A/N: Welcome back for chapter 14! And guess what everyone?!
IT'S A BRAND NEW YEAR!.... just like the last one.
A/N: Also, I just learned something! I have been spelling Ganondorf with 2 n's for the longest time. Oops. Forgive me!
Lord of the Rings: (SSBM Style!)
Too Many Towers to be Two
Chapter XIV- L33T Masta VS Giant Talking Turtle
---Fangorn Forest---
Falco awoke to the sun shining brightly into his eyes. "Mmmmmmmmmh, five more minutes." He muttered, rolling out of the way of the light. But once he moved out of his spot, he just couldn't get back to sleep. So he sat up, yawned and looked around the area.
"Good morning Merry!" Luigi greeted, drinking some water.
"Hey Pee." Falco said, standing and walking over towards Luigi. "Can I ha- Eep." His sentences was cut short by Luigi placing Fox's blaster right between Falco's eyes.
"My name is... Pippin..." Luigi said with a glare. "Get it right, or I'll blown your brains out."
"Uh... Okay, Pippin!" Said Falco, backing away slowly. Luigi cheered and threw the blast to some random part of the woods, then went back to drinking. "What are you drinking? And where is Treebeard?"
"Dunno. To both questions." The hobbit replied. "But I had a nice dream last night. We had some pipeweed and you got sick off it. Aaah, I miss those days."
Falco lifted and eyebrow. "That's a good dream?"
Before Luigi could answer, the trees let out a light moan. The two hobbits jumped and looked around. "Did you here that?" Asked Luigi.
"The trees are talking to each other!" There came another moan, but this time, Falco heard where it was coming from. "Wait! Pe- Pippin! You said something...treeish!"
"Really?" Luigi asked.
Falco's eyes went wide. "And your taller! Taller then ME!"
"I've always been taller then you."
"OMFG LIEZZZZZZZZZZZ!"
Luigi sighed and patted Falco on the shoulder. "Listen. Your like, what? Three foot six? At the most. I'm three foot seven!" He stretched a little and grew up. Luigi laughed. "Three foot eight!"
The Birdy then noticed what Luigi had been drinking. "Are you drinking... steroids?!" He snatched the pot away from Luigi and began to drink.
"Hey! Wait! That's mine!" Luigi said, trying to get the pot of water back. But Falco laughed and ran away, causing Luigi to give chase the two of them kept running around and around Treebeard's house until a random tree got bored of watching them and used its roots to grab the two hobbits. "AAH! MY LEG! IT'S STUCK!"
"Mine too!"
The hobbits were then buried under leafs and dirt and were about to die when DK in his Treebeard costume marched in. "Gasp! You should not be waking! Eat earth! Dig deep! Drink water! Go to sleep!" The tree's roots let go of Falco and Luigi and the two dashed out and up to DK. "Away with you!" DK finished, picking up the hobbits and marching away. "Sorry about that. The forest isn't safe anymore."
"Those lines you said... You weren't suppose to say them." Said Falco.
"Hush. Oh these poor evil trees." DK let out a sigh. "There are just too few of us Ents..."
"But don't you guys live for thousands of years?" Asked Luigi. "You should have a little baby Ents running around, right?"
DK let out another sigh. "Bru-ra-hroom. There have been no little Entlings since...we lost the Entwives!"
"Oh... How did they die?" Asked Falco.
The monkey whipped a tear away from the tree's eye. "Die? Nooooo. We lost them and now... we can't find them..." Falco and Luigi stared at each other for a minute with a look saying 'WTF d00d?'. "You two wouldn't have seen any Entwives in the Shire, would you?"
"Um, can't say that I have." Luigi said. "What do they look like?"
DK paused for a second. "You know... I don't remember..."
---Plains of Rohan---
Bowser, Marth, Popo and Link ride up onto a hill that overlooks Edoras. "Edoras. Théoden Dude lives there." Bowser told his friends. "But Saruman had taken over his mind so, don't look for a welcome!"
---Golden Hall---
Samus is on her knees and holding the hand of the very very very very Old Mario. "Théoden Dude... Your son... He is dead..."
"..." Old Mario said nothing.
"Don't you care? Your only son and heir is dead!"
"..." Old Mario said nothing.
"Won't you go see him?!"
"..." Old Mario said nothing.
"....GET OFF YOUR ASS AND SEE YOUR DEAD SON!"
"...No..." Replied Old Mario.
---Theowhatshisname's room---
Samus laid at the side of the bed, crying over the dead of her cousin. "WAAAAAAAAAH! HE WAS SO YOUNG AND FULL OF LIFE! I'M LOST AND CONFUSED WITHOUT GANDALF!" She cried.
Ganondorf decided to pay her a little visit. He stuck his head in and saw the dead body. "0h, h3 d13d? D4mn, 7h47 1s teh suxorz. L3t h4v3 53x t0 m4k3 u f33l b3tt3r."
The bounty hunter stood up and slapped Ganondorf across the face. "Your words are poison." She said, running out of the room.
"Th3y r n07!" Yelled Gannondorf as he gave chase.
---Edoras---
Samus runs out of the Golden hall and takes off her helmet, feeling the nice breeze of the wind. "Ah, the lovely wind." She whispered, looking out across the large plains. Something caught her eye. She saw three horseys making there way into Edoras. "Oh, new comers." She said with a smile. Just when she said that, she sensed something about the group. "My sexy ranger senses are tingling!" Samus laughed, put her helmet back on and walked back into the Golden Hall.
As for Bowser and his group, they rode their horses up to the Golden Hall entrance and walked towards the door, only to be met with Sandbag. "Hey Sandbag!" Marth greeted with a smile.
"Hey guys!" Sandbag greeted. "I'm so happy that I got a part in this movie! Yes! Haha!" The Sandbag then went back to the reason he was there. "I need to talk your weapons." Marth handed over his sword and daggers, Link gave him his arrows and sword and Popo tossed them his mallet/ax. All weapons were handed in but Bowser's staff. "I'm gonna need that staff." Sandbag said.
Bowser looked shocked. "You would not part an old Koopa from his walking stick, would you?"
"Yes." Sandbag replied. "I would."
"Look...Either you let me bring this inside, or I'll use it like a bat."
"B-B-B-B-B-Bat?! BAT?! BAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAT!" Screamed the Sandbag as he fell to the ground and began to spas out.
---Golden Hall---
The four enter the Golden Hall and began walking pass the guards. Old Mario and Ganondorf sat in the throne and Nana was standing off towards the side, waiting for her part later in the story. The second Ganondorf saw Bowser, he began to whisper to the king. "K1n9 d00d! G4nd4lf da Gr3y 1s h3r3."
"Théoden Dude!" Bowser yelled, walking down the hall. "Your hall is no longer nice! They took my friends weapons!"
"H3 1s n07 w3lc0m3."
Old Mario let out a loud moan and said, "Why... should I welcome you... Gandalf Stormcrow?"
The Koopa spun around and looked. "Where is this Gandalf?!"
"A ju57 qu3st10n, k1n9 d00d." Said Ganondorf, walking towards Bowser. "L8 1s da h0ur 1n wh1ch dis d00d c0m3s!"
"Do you have any idea what he's saying?" Whispered Link to Popo, who got a shrug for and answer. "I mean, is it even possible for someone to speak like that?"
"Nope." Popo replied.
"1ll n3wz 1s an 1ll gu357!" Ganondorf finished, walking right up to Bowser's face.
"God, SHUT UP!" Yelled Bowser, scaring everyone in the hall. "I did not get burned up, drown, get frost bite, die and come back to life to listen to some horrible version of L33T! AH! DIE!" Bowser whacked Ganondorf in the forehead, knocking the man out cold.
Now, the guards never liked Ganondorf. Nor did they want him to live. But they figured that the king would be pissed if they didn't do anything, so Nana, Sandbag and all the other guards charged in and began fist fighting with Link, Popo and Marth. Marth was knocking people out, Link was punching lightly as to not break a nail and Popo was hitting them below the belt.
While all this was going on, Bowser calmly walked up to Old Mario saying, "Théoden, Son of Thengel! Too long have you sat in the shadows." He held up his hand. "I release you... from this spell..."
Old Mario let out a loud, evil laugh. "You have no power here, Gandalf the Grey!"
"Gandalf?!" Bowser yelled, throwing off his gray robe to reveal his shiny white robes. "I AM NOT GANDALF!" He thrusts his staff at Old Mario, causing the plumber to fall back into the chair.
"Ooooow!" Moaned Old Mario.
Samus, who at that very moment was walking by, saw her uncle being attacked by a giant turtle, which isn't very normal back then. "UNCLE!" She yelled, running towards Old Mario, but was stopped by Marth.
"Wait." He told her, holding her back.
"Ooooh, the sexy ranger."
Old Mario was now screaming in pain. "If I go," said Mewtwo's voice. "Théoden dies!"
Bowser thrust the staff again, which caused Old Mario's head to hit the chair. "You did not kill me, you will not kill him!"
The King glared up at Bowser and Mewtwo spoke again, "Rohan is miiiiiiiiiiine!" With that, Old Mario jumped at Bowser, ready to attack like some sort of animal.
"THE POWER OF CHRIST COMPELS YOU!" Bowser yelled, whacking his staff right into Old Mario's forehead.
---Isengard---
Mewtwo flys backwards and lands on the ground. "My...nosey!" He moaned, standing up.
---Golden Hall---
"Oooooooooooooh..." Moaned the Old Mario, falling out of his throne. Samus broke free of Marth's grasp and ran to his side. Like magic, Old Mario transformed into the Mario we know and love today! "Wow... What the hell happened?" He said, looking around.
"Uncle!" Samus smiled, hugging Mario.
Mario looked up at Samus. "I know that helmet..." Said Mario. "Èowyn, it must be you."
Bowser gave a smirk, knowing that he had done good. "Breathe the free air again, my friend."
The now Young Mario turned to Bowser and gasped. "Gandalf?"
"ARGH! LISTEN AND LISTEN UP GOOD!" Screamed Bowser, addressing everyone in the Golden Hall. "MY NAME IS GANDEARILO, NOT GANDALF!"
"Idiot..." Muttered Marth, who whacked Bowser over the head with his sword. "Your name is Gandalf, not Gandearilo."
"Gandearilo!"
WHACK!
"GANDALF!"
"GAN...DEARILO!
WHACK!
"GANDALF!"
"FINE!" Bowser pushed Marth away. "My name is Gandalf the White..."
"So, what happened to me?" Asked Mario.
Bowser gave a chuckle. "Your fingers will remember for you."
Sandbag hopped up with the King's sword in his mouth and presented it to Mario. Ever so slowly, Mario reached for it and pulled it out...only to drop it to the floor. The entire hall stared at him for a second. "...It was heavy..."
"OH NOEZZZZZZZ!" Yelled Ganondorf, who had just woken up after hearing Bowser's screaming. "I g07z 2 g37 0u7 0f h3r3!" He stood up and was about to run away when Popo jumped on top of him.
"Where do you think your going?" Laughed the dwarf. Once hearing Ganondorf, Mario turned and glared at the Gerudo and reached for his sword.
---Outside---
Nana and Sandbag throw Ganondorf down the stairs of the Golden Hall. He rolled down each other, letting out cries of numbers and letters until he reached the last step. "0w!" He yelled, rolling on his back. Ganondorf then saw that Mario was walking down the stairs with his sword, ready to kill the poor man. "d00d, WTF?!" Ganondorf said, crawling away. "u n07h1n9 bu7 a b4d d00d! Fukk u s00000 h4rd!"
"Your L33Tery would have had me crawling on all fours like a beast!" Yelled Mario, raising his sword.
"Sp4r3 m3!"
"NO!" Mario lifted the sword and was about to chop him into little pieces when Marth grabbed the King's hand.
"No my lord! He's killed too many people already." Marth said. "Let him go."
"Are you crazy?!" Mario exclaimed, staring at Marth.
"Yes... Yes I am." Marth bent down and offered Ganondorf a hand, but the Gerudo spat on his fist, hopped on a horsey and rode off.
Mario cleared his throat and turned around. "That was fun, but anyway, where is Theowhatshisname? Where is my son?"
---Graveyard---
Bowser and Mario were standing outside, around the tombs of the kings of Rohan. Mario was holding up a pretty white flower. "A Simbelmynë..." The King whispered. "It's so pretty, right? But it only grows on the tombs of my fore bearers." He turned towards Bowser. "This sucks. My son is dead, I was under Saruman's control, I banished my own nephew, and my house is finished!"
"Geez, that does su- Um, I mean, do not despair." Said Bowser. "This will get better... one day... I guess..."
Mario shook his head. "No parent should have to bury their child." He then fell to the ground and began to cry like a little kid.
Bowser was about to head back towards Edoras when he turned and saw the kids from Chapter 11 riding up on their horse. "What's that?" He said, peering out into the twilight. As he did, Éothain fell off the horse and landed with a thud. "GASP! ADORABLE CHILDREN IN PAIN!"
To Be Continued...
A/N: That chapter was, uh, fun... I guess. Did you enjoy yourselves? R&R I guess. Oh! Flames will be used to light the beacons!
