Disclaimer: I do not own Lord of the Rings or SSBM.
A/N: Sorry about the wait. I wanted to finish up my other story first. Yey!
Lord of the Rings (SSBM Style!)
The Fellowship of the Bling-Bling
Chapter V- The Long & Pointless Walk
Pichu and Ness are standing in Pichu's room early in the morning. Pichu is going through his stuff to give to Ness. "Hmm...I've got this...and this...and- oops! Not this. That was from your daddy's wilder days."
"Your not my dad..." Ness told Pichu.
"I know..." Pichu sighed. "I know...Here! Take this!" He turned around and handed Ness a sword. "It's mah old baby! Made by the elves, y'know! And it glows blue when Orcs are near." Ness looked over the blade and held it up to Pichu. A small tiny tint of blue formed on the sword. "It's name is King!"
"Sting..." Ness corrected.
"No, It's King." Said Pichu, crossing his arms.
"It's Sting. I read the script."
"WELL SO DID I!"
"STING!"
"KING!"
"STING!"
"KING!"
"STING!"
"KING KING KING KING KING ME!"
"Damn..." Ness reached into his pocket and put a checker piece on Pichu's head as the little rat went back to searching for goodies.
Pichu held up another item for Ness. "Here!" He said, passing to to Ness. "It's Mithrill! Light as a feather, but as hard as Dragon Scales!"
"So how does the Shelobs poison get into me, IF it is indeed as tough as you say?" Ness remarked, putting his hands on his hips.
The old Pichu stood there for a second before shoving the vest at Ness. "Strip for me. Um, I mean, try it on." Ness began to take off his shirt and as he did, the ring could be seen hanging around his neck. Pichu's eyes went wide and stared. "Ooh...my...old...ring..."
"Yes." Ness said, putting his shirt back on. "Your OLD ring."
Little rat man began to rub his palms together. "I would...very much like to hold it...one last time."
"Too Bad."
"HISSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS!" Pichu jumped at Ness and bit him in his neck.
('Ness Getting Hurt' Scoreboard- 2)
The hobbit pushed Pichu off him, took the vest and ran off screaming about rabid Pichu's.
---Gates of Rivendell---
The Fellowship were standing at the gate of Rivendell with all the Elves surrounding them, bidding them good-bye. Just then, a voice boomed from no where, "HEY! THIS WASN'T IN THE ORIGINAL VERSION!!!" Peach screamed before Kirby knocked her out cold.
"My Friends..." Fox started. "We are gathered here today to bid you a last farewell before you set off to destroy the One Ring™. Most likely, you will not return. In that case, I will have to save the world myself."
But ignoring Fox, off towards the side were some pregnant Elf woman crying. "Nooooooooooo! Merry! Peepee! Don't leave us!"
Luigi rolled his eyes. "Pippin...this is getting old..."
"Don't worry ladies!" Falco said, waving his wing. "We'll be back within nine months!"
"And atlast, we are ready to head out!" Bowser said with a smile. "Like, YEY! The Fellowship-"
"-Cough-™-Cough-"
"-Awaits the Ring Bearer."
Ness skipped up to the first spot in the Fellowship and looked down the two roads. "Hmm, Mordor-"
"-Cough-™-Cough-"
"Gandalf-"
"-Cough™-Cough-" Fox was then hog-tied by the elves.
"Is it left or right?"
Bowser looked down the left road, then the right road, then the left again, then down at Ness. The camera zooms onto his face and he has a very confused look. "I have no memory of this place..." So the Fellowship thinks it's best to just rest and eat before their long mission, quest, thing.
Captain Falcon, Popo and Link are all sitting at camp fire. "Argh..." Moaned Falcon. "Gandy is so stupid."
"Yeah." Popo said with a smile. "All Humans are."
"I AM OFFENDED!" Captain Falcon yelled, punching Popo in the eye. "Take that!" The little Ice Climber's eyes filled up with tears. He then turned on his heals and ran off crying.
"Geez, look what you've gone and done NOW." Link said, rolling his eyes.
"But..." The Captain slid back down to his seat. "He called me bald..."
"Borry...You are bald..." Captain Falcon broke down crying onto Link as the Elf patted his back.
Off towards the back of Rivendell, Marth and Zelda were making out while Luigi and Falco watched. "Pssh, Lucky Marth..." Falco whispered to Luigi.
"He's always lucky..." Luigi replied, sighing.
Dr. Mario was cooking some food over another camp fire. "Hmm...food...yummy...my one line..."
At the very edge of the Gates sat Bowser, smoking his pipe. Ness slowly crawled up to him and poked him. "Um, Gandy?"
Bowser didn't replied. Instead he took a puff and said, "Riddles in the dark..."
"Can't you just teleport us to Mordor with your magical wizard powers?"
The Koopa turned around and patted Ness on the head. "No, I cannot. You see, I am but a humble wizard. You've been reading to many Harry Potter books. Ah-HA!"
"What, what is it?" Asked the Fellowship, standing up.
"I remembered the way! It's-" Bowser flipped a coin and looked at the side it landed on. "Left!" So the Fellowship, at long last, heads on out for their long and semi-pointless walk. Of course, life can be all 'Let's just watch them walk and laugh.' Oh no, we get to see what they REALLY talked about...what fun.
---Somewhere Along the Way---
"Are we there yet?" Asked Luigi.
"No." Replied Bowser.
"Now?"
"No."
Luigi waited a few seconds. "How bout n-"
Bowser turned around and yelled at Luigi, his voice dark and evil. "IF YOU DARE SAY THAT PHRASE AGAIN, I SWEAR I SHALL KILL YOU AS I DID THAT STUPID DILDO!" The entire Fellowship gasped. "Oops..."
"He killed Dildo!" Said Falco, pointing at Bowser.
"Yeah! And I was blamed!" Ness added.
Bowser began to grow tall, dark and scary and his voice became evil and echoey sounding. "Do not take me for a conjure of cheap tricks! I am not trying to rob you!"
"Eep!" The Fellowship moaned, moving together.
But as they did, Bowser's dark and evil features disappeared. "I'm trying to help you."
"Goosey Goosey Gandy!" They all yelled, running up to Bowser and hugging him.
"Yes, Yes." Said Bowser, patting their heads. "It's all right now."
So they walk and walk. Oh! They get to that very cool shot of them walking between the rocks that was in ever trailer. Bowser past by it first, holding onto his hat. Link was up second. "Hehe." He laughed. "I am sooooo cool."
Popo followed quickly, holding his mallet that was now painted as an ax. He gave a growl which sounded more like a giggle. Then come our lovely hobbits. Ness, Falco and Luigi run up first leaving poor ol' Dr. Mario to bring up the rear with there pony. Captain Falcon was next. As he was heading down, he slipped and fell on Dr. Mario. "Damn it!" Marth was last, but the camera cut away too fast to see him.
---Rock Place (Forgot if It had a name)---
"So guys, listen." Bowser said, resting on a rock. "We're gonna head this way for 40 days, ya dig? Then if we have some luck, the Gap of Rohan will still be open."
"Why would you wanna go to the Gap of Rohan!?" Ness asked, eating some food.
"I heard they sell some killer white robes." Bowser replied.
Captain Falcon was teaching Luigi and Falco how to fight. "One, Two, Five!" He said, swing his sword as Luigi blocked it. "Very good!"
Luigi tilted his head. "One, Two, Five?"
"Ooh! Me next! Me next!" Falco said, reading his sword.
"Gandy!" Popo said, poking Bowser. "If I didn't know better, I'd say we're taking the long way around. Why not pass through Moria?"
Bowser turned at Popo and screamed, "BECAUSE I HATE DWARVES!"
"OUCH!"
Bowser and Popo turned to see that Captain Falcon had hit Falco's hand. "Oops! I'm sorry!" Falcon said, reaching down to help Falco.
"YOU! YOU MADE IT BLEED!" Falco yelled, but upon checking he saw no blood. "Wait...no...you didn't...but still, THAT HURT! LET'S GET HIM!" So Falco and Luigi jump onto Captain Falcon and began beating him up while Marth sat there and laughed.
Link jumped onto a rock and looked into the sky. He saw a bunch of birds flying towards them. "What in the world?"
"It's just a wisp of smoke!" Popo said, going back to eating.
Marth had held down the two Hobbits long enough for Captain Falcon to get up and look at the cloud himself. "It's moving fast...against the wind."
"Spies from Saruman!" Link shouted.
"HIIIIIIIIDE!" Bowser yelled as the Fellowship hid under the rocks and bushes.
"Kaw! Kaw! Kaw!" Went the birds are the flew around their camp ground, landed, picked up some food and flew off. "Kaw! Kaw! Kaw!"
The rest of the Fellowship stood up and looked around. Bowser was the first to speak. "The Gap is being watched by Saruman. Damn it...I had my heart set on there. Oh well..." He pointed up towards the mountains. "We must take the pass of Caradhras!"
---Redhorn Pass of Caradhras---
The Fellowship is making their way through the snow, all freezing their asses off. "Onward to certain death!" Bowser said, holding his staff out to point onwards.
However, Ness was seeing things and thought he just heard someone say, 'Fall into my loving arms', so Ness decided to trip and roll down the hill, smashing his head into a rock.
('Ness Getting Hurt' Scoreboard- 3)
"Frodo! Are you okay?" Marth said, helping Ness up.
"Yeah. I heard a voice in my head. That's all." He replied, brushing off the snow. "Wait...The Ring! It's gone!"
There is was, lying up on the hill in snow. Ness was about to go for, but someone picked it up before he did. Captain Falcon was staring into it. "It's so pretty..." He whispered.
"I know, aren't I?" Replied the Ring.
"I want to keep it..."
"BOROMIR!" Marth yelled, interrupting his daydreaming.
"Whaaaaaaaaaaaat!" Captain Falcon replied.
"Give the ring back to Frodo."
"OH! Yeah!" Falcon skipped down the hill and handed the Ring to Frodo. "Here!" He began to walk back up towards where the others were.
Ness looked down at the Ring. "Ooooh, did you see that?!" Ring said. "He soooooo wanted me."
"WHAAAAAAAAAAAT?!" Screamed Ness, causing all of the Fellowship to turn and look at him. "But you said you only had eyes for ME!"
"Yeah, well, you see...It's kinda not working out..."
"NO! GIVE ME ANOTHER CHANCE!!!"
The Fellowship, who might I remind you, cannot hear the ring, are now questioning Ness's sanity. Captain Falcon however, on his way up the hill, tripped and rolled down. "WYAAAAAAAAAAAAH!" He screamed as he rolled down and past Ness and Marth and right off the edge of the mountain.
"Okay." Ring said. "One more chance."
"YES!" Ness jumped up and down hugging the Ring. "I'm gonna make you the happiest Ring in the world!"
"Glee!"
---Isengard---
Mewtwo was standing over the pits of fire watching his birds return to him. "Kaw! Kaw! Kaw!" Went his birds as the kitty gave an evil laugh.
"So you try and lead them over Caradhras? And what if the mountain defeats you?" Mewtwo said to no one, walking away. "Would you risk a more dangerous road? Ha-ha! I'm scheming. This is my scheming face." With that, Mewtwo teleport away.
---Higher up on Caradhras---
The Fellowship was now making their way through very deep snow during a very bad snow storm. Bowser was, again, leading. "Argh! Argh! Argh! Damn Snow!" He yelled, pushing through the snow.
Link, however, was walking ONTOP of the snow. "Hehehe!" He giggled. "I am soooooooooooo much more cooler then I was a while ago!" Something caught his eye. "There is a fell voice in the wind." He said, staring out into the snow.
Bowser turned around shocked. "IT'S SARUMAN!!" BOOM! Thunder hit the snow above them and it fell ontop of them.
"Gandalf!" Marth yelled. "We must turn back!"
"NO!" Bowser stood up and began chanting into the wind.
---Isengard---
Mewtwo was standing ontop of his tower chanting. Notice as on his right hand he was a Band-Aid.
---Caradhras---
"Oh, this is pointless..." Bowser said, throwing his staff down. "He is Saruman the White, I am Gandalf the Grey. I'm weak..."
BOOM! Thunder hit the snow above them, but this time they were all buried. Slowly, each of the Fellowship members pulled themselves out of the snow. "We cannot stay here!" Captain Falcon yelled. "This will be the death of the hobbits!"
"..." Bowser didn't answer.
"We must turn back and make for the Gap of Rohan!"
"..." Bowser didn't answer.
"If we cannot pass over the mountain, let's go through it!" Popo suggested. "Let's go through the mines of Moria!"
"..." Bowser didn't answer.
"Stop Dot, Dot, Dotting!" The Fellowship yelled.
"..." Bowser answered. "Let the Ring Bearer, decide."
Ness looked at all his friends. Captain Falcon was holding up a sign saying- 'Gap of Rohan! Great Prices off Tunics and Robes, Today Only!'. Popo was holding up a sign saying- 'You will be treated as a KING if you go to Moria, since your smaller the Dwarves!'. And Bowser was holding up a sign saying- 'Turn back and I swear I will kill you'. Ness thought about if for a second before answering. "We shall go through the mines."
"..." Bowser sighed. "So be it." The Fellowship turned away and headed back down the mountain. Caradhras had defeated them.
To Be Continued...
A/N: Did you enjoy this chapter? Hehe! I did! It was fun to write it!
