Chapter 12 --- Original Ending
This is the last chapter of the first ending.
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Dr. Bomboy came in the room about an hour after she'd left. "Mrs. Lyman is out of the lab."
Sensing this was a moment for family, Russell stood up. "We're going to go down to the waiting room. We'll be there if you need us." He smiled at Josh and led the other three out of the room. Josh held on tightly to Donna, asking her without words to stay.
Once they were all gone, Dr. Bomboy sat in a chair across from Josh and Donna and spoke quietly. "Mr. and Mrs. Lyman, the tests show no brain activity."
Josh took a deep breath and tried to keep from crying, unsuccessfully. He held Donna's hand and after a quiet moment, asked, "Could that be temporary?"
"No."
"Is there any chance the tests are wrong?"
"No." Donna started crying again, and Josh pulled her to his chest and kissed the top of her head.
"Surgery couldn't help?"
The doctor shook her head.
He stayed quiet for a minute. He had no idea how hard this would be. Sitting here, preparing for it for the last hour had done nothing to make it any easier. "And her living will…"
"States that machines aren't to be kept on for longer than fourteen days. It doesn't state that they must be kept on for fourteen days."
"And you think there's no chance."
She shook her head. "I'm sorry, I'm don't."
He ran his hand through his hair. "I need a second opinion before…" he couldn't finish the sentence.
She smiled and nodded at him. "For our own protection, the hospital requires one. Dr. Clark will be in within an hour. He's an excellent doctor."
"And then, once he… if he agrees with you. Then we just…"
"That decision will be yours Mr. Lyman. The hospital can't legally turn off the machines without your permission, at least until the fourteen-day mark. Even then, as her power of attorney, you could fight it." He shook his head. He had no intentions of going against her wishes. "When Dr. Clark gets in, I'll review her charts with him and then he'll be in to examine your mother. We can go from there."
"Ok," he said, nodding. "Where is she now?"
"She's in her room."
"Can I see her?"
"Of course," she said and stood to leave. "Mr. Lyman… I'm sorry."
Once Dr. Bomboy left, Josh turned to Donna. "I should go tell them, I guess." He stood up and pulled her up to stand next to him.
She wiped her face and smiled at him. "I'll tell them. You go spend some time with your mom."
He kissed her forehead and shook his head. "No, you shouldn't have to tell them that. I'll do it."
"Are you ok?" she asked him, cupping his cheek with her palm.
He thought for a minute and then nodded slighly. "Yeah, I am."
"You're doing really good," she whispered.
"I'm scared," he said, leaning forward and resting his forehead against hers.
"I know."
They stayed like that for a minute, and finally he pulled away. "I'm going to go talk to them."
"I'll come with you," she said, running her hands through her hair at an attempt to look somewhat decent.
"Would you…" he stopped and looked at the ground.
She took his chin in her hand and pulled his face up to eye level. "What?"
"Would you go sit with my mom? I don't… I don't want her to be alone," he whispered.
She smiled at him. "Of course I will."
He smiled back and kissed her softly on the lips, lingering for just a second before pulling back. "I love you," he said and they left the small room together.
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When she walked in, she was somewhat surprised. She wasn't sure if she had expected Elizabeth to look different, but she looked exactly the same as she had that morning. That morning, when there were signs of improvement, when they had joked around about Margaret's blind date, when Josh had told her he loved her, when Elizabeth's heart rate was a little weak and they were going to watch it. Why had that sentence seemed like no big deal at the time? Why had they been so concerned with the stroke that it hadn't occurred to them that a 72 year-old woman might have a heart attack? Why had seeing them shock her body and watching it jerk off the bed like that affected her so deeply?
She walked very quietly through the room and pulled a chair up to Elizabeth's bed. For the first time since she had arrived in Florida, she took the woman's hand in hers and stroked it softly with her other hand. Once again, tears started streaming down her face and she found herself speaking. "I'm in love with your son," she said very quietly. "I know you know that, but I thought you deserved to hear it." She looked around the room. "See, the thing is, we're going to have children some day, Josh and I, and you're not going to be there to spoil them. You're not going to be there to tell them that you knew we were going to get married years before we knew, and that doesn't seem fair."
She was quiet for a few minutes before she spoke again. "I've never thanked you… for him. He's amazing. A complete and total pain in the neck, but amazing, and I'm going to love him forever. I just wanted you to know that."
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Josh walked in to the waiting room, where Russell, Betty, Marjorie, and Gary sat in a corner, talking. They grew quiet and stood up when they saw Josh come in the room. He nodded to strangers he'd seen over the last several days in the ICU unit and made his way to the four people waiting on news from his mother.
Russell instinctively reached for his wife's hand and she held on tightly as Josh looked at them and tried to find words that might make the news easier to hear as well as say, but finally settled on the direct approach. "The tests showed no brain activity, and Dr. Bomboy says that won't change. They're bringing in another doctor for a second opinion, and if he says the same thing, I'm going to agree to turn off life support." When he finished speaking, he took a deep breath while everyone looked at him for a moment. That was what they had been expecting, but expecting it didn't make it any easier to hear.
A few minutes later, the five of them went to Elizabeth's room, where they found Donna sitting quietly holding Elizabeth's hand. When they came in, Donna stood and went to where Josh was standing against the wall. He pulled her in front of him and held her around the waist from behind, resting his chin on her shoulder as her friends said their goodbyes.
"You know, Josh. Last month your mother drove into the flower garden at the entrance of the complex," said Gary, smiling.
"Really?" He said chuckling. "She didn't tell me that."
"She tried to blame it on ice."
"In Florida?" asked Josh.
"Exactly. Then she said a deer ran out in front of her car and she had to swerve to miss it," Gary said.
"Finally," said Russell, "She admitted to trying to find a Met's game on the radio and not paying attention to where she was going."
"Well," said Josh, laughing, "Met's games are very important." Then he quietly added. "My dad loved the Mets."
"She must have too. She had Russell, Bob Phillips, and me pushing her out of the flower bed at 9:45 that night so the whole neighborhood didn't know what she'd done," said Gary, smiling at the memory. "We made so much noise that by the time her car was out, half the complex was standing around watching us." Donna smiled, leaned her head back on Josh's shoulder and put her hands on top of his on her stomach as the four older people continued telling stories about Josh's mom.
About twenty minutes later, Russell announced that the four of them were going to go back to the waiting room. On his way out the door, he stopped and patted Josh on the shoulder. "You're doing a fine job, son. Your parents would be proud."
"Thank you Sir," he said quietly and watched the man leave the room.
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A few minutes later, Donna left to give Josh some time alone with his mother. He sat quietly and watched her chest rise and fall with the machines hooked up to her. Eventually, he leaned his head forward and lay it on his hands, which were holding one of hers. "Mom…" he said quietly, and tears started to fall. "What am I going to do without you here? I know I haven't spent as much time with you as I should, but I need you, you're my mom."
He sat up and looked at her face. "I kissed Donna today and told her I love her. You're supposed to say that it's about time, and that you've known since the day you met her on the campaign trail. And then I'm supposed to admit that I knew it then too, I was just a chicken. And then you're immediately supposed to start bugging me about marrying her so you could change that picture in your entertainment center and finally get those grandchildren you've been waiting for."
He was quiet for a few minutes before he spoke again. "I'm scared Mom. What if I'm not doing the right thing? What if you just need a little more time? Is that it? Do you just need more time?" He looked at her for a minute, silently begging her to answer him.
"I heard Donna talking to you last night. You know, Dad did look at you like that all the time. He loved you so much. I used to think that no one else could ever have the kind of love the two of you had, but I want that, Mom. I want it with Donna. I know it's going to take a lot of hard work, but we're gonna get there."
"Russell said you've lived a full life. You have, right? I know you never got those grandchildren, but you had a husband who adored you and two children and a home and a career that you loved. I know it wasn't always easy, but you lived a full life, right? See, I was thinking that it wasn't fair and then it occurred to me that maybe you're just done. You're done living without your husband and your little girl and for you, it's time to go to them. Are you with them now? Is that how it works? Cause I still want you to come back here, but that's really selfish, isn't it? You've lived without him for six years, who am I to want you to live without him for even longer? Except that I'm your son and you're my mom and I want you here with me because I do."
"I miss them Mom, and I miss you too. If that is how it works, if you are with them or if you're going to be, will you tell them that? Tell them I love them and I miss them. And tell them about Donna. Dad met her, but he was pretty sick, he might not remember her too much. And Joanie never met her. Tell them about her. Tell them how she has me pegged and how she thinks I'm wonderful even though you and I both know that she's the wonderful one. Tell them that I'm going to be happy and I'm going to be ok, because I have her and she's going to take care of me and I'm going to take care of her."
"I'm going to marry her someday mom. I know you know that, but I wanted you to hear it. I'm going to marry her, if Leo doesn't kill me for dating her, and we're going to have children, your grandchildren. I hope we have a girl, and I hope she has Donna's hair and eyes and my curls and your laugh and Joanie's love of music. And she's gonna own me, Mom. She's gonna have me wrapped around her little finger. A miniature Donna, I don't stand a chance. I wish you could see her Mom, she's gonna be so beautiful. And if we have a boy, he's gonna be… what did you call me when I was a kid? Rambunctious? He's going to be rambunctious, and bright, and I'm going to do my best to be the kind of father Dad was; I promise."
"Mr. Lyman," Dr. Bomboy said quietly.
He wiped his eyes with his hands and turned around. Dr. Bomboy was standing with a man in his 60's, who reminded Josh of Leo a little bit. He kissed his mother's hand, then stood up and went to where they were standing. "Josh Lyman," he said, reaching out and shaking the man's hand.
"Mr. Lyman, I'm Edward Clark, a neurologist on staff here."
"Thank you for coming."
Dr. Bomboy looked at Josh. "I've been reviewing your mother's chart with him, Mr. Lyman."
He looked at the man. "And you agree with her assessment?"
"Yes I do. You're mother's brain is no longer functioning, and unfortunately, that's permanent. I'm terribly sorry for your loss. I know she was starting to show signs of improvement; I'm sure you were beginning to hope for the best."
Josh nodded at the man and then looked at Dr. Bomboy. "So you're recommendation…"
"I recommend terminating life-support. However, Mr. Lyman, let me stress this. This is your decision."
He looked at Dr. Clark. "You agree?"
He nodded. "Yes I do."
"I need to sign something?"
"Yes," said Dr. Bomboy, handing him a clipboard. He skimmed the document and took a large shaky breath before signing the bottom and handing it back to her. She smiled weakly at him. "I'll be right back, and we'll disconnect the machines."
"Can I stay?"
She nodded. "Yes, you may. Would you like me to find your wife?"
"I'm sure she'll be here in a minute," he replied distantly.
Both doctors regarded him for a moment and then left the room. Donna stood in the hallway and tried to smile as they passed. Then, she quietly pushed the door open and took one step inside the room. Josh turned his head from his mother and looked at her. "Would you rather be alone?" she asked.
He shook his head and reached his arm towards her. She came to him and wrapped her arms around his waist. "They'll be back in a minute to disconnect the machines." She just nodded and kissed his cheek.
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In the end, it was quick and without preamble. It took less than two minutes for her to flat line and Dr. Bomboy to quietly call the time of death. Josh stood next to Elizabeth's bed the entire time, calmly watching her slip away. He didn't sob or shake, he didn't even cry. Instead, he held Donna's hand, lightly rubbing his thumb over her knuckles. He had lost his mother, and he was heart-broken. Still, as hard as it was, he stood there knowing that he hadn't lost his family; she was standing next to him, holding his hand.
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Like I said, that's the end of the original ending. The next chapter follows chapter 10, so you might want ot review that before reading it. --- Jen
