´It still isn´t better.´, Erik thought, once again watching Christine and Meg going out of the opera. Even though his student apparently wanted to hide it, her eyes still wandered to him in lessons when she thought he wouldn´t notice. But he did notice, and although he hated himself for this behaviour it didn´t leave him entirely indifferent. Sometimes he wished he could just meet her gaze, say some friendly words and… But of course he couldn´t.
Still he wanted to know what exactly Christine was feeling for him. It was curiosity, not more and not less. That was certainly one of the wrong emotions, but he couldn´t help following its lead, out of the opera and in the park the two girls had spent a lot of time in during the last days. Fortunately not many people visited this small park, so Erik had the possibility to stand a short distance away from the bench the girls had settled on and eavesdrop on their conversation without attracting the attention of passers-by.
"I know you can do it.", Meg was just saying, squeezing her new friend´s arm softly. "It´s not that easy, Meg." Christine sounded as if she had recently cried. "I cannot just interrupt Erik´s lesson tonight and tell him: ´Oh, by the way, I love you.´." "Why don´t you give him a kiss? Then you don´t have to talk.", Meg suggested, earning a shocked look from the other girl. "You should have seen his reaction when I only touched his arm. Kiss him? He would probably refuse to ever see again. I couldn´t stand that. I´d rather remain no more than his student for all times than … than … " Her voice turned into sobs, and Meg wrapped her arms around her comfortingly.
Erik turned around and walked back to the opera. Now he had found out what he wanted to know. His plan hadn´t worked. He had given Christine a friend to distract her, but instead of doing so the stupid Giry girl encouraged her feelings for him. Erik waited for anger to build up in him, but it didn´t happen. He felt something else: It was similar to the feeling he had worked so hard on suppressing a few days ago. Though he had never had it in its full extend before he knew how to call it. It was happiness.
But he couldn´t allow himself to surrender to this emotion! He would end up being just like all other people in the opera, mere slaves to their feelings. For a second he closed his eyes and could hear Christine´s voice: ´Kiss him? He would probably refuse to ever see me again.´. No, he wouldn´t. Erik smiled slightly. Suddenly he knew what he had to do.
Briefly he thought about what he would lose: a life in complete control, shielded from the rest of the world, seemingly protected from being disappointed. And what would he gain? He saw Christine´s picture before his eyes, heard her voice and felt her hand on his shoulder. His heart seemed to swell with … love. That was what he had been fighting. One last time his mind tried to rebel, but Erik didn´t listen to it anymore. Only humans could love, and he had no doubt that he loved Christine. So his emotions had already started to undermine the superiority of his mind. Now all he had to do was showing her what he was allowing himself to feel at last, and she would return it. Erik eagerly waited for the evening.
The End
