To Be A Malfoy

Disclaimer: I own Karliya and Anna. I also own Michael and Irene Potter. I also own Severus' Potion, you will see what it is soon.

Sarahamanda: Thank you.

orlin: Yes, poor James, Poor Lucius, poor everybody, I know! :-D

redrose2310: Ok!

Jessmyn Sara Potter Dumbledore: James was a CHASER I assure you. They changed it to Seeker in the first movie, for some strange reason, but he was actually a Chaser.

From a JKR Scholastic Interview in October, 2000:

What position did James play on the Gryffindor Quidditch team? Was it seeker like Harry, or something different?

James was Chaser.

This has not been confirmed in the books but until otherwise is said he is a Chaser, and JK Rowling said this. Just because he was playing with a snitch in the fifth book during the pensive scene does not mean that he was a Seeker. But you have to admit, that catching a snitch would be much more impressive than playing with a quaffle if he was trying to attract the attention of girls. So I reckon (and this was also said on the HP Lexicon) that he nicked the snitch just to impress, not because it was involved in the position he played at Quidditch.

Ginny-and-Draco-fan: Ha ha, you'll have to wait and see what I do with Lucius.

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Chapter 11: Confessions

James had been home for a fortnight now, he had been let out of hospital a couple of days after he woke up, but only if he took it easy and was looked after, and for extra measure, pampered.

It had taken James nearly a week after he had woken up to remember he had been pregnant before the attack, he had sunk into a small fit of depression when he was informed of his miscarriage from the stab wound. Now he was still upset about losing his baby but that had nearly been replaced by worry because of Lucius' upcoming trial.

James was currently curled up on the living room couch under a blanket, his head on Lucius' lap and his eyes closed. The way Lucius was stroking his hair was thoroughly relaxing and James had nearly fallen asleep a couple of times.

Lucius shifted a little to get more comfortable, James' head moved with him, he looked down at his husband whose eyes were still closed. "Why don't you go to bed?"

James kept his eyes shut, "Not tired…" He followed his reply up with a yawn.

Lucius smirked, "You've been snoring."

"Don't snore…"

Lucius continued running his fingers through James' thick black hair with a small smile playing at his lips, "Course you don't, love."

"Precisely…"

Lucius smiled slightly at how relaxed and carefree James looked, he wished he could feel that way, but after tonight he would have one more day of freedom before his trial on Wednesday. He knew they would be putting him under Veritaserum so he would be forced to tell the truth, and tell the court that he was a Death Eater and he had willingly committed all the crimes he was being trialed for. He had absolutely no way of staying out of Azkaban. Unless by some miracle the Ministry let Severus make a diluted version of Veritaserum instead of counting on their own private stocks of the strong stuff.

Lucius snapped out of his thoughts when James moved, he found himself looking down into curious brown eyes. "What?"

"Could ask you the same thing," replied James, he seemed to have woken up a little bit more now.

Lucius continued with his administrations on James' hair and sighed, "I was just thinking…"

"About the trial?" asked James, already knowing the answer, he personally didn't think Lucius deserved this treatment. So what if he was a Death Eater? He may have committed all those crimes but in James' eyes he had redeemed himself, plus there wasn't that much evidence against him. The Ministry said Lucius was pure evil, but nobody who put the well being and love of their family above all else could be evil. Nobody.

Lucius nodded and stared absentmindedly at a picture on the mantle above the fire of Draco and Karliya smiling happily. Draco had his arms around his little sister and Karliya was trying to mess up his immaculate hair. "Yeah…"

James lifted a hand and tapped Lucius lightly on the cheek, "Don't get too nervous, the more nervous you get the more likely you are to spill all your secrets."

Lucius turned his head slightly and kissed James' hand, "I'm not you, Jay, I know how to keep my mouth shut."

James rolled his eyes, "I know that…but you do say too much on a subject sometimes."

"I'm just very well informed," replied Lucius although he knew there really was no point in arguing with James about this.

James sat up, albeit painfully, his wound had been healed ages ago but it was still giving him hell. "No, I think you just talk too much." He kissed Lucius on the corner of the mouth. "I'll be more caring tomorrow, I'm just tired."

Lucius kissed him full on the lips. I think I have to do this far more between now and Wednesday morning. "You go up to bed, I'll catch you up soon."

James smiled, "Yes sir."

………

Lucius wasn't normally the kind of person, who would get nervous, but now there were less than twenty-four hours before his trial on Wednesday morning at 9am and he was getting quite anxious. He sat in his high-backed pivotal chair in his study staring out the window at the Manor grounds, how was he going to get out of this?

Lucius got up from his chair and went to his liquor cabinet, he needed a good strong drink, he didn't care if it was only eleven in the morning. He poured himself a good-sized glass of brandy before going back over to the window and looking out at the drizzly sky.

"It's a bit early to be drinking isn't it?" asked a quiet voice from the study doorway.

Lucius huffed quietly, "I'm sure if you were facing an Azkaban sentence or the Dementor's Kiss, you'd want to get drunk as well."

The hostility is back. Thought James as he closed the study door and moved nearer to Lucius. "I am testifying tomorrow…don't you think showing some sense of decency towards me is in order?"

Lucius glanced at James out the corners of his grey eyes; "I don't plan on showing any sense decency until both Voldemort and Dumbledore are dead." He turned his gaze back to the window and took a sip of his brandy. "Anyway, what could you possibly say that would incriminate me any further?"

"Spousal abuse."

Lucius turned his eyes back to James in shock, "What?"

James folded his arms over his stomach and kept his face expressionless, "You may have deliberately forgotten it, but I haven't, you have hit me before…far more times than I'd like to count." Lucius looked speechless. "Lucky for you I'm nice enough not to want to say it in front of a jury. And yes, I am threatening you, not that anything nice I can say will save you." James had hit a nerve and he knew it, but it was the truth.

Lucius had had a slightly abusive phase when the kids were younger, it had happened around the time when Voldemort had really started to show his distrust of Lucius. Lucius had been taunted a little by some of the other Deatheaters and been put under Crucio by Voldemort and this of course, angered him, and what did he do? He took it out on his family. James had refused to let Lucius near their children while he was in such a state of mind so he bore the brunt of Lucius' anger.

……

It was lunchtime at Hogwarts, Draco felt too sick to eat so he had gone to the library where he had been spending increasingly more time lately. He knew his father was going on trial tomorrow morning, but he had been told he and Karliya were not allowed to attend. He had tried arguing with his father about this decision but nothing would change Lucius' mind, although Draco thought it was more James' idea than Lucius'.

Draco knew they were saying no to him and Karliya attending their father's trial because of what happened after Sirius'.

Draco stared down at his half-finished Potions essay, he wondered how his life would be if his father did end up in Azkaban. Would Voldemort kill Karly, Dad and I?…With father in prison we wouldn't have his protection. God, I don't want to think about what might happen…

Suddenly somebody tapped the parchment his essay was written on, "You spelt 'bezoar' wrong."

Draco looked up as his godfather sat down at the table, "What are you doing here?"

Sirius raised an eyebrow, "Not a hell of a lot. I thought I'd come pay a visit to my horrible godson."

Draco gave him a sarcastic look, "You're very welcome, my murderous friend."

Sirius rolled his eyes; he folded his arms on the table and considered Draco for a moment, "So how are you doing?"

Draco shrugged, "I've been better…" He was perfectly capable of talking to Hermione about how he was feeling and everything but when it came to one of his parents, Sirius, Remus or Snape, then he just closed up like a clam.

Sirius raised his eyebrows, he was well aware of the Malfoy problem of not opening up to people. "You can talk to me you know? I do know what its like to have parents you don't agree with."

Draco crossed his arms over his chest and sat back in his chair, "Its not that I don't agree with them, its just…they both have different beliefs and I don't know who to listen to. Its so confusing."

Sirius nodded, "Fair enough. Well, you know I solved my problem by running away, but I don't suggest you do that." Draco frowned. "If it bothers you that much then…maybe you should put yourself in the middle. Let your parents know how you feel."

Lucius had decided to ignore James comments to him that morning, and he continued with the plans he had made for that day. Talk to James, confess to James, make love to James, talk to James some more and write a letter to his children (just in case). Perhaps not in that order though. He had already written the letter to Draco and Karliya and put it in his hidden room behind a bookcase in his study, he had told James where it was and told him to give it to the kids if he did go to Azkaban.

Lucius was currently lying on his back in bed with James' head on his chest.

James sighed and nuzzled his hair against Lucius' chest, "Guess I won't be going out today either…"

Lucius trailed his fingers lightly up and down one of James' arms, "Mm, but its so much more fun spending the day in bed."

James smiled and closed his eyes, a hand resting just on Lucius' stomach, his head still on his husband's chest. "And what did you want to talk to me about?"

Lucius sighed, "Well, I figured if I lose the trial tomorrow I might as well go to Azkaban with a clear conscience of everything I've done to you or haven't told you."

James lifted his head and gazed at Lucius curiously, "You mean like, confess?"

"Exactly."

……

James smiled, "I already knew that Luce, I know you weren't that fond of me when I turned up pregnant and crying on your doorstep." He twirled some of Lucius' hair around his fingers. "I mean, I was upset that you didn't particularly want me around or that you didn't want the kid to start with, but I know that's changed now, hasn't it?"

"Of course it has," replied Lucius sincerely. "…I've always found it hard to care for someone as much as you wanted me to. But believe me, now I don't think I could live without having you, Draco and Karliya around."

……

"Ready to be fatherless Malfoy?"

Draco put his books down on his desk in the Potions classroom, "To be honest Weasley, I'd rather be fatherless than moneyless…oh but you'd already know what's it like to be both, how is your father doing with all that extra, unpaid work?" He smirked in satisfaction when he saw Ron splutter with rage.

"Weasley, sit down before I start taking points." Said Snape from the front of the classroom. His eyes flickered briefly to Draco and the young Slytherin just looked away innocently.

Draco's chat with his godfather hadn't really been very helpful, but Sirius had at least succeeded in lightening the young Malfoy up a little bit. He had made Draco understand that if the trial went bad, he would still have one parent left, the less homicidal one.

……

"Since when have you had a sister?" asked James as he looked at the Malfoy family tree in a book Lucius had shown him. They were both still in bed, Lucius lying on his side with his head propped on a hand and James lying on his back with the book above him.

"She was four years older than me."

James raised an eyebrow, "Was?"

Lucius nodded, "She had always been so much better than the rest of us, she didn't agree with the whole purification of the wizarding race and everything." He gazed down at the bit of bed between them. "She didn't want to become a Death Eater, but my father forced her into it, I think I was about ten or eleven when that happened."

James gazed intently at his husband as he spoke.

Lucius sighed, "She would always keep in touch with me, even after she left Hogwarts. When I was sixteen I got a letter from her, saying that she was going to run because she hated being a Deatheater and she knew there was no way out of it except death.

"The last I heard, she was killed before she had a chance to leave," continued Lucius quietly. "But I've never really believed that. She was killed by Deatheaters and we always leave a Dark Mark in the sky after a killing, there wasn't one above her house."

James frowned, "I always thought you were an only child, I'd only ever heard of one Malfoy being in Hogwarts at the same time as me."

Lucius smiled grimly, "She always kept to herself, she was a Slytherin but, no one else was ever that fond of her because of her beliefs." James raised an eyebrow. "She was a Prefect but that was about it."

James nodded, he glanced back at the book, her name was scribbled out so he didn't actually know what it was. "What was her name?"

"Karliya."

James glanced back to Lucius with his eyebrows raised; "You named her in memory." It was more a statement than a question.

Lucius nodded, "Yeah I did. You can name the next one."

James smiled, "I think its sweet, naming your daughter after your sister." He put the book down beside him. "Were you close to her?"

Lucius sighed, "Not really to start with, we did get quite close right before her death though." He thought for a moment. "And I guess I lied when I told you nobody else knew what my father had done to me, my sister knew. When she was talking about running away, she said she'd take me with her…"

……

James put his arms around Lucius' neck as his husband moved on top of him, he moaned into Lucius' mouth as they moved together. Twice in one day? Lucius must be trying to make up for everything before his trial.

……

"Well that's a bit unfair, he is your father," said Hermione as she walked with Draco down to the Quidditch Pitch. "But I guess it is understandable, especially after that attack."

Draco put his broom over his shoulder, "Maybe it is, but still, I doubt the Dark Lord would strike the same place twice, even if people he wants dead are at the trial."

Hermione shrugged, "Well I wouldn't know, I'm just a mere Gryffindor." She stopped walking and Draco stopped when he realised she wasn't walking beside him. "Maybe I shouldn't go to the pitch, I don't want to be hexed by your team mates. Again."

Draco smirked, "Okay, I'll talk to you later then."

Hermione smiled and nodded, "Looking forward to it."

………

Lucius was dozing when a knock sounded at the bedroom, he was half pinned under James again. "What?"

A squeaky voice came from the hallway, "Master Severus asked Dobby to get Sir as master Severus wishes to speak with Sir immediately in Sir's study."

Lucius sighed, "Okay. Tell him I'll be down in a minute Dobby."

"Yes Sir."

Lucius carefully moved out from under James, who was fast asleep, and got out of bed. He found his black silk robe and put it on before leaving the bedroom and heading downstairs to his study. "Is this really important Severus?"

Severus got up from Lucius' desk chair and raised an eyebrow at the older ex-Slytherin's attire. "Yes it is, did I interrupt something?"

"Yes you did," replied Lucius folding his arms. "And you are here, why?"

Severus smirked slightly before turning serious again. "I have been working on a potion that if taken, dilutes Veritaserum so that the drinker is still able to keep control of their thoughts and basically lie."

Lucius raised an eyebrow, "And it works?"

Severus nodded, "I have tested it several times on various guinea pigs. It has worked effectively each and every time."

Lucius thought for a moment, "So, if I took it, I could lie my way out of Azkaban even under veritaserum?"

"Precisely," replied Severus nodding. "It also does not show up in your blood stream if they do believe you are lying and decide to run a test. But the potion must be taken two hours before the veritaserum is given."

Lucius sat on the arm of the couch, "Well, the trial starts a nine, they want me there at eight thirty to administer the veritaserum and the Ministry would give the really strong stuff, which lasts what…twenty four hours?"

Severus nodded, "So it would be best if you take this potion," He pulled a small vial out of his pocket. "At around six thirty tomorrow morning for it take full effect."

Lucius took the vial off Severus and stared at it for a moment before looking back to the Potions Master, "Why are you doing this? If the Ministry found out we'd both pay for this."

Severus raised an eyebrow, "Can't a man help a friend in need?"

Lucius furrowed his eyebrows, "Have you been drinking one of your personal potions again?"

Severus rolled his eyes and shook his head, "No. That husband of yours is rubbing off on everybody."

Lucius smirked, "That's true."

Lucius soon thanked Severus and saw the Potions Master out, he headed back upstairs after telling Dobby to bring his and James' dinner upstairs to their room. He placed the vial of potion on his bedside table before taking his robe off and throwing it over the foot of the bed.

"Where'd you go?"

Lucius got back under the covers and kissed James on the lips, "No where important." James opened his eyes and gave Lucius a skeptical look. "Look, whatever I say during the trial tomorrow, just…just go along with it okay?"

James frowned, "Okay…" He was very suspicious now. Is he trying to tell me he'll be lying? Even though he'll be under Veritaserum?

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A/N: OK, this will be another two parter chapter.

Next Chapter: Lucius' trial. Is Severus' potion going to work? And James' parents finally make an appearance.