Centauri Cruxis Angel: Ok, this whole fanfic is based on the thoughts and happenings with each character in InuYasha. Of course it is a parody/humor, because I really don't see the episode; 'The Log that Sesshomaru Loved'. Thus all the guys in this are relatively horny to every living thing. But this was inspired by the famous Lord of the Rings character diaries, which I adore!

Disclaimer: I do NOT own InuYasha! And all its contents, including Sesshomaru's underwear. If he does wear some that is…………

Remember people, I am at the moment writing the rest of the character diaries and reviews would be most appreciated! Please?

Sesshomaru: NOOO! Not the paperwork again! has paper cuts all over fingers

CCA: Get in there! locks 'demon-proof (it's the same as child proof, except with a few things that spray lemon juice in the eyes) door, with Sessy inside

Sessy: Let me ou… AGGHHHHH IT BURNS! sprayed by lemon juice

CCA: Great, now that that's sorted, you can review and give me some idea's for what you want ya fave character to write about and if I should do second parts later for you faves! Just remember I don't know if you don't review! But then again I could always set my best friends fuzzy bee minions on you. NOTE: 1 fuzzy bee minion 2 wasp minion!

Lets fuzzy bee minions out they then go in a 'bee'-line at Kikyo and Jaken

Jaken and Kikyo: AGGHHHHH IT BURNS! bees are 'fluffing them to death'

………Now to the fanfic! Tally-ho!

THE HIDDEN-IN-PANTS DIARY OF INUYASHA

Entry 1

Shard Update: Found one in 2 minute noodles. Mmm, Shard-flavoured Ramen……Cruncy…

Moon Update: Howlable.

Fear that groupies/friends/who the hell are you, are lame. It consists of a short thing called Shippo who smells like cabbage, a monk (so definitely bi…) called Miroku, and a girl called Sango who's been eating deer velvet to make her really strong hope she doesn't get side effect. Also deer-velvet girl's faithful sidekick, a possessed woodchuck…err I mean, cat-demon (had strong urge to chase up tree). The only reasonable one is Kanom… Ka-gnome, no Kagome! That's right. I always stand behind her when it's windy. Hope she doesn't notice.

They're all attracted to me for only one reason; I have a big sword.

Entry 2

Called Tetsuaiga Hee! But I dream of the day where I will have proper minions. MUHAHAHA!

I want one called Bob. He should dress in scarlet and refer to me as 'Milordish Lord-like Lordy Inu, the Sexy' and give me ramen and do my nails. He should be Swedish, I have a fond affection for those people with their big han-ds.

Entry 3

No shards collected DAMN!

Moon Update: Rather tacky, cartoonish…hey wait…

Ears looking tad tatty. Stole strange looking cream out of Miroku's bag to moisturise them. Noticed later that I smell like cabbage. Fear that Shippo maybe secretly making nests in my pants. Trickly little blighter, I can't even find him in all this material.

Stupid pants.

Stupid Shippo.

Entry 4

Shard Update: One Shard collected. Found out that it wasn't shard but Kagome's last breath mint.

Accused Shippo of making nests in my pants, and storing his cabbages and whatnot in there too. He got all sooky and ran to Kagome and tried to grab a feel of her. Tried to make Kagome forgive me by cutely hugging her leg like a little kid. Unfortunately she didn't find my more primal instinct of slyly humping her leg in my humbleness cute too. Sat me pretty hard, probably to see my muscular butt flinch and become the hardest substance known to demon-kind !

Entry 5

Today…Not so bored! Ran into prancy Sesshomaru and decided to kick his arse for eating my last dumpling 70 years ago. And he blames me for stealing his style of clothing and says that I look fat in red! It isn't red, it's scarlet! I hope he likes me more now that I'm tall and handsome and don't wet the bed.

Entry 6

In the end could not kick Sess's a-hole for sake of Kagome who was afraid that Tetsuagia's attacks would make her skirt blow up. Damn! Realised later that Miroku is wearing a dress.

Handso…I mean stupid brother.

Stupid Miroku.

Clever Kagome…verrryyy clever.

Entry 7

Sesshomaru has cooler minions than me. V. bitter, since I have no minions. He always was Daddy's favourite… But green toad thing definitely gay. Definitely standing behind Sesshomaru entire time. Definitely looking at his butt. Note: Kill bootlickers of brother except cute little girl. Too cute to maim!

As Sesshomaru was leaving threw some acorns I found filled with laxatives in his bag.

That should slow him down.

Sess+ laxative acorns+ good throw Sess

Entry 8

Miroku says it's a robe.

Also experiencing jabbing pains to legs as if someone was…pulling my leg hairs out?

Entry 9

It's definitely a dress. Would it suit me? Purple dark blue/purple maybe my new colour. It would bring out the colour of my hair.

I wonder I Miroku thinks the same?

Entry 10

Shard Update: Six Shards! Go me! Uhhh…I mean…us.

Swear that Kikyo is stalking us. Probably angry about the dead rotting carcass remark that I made about her and that Kagome looks better in a short skirt than her. Or that we smell like cabbage and she's very hungry…

Bloody fan girls……

Entry 11

Ran into Naraku. Said about some crap about wanting killing us. I think he's a typical 'evil' wanker. Also could be a stalker or obsessed transvestite-fan girl of mine. It's all the same to me.

V. gay person, blue eye shadow. Shame. Puce soo his colour.

Entry 12

One shard collected: found in mutated pinecone which tried to relive Miroku of his manhood. Pine cone looked tasty.

Moon Update: Looks like pop-tart. V. hungry

Ran out of food, instead Miroku decided that we should try 'squirrel fishing' an ancient art passed down his deceased family line. Had no luck, a squirrel badly sprained my pinkie finger with a vicious acorn throw.

Shippo seemed awfully on edge with all these squirrels about, but could have had something to do with all those acorns he was stuffing in Kirara's mouth and in his pants.

Also Miroku constantly tripping and falling into me, thus making us writhe, tangle and roll over the ground didn't help either.

Entry 13

Hmm…

Entry 14

Hee!

Entry 15

My hair is sooo cool when I jump. I love to jump.

Entry 16

It looks cooler than Sesshomaru's, even if his is silkier and conditioned.

Entry 17

But maybe not as nice as Kanna's…need to think about it.

Entry 18

Maybe I should wear flowers in my hair?

Entry 19

Kagome and Sango would like, so think they are pretty!

Entry 20

Sesshomaru would be jealous because he only has embroidered flowers on his top. Score!

Entry 21

Put flowers in hair.

Entry 22

Kouga said I looked gay.

Entry 23

Took flowers out.

Entry 24

Bastard TT

Entry 25

Realised that he was jealous. Maybe Kouga is gay?

Entry 26

I wonder if he would like me if I was full demon? Does he find me sexy? Questions, questions…

Entry 27

Yes Kouga is gay; he wears a skirt…unless he likes breezes?

Entry 28

Shard update: I found one in my pants! They are like, so handy!

Moon Update: Good for dramatic standing positions after saving someone...

Decided to put rat poison down pants and glue to legs. I am hoping that it affects foxes too… that will sort Shippo out…No fox has the right to gnaw on my underwear and make nests in my pants +

Entry 29

Instead of Shippo eating the poison, Myoga ate it. Stupid insects and their strange addictions.

Entry 30

Myoga has now swollen to size of beach-ball.

Entry 31

Crap!

Entry 32

Now need to carry Myoga in backpack.

Crap!

Entry 33

Legs have swollen up to twice average size because of rat poison.

Entry 34

Double crap! Look like constipated tarantula legs. V. depressed. Legs very itchy. Cannot shave them. Afraid to look…

Entry 35

Pants hide it though.

Entry 36

Yay!

Entry 37

Swear that legs have grown heavier and look v. lumpy though fabric at the bottom of my pants. Also make strange ratting noises when I walk. I hoping that not an after-effect of my illness, since too afraid to look still. Gods hope it's not knock knees…

Entry 38

Shard Update: SHINY!

Moon Update: MOONY!

Last night had an odd dream. It was about me, Sesshomaru, Kagome and Koga with a family sized tub of banana yogurt. Never knew about variety of uses of dairy products…especially with tropical fruit too.

Entry 39

Have sneaking suspicion about v. ugly frog-demon retainer thing making nests in brother's pants. I pity him…Sesshomaru I mean. Having that warty thing slide up and down my long, smooth, silky, full-demon, masculi…ahem…legs

Entry 40

Frog thing is so hitting on my brother. V. angry, but I shouldn't worry, the possessive little girl would kill him if he tries anything.

So v. muchly hope he does now

Entry 41

Shard Update: Fell in mud. Muddy shards.

Moon Update: Uh oh……

Full moon. Turned into sexy human… not bad… but now feet hurt because I am so poor I have no shoes…wait! I'm not poor! I just don't need shoes!

I love good surprises.

Entry 42

Must make note to steal brother's credit card for irrelevant spending spree's at Kaede's Herbal Hair Products Store, and give it to Shippo so he can go to that 'Acorn-ium' that he's been pestering me about.

Entry 43

Still human. Sango is looking at me weird. Keeps on crossing and uncrossing eyes at me. Could be something to do with that 'Hypnotic Trances for Human Demon Hunters trying to Get in a Half-Demons Baggy Pants while Human; Volume I', book she was reading earlier. Still a mystery to me.

Who so knows what is in works in these saucy wenches' minds! V. 'eval' people, women…heh heh…

Entry 44

So human…Told Kagome that my large feet hurt now that I'm human. Kagome seemed really excited for some reason and planned meting with rest of human part of group. I think it was just an excuse for Miroku to grab a feel …

But it's not like I'm jealous or something……

Entry 45

Later that night found that Miroku had crawled up under the covers with me. Told him even though I have long black, silky hair, and a body to die for doesn't mean that I'm Sango. He didn't seem to mind and was v. persistent to see Tetsuagia, since he was muttering about how he wanted to see a large sword. Passed him it and he seemed disappointed. Weirdo. As if it wasn't big enough!

Entry 46

Not human! Kagome promised next time when I'm in human form she'll buy me a pair of sandals if I do her a favour, she just said to see my big sword would do. V. easy I'm getting good at transforming Tetsuagia!

Hope you liked it! At the moment I'm workin' on Kagome's diary, Sessy's diary, and almost completed Shippo's 'dairy' which clears up most of those questions about the 'pant nests' in Inu's pants, but also most of the latter characters too! R&R and tell me whose diaries you want posted and if you want second parts!

CCA