A/N: Well, it seems I didn't die. Yey. We're heading onto Chapter 16 now! Even bigger yey! More walking. Nooo. And there is a fight in this chapter. Even bigger noooo. There is only one thing that can make me happy now... -Puts Ness, Falco, Luigi and Dr. Mario with 99 lives- Yey! Dance my little Shirelings, DANCE!
Lord of the Rings: (SSBM Style)
Too Many Towers to be Two
Chapter XVI- Popo's Series of Unfortunate Events
---Uh...I don't know, some place---
The people from Edoras are walking across the plains, bored to tears. Popo was riding on a horse that was 10 times too big for him and he was busy yapping on about Dwarves to Samus. "It's true, you don't see many dwarf women." Popo told Samus, who nodded in agreement. "It's funny, really. I even have a sister. We're so alike in voice and appearance that she's often mistaken for a Dwarf man."
Samus scratched her helmet and turned towards Marth. The prince whispered, "It's the beard."
"Oh." She turned back towards Popo. "Are you a woman?"
"...No... But when the guys and me go out looking for woman, we sometimes wind up hitting on Dwarf men! And now people think Dwarves just pop out of holes, like hobbits!"
Samus chuckled at the statement, but it must have scared the horse, since the pony ran off with Popo still on top. "Uh-oh."
"WAAAAAAAAAAAAAH! MAKE IT STOP!!!" Popo yelled before he fell off the horse and began to roll around on the ground. Samus ran over to the Ice Climber and began to help him up. "Nobody panic! It was deliberate, it was deliberate!"
Marth watched as Samus helped Popo up, turn and smile at him. Well, he couldn't really see her smile, but he knew she was. He could sense it. And apparently, so can Mario. "She's smiling." He said, riding up to Marth on his horse.
"Yeah..." Marth replied. "And at me."
"She doesn't smile much anymore for some reason...I forgot why." ---Later on, at a Camping spot--- Samus was running through the camp, holding a pot of soup, offering to random suckers- I mean, villagers. "Gimli, want some soup?" She asked, offering the soup to Popo.
"No, I couldn't! It's bad for my heart." The dwarf replied before he walked off to go eat real food.
Samus looked around for anyone would want to try her soup. Her eyes fell upon, you guessed it, Marth. "Hey Sexy Ranger." Samus greeted, sitting down next to Marth. "Want some soup?"
"Sure." Marth answered, reaching for a bowl.
"I made it myself."
Marth froze with the spoon in his hand and was about to start eating. "Erm, it's good." He said with a smile.
"Really?! That's great!" Samus cheered. "Would you like me to get you some soap as well?" Marth glared at Samus, but she didn't notice. "Question time!"
"Oh joy."
"My Uncle said that you and my Grandfather marched into war together." She said. "But that's impossible, right?"
Marth put the bowl down and said, "Nothing is impossible."
"Then you've got to be at least sixty!"
"Nope."
"Seventy?!"
"Incorrect."
Samus let out a little laugh. "Then you must be eighty!"
"Eighty-seven." Samus let out a loud gasp and fell over on her back, in shock that she had fallen for a guy that was older then her grandmother.
That night, Marth was sitting under a tree and smoking some pipeweed, ya know, just chillin'.
---Flashback---
Marth opened his eyes and looked around. He was in Rivendell and standing right next to him was Zelda. "Hey Arwen."
"Heya!" Replied Zelda.
"Ah, this must be a dream-"
"Shut up and kiss me."
So they make out...
---End Flashback, and its morning now---
"Who is she?"
Marth turned towards Samus, who had once again walked up here him. "Who?"
"The woman who gave you that jewel." She said, pointing to the Evenstar.
"Oh... this little thingy..."
---Flashback---
It's Rivendell again. Fox and Marth are together now, having a father-son talk. "Our time here is ending." Fox said, with a sigh. "Arwen's™ time is ending."
"Yeah, I know!" Replied Marth. Fox walked right up into his face and began to speak again.
"Let her take the ship into the West and fly away with us to the Undying Lands™ to be with us in ever green happiness."
Marth laughed. "If you want ever green happiness, just go to the Shire."
"I WILL NOT LEAVE MY DAUGHTER HERE TO DIE!"
"She stays because she has hope!"
"OMFG LIEZZZZZZZZ!" Yelled Fox. "She stays for you, she belongs with her people!" Marth sighed and walked away, knowing that he could never win a fight against Fox.
The next morning, Marth was getting ready to leave on the Fellowship's journey, when Zelda came over to him. "Is this how you were gonna leave me?! First light at dawn without saying goodbye?!"
Marth sighed. "Listen, your daddy is going all crazy on me and stuff. So be a good girl and sail away with, alright?" Zelda looked at Marth with a surprised face. "It was a dream, Arwen."
"-Cough-™-Cough-"
The two looked around for the cougher, but he was no where to be sense. "...And nothing more." Marth handed Zelda the Evenstar, but being the nice girl she is, closed his hand around it.
"It was a gift. Keep it. Sell it on Ebay or something."
---End Flashback---
"My lord?"
Marth looked around in a daze. "A-wha? Oh. Yeah, she's sailing away to the undying lands with all that is left of her kin."
"Ooooh, I see." Samus smirked. "And elf..."
Two horses gallop by, their riders being Nana and Sandbag. They rode up bast the front of the group and past Link, who was standing on a rock, staring out into space. "I sense evil." Link said, looking around.
Nana and Sandbag stopped there horses and looked around. "Hmmm, Elf boy must have been wrong." Said the Sandbag. "I don't see anything."
"Hmm, you're right..." Nana agreed.
"I bet you ten bucks that one of us dies."
"You're on!"
The two turned towards a large rock, where a giant hyena jumped off and tackled Sandbag. The Orc riding it laughed and the Warg bit into the Sandbag. "AAAAAAAH! I KNEW IT!!!!!!" Nana snapped her fingers and walked the beast rip the poor bag to pieces and listening to his last words: "YOU OWN ME 10 BUCKS!"
Link gasped and killed the Warg and it's rider with two arrows. He ran over and looked at the Orc. "A scout!"
"OH NOEZ!" Nana screamed. "WE'RE UNDER ATTACK BY GIANT HYENA'S!"
Marth, who heard the Ice Climber's high pitched voice, gasped in shock. "Giant Hyena's?!"
"SHIT!" Yelled the People of Rohan.
Mario lifted his sword and said, "Riders! Ride!"
The Guards were scrambling around, trying to get onto any pony they could. Marth saw one and stole it away from the old lady who owned it. Popo was also trying to get onto a horse he stole, but failing. "Aaaaaah! Help me up!" He whined, too short to get on the horse's back.
Samus was also about to get onto a horse when Mario rode up to her. "What are you doing?"
"I can fight!"
"NO! Lead the people to Helm's Deep. Pleeeeeeeeeease?" Mario tried his hand at puppy dog eyes, but it only cracked Samus's visor.
She sighed and yelled, "Alright! Everyone! Follow me!"
"I think my horse is broken..." Popo said, trying to make his horse move, but only having it trot backwards. After a few seconds, the horse learned that he was going the wrong way and headed off with the other horseys into war!
Meanwhile, Link was busy shooting the Wargs as they came over the hill with his bow. "One! Two!" He counted, killing Warg after Warg. When he heard the rumbling of the horses, he turned around and jumped onto Popo's horse, stealing the reins away. "What have I told you about driving the horse?!"
"But how am I going to learn if I never drive!" Popo said, crossing his arms in anger.
So the Humans on their Horseys and the Orcs on their Giant Hyena's smashed into each other....ouch.... Orcs were swinging their swords around, killing anything they could see, as were the Humans. Link galloped around, shooting Random things with his bow. But the horse hit a bump in the ground, knocking Popo off the back.
"Waaaaaaaaaaaaaaaahya!" Popo yelled, rolling around on the floor. He stood up and looked around at the chaos. A Warg, who was eating a Horse, saw the little Ice Climber and began to drool. "...ARRR, YES! BRING YOUR PRETTY FACE TO MY MALLET!" The Warg chanced at Popo and was about to pounce on the dwarf, when Link rode by and shot it with a arrow. "Aaah!" Popo reached into his back pocket, pulled out a sticker with his face on it, and slapped it on the Warg. "That one counts as mine!"
"You're welcome!"
Popo rolled his eyes and turned around to attack another Warg. He killed it, but the giant Hyena fell on top of him, "Ooof!"
Mario road around on his pony, stabbing an Orc in the chest. He withdrew it and stabbed another one and laughed. "This is fun!" He said in a Peach-type voice.
Marth was doing much of the same, cutting off Orc's head and killing any Wargs that came near him. "Stupid Hyena's..." He muttered, stabbing one in the back with his sword.
The Ice Climber began to push the Warg off his body, when an Orc showed up and lifted his sword, about to stable him. "AIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIEEEEEEEEEEE...except after C!" Popo grabbed the Orc's neck and twisted it, killing him and causing his dead body to fall ontop of the Hyena. "...Great..."
Link, Mario and Marth seemed to be the only ones killing and not getting hurt. The Riders of Rohan we're being knocked off their horseys by the Wargs, and the Orc's were too stupid to understand the fact that swords are pointy.
Popo, now with two bodies ontop of him, continued to push. He tried and tried...but something stepped on the Orc, pushing them back to the ground. "Ouch! Well I oughta..." Popo was about to snap the neck of the Orc that had stepped ontop of the mound of bodies...if it had been an Orc. The Warg glared into the little midgets eyes and was about to eat his face off.
Marth saw his little midget in trouble, so he picked up a spear that had fallen to the ground and threw it at the Warg, killing it, and also making it fall ontop of Popo. "You're welcome!" He turned around and was tackled off the horse by a random Giant Hyena, that thought he looked tasty. Marth stood up and looked around. A Warg was running at him, so he rolled to the left and grabbed onto the Orc rider's leg. He took out his dagger and stabbed the poor guy in the chest and was about to let go, but his arm was stuck! "OH NOEZ!" He yelled, as the Warg stupidly ran right off a cliff...wow...what a way to go.
King Mario watched as his Riders chased off the Hyena's and the Riders. "WE WON! YES!"
Link jumped off his horse and looked around. "Aragorn?"
"ARAGORN!?" Yelled Popo, who somehow got out from under that pile of icky stuff.
The three of them slowly made their way towards the edge of the cliff where an Orc was lying, laughing. "Hehehe."
Popo put his mallet/ax to his neck. "Tell me what happened, and I'll ease your passing."
"He's...DEAD! HAHAHA!" Laughed the Orc.
Popo growled. "Well, while I might not agree with what you say, I shall fight to the death to defend your right to say it." He said, before the Orc died. Link walked over to the Orc and opened his hand and gasped. He was holding the Evenstar.
Mario shrugged. "Well, whatever. Get the wounded on horses and leave the dead." He patted Link on the shoulder. "Come." He whispered, heading over towards the rest of the humans.
"Hmph, Why? I only came along with them cause Marth was here. I MUST FIND MARTH!" Link complained.
"What? Cause you never got your kissy?" Popo asked. Link glared at Popo, then pushed him off the cliff. "WAAAAAAAAAAH!"
Link headed towards Mario. "I didn't do!"
---Uh, 'Near' Helm's Deep---
"YEY!" Cheered the People of Rohan
---Inside Helm's Deep---
The People of Rohan entered and all ran off in various directions, finding their loved ones. Two of which were Éothain and Freda. "MOTHER!" They cheered, hugging Mother from Chapter 11.
Samus was looking around at all the boxes they had saved from the attack. "That's it?!"
"'Tis all we could save, Madam Boss Woman." Replied an Old Man.
"MAKE WAY!" Came a random voice. Samus knew that the random voice could only mean one thing, so away she ran to the gates of Helm's Deep. "MAKE WAY FOR THÈODEN DUDE!"
The horses rode up to where Samus and other humans were waiting. Mario hopped off his horse and began to pet it. "So few. So few of you have returned." Samus said, looking for Marth.
"Uh... Well, maybe if SOMEONE had stayed and fought and not run to Helm's Deep, then we MIGHT have done better." Mario said, looking at Samus in an 'It's your fault' way.
Samus punched Mario and knocked him out cold, just as a badly beaten Popo walked up to Samus and poked her. "Hey..." He said, coughing up some blood. "I think I'm-"
"WHERE IS ARAGORN!?" Samus yelled, picking up Popo by his collar.
"He fell... literally!"
Samus threw Popo up into the air and screamed. "NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!" All day long, until at last, Popo came crashing down from the sky and smashing her into the ground.
To Be Continued...
A/N: Luigi. Luigi won with 15 lives left. And now, it's time to throw our:
'HAPPY 16th/15th CHAPTER PARTY!'
Mario: Since-a this is really chapter 15 of this-a story, Link has put together a little-a play for all you readers, Zelda and Young-a Link! Link?
Link: Ahem. -Great Bay's theme begins to play and he starts singing- Link! He come to town!
Ness: -Walks up wearing Young Link's clothes and lifts sword-
Link: Come to save, the Princess Zelda!
Peach: -Spins around wearing Zelda's clothes- Sah-weet!
Link: Ganon took her away,
Captain Falcon: -Wearing Ganondorf's clothes, grabs Peach by the hair and runs away dragging her on the ground-
Link: And now the children don't play,
Ice Climbers: -Crying-
Link: But they will when Link save the day, HALLELUJJA! Now Link, fill up your hearts!
Ness: Okay!
Link: So you can shoot, your sword with power!
Ness: -Fires a beam of light out of the tip of Y. Link's sword-
Young Link: Since when could I do that?
Link: First Game. And when you're feeling all down,
Ness: -Falls to the ground-
Link: The Fairy will come around,
Luigi: -Floats up in a bubble- I'm-a the Green Fairy!
Link: So you be brave! And not a sissy coward. -Musical interlude- Quick! Dancing girls, Dance!
Samus, Jigglypuff and Bowser: -Wearing bikini's and doing the monkey-
Link: Now Link, has saved the day!
Ness: I did?
Link: For Ganon is in his grave!
Captain Falcon: Nuts. -Dies-
Link: Now Zelda is free,
Peach: Oooh, did I win?
Link: And now our Hero shall be,
Peach: -Kisses Ness on the cheek-
Link: Link, I think your name should go down into history! -Music Stops- That's to show you how much I love you Zelda!
Zelda: Awwww.... How cute...
Cast: -Turn and look to Young Link-
Young Link: ...Generally I like it.
Cast: YEY!
Luigi: -Floats by in the background- HEY-A! LOOK-A! LISTEN-A! HEY-A! LOOK-A! LISTEN-A! HEY-A! LOOK-A! LISTEN-A! HEY-A! LOOK-A! LISTEN-A! HEY-A! LOOK-A! LISTEN-A! HEY-A! LOOK-A! LISTEN-A!
