison): The lass that you seek, beyond your grasp is. A marriage she has, tis hard to believe.

Lord Gerdley: No I don't believe it, Impossible it is, to have someone do this, pulling one over on me.

Me: Wrong this thing is, I do know that fact, but I can't seem to care, so continued it is. Crap for your pleasure, churned out by the page. Cry foul if you wish. Do I care, not a fig. So do go on and spew, I care not if you do. But just think to your sorrow, it could have been worse, The Mary Sue Mojo could have been added to this.