Straight From The Horse's Mouth part 2

"Are you still with me? Good. Now, where was I? Oh yes, I had gone in search of a groom to give me a bath, but I did not get far. "

"I was not very happy when I was stopped by the Bit…., er…, I mean Arwen Undomiel, the Evenstar of her people. All the fireflies caught in the sticky bun crumbs on her gown caused her to glow brighter than a bonfire. I just knew this would not go well, not well at all. She heaved herself onto my back and I grunted. She should definitely lay off the sticky buns."

"She forced me to return to the river, my legs trembling under the enormous weight I was carrying. Seeing the midget lying on the ground, she fell off, much to my relief, and waddled over to him. She then drug him over and heaved him onto my back, much to my dismay for he immediately emptied his stomach down my side again. I was never going to get clean!"

"Spying the rag tag group wading through the water, she perked up. In her nasally voice, she called out to Strider, urging him to hurry to her side. Now Strider was not overly fond of her, but since Elrond the Gay had taken him into his home as a little tyke, he had to make nice."

"When he grimaced and tried to run the other way, Lard-Butt did the nicest thing I have ever see him do. He tripped Arwen, causing her to fall face first into the river. I should add that this caused an ecological disaster. The masses of fish that died that day were too numerous to count, causing a famine in the valley."

"Well, I was forced to return to Imladris carrying the toad that had soiled my beautiful coat. But at least he was a much lighter load than I could have carried."

"When we got to the courtyard, my favorite elf in all the world was waiting, a scowl gracing his face."

"Erestor, the only elf that truly appreciated us horses, started yelling at the top of his lungs, wanting to know what had happened. Why was I soiled? Why was Arwen soaking wet? Who had killed the fish in the river? And why was his husband limping? I took this as my cue to once again dump my burden and hurry to the stables for Erestor in a snit was more terrifying than the Dark Lord himself and I knew that it would only get worse."

"Upon entering the stables, I headed for my stall, only to stop as there were curious rustlings and moans emitting from it. Peering over the stall wall, I was not in any way shocked to find Elrond the Gay going at it with my groom. sigh I had no choice. Once again I sneezed. For some reason, Elves do not like to have horse snot covering them. It works every time."

The two elves jumped up and stumbled out of my stall, pausing at the sight of me. My groom at least pulled on his leggings before stripping me of my tack and leading me out to get that much desired bath. Elrond cringed and ran to the courtyard to try and calm his chief advisor's rage."

"I was quite pleased when I returned, to find my stall cleaned and the bedding nice and fluffy. But the best part was that Bill had been given the stall next to mine. We had a nice long chat over our oats and hay, and then I decided to give him a tour of my home."

TBC