Disclaimer: I do not own Lord of the Rings.

A/N:...

Link standing in the center of the room, holding a lightsaber with Peach at his side looking like Princess Leia. Dead aliens and Wireframes were all across the floor.

Link: Oh, hello there. Why the author was off writing that crappy Survivor fic, we were attacked...

Peach: Link! Use the force!

Link: Alright-Uses the force to trigger a flashback-

(A few days ago)

Jigglypuff: Sir! Someone set us up the bomb!

Link-Shocked- What you say?

Jigglypuff: We get transmission!

Link: Main screen turn on.

Cats-Appears on the screen-

Link: It's you!

Cats: How are you gentlemen ! All your base are belong to us. You are on the way to destruction.

Link: What you say?

Cats: You have no chance of escape, make your time. Ha ha ha ha!

Link: Move Zig!

(Back to this time)

Link: Yeah, so... we had a big Star Wars fight and we won... see? Lots of stuff happens while you guys were away.

Lord of the Rings: (SSBM Style)
Too Many Towers to be Two
Chapter XIX- Thunder and Booms and Clanks, Oh my!

(Helm's Deep...Little dashes don't work anymore...)

Well its still night here. The Elves were lined up across the Deeping Wall and the Humans were all placed within the Hornburg. Popo was busying jumping up and down to try and see over the very large wall. "Argh, you could have picked a better spot..." Little Popo complained to Link, who just smirked knowing that he just scored a point.

Off in the distance, the thousands of Uruk-Hai's could be seen marching up. Marth took these last few moments of peace to have a little conversation with Link and Popo. "We're gonna die, right?" He asked.

"Hm, looks that way." Link said, peering out into the darkness.

"Whatever luck you live by, lets hope it lasts the night." Popo added with a smile.

Thunder! Boom!

The trio jumped for a second, then remembered that thunder was just mother natures way of cheering them on...or trying to scare them away, one of the above. "Your friends are with you Aragorn." Link said.

Popo gulped and added once more, "Lets hope we last the night..."

Thunder! Boom!

Rain began to fall from the sky. Mario looked upwards and growled. "Figures..."

(Glittering Caves)

"Aaaah!" Screamed the people. Except Samus. She was busy playing her guitar around seven lit candles and singing Kumbaya.

(Helm's Deep)

The Uruk-Hai continue to march towards Helm's Deep. One Uruk-Hai jumped onto a rock and let out a loud, 'Aroooooo'. Marth began to walk up and down the rows of Elves. "Show no mercy, cause you guys ain't gonna get any!"

"STOP MARCHING!" Yelled Uruk-Hai Troop #8,503. And so the Uruk-Hai's did.

Popo was still jumping up and down to try and get a look at what was going on. "Hm, shall I tell you what's going on out there, or would you like a box?" Link asked.

"Box, please."

"Okay." Link turned and dashed off with his elf-like speed to find himself a box for the midget.

"COMMENCE THE BEATING OF YOUR CHESTS!" Yelled #8,503. And so, the Uruk-Hai's began to beat their metal chests.

Clank! Clank! Clank!

Marth drew out his sword.

Clank! Clank! Clank!

The Humans readied their bows.

Clank! Clank! Clank!

Popo jumped to see.

Clank! Clank! Clank!

Link returned with a box.

Clank! Clank! Clank!

The people in the Glittering Caves were now dancing to the rhythm.

Clank! Clank! Clank!

"Hm..." Marth said, rubbing his chin.

Clank! Clank! Clank!

"How much longer are they gonna do this?" Asked Popo, who was now reading his ax/mallet.

Clank! Clank! Clank!

Link shrugged.

Clank! Clank! Clank!

Mario stood there with his leg planted firmly on a stone block.

Clank! Clank! Clank!

Marth tapped his finger impatiently.

Clank! Clank! Clank!

Popo and Link were now playing Yu-Gi-Oh!.

Clank! Clank! Clank!

"WILL SOMEONE FIRE THE DAMN ARROW ALREADY!" Marth screamed at the top of his lungs, scaring a Old Man who accidentally fired his arrow and it flew right into Uruk-Hai Troop #4,812.

"Oooooooooooooooouuuuuuuuuuh..." Moaned #4,812 before he fell to the ground dead. This of course, pissed of the Uruk-Hai's.

"WE WEREN'T DONE YET!"

"DARN YOU HUMANS!"

"CHAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAARGE!" Yelled #8,503. With that, all of the Uruk-Hai's let out a group roar and started to run at Helm's Deep.

"So it begins." Mario said calmly, while busy picking his nose.

"PREPARE TO FIRE!" Yelled Marth in Elvish, lifting his sword.

The Elves, Young Link and Link all drew back their strings and readied their arrows. "10 points if you hit them neck, 30 if you hit them under the arm." Link explained as the Uruk-Hai's charged closer.

"FIRE!"

The Elves all fired their arrows at the charging Uruk-Hai, killing most of the ones in the front line. "Did they hit anything?" Popo asked.

"Give them a volley." Mario told Nana over in the Hornburg.

Nana nodded and raised her hand. "FIRE!" She yelled.

"FIRE!" Yelled the One-Eyed dude that you only notice the second time you watch through the movie.

And so, the Humans let their arrows go, killing more the stupid Uruk-Hai's charging blindly into battle. "Keep firing!" Marth commanded and the Elves behind the Deeping Wall began to shoot, killing even more Uruk-Hai's.

This made Popo angry. "Send them too me, come on! This isn't fair! You!" He pointed a finger at Link. "These kills don't count!"

"BURN DIZ CITY TO ZE GROUND!" Yelled Uruk-Hai #12 in a cheap French accent and wearing a light purple coat. "Show them whatz happenz when they mezz with ze union!"

Well, The Uruk-Hai's were starting to realize that they were just hurting themselves by charging blindly to the stone wall. So some of them took out cross-bows and began firing back, killing some of the Elves on the wall.

"OW!" Yelled the Elves as they fell to the ground, dead.

Now that the arrows had slowed down, the Uruks started to raise up ladders. "LADDERS!" Marth yelled, warning the Elves.

"Good!" Popo cheered.

"Swords! Swords!" Marth commanded as the Elves and Young Link all took out their pretty elf swords. Good thing too, cause the ladders have landed and here come the Uruk-Hai's!

"Mawhahaha!" Laughed the evil Uruks as they jumped off the ladders swing their swords around. Popo, however, surprised one and whacked him in the chest before the poor guy could even get off the ladder.

"Heh! No Mawhaing for you mister." Popo laughed, then turned around to join the Elves in fighting.

Swords clashed, Arrows whizzed through the air and Elves screamed as the sword battle on the Deeping Wall continued. Young Link, being so tiny, was able to jump around stabbing any Uruk-Hai he wanted too. "Ha!" He laughed. "Now who's the one stepping on who!"

Marth swung his sword low and chopped off the leg of Uruk-Hai Troop #482, then stabbed the poor guy in his chest. Link had given up on his arrows and was now killing people with his sword/daggers, whatever you picture him with and little Popo was also making his midget size a valuable assent to the fight. He slid between Uruk-Hai Troop #9,820's legs, scaring the Uruk, then whacked him right in the chest. "HAHA! Lego!" Link turned around to face Popo. "I've got 2 already!"

Link smiled. "I'm on 17."

"What! 2, wait I mean 200!" Popo quickly turned around and attacked another Uruk-Hai.

Link shot another duo of Uruk-Hai's as they climbed up the ladder, then turned around and announced, "19!"

So pretty much, The Elves, Marth, Link and Popo and fighting the Uruk-Hai's, who just keep coming up the ladders...not looking too good...

(Fangorn Forest)

"I'm so bored..." Falco muttered, lying back on the ground.

"Yeah, me too." Luigi agreed, staring up into space."

Just then, the Ents stopped their moaning and DK turned around to face the two. "Ahem." The two hobbits looked up at DK. "We have just agreed..." His sentence trailed off as the poor ape began to fall asleep.

Falco and Luigi exchanged glances. "Uh, yes?" Falco asked.

"A-Wha? Oh...I have told your names to the Entmoot and we have just agreed..." DK paused for a second. "That you are not Orcs." The other Ents nodded in agreement.

"Well, that's good." Luigi said with a smile.

(Helm's Deep)

Popo stood on the edge of the wall between two ladders filled with Uruk-Hai's, swinging his ax/mallet back and forth between the two of them. "17!" He said as he hit one off. "18!" He yelled, hitting another Uruk-Hai off the other ladder. "19!" Whack! "20!" Whack! "21!" Whack! "22 and," Whack! "23!"

Meanwhile, over on the Hornburg, Uruk-Hai's with shields began to make their way up the Causeway. Marth noticed this and yelled to the remaining Elf archers, "The Causeway!" The Elves turned and began to shoot the Uruk-Hai's as they continued to make their way up the Causeway.

"Heh. Is this all you can muster, Saruman?" Mario said with a smirk, scaring the already scared Nana. "Cause if it is, let me laugh. HA! HAHA! HAHAHA!"

But down by the Deeping Wall, Ganondorf's plan known as, 'PWNZ DA N00BZ!111!1!one!shift!1!' was taking place. The Uruk-Hai's began to fill up the small water drain with bombs, then they all cleared a path for one little Uruk-Hai who was running hold a torch.

"Yes! Look at me!" Yelled Uruk-Hai Troop #6,023. "I've got the torch! Oh yeah! Olympics of the 3rd Age!"

Marth took notice of this. "Gasp! Lego! Bring him down!"

Link turned from his fighting and shoot the Uruk-Hai. Funny, as his arrows seem to be able to kill the Uruk-Hai's wearing the thick armor, but not this guy. Nooo, #6,023 takes two arrows in his chest and he was still running...

"I WILL NOT DIEEEE!" Yelled #6,023 as he jumped into the drain...with the bombs...

BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOM!

Well, there goes the Deeping Wall. Elves and Uruk-Hai's are sent flying and pieces of rubble come crashing down onto the Uruk-Hai forces. Mario turned and stared at now destroyed wall. "OMFG NOEZZZZZZZ!"

(Glittering Caves)

"Aaaah!" Screamed the people. Except Samus. She was busy holding a yoga class with her friends to try and find their 'center'.

(Helm's Deep)

The Uruk-Hai's took this chance to start charging into Helm's Deep. Mario stared in horror, but then noticed something out of the corner of his eye. The Uruk-Hai's on the Causeway were now ramming into the door with a battering ram. "Uh-oh...The Deeping Wall is destroyed, Marth is most likely dead, The Uruk-Hai's are gonna try and break down the door..." He turned towards Nana. "You have any ideas?"

Nana gulped. "Nope..."

"...Shit..."

To Be Continued...

A/N-Walks in with Purple Monkey- ...What happened here? I leave you guys to go write a Survivor story for a few weeks and you complete destroy the place!

Link: Cats attacked.

Purple Monkey: The Musical?