Author's Note: If any of this seems twisted (such as Herbert and Sir Lancelot being a pair), that's because I'm twisting Holy Grail around with its Broadway show, Spamalot (in which Herbert and Lancelot are a pair…teehee. So cute). Anyway…enjoy.
Chapter One: But Mother!
The young prince stood defiantly in front of his father, his nose turned up in the air while he attempted to look brave. He fiddled with the cloth of his nightgown-like robe that failed to cover enough of his bottom half.
"Father," he squeaked in the voice of a pre-pubescent boy, "there's something I need to tell you."
His father sighed, not looking up from the papers he was mechanically sorting through. "What do you want, Alice?"
"Herbert!"
"Yes, yes, Herbert, whatever."
The prince nervously danced around on his feet, making his hands into fists.
"I-I've decided to follow my dream and take a journey to this new place that was discovered recently…it's called America. It seems to have flourished overnight. There's all sorts of things there, father! They have something called reality TV! And I…I want to try out for one of these Reality TV's!"
The father glanced up at his daughter, I mean son, and looked at him suspiciously.
"And what kind of show might this be?"
"Why – it's a singing competition!"
The father leapt to his feet, throwing papers about. "What! No! Stop that! No singing, Alice!"
"It's Herbert! And I'm going!" He held his nose stiffly in the air. "And my dear Lancelot is coming with me!"
"Are you daft?" The father shook his head. "Never mind. Now listen, you – I accepted that you're more of a woman than a man…"
"Well yes, I am the woman when Lancelot and I…"
"No, no, stop it! Let me finish! I accepted that. I also accepted that no matter how many times I try to kill you, you're going to pull through. But I will not let you sing!"
Prince Herbert, about to throw a tantrum, stomped his feet loudly on the floor. "But mother…!"
"Father!"
"Father! Now you listen!" Herbert began to sweat nervously. "This is m-my dream, and I won't let you r-rip it away from me!" With a huff, he stormed out of his father's office, purposely knocking things onto the floor and trying to make it look accidental. He was quite bad at it.
Once outside, he took a trip through the field, trying to calm himself by smelling the flowers. While he did this, there was a loud music swell from no where.
A window from the tower opened wide. "Stop that music!"
Herbert, in a childish fit of despair, flung himself into the flowers, sobbing quietly.
"Oh, my evil mother…father! He never lets me do anything I want! But…no, not this time! I'm going to do it! I, Alice…Herbert! I, Herbert, am going to be the next American Idol!"
