The lake was still and smooth, like shimmering glass. It was a stark contrast to the feeling in Ryan's gut as he and Marissa reached the water's edge. "So, where do I start?" Ryan laughed nervously. He felt like, if he didn't let out a chuckle, he would pass out or something.
"How 'bout the beginning. You moved in with Theresa?" Marissa asked, her hands pulling at the sides of her sweatpants as she started walking along the shore of the lake.
"Yeah," he nodded. "Um, I moved in there and Eddie got pissed, things blew up. I got a construction job and moved into my own place until the baby was born. It was safer for everyone." He raised an eyebrow and Marissa smiled knowingly. She was probably the only one of his Newport friends who would really get the dynamic between he and his "friends" from Chino.
"Why not just come back to the Cohens until the baby was born?"
He shrugged. "I don't know. I wanted to, but Sandy said that Seth had taken off and you were gone, and I just didn't feel like I belonged there either. It was easier to just stay where I was." Something about the fact that opening up to Marissa still came fairly easily made him feel like this little trip had been worth it. He hadn't realized, in the last five years, that he missed talking to her so much. "But then Jada was born, and the world spun out of control, and I didn't have time to think about missing anyone."
"Jada's your daughter? Summer said she baby-sits sometimes?"
Ryan dug into his back pocket and withdrew his wallet, fishing out the first picture he could find. He handed it over and waited for the look of shock on Marissa's face. She didn't fail him. He smiled as he shoved the wallet back into his pants. "She clearly wasn't mine," he shrugged, referring to the stark contrast in their appearances.
"Unless you have some really regressed African heritage," Marissa suggested. She gazed lovingly at Jada's poofy, black pigtails and mocha skin. "But she's beautiful."
He nodded as she handed the picture back. "Didn't matter to me, ya know? The DNA? She was mine before she was born." He looked sideways at her. "I guess I don't have to tell you that, right?" She grinned. "Um, Eddie didn't feel the same way. He got drunk, tried to run us off the road on the way back from a doctor's appointment, got sent to prison – the Chino usual," he explained. "She told me I didn't have to stick around, but I couldn't leave Jada. I can't explain it to you, because she was a great mom, but I just couldn't take the thought of being away from that little girl. It was this totally weird feeling for a high school senior, but it was real."
They stopped on the far side of the lake and Marissa sat, waiting for Ryan to do likewise. She squinted toward him against the sun and pulled a dandelion from the grass beside her. "So, how did you get back to Newport?"
Ryan sighed and dropped his head, staring at the water. This was the hard part of the story. "Um, things were good for about a year. And then Theresa met this guy. And he seemed to like Jada. He had a better job than I did, so Theresa seemed to think he was qualified to be a father." He took a deep breath and shrugged with a slight laugh. "But he wasn't so fond of me, and he demanded that she tell me to stay the hell away from the kid and from her."
"But she wouldn't," Marissa filled in the blank he left.
Shaking his head, Ryan raised his eyes to look at the sky. "You know Theresa," he said with a tone of fond recollection. "He didn't like it, though, and he raped her. Beat the shit out of her. Left her bleeding in the middle of her bed, and rather than let me find her like that, or her mom or Jada, she just ended it."
"She what?" Marissa gasped. "She killed herself?"
Ryan nodded. He was used to the reaction, but was numb to it himself. It was tragic, no doubt, but he couldn't dwell on it. "Her mom couldn't afford to take Jada, so I called Sandy, we worked out the details, Eddie signed off his rights, and we moved back. I've got a good job, a small apartment, and I'm going to UCI. Summer and Seth, Sandy and Kirsten help me out. It's good, Marissa. Really good," he sighed.
She smiled and nodded. "Sounds like it." He offered her a small grin. "I'm really happy for you."
"I'm happy for you, too," he returned the compliment. "I mean, I'm glad you got help."
They stood and walked back toward the main building in comfortable silence. "So," Marissa spoke when they got back to Summer, sitting on a bench in the courtyard, reading a book. "Maybe we can all hang out sometime after I get released?"
Summer said nothing, only packed her reading materials in her large purse and waited for Ryan to answer. "I don't know. You comin' home?" She bit her lip, smiled, and nodded. "Then we'll definitely hang. I'll bring Jada, you bring some sparkling cider, and we'll make Seth grill for us."
"Sounds perfect," Summer agreed, hugging Marissa again. "It was good to see you again, Coop."
She clung tightly to Ryan's neck next and then rubbed his back. "Thank you for coming," she whispered in his ear, fighting the tears that popped up unexpectedly.
He sniffled his own tears back and tightened his grip on her thin waist. "Take care of yourself, okay?"
They spent another five minutes promising to write and call before Summer led the way back to the car. "So?" she asked when they were back on the road.
"So thank you for lying to me and dragging me here against my will?" he joked.
Summer smacked his gut with the back of her hand. "Alright, smartass. What do you think? Sparkage anymore?"
Ryan shook his head and watched the highway speed by. "There's only one girl I'm thinking about these days, Summer."
She rolled her eyes. "You haven't had sex in almost a year, Ryan. I love Jada, too, but there are some things a girl just can't give her daddy."
He shot her a look that told her she was not allowed to refer to his daughter and his sex life in the same sentence, EVER, and then reached to fidget with the radio. "I can't just sleep with someone anymore, Summer. I mean, the last time? With that girl, Beth, from school? Jada still asks me when she's coming back over sometimes. I have to be careful."
Summer nodded as her cell phone rang. Ryan could deny it – he probably would for awhile. But she had a feeling that the bond between Ryan Atwood and Marissa Cooper wasn't going to be broken much longer.
END
