Disclaimer: I do not own anything you are about to read. Nothing. Nada. Zip. Zero.

A/N: Hello all my lovely fans. Ready for a sad chapter? I am. Enjoy!

Lord of the Rings: (SSBM Style)
The Fellowship of the Bling-Bling

Chapter VII- Bye-Bye Bowser!

---Balin's Tomb---

The Fellowship was standing there, their heads low in sadness over the death of a dwarf they had never met. "We mustn't linger her!" Link said, poking Captain Falcon, who fell to the ground.

"Damn you, Elf!" He said, standing up.

Bowser walked over to a dead body of a dwarf and started to pull the book from his hands. "NO! IT'S MINE!" Yelled the dead dwarf as Bowser ripped the book from his hands. "OoOoOooooOoOooOOoooOoW!"

"They have taken the bridge..." Bowser read. "Drums, in the deep."

While Bowser read, Luigi was walking around the tomb doing stuff that would get you yelled at. "Ooooooh..." He said, coming to a dead dwarf's body, sitting on the edge of a well. Luigi paused for a second, then said out loud, "I'm gonna be stupid and touch it!"

"We have locked the doors...We can not get out..."

Luigi reached up towards the arrow in the chest...

"They are coming...!"

Oops! Luigi twisted the arrow and his head fell off into the well, making loud clanging sounds till it at last smashed into the bottom of the well. Bowser looked over at Luigi with wide eyes. "FOOL OF A TOOK!" He screamed, whacking Luigi on his head. "DID YOU NOT HERE ME?! THEY ARE COMING!" The mad koopa then began to slap Luigi silly. "BAD! BAD! BAD! BAD! BAD!"

Luigi stared up at Bowser with big, tearful eyes and began to cry. "Now look what you've done!" Ness yelled.

"He started it!"

From deep within the mines, sounds of drums and some monster thingys chanting, 'Arrororororoooo!' could be heard. "They will be the ones who finish it..." Dr. Mario said, backing up towards Bowser.

Bowser's eyes went wide. "They are coming!"

"AAAAAAAAH! WE'RE ALL GONNA DIE!" Captain Falcon screamed, running around the tomb. "I DON'T WANT TO DIE! I'M TOO YOUNG!! I'VE HAVEN'T EVEN HAD SEX YET!" SLAP! "Ow..."

Marth was standing next to Falcon, who had a big red hand print on his face. "Shut up and go close the doors." Captain Falcon nodded and ran up towards the doors. He looked outside, gasped and withdrew his head as two arrows hit the door and Marth dashed up and helped him shut them.

"Words can not discribe the fear I have just seen..." Captain Falcon said with a shocked face. "So I shall use the magic of Interruptive dance!" He began dancing around the room singing, "They have a cave troll!" Link ingored Captain Falcon and tossed Marth some axes to help shut the door.

Luigi leaned over and whispered to Falco, "I didn't know you sing in interruptive dance..."

"Quick!" Marth yelled to the Hobbits. "Stay close to Gandy!"

"Come to me, my little strawberries!" Bowser comanded, pulling the four close to him.

"AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAARGH!" Popo yelled, jumping on the tomb. "LET THEM COME! THERE IS STILL ONE DWARF/ICE CLIMBER LEFT IN MORIA THAT STILL DRAWS BREATH!"

Link and Marth quickly drew out their bows and pointed them at the door. The Goblins began to hack away at the wood as a small hole opened. Link shot his arrow into the holw and killed something, then drew another. Marth then shot into a new hole and killed one just as the door came in. "Arororororoorooooooo!" Chanted scary Goblins as they charged into the room. (A/N: That IS the sound they make, right?) Link shot another through it's next before Captain Falcon and Marth charged in.

"YAAAA!" Yelled Marth and he swung his sword into a Goblin. He turned around and cut another in two and stabbed one behind him in his chest. Captain Falcon's fighting style was different, tripping over anything in his path and causing mass destruction with his sword.

Bowser charged into the Goblins followed by the wittle hobbits and begin attacking the same one. Popo was whacking Goblins as they ran by the tomb. Link was also shooting some Goblins and using his dagger/sword/whatever you picture him with to kill as well. Well that was all good and everything, but now a random Goblin comes in with a chain. He gave it a tuck and BOOM! ENTER THE CAVE TROLL!! "Wow..." Bowser and Link said, staring at the giant troll.

"HE WASN'T IN THE BOOK!" Falco screamed before going back to killing Gobbies.

So Mr. Cave Troll brings his club flying downwards towards Dr. Mario. "Eep...Duck-" He rolled inbetween the Cave Troll's legs. "And Cover! HA!" The other Fellowship members rolled their eyes and went back to fighting.

Marth, Captain Falcon and Link quickly ran over to the chain that was still around the Cave Troll's neck. They began pulling it and dragging it over to the side. "ROAR!" Went the Cave Troll. (A/N: ARGH! I HATE FIGHTING SCEENS!! -cries-) Marth looked into Link's eyes and notices a plan of evil. They both let go of the chain as Cave Troll swung his body around, sending Captain Falcon, who was still holding on, into a soild wall.

"Ouuuffffh..." He moaned before he passed out.

Popo was still ontop of the tomb. He tosses a mini-ax/hammer into the Cave Troll's leg. "Roar!" Went the Cave Troll again. He brought his club down onto the tomb and smashed it to peices just as Popo jumped out of the wave.

"FO BALIN!" Popo yelled, whacking the Cave Troll with his hammer. When the giant turned around and glared at Popo, the little dwarf dashed off into a hole in the wall crying.

Then the Cave Troll's eyes came upon Ness. "Roar?!" He roared.

Ness turned and looked at the Cave Troll. "Why does everyone want me?!" He whined as the Cave Troll charged at him. He jumped out of the way and hide ontop of a ledge.

"Ness!" Falco whispered, hiding with Luigi behind another pillar. "Come here!" Ness made a dash for Falco and Luigi but the Cave Troll was all like, 'No way, bitch!' and swung his club into the ledge, sending the Ringbearer flying.

"Ouch..." The angsty hobbit said, looking around. The Cave Troll was closing in and he had no where to go. "NO! SPARE US! SPAAAAARE US!!" Ness closed his eyes and awaited death but then Marth jumped down from the ledge all heroic and speared the troll in the chest.

"HAHA!" Marth cheered as the choir in the back went, 'Aragorn!'. But then the Cave Troll whacked Marth into the wall, knocking him out cold. The Cave Troll pulled the spear from his chest and threw it at Ness.

"GAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAASSSSSSSP!" Ness, um, gasped as the Cave Troll began to twist the spear within Ness.

('Ness Getting Hurt' Scoreboard: 5)

Bowser turned around and saw Ness and the Cave Troll. "Why do they always want HIM!?" He whined, then went back to fighting.

Falco and Luigi looked at eachother and were all, 'Now it's on.' So they jump onto the Cave Trolls back and began stabbing it. Link took out his bow and got into postion..."DIE!" Falco yelled, jabbing his sword into the Troll's back.

"ROAR!" Yelled Mr. Cave Troll. Link shot his arrow into his mouth and it went right into the poor Troll's brain. "Ooooouh..." The Cave Troll began to stagger. "I was so misunderstood..." He whined before going, 'Oooooooooouuuuuuuuoooooooooooh' and falling to the ground, dead.

Captain Falcon stuck his head out from his hole. "Where am I?" He looked over at the Troll and screamed. "Is it dead!?"

Over with Ness, Marth began to pick the limp body into his arms, but Dr. Mario cut him off and did it himself. "Frodo?!" They both asked in unison.

Ness opened his eyes and let out a loud gasp. "FOOLED YOU! HAHAHA!!!"

"But how?" Marth asked. "That spear! It would have killed me!"

"Duh, you're a human..." Ness showed them the vest of Mithrill. "Or maybe it was this?"

"Mithrill..." Popo said, amazed. "You're full of surprises, Master Baggins..."

"I know."

Bowser suddenly appeared. "Hey guys, I'm sorry to interupt this touching seen, but..." He pointed out the door, which you could see little Goblin shadows moving up the stairs on the wall. "We must make for the Bridge of Khazad-Dûm!"

So the Fellowship runs out of the tomb with the cool music playing! Yeah! Look at them run! They keep running through the long hallway, even though behind was a trail of Goblins. Soon the Fellowship was surrounded. "CRAP!" Went the Fellowship.

"Hehehe!" Went the Goblins.

But as the Goblins were closing in, a sound of banging was heard in the distance. The Goblins looked at each other and quickly dashed off. The Fellowship stared in surprise and then the banging got louder. "What new devilry is this Gandy?" Captain Falcon whispered to Bowser.

Bowser closed his eyes and rested on his staff. "A Balrog...This foe is beyond any of you..."

"!!!" The Fellowship gasped in shocked.

"..." Bowser still had his eyes closed.

"What do we do?!" The Fellowship asked.

"..." Bowser still had his eyes closed.

"Gandalf!?"

"Wha?" Bowser looked up and rubbed his eyes. "Oh sorry, I dozed off... RUN!!"

So they do. The run through a door and down some stairs, but there is a small crack in them. Link shows off his Elf skills and jumps across. "Gandalf!" He says as Bowser jumps into Link's arms. But Bowser was too heavy and he crushed Link, causing the two of them to roll down the stairs. Captain Falcon grabbed Luigi and Falco and jumped. When they did, some more of the rocks began to fall.

Captain Falcon landed safely, and put the two down. "Wow...I did something...with out messing it up!" He was about to do a victory dance, but remembered he could fall to his death at any moment.

Marth tossed Dr. Mario over, who fell ontop of Captain Falcon. Like Link and Bowser, the two of them rolled down the stairs and disappeared. Marth reached over to Popo but was stopped by his hand. "Nobody tosses a Dwarf!" So Popo ran for all his might and jumped, and almost didn't make it. Luigi threw his hand out and grabbed Popo by his hood as he yelled, "Not the hood!"

"I thought it was beard..." Luigi said, pulling the dwarf onto the stair.

"Ew, Beards?" Popo stood up and brushed the dirt off his clothes. "Beards are icky."

Now for more tension, more of the stairs begin to fall away and a giant stone comes smashing down on the back. Marth and Ness are stuck on the stairs. "Lean foward..." Marth said. Ness did so and the stair came crashing into the other side. The two hoped off and the Five rushed down the stairs to find the others as the the back stairs fell into the fire below. Might I add, that same cool music is still playing.

So they keep running and find the other four near the bridge of Khazad-Dûm. "What kept you?" Asked Bowser as he pushed them over the bridge. So they ran across it just as the Balrog appeared. Bowser stopped in the middle of the bridge and glared at the Balrog.

"Who dares disturb my slumber?" Asked Balrog, yawning. He made a flaming bullwhip appear and started to cross the bridge.

"You can not pass!" Bowser said, reading his sword and staff.

The other Fellowship members stared wide-eyed. "Wait, he was SERIOUS?!" Ness yeld, remembering what he had said last chapter.

"Well, ya, I can pass..." Balrog took a step onto the bridge.

The Koopa mage began casting a sheild around him. "I am the sevant to the Secret Fire, weilder of the flame of Anor! Dark fire will not avail you, Flame of Udûn!"

"Oooooh Mr. Tough Guy now?" Balrog laughed.

Bowser gave a snarl. "Go back to the shadow."

"NO!"

"YOOOOOOOOOOOU! SHAAAAAAAALL NOOOOOOOOOOOT! PAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAASS!" Bowser screamed, slamming his staff into the stone, causing the rock around the Balrog to break.

"AAAAAAAAAAAAAH!" Balrog yelled, falling intothe darkness. "NOTICE AS I HAVE WINGS, BUT CAN NOT FLY!!!"

Bowser smirked as he watched the Balrog fall into the darkness. He turned around and lifted his arms. "I AM GANDALF, HEAR ME ROAR!!" But then the bullwhip flew back up and grabbed Bowser by the leg. "ARGH!" He fell to the ground as was dragged over to the edge of the bridge.

"GANDALF!" Yelled the Fellowship. Marth began to run over to him but was stopped by Goblins shooting arrows.

"GANDY!" Ness stared in shock and horror.

Bowser looked towards the Fellowship with sad eyes. "Fly, you fools!" So he lets go and falls into the darkness.

"NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!" Screamed Ness in Slow Motion. The arrows began to hit closer to the Fellowship, to they decicded to morn later and get the hell out. But of course, in slow motion.

---Right outside Moria---

Everyone dashed onto the rocks through the giant, non-hidden gate. Luigi fell to the ground and started to cry along with Falco. Popo was trying to run back into the Mines saying he forgot his bag and Captain Falcon was holding him. And over in the corner was Link with a look on his face that showed he didn't know that this is what death was. Marth, who has ice in his blood, just cleans off his sword. "Lego! Get them up."

"GIVE THEM A MOMENT YOU COLD HEARTED RANGER!" Yelled Captain Falcon.

"By night, these hills will be filled with orcs! We don't want that, now do we?!"

"No Mr. Marth..." Said the Fellowship dully.

Marth nodded and picked Dr. Mario up. "On your feet Sam." He looked around. "Hey, where is Frodo?"

"Hey, ho, to the bottle I go! To heal my heart and drown my woe! The rain may fall, the wind may blow, but there are still many miles to go!" Ness sang, skipping down the hill.

"Ummm..."

"Oh yeah!" Ness turned around as a single tear slid down his face.

To Be Continued...

A/N: Geez, and I thought it was bad in Script format. MY EYES ARE BURNING! Oh yeah, here is Bowser's lament.

Bowser: -Cries- I died! Waaaaaaaaaaah!

When evening in the Shire was grey his footsteps on the Hills were heard;
before the dawn he went away on journey long without a word.

From Wilderland to Western shore,
from northern waste to southern hill,
through dragon-lair and hidden door and darkling woods he walk at will.

With Dwarf and Hobbit, Elves and Men,
with mortal and immortal folk,
with bird on bough and beast in den,
in their own secret tongues he spoke.

A deadly sword, a healing hand,
a back that bent beneath its load;
a trumpet-voice, a burning brand,
a weary pilgrim on the road.

A lord of wisdom, throned he sat,
swift in anger, quick to laugh;
an old man in a battered hat who leaned upon a thorny staff.

He stood upon the bridge alone and Fire and Shadow both defied;
his staff was broken on the stone,
in Khazad-Dûm his wisdom died.

Bowser: Woah. Did you make that just for meeeeeeeee? -Sheepish grin- Thank you J.R.R. Tolken!