To Be A Malfoy
Disclaimer: I own Karliya Malfoy and Anastasia Lupin-Black.
Sarahamanda: Glad you liked it!
Alligator355: I try my best to answer questions :-D
Im no muggle: Yeah, poor Draco.
Ginny-and-Draco-fan: Oh you'll have to wait about another six chapters to find out exactly who did that to Draco.
CrazedLunatic: Glad you like it!
Inumoon3: I'm slowly making my way through Chapter 20, hold out a little more and it'll be up.
WARNING: Mentions of childhood rape.
Chapter 6: Draco
James sat at his desk in his classroom half asleep, he hadn't slept at all last night or the night before, he had been thinking and worrying about his son into the early hours of the morning. Lucius had spent last night in his quarters instead of in the guest quarters the governors were staying in for the week they were at the school, but he had slept the entire night, seemingly uncaring about Draco.
James pushed his glasses up onto the top of his head and rubbed his eyes, he was just glad he had the Ravenclaw and Hufflepuff seventh years who were able to work on their own without him. James looked at his watch, there was more than half an hour left of the first period so he decided he would go and get a coffee from the staffroom. "Right you lot, I'm going to trust you all to continue working while I go to the staffroom for a few minutes."
The students murmured and nodded and then James left. He headed to the staffroom where he thought he could be alone for a few minutes, but when he got there he found the Headmistress Minerva McGonagall with three of the School Governors, including Lucius.
James tried to be as inconspicuous as possible, as he wasn't meant to leave his classroom half way through a lesson unless it was a dire emergency. He had nearly made it back out of the staffroom door when McGonagall called his name.
"James?"
Shit! James turned back towards his boss, trying to look innocent. "Yes?"
"Don't you have a class right now?" Questioned Minerva raising an eyebrow.
James hesitated; "Um…" He scratched his head. "Yeah I do, but, do you really want me teaching without a good dose of caffeine?" Bad cover but she knows I can't do anything properly until I've had a cup of coffee…
Minerva surveyed her Transfiguration Professor for a moment or two before nodding, "Very well. And before you go, just for a Government record could you tell the Governors here a few things about yourself?" James raised an eyebrow. "We'll be asking every teacher this."
"Okay." James thought for a moment. Should I sugar coat it? "I'm thirty, gay, married, have two children – ten and thirteen – and my best friend is in Azkaban because the Minister of Magic is a complete jackass." He looked to Minerva. "Can I go back to my class now?"
Minerva, slightly surprised by James' bluntness nodded and dismissed him.
James left the staffroom feeling worse than when he went in there, why did his life have to be so damn difficult?
………
Period three finally finished and the students all stampeded off to lunch, James put his face in his hands and massaged his temples, he would have Draco's class last period and he was eager to see if his son was okay as he hadn't seen him at breakfast that morning. And he was perfectly aware that Lucius hadn't made a move to talk with their son yet. He didn't bother looking up when he heard footsteps in his classroom.
"Bad influence on the students apparently." Said the smooth voice that belonged to the footsteps.
"I'm not in the fucking mood Lucius." Grumbled James, his face still in his hands. "If you're not here to tell me you've spoken to Draco then I don't want to hear it."
Lucius arched an eyebrow and fiddled with his cane, not at all bothered by James' tone. "I was actually here to see what you were doing for lunch, but it seems no company is welcome unless it comes armed."
James lifted his head and glanced up at Lucius through his dark hair, which was flopping into his eyes. "Why?"
Lucius rolled his eyes; he placed his hands on James' desk and leaned forward, "Let me rephrase this, do you want to come out for lunch?"
James looked at his timetable. No class fourth period. He looked back at Lucius, "As long as you're paying."
"You expected otherwise?" Questioned Lucius as James got up.
"No."
………
Why is it that the one time Lucius actually willingly suggests we have lunch out, I have to be so grumpy? Thought James in annoyance, he really pissed himself off sometimes. He was with his husband at the Leaky Cauldron in Diagon Alley having a quiet lunch away from all the students of Hogwarts.
"Why haven't you spoken to him yet?"
"Huh?" Lucius was caught off guard with his fork partly in his mouth with food on.
James sighed and sat back in his chair, "Draco, have you talked to him yet?"
Lucius finished chewing his food and swallowed it before answering, "He needs time James, he'll talk about it when he wants to, and when that time comes, I'll be there for him." He took a sip from his drink before lowering his voice a little. "And from what I heard at that meeting on Saturday, it happened in the summer."
James bit his bottom lip in thought, "But…when though? He never left the manor in the holidays, and when he did he was with one of us. And I was always at home with him and Karly."
Lucius sighed, he knew full well that James wasn't going to stop pestering him about this until he did talk to their son so he just gave in then and there. "Do you have his class today?"
James nodded, "Last period."
Lucius, although he didn't want to force Draco into talking to him continued, "Make him stay behind, I'll come and talk to him then."
James bit his lip, "Okay." He thought for a moment. "What did you mean when you said you understood what's he's been through far better than I do?"
Lucius' expression suddenly turned quite cold, as did his voice. "I'd rather not talk about that if its all the same to you."
Although what he said wasn't nasty to James it still made James cower little, because he knew that tone of voice was one Lucius reserved for directing torture upon innocent muggles. "Okay…I was only wondering…"
Lucius sighed, James had that 'everything is my fault' look on again and that was a look, that as much as he wanted to deny it, made his heart melt every time he saw it. "It's just hard for me to talk about it all right? …Especially now…"
James watched his husband closely for a moment and then it hit him. Luce has been raped before hasn't he? Oh god… "Would you talk about it one day though?"
Lucius knew that James had caught on now and he sighed, "Maybe."
………
"Eh Draco, could you stay behind for a few minutes please?" Said Remus before his class left.
Draco sighed and stayed where he was, not only had he been kept back after Potions and D.A.D.A, he was almost positive he would have to stay behind after Transfiguration as well.
"Come up here."
Draco reluctantly got up with his bag and went up to Remus' desk, he knew the Werewolf Professor quite well, as he was an unofficial Godfather like Severus Snape. "What have I done now?"
Remus raised an eyebrow; "I just wanted to talk to you about the grade you got on your last essay." Draco bit his lip. Remus always marked in the O.W.L standards. "I was a bit disappointed that it only got an 'A', now I know you have a lot of potential and a good brain in that head, it's a shame to see it go to waste."
Draco looked down at the floor, he had a perfectly plausible reason for his plummeting grades but he didn't particularly want to discuss it with his Professor right now or his parents for that matter. "I'll try better next time, I just had other things on my mind."
Remus nodded, he knew exactly what other things Draco was talking about as he had over heard Lucius' conversation with Snape on Saturday night as well. But he couldn't really be too soft on some students like the ones he knew quite well like Draco for instance. "Okay, I really don't want to have to discuss it with your parents."
Draco nodded, a little worried that this would get back to his parents. Although he was perfectly aware that they probably already knew he wasn't doing that well this year. "Um, can I go? I'm already late."
"Yeah you can." Replied Remus, "Let me write you a note. Who do you have next?"
"Dad."
"Oh well, in that case just tell him I had to talk to you." Said Remus as he started packing his stuff up.
Draco nodded and left the classroom. Why of all people did it have to be me?…Does anyone even care? No one's even made an effort to talk to me yet…Although I think Professor Snape and Lupin know even if they won't let on… He thought as he trudged along the corridor and down the steps to the floor where the Transfiguration classroom was. I wish I could just curl up and die…
Draco entered the Transfiguration classroom and found the rest of his class already there, one of his fathers up the front writing today's lesson up on the board.
"Where have you been?" Asked James over his shoulder.
"Professor Lupin wanted to talk to me." Replied Draco, not really caring that he didn't sound as nasty or disrespectful as usual like it was expected of him by the other students. He sat down as far away from Pansy Parkinson as he could get without sitting with the Gryffindors and pulled his books out of his bag.
"Okay." James went back to what he was doing, when he was finished he turned back to the class. "Right guys, you're going to be working in pairs for the next four weeks. Don't ask me why? But it's a new part of the Government curriculum that involves third years making a presentation in front of the rest of the school." Pansy put her hand up. "Yes?"
"Can we choose who we work with?" She asked, glancing at Draco who was frowning and scowling.
James shook his head, "No, I have decided to save time by choosing the pairs myself and I don't plan on having two Slytherins or two Gryffindors as a pair either."
"You mean you're mixing us?" Questioned Ron Weasley in disbelief.
"Yes I am Mr. Weasley, and five points from Gryffindor for calling out." Replied James, he didn't know why he got such great satisfaction from taking points from his own House. "Okay, so the pairs." He picked up a piece of parchment from his desk, which had all the pairs written down and then he started reading them off. "Weasley, Parkinson…" He smirked when he heard cussing from Ron and a squeal of annoyance from Pansy. "And finally, Malfoy and Granger."
Draco glared at his dad, he knew full well why James had put him with Hermione Granger.
James saw the glare and winked back, he had put Draco with Hermione because he had remembered something his son had told him one day in the summer about having a crush on the bookish Gryffindor.
Flashback
"Dad?"
"Mm?"
"Can I talk to you about something?"
"Mmhmm."
Draco sat down on the leather couch in Lucius' study and looked to his dad James who was sitting on the window seat again. "…I have a crush…"
James looked to his son and raised an eyebrow, "Ooh, on whom? Male or female?"
Draco rolled his eyes, "Female. Unlike every male parental figure in my life, I happen to be straight."
James laughed, "Okay, okay, I was just wondering. And how does she feel about you?"
Draco bit his bottom lip, "I'm pretty sure she hates me."
"Why would she hate you?" Asked James curiously.
Draco looked down at the floor, "Because last year I kind of called her…a mudblood."
"Ah Miss Granger." Said James nodding. "Yes, I can see why she would hate you after that." Draco looked back up at him with a scowl on his face. "But don't forget, she is under the influence of a Weasley, and the Weasleys and Malfoys have never gotten along."
"You mean I might be in with a chance if I wasn't a Malfoy?" Questioned Draco.
James nodded, "Mmhmm. Although, its not unheard of for Slytherins and Gryffindors to get together. Your father and I are one example."
"And the other examples?"
James hesitated a moment, "…Perhaps we're the only example…but my family, like the Weasleys, always hated the Dark Arts but I managed to overcome that. Maybe Hermione could."
"Yeah right." Draco leaned back on the couch and crossed his arms. "I can't even talk to her without that Weasley idiot butting in and threatening to hex me because he thinks I'm going to kill them or something. I mean, just because my father is a follower of the Dark Lord it doesn't mean I am."
"And if I have anything to do with it, you won't be." Replied James in determination. "But, you could try and talk to her in the Library, she's usually in there without her friends around."
Draco nodded in thought.
End Flashback
James made sure everyone knew what they were doing and were working civilly before going to sit at his desk. He glanced at Draco and Hermione who were at one side of the classroom; they seemed to be getting on all right.
"We could always do Animagi." Suggested Draco, "I know a couple."
Hermione raised an eyebrow, "Really?"
Draco nodded, "Although I'm not meant to say who they are, because they're illegal ones." Maybe this won't be so bad; perhaps working with Hermione might help take my mind off other things.
Class soon ended, "Malfoy, stay behind please." Called James as he saw his son packing up.
"I knew it." Grumbled Draco.
"You've been kept behind a lot today." Commented Hermione as she packed her bag.
"Because our bloody teachers all have something against me." Said Draco loud enough for James to be able to hear.
James raised his eyebrows. It seems he's a little annoyed about this. Oh well, he can take it up with Luce, this was his idea. After the rest of the class had gone James looked to his son. "This wasn't my idea…It was his." He indicated to Lucius who had just appeared at the back of the classroom.
Draco looked over his shoulder and then sunk down in his chair with his arms crossed, "It's the Malfoy Inquisition." He mumbled.
James got up; "You can use my office."
Lucius nodded as he headed up to the front of the classroom, "Follow me Draco."
Draco sighed and got up, he followed his father into James' office. He definitely knew what this was about now and he wondered why it was Lucius talking to him and not James, as he got on with his Gryffindor father a lot better than the Slytherin one. "What is this about?" Might as well play stupid for a little while, even if it does annoy him.
Lucius sat down in the chair behind the desk, which was covered in books, parchment and just general rubbish. "You know what this is about." He indicated for Draco to sit down. Lucius was well aware that his voice sounded quite harsh, but he couldn't help it, he was just so used to speaking like that now.
Draco sat down and kept his mouth shut. Even if they do want to talk to me now, it doesn't mean I want to talk about it.
"Listen Draco," Lucius started, he had managed to soften his voice a little knowing exactly how his son felt. "I was ready and willing to let you talk about what happened when you were ready, but your dad thought otherwise."
"Then why is it you talking to me and not him?" Questioned Draco nervously. Why am I so worried? He might be a Deatheater but he's not going to torture it out of me…is he?
Lucius stayed silent for a moment, seemingly in thought. "Let's just say, I understand what you've been through-" He was cut off by Draco.
"How could you?!" Questioned Draco, his temper getting up. "You're a Deatheater! You're the one that does this to people!"
That remark had definitely cut deep on Lucius but he managed to keep his cool. "I may be a Deatheater Draco, but I have never once sexually assaulted somebody. I know too well how much it hurts, and I would never inflict that kind of pain up on someone else."
Draco looked down at the floor and sniffed, he could feel tears coming on but he wasn't prepared to cry in front of his father. "…They only did it because I wouldn't let them hurt Karliya."
Lucius leaned forward folding his arms on the desk, "Go on."
Draco glanced up at his father and then back down at the floor, "It happened that night you and dad were out at that Ministry function…when Snape was watching us. It was late and I was thirsty, so I went to the kitchen to get a drink…Snape was fast asleep on the couch… When I went back upstairs there were two Deatheaters up there…watching Karliya while she slept…I heard them talking about hurting her and I didn't want it to happen." He lifted his head a little and stared at the back of a picture frame on James' desk. "I threw my glass at one of them…the shorter one, and told them not to hurt her-"
"Please don't hurt her! She's only little!"
"And why would we listen to a little brat such as yourself?"
"Hurt me instead! Just leave her alone!"
"You were trying to protect her." Said Lucius quietly. Damn Gryffindor traits! He thought in slight annoyance. Although I suppose if he didn't step in it would have been Karliya who was hurt…why would they hurt my children like that though?
"I didn't think they would listen…" Continued Draco in a quiet voice. "But then they turned to leave…after I thought they had gone I closed Karly's door and then went back to my own room…" He wiped his eyes, which were still watering, on his sleeve. "I never heard them come into my room, I must have been dozing… The first I knew of them being there was when I found I couldn't move and I had been gagged." He sniffed and squeezed his eyes shut for a moment before opening them again, and bravely continuing. "The bigger one of the two got onto my bed…it was hot that night so I was only in my boxers, but he practically ripped them off.
"Then he just forced himself on me…" His voice cracked as he tried not to cry, he stopped talking for a few minutes to try and compose himself. "…I just wished the pain would stop…"
Lucius felt like crying himself, how could someone do this to a thirteen year old boy? Sure, Deatheaters were ruthless enough to rape adults but never children. "Draco, who was the other Deatheater?" He had killed the one who committed the offense on his son and he sure as hell was going to make the other wish he had never been born, or alternatively he could let James torture the man.
Draco sniffled and mumbled an answer quietly, but just loud enough for Lucius to hear.
Lucius nodded. Wormtail is going to die. He watched his son momentarily before getting up from his chair and going around the desk to Draco. He crouched down in front of his sniffling first born and put a hand under Draco's chin making him look up. "I know it hurts Dray, but it must feel a little better to have talked about it, instead of bottling it up and trying to put it to the back of your mind."
Draco nodded meekly; he had a steady stream of tears running down his face now.
Lucius pulled his son into his arms and hugged him tightly, that was all he could really think of doing at the moment.
…
"You can go in now Mr. Potter."
While Lucius was talking to Draco, James had gone to Azkaban to see his best friend. He had owled the prison yesterday about it.
James followed the guard to a visiting room in a part of the Prison that didn't have Dementors. He went into the room; the door closed behind him and the first thing he noticed about his friend was just how terrible he looked.
"I know, I look like shit right?" Said Sirius looking to his best friend who was staring in shock at him.
James shook his head to rid himself of the shock, "My god, what have they done to you?"
Sirius gave a grim smile and stood up, so his thin body was in full view of James' eyes. "They shut in me here without a trial, that's what they've done."
James bit his lip before going over to Sirius and embracing his friend tightly, "I am so sorry…"
"It's not your fault." Replied Sirius, hugging his friend back. He pulled away and studied James for a moment. "You're looking well."
James gave a small smile; "At least that's different to how I feel."
Sirius went and sat back down; Azkaban really did pull your energy and strength out of you. "What's the matter?"
"Apart from being in the most depressing place on Earth?" Replied James as he sat down opposite Sirius. Sirius nodded. "Everything's the matter, there's still a War, I have people I love on both sides and now my son has a pretty dire crisis."
Sirius cocked his head to the side, "What's wrong with Dray?"
James shook his head, "You really don't want to know." He decided to change the subject in hopes that Sirius wouldn't ask anymore questions. "So, Rem was right about you still being pretty sane."
Sirius regarded his friend suspiciously for a moment before nodding, "Yeah well, when you're in here and you know you're innocent…I guess it just doesn't get to you as much." He thought for a moment. "So, as I hear it, I have a Slytherin to thank for getting me a trial?"
James smiled, "Yeah you do. I think he finally got annoyed with hearing me complain about the injustice of you being in here for a crime you didn't commit." He shrugged. "Either that or he's trying to turn over a new leaf."
"I think I'll put my money on the former."
………
James stayed chatting with Sirius for about two hours before he was made to leave as visiting hours were over. He slowly walked into Hogwarts, thinking about his best friend and wondering if Lucius had gotten Draco to talk or not.
He was about to turn a corridor when he heard Lucius and McGonagall's voices.
"I understand that, but I would prefer it if he was not in the Slytherin Dungeons at the moment."
"And I understand your power over this school Lucius, but I am not about to have your son moved from his living arrangements until I have a proper reason."
Why does he want to move Draco… Thought James as he eavesdropped on the conversation. Oh…he must have gotten him talk…
James could practically hear the cogs turning in Lucius' head as he tried to think of a plausible reason to have his son moved.
"…I can't tell you the reason, but I would rather he wasn't with the rest of those brats at the moment. He needs some time on his own."
He heard McGonagall sigh.
"And does James know about this?"
James decided to make himself noticed, he finished turning the corner, "Yes I do know. I was eavesdropping but I think I know what he's talking about."
………
James had managed to get McGonagall to listen but only by telling her that something traumatic had happened to their son in the summer and that they had only just found out what it was from Draco.
That night Draco was moved into a room near James', mainly so he didn't have to suffer Pansy Parkinson's incessant questioning.
James spent some of the night with his son, talking to him after Lucius had passed on what was said in his office.
………
James entered his own quarters around midnight that night, he was pale and shocked about what had happened to his son, Draco had told him in great detail what happened to him.
Lucius looked up from where he had settled himself down in an armchair for the evening and saw how pale James was and he noted the fact that James looked like he was going to throw up. "Are you all right?"
James turned his shocked brown eyes to Lucius, "…How can someone do that to a kid?" He sniffed. "An innocent child…"
Lucius got up from the chair, sensing James was going to break down into tears any moment now. He pulled the raven-haired man into his arms and rested his chin on James' shoulder. "It's horrible, I know. But we should…we should just be there for him." Hearing what happened to Draco had brought back all of his own horrible childhood memories.
James let Lucius hold him, "I wish I could empathise with him though…like you can…"
"Believe me, you're better off not being able to." Replied Lucius quietly. He kissed James' hair. "One of us has to be strong…because I don't think I can be anymore…"
A/N: Was that as a depressing as I think it was? And yes, I know, you didn't hear about Lucius' childhood because I thought I would leave that for another chapter.
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