A/N: Sorry about the delay, I haven't had much time for writing. Also, if any of you have read my other stories, you hear them mention 'Peach's Magic cell phone.' Right? Well in this chapter, you find out where it came from!
Lord of the Rings: (SSBM Style!)
The Fellowship of the Bling-Bling
Chapter IX: The Breaking of the Fellowship?! NOEZ!
--Isengard---
Mewtwo was standing in his tower with some giant Orc thing. The floating kitty was poking him in the arm. "Do you know how the Orcs first came to be?"
"NO!" Said Mr. Orc.
"They were elves once. But I turned them ugly."
"OH!"
"And now I've made them even uglier. My fighting Uruk-Hai!"
"YES!" Cheered Uruk-Hai Leader named Lurtz.
"And who's your daddy?"
"SARUMAN!"
---Deeper Places of Isengard---
Mewtwo was watching over the Orcas who were getting the Uruk-Hari's ready for battle. The yelling of the Uruks was so loud that the very sensitive ears of the pokemon were now bleeding. "MY EARS! THEY BLEED!"
"HAHA!" Laughed Lurtz only to receive a slap from Mewtwo.
"DO NOT MAKE FUN OF MY GENETIC DISABLITY!" Mewtwo paused, took in a breath and began to yell over the screaming. "YOU DO NOT KNOW PAIN, YOU DO NOT KNOW FEAR, YOU WILL TASTE MAN FLESH!"
"YEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEAH!" Cheered the hoards of Uruk-Hai's.
Mewtwo turned to Lurtz. "One of the Halflings holds something very dear and near to me. Bring them back, alive."
"Awwwwwww..." Moaned Lurtz. But as the cat in white was leaving, he turned and pat the Uruk-Hai on the back and said,
"Kill the others."
---Lothlórien---
Peach is riding down the river in a swan boat, looking very elf like...if she wasn't talking on her magic cell phone. "So, y'know, I was all, 'Instead of a Dark Lord, You'd have a queen' and he was all, 'Help me, I'm lost and confused without Gandalf!' And I was all-" She stops to see that the camera was on her. "Listen Betty, I'm gonna haveta call ya back, cell phones aren't aloud in Middle Earth times."
---Flashback 1---
The Fellowship are being cloaked in Elven Robes by Sheik, Young Link and six other elves that have no names. "Never before have we cloaked strangers in our own garments." Said Sheik. "May these robes protect you from unfriendly eyes."
"You guys are sooooo lucky." Added Young Link.
---End Flashback 1---
Luigi and Falco are sitting in a boat, playing some version of Pong. Captain Falcon, joined the two of them as Ness, Dr. Mario and Popo each ran to a boat. Marth was no where to be seen and Link was busy packing up the food. "Guys! Look!" Link said, holding up a piece of bread as Luigi and Falco look up. "It's Lambas Bread!" The Elf took a bite and smiled. "One small bite can fill the tummy of a grown man!" He placed the Lambas bread down, gave a thumbs up as the words, 'Lambas Bread! Link Approved! Available at any Elf Food Market!' scrolled across the screen.
"Really..." Falco said dully.
"Wow..." Added Luigi.
Link went back to packing the food while Falco asked, "So how many did you have already?"
"Hmm..about four..."
---Off in the woods---
SLAP!
"OUCHY!" Marth yelled, holding his now read check.
"You!" Said Peach, pointing her finger in Marth's face. "You better not be getting frisky with my granddaughter!"
Marth backed away in fear of the crazy princess. "OMFG LIEZZZZ! I don't know what you're talking about, Miss Dark Lord." Peach gasped as Marth continued. "I would have her sail away with the rest of her kin, anyway."
Peach paused for a second to let this sink in. "........Oh......Okay then." Marth left Peach and hoped in Ness's and Dr. Mario's boat. The Fellowship waved goodbye to the elves and began to sail towards the great river that has a name but I forgot was it was. Something with a 'A'.
---Flashback 2---
"And you, Legolas, I give you this bow." Peach said, handing Link a bow. "See? It has my face on it!" She pointed to the face on the top of the bow, which was most definitely her.
"Wow!" Said Link in awe. "Thanks Aunty Peach!"
---End Flashback 2---
"Thats a great bow..." Link muttered to himself, going back to day dreaming.
---Flashback 3---
Luigi and Falco were playing with daggers. "Cool!" They both cheered in unison, both stabbing each other in the chest.
"Yes, very cool. Use them wisely." Peach said with a smile, then walked over to Dr. Mario. "And for you, I give you real elven rope." She handed the rope down to Dr. Mario and held up a picture of Link giving the thumbs up as the words: 'Real Elven Rope! Link Approved! Available at any Elven Convenience Store!' rolled across the screen.
"Rope? That's it?!" Dr. Mario yelled in shock. "I don't get a nice dagger!?"
"Take it or leave it, fatty." There was a pause before Dr. Mario reached up and took the rope from Peach, muttering not nice words at the princess.
---End Flashback 3---
"Ouchy..." Luigi said, trying to pull Falco's dagger out of his chest. "It hurts..." Falco just rolled his eyes and sighed before they both passed out for lack of blood.
---Flashback 4---
Peach walked over to Popo. "And what gift would a Dwarf ask of the Elves?" She asked.
The Ice Climber looked at the ground and began to shuffle his feet. "No-Nothing! Just to look upon that which is fairest one last time." He said with a blush.
"I know, I'm so sexy." Peach said, flipping her hair. "Sah-WEET!"
"Well..." Popo spoke up again. "There is one thing...and why I'm about to ask it is beyond me..."
---End Flashback 4---
The Fellowship is almost at the boarders of Lothlórien when Ness turned and saw Peach standing on the river bank and his mind returned to the only flashback shown in the movies.
---Flashback 5---
"And to you, Frodo Baggins, I give our most beloved star." Ness stared at Peach in confusion as she handed him a picture frame with her picture in it. "May it be a light for you, when all other lights go out."
Ness looked it over for a second then asked, "And how is a picture gonna do that?" Peach sighed and pressed a little button on the frame.
"Oooooh, did I win?" Said the Picture as it lit up and began to play the Mario Brothers Theme.
"Oh...I see now..."
---End Flashback 5---
So, at long last, the Fellowship has left Lothlórien and are now sailing down the Great River. Luigi and Falco were riding with Captain Falcon, Dr. Mario and Ness were with Marth, and Link and Popo were together, so lets start with those two. Popo sighed and stared into space. "I have looked upon that which is fairest. Hence forth I shall call nothing fair unless it is her gift to me."
Link sighed. "Why do you always get your lines right?"
"I have a bunch of dirt in my pocket..."
"AAAAA- Erm, I mean, And what was her gift to you?"
"I asked for one hair of her golden head..." Popo sighed again. "She gave me three..."
"Thats gross..."
"Damn my luck..." Captain Falcon muttered, rowing their boat along. "I shouldn't have slept in. I missed that gift giving thingy!"
Luigi patted Captain Falcon on the back. "It's alright. I'll let you use my dagger once Falco takes it out of his chest."
"You didn't sleep in, idiot." Falco said. "I saw you...and the elf girl...under the tree...in the back...away from everyone..."
Captain Falcon whacked Falco on the head and KOed him in a second. "I don't know what he was talking about!"
"Silly, Silly Merry." Luigi said, shaking his head and sighing.
---The next day---
"HEY EVERYONE!" Link yelled from behind the rest of the Fellowship. The group turned and look at Link and Popo's boat. "Watch my special trick!" He lifted his paddle and began to twirl it and do weird hand movements. While Link tried to show off, Popo leaned just a little to the left and...
"Oopsy." Popo said with a smirk as Link gave a look of pure horror and the boat capsized and the Fellowship pointed and laughed.
Later on that night, the Fellowship members were sitting around a camp fire while Popo and Link dryed off. "Stupid Dwarf..." Muttered Link and only getting a series of giggles for a answer.
Ness walked over to his sleeping spot for the night and tried to rest, but he heard Marth and Captain Falcon talking. "Tssk. I would hoped we would have lost him on the river, but I guess he's too good a waterman..." Marth whispered as he watched a log float up to the other side of the river bank and stop.
"Its just a log..." Captain Falcon said. "What me to go kill it?"
"Nah."
"Hey, I have a question. Why don't we make for the Gap of Rohan? I keep telling you they have the best offers on clothes but you just don't listen!"
"Because..." Marth said, taking the 'Because...' approach.
"Because why? You trusted the Elves so quickly..." Captain Falcon asked.
"BECAUSE I HATE HUMANS!!!" Marth yelled, running off to go cry.
---The Next Day Again---
Once again, the Fellowship is sailing down the Great River, but now they are passing two giant statues. "Look Frodo!" Marth said, pointing at the statues. "Its the two giant statues that look like they belong in Star Wars."
"The Argonath?" Ness and Dr. Mario asked in unison.
"Right, what did I say?" So the three boats dock on the right side of the river in Amon Hen. Popo and Dr. Mario get a fire going while Luigi and Falco were both lying down in the back, Ness wandered off, again and Captain Falcon went out to look for fire wood. "Okay everyone! At first light tomorrow, we cross the river and continue on the other side."
"Are you crazy?!" Popo yelled, making Dr. Mario almost fall into the fire. "That will lead us to Emyn Muil! A very evil bunch of rocks! And then we've got a swamp that smells almost as bad as you to cross!"
"Uh-huh, and that is our path. So I suggest you rest, Master Dwarf." Marth said with a smirk.
"We can not linger here!" Link said, poking Marth. "I see Orcs..."
"Really? Oh...we better move then. Where is Frodo?" Marth looked around and saw no sign of the little hobbit. And then he saw Captain Falcon's shield. "...Shit..."
---Deeper in Amon Hen---
Ness was walking through the forest and looking at the giant head that had fallen to the ground. "Oooh, look at that Ringy!" He said, pointing at the head.
'It's pretty." Replied the Ring.
"Hullo Frodo."
"AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA- Oh it's you Borry." The little Hobbit backed away from Captain Falcon after the guy almost scared him to death.
Captain Falcon walked up to Ness. "You shouldn't wander off."
"I have a friend with me..." Ness said, holding the ring.
"Speaking of Friend..." He threw the logs he was holding to the ground and jumped on top of Ness. "GIVE ME THE RING! I COMAND IT OF YOU!"
"AAAAAH! NO!" Ness yelled, trying to escape the grasp of Captain Falcon. Soon he was driven to...PUT THE RING ON! Ness disappeared and somehow Captain Falcon lost his grip on the boy.
"I SEE WHAT YOUR GONNA DO! YOU'LL BETRAY US ALL! YOUR NOTHING BUT A LITTLE PEICE OF FISH POOP!" Yelled Captain Falcon, who promptly received a punch to the jaw by the invisible Ness. "...Ow..."
Ness quickly ran away and up some stairs, in goring Captain Falcon's yelling saying he's sorry. Ness quickly ran and hid behind what he thought was a stone bird or something, thinking he was safe. Suddenly, the world Ness was in began to show Mordor and...Master Hand! "Mawhahahaa!" Laughed the evil hand. "I see you!"
"How?!" Ness yelled. "You have no eyes!"
"HEY! Don't disrespect my dad!" Said the Ring.
The Hobbit began to get scared, so he pulled the ring off and fell off the monument he was on and landed with a thud. "Ow...My body feels broken..."
('Ness Getting Hurt' Scoreboard: 6)
"Frodo?"
Ness looked up to see Marth. "Hey smelly ranger. The Ring has taken over Boromir's mind, would you be a dear and do something about it?"
Marth began to run to Ness. "Where is the Ring?!" He asked in a angry tone, causing the little hobbit to get up and run.
"Stay away! WAAAAAAH!" He yelled, running.
Marth caught up to Ness and stared at him in shock. "Frodo! What da hell you doing? I swore on my life I'd protect you."
"Can you protect me from..." Ness paused as dramatic music boomed in the background. "YOURSELF?!" He held the Ring out in his hand and asked, "Would you destroy him?"
"WHAT?! Oh forget you Frodo!" Said Mr. Ring. The Ring began to call out to Marth. "Aragorn...Aragorn..." Marth began to get closer to the Ring and reach for it. "Elessar..."
"What?! Elessar?!" Marth yelled, causing Ness to jump, as he didn't hear the Ring. "No one calls me Elessar..." Marth folded Ness's hand around the Ring. "I would have gone with you, into the very fiery pits of Mordor."
"I know..." Ness said, hugging Marth. "I luv you."
"Get off and look at your sword." Marth commanded. Ness took out his sword and gasped. It was glowing blue! Frodo! RUN! RUN! RUN DAMN IT, RUN!" Ness gasped and quickly ran off as Marth withdrew his sword and turned to face the hoard of Uruk-Hai's. "Hello Boys." He greeted, doing that cool sword move that you saw Aragorn do if you saw the movie.
"Mawhahahaha!" Laughed Lurtz. "KILL HIM!"
The Uruk-Hai's charged at Marth, but the first few were quickly killed by a few of Marth's cool sword moves. After taking out about five, he turned and ran up the stairs of the monument and began to fight the few Uruk-Hai's that stupidly followed him. He stabbed the first through it's chest and kicked the dead body down the stairs, knocking the other Uruks off. Once on top, he chopped the arm off of a Uruk-Hai following him, then killed in with what a move that look like his Shield Breaker. Marth turned around and jumped the monument and landed on top of two Uruk-Hai's, knocking them out. Popo and Link quickly ran up, Popo throwing a mini ax and Link shooting a Uruk-Hai.
Marth stood up and brushed the dirt off his armor. "What took you?"
"The little dwarf had to stop and brush his teeth." Link said, rolling his eyes.
Meanwhile, Ness was quickly dashing through the wood trying to escape the hoards of Uruk-Hai's chasing him. "Why meeeee?!" He whined as he hid behind a tree.
"Bsst! Frodo!" Ness turned to see Luigi and Falco hiding under a dead tree. "Hide here!" Falco said, but Ness just shook his head no. "What?!"
"He's leaving!!" Luigi exclaimed.
"Yes and I think our lines were mixed up for that one seen..." Falco paused for a second then got an idea. "Let's be hero's, okay?" Luigi nodded with a smile and the two of them got out of their hiding spot and began to insult the Uruk-Hai's. Ness took this chance to run a different direction from which Luigi and Falco were running. The two were running and were almost home free but then they ran into...a corner. "Oh no!"
"Shit!" Luigi jumped into Falco's arms. "Hold me!"
The Uruk-Hai's began to close in on the two and it looked very grim but then... "AYAYAYA!" Yelled Captain Falcon jumped out from the bushes and killed the first Uruk-Hai he saw. "Quickly, run like the wind my little hobbits!" He commanded.
Falco and Luigi looked at each other, then back at Captain Falcon, who was killing Uruk-Hai after Uruk-Hai, and tripping over his own feet in the process. "NO!" They both yelled in unison. They picked up rocks and began tossing them at the Uruk-Hai's to try and help Captain Falcon.
---Back up the hill---
Marth, Popo and Link were chasing the Uruk-Hai's and killing them as they went along. Popo swung his ax/mallet and killed a giant Uruk-Hai, Marth was swing his sword around and chopping anything near him to bits, and Link was shooting Uruk-Hai after Uruk-Hai after Uruk-Hai, not slowing down. "Ha! I am sooooo cool." Link said with a smirk as he killed his 15th Uruk.
"Yah, Yah, Yah..." Popo said, rolling his eyes. He jumped up and whacked a Uruk-Hai on the head so hard that he broke it's neck and it fell to the ground.
Off in the background, the sound of a horn was heard. Link and Popo turned in the direction of where it was coming from. "The Horn of Gondor!" Link stated.
Marth pulled his sword of a dead Uruk-Hai he had just stabbed and stared in horror. "Boromir! SHIT!"
The three of them quickly began to run in the direction of where the horn was heard from. "Uh-oh!" Peach's voice was heard. "Will the three of them reach Captain Falcon in time? Will Ness really leave? Will I ever get a bigger part? Find out next time!"
To Be Continued...
A/N: Chapter 9 is done!!!!
Bowser: Does that mean...it ends next chapter?!
Entire Cast: NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!
