Hey everyone! Sorry it's taking me so long to update, but I'm so freakin'
busy because of school.I hate school. Well, I don't hate it, but I just
don't like it. Well, here's the next chapter. Enjoy!!!
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That night they had pickled pig's feet for dinner with a side of squid tentacles.
"I think I'm gonna puke," said Ron, as his face turned a sickly shade of green.
"Where's the bathroom?" asked Legolas. "I need to check my makeup-I mean hair!"
"Upstairs take a right at the third door and then go left at the fifth door and you'll go up a flight of stairs, go up six more flights then take a left go down the hall and turn another left when you get to the fork in the road. Then all you have to do is go over the hill and there it is," said Gomez.
They all stared at him.
"I think we'll just look around and find it ourselves," said Legolas. They got up and left.
Ron leaned against the fireplace about an hour later. "Slow down, mate!" he panted. "You're going too fast."
"Why is everything so difficult to find in this house?" said Legolas more to himself. He didn't notice the fireplace turn around with Ron on it. "What do you think-Ronald? Mr. Weasley, where are you?"
Ron ended up in a dark hallway. The fireplace wouldn't turn back, so he had only one choice: to go down the hallway.
Suddenly he saw a hand crawling toward him on the ground.
"AAAAHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!" he screamed. He turned around to run but the fireplace wouldn't move. So instead he ran towards the dismembered hand, leaped over it, and ran screaming.
"RONALD CLARICE WEASLEY!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!" Legolas yelled at the top of his lungs.
"Geez, what're ya yelling about?" said Jack, who was enjoying his pickled pig's feet. Legolas was on the other side of the dining room.
"How the heck did I end up back here?"
"You've been walking back and forth for hours."
"No I haven't!!! I've been all over this stupid house and still haven't found the powder-I mean bathroom!"
"Legolas wears makeup!" said Pippin in a sing-song voice.
"I do not! Now where is Ronald Clarice Weasley?"
"CLARICE????" everyone said in unison.
"Yes, Clarice. I read his diary once, that how I found out."
"You can't just read people's diaries!" said Sam.
"I read yours too shorty, want me to tell everyone what you said about Frodo?" Legolas said threateningly.
Sam was quiet.
Ron ran in suddenly, screaming, "The hands! The hands! They're after me!"
He ran back out of the room. He bumped into a strange man. "Do you know about the hands???" he asked the man.
The man just smiled and muttered something.
"That's Mr. Bean," said Wednesday. "He doesn't like to talk much. He's Mary Poppins' fiancé. And I think the hands you're talking about is just Thing. He's our family pet."
"You have a hand for a pet?" Ron shouted. Then he fainted.
Just then, a big hairy red thing came sliding into the room and sat down next to Legolas. Everyone expected him to scream at how freaky it looked, and he did. But not because he was freaky. It was because of his hair.
"LOOK AT THESE SPLIT ENDS!!!!" He yelled. "YOU HAVEN'T BEEN TAKING CARE OF YOUR HAIR!!! I KNOW JUST WHAT WILL FIX IT," he pulled out a bottle of shampoo that said, 'Herbal Essence.' "Come here and I'll give you a good washing."
Everyone stared as he began to shampoo the hairy thing's head.
"Um, what exactly is that thing?" asked Harry.
"Cousin It," said Pugsly. "He never cut his hair once in his life."
"I got the pizza!" Aragorn came in carrying a box of pizza.
"ALLEJUHIA GREAT BALLS OF FIRE WE'RE SAVED!!!!!!!!!!!!" said Taylor.
"And I didn't even get stuck in a phonebook!" said Aragorn triumphantly.
"I tried to tell you, it was a phone booth," corrected Legolas while combing through Cousin It's hair.
"Phone booth?" Aragorn's face went pale. "OH CRAP!!!!!!! I GOT STUCK IN A PHONE BOOTH ON MY WAY HERE!!!!!" He ran out the door shouting something about a sniper and the police.
Everyone else began to eat the pizza while Jack sat at the table eating the squid tentacles.
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That night they had pickled pig's feet for dinner with a side of squid tentacles.
"I think I'm gonna puke," said Ron, as his face turned a sickly shade of green.
"Where's the bathroom?" asked Legolas. "I need to check my makeup-I mean hair!"
"Upstairs take a right at the third door and then go left at the fifth door and you'll go up a flight of stairs, go up six more flights then take a left go down the hall and turn another left when you get to the fork in the road. Then all you have to do is go over the hill and there it is," said Gomez.
They all stared at him.
"I think we'll just look around and find it ourselves," said Legolas. They got up and left.
Ron leaned against the fireplace about an hour later. "Slow down, mate!" he panted. "You're going too fast."
"Why is everything so difficult to find in this house?" said Legolas more to himself. He didn't notice the fireplace turn around with Ron on it. "What do you think-Ronald? Mr. Weasley, where are you?"
Ron ended up in a dark hallway. The fireplace wouldn't turn back, so he had only one choice: to go down the hallway.
Suddenly he saw a hand crawling toward him on the ground.
"AAAAHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!" he screamed. He turned around to run but the fireplace wouldn't move. So instead he ran towards the dismembered hand, leaped over it, and ran screaming.
"RONALD CLARICE WEASLEY!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!" Legolas yelled at the top of his lungs.
"Geez, what're ya yelling about?" said Jack, who was enjoying his pickled pig's feet. Legolas was on the other side of the dining room.
"How the heck did I end up back here?"
"You've been walking back and forth for hours."
"No I haven't!!! I've been all over this stupid house and still haven't found the powder-I mean bathroom!"
"Legolas wears makeup!" said Pippin in a sing-song voice.
"I do not! Now where is Ronald Clarice Weasley?"
"CLARICE????" everyone said in unison.
"Yes, Clarice. I read his diary once, that how I found out."
"You can't just read people's diaries!" said Sam.
"I read yours too shorty, want me to tell everyone what you said about Frodo?" Legolas said threateningly.
Sam was quiet.
Ron ran in suddenly, screaming, "The hands! The hands! They're after me!"
He ran back out of the room. He bumped into a strange man. "Do you know about the hands???" he asked the man.
The man just smiled and muttered something.
"That's Mr. Bean," said Wednesday. "He doesn't like to talk much. He's Mary Poppins' fiancé. And I think the hands you're talking about is just Thing. He's our family pet."
"You have a hand for a pet?" Ron shouted. Then he fainted.
Just then, a big hairy red thing came sliding into the room and sat down next to Legolas. Everyone expected him to scream at how freaky it looked, and he did. But not because he was freaky. It was because of his hair.
"LOOK AT THESE SPLIT ENDS!!!!" He yelled. "YOU HAVEN'T BEEN TAKING CARE OF YOUR HAIR!!! I KNOW JUST WHAT WILL FIX IT," he pulled out a bottle of shampoo that said, 'Herbal Essence.' "Come here and I'll give you a good washing."
Everyone stared as he began to shampoo the hairy thing's head.
"Um, what exactly is that thing?" asked Harry.
"Cousin It," said Pugsly. "He never cut his hair once in his life."
"I got the pizza!" Aragorn came in carrying a box of pizza.
"ALLEJUHIA GREAT BALLS OF FIRE WE'RE SAVED!!!!!!!!!!!!" said Taylor.
"And I didn't even get stuck in a phonebook!" said Aragorn triumphantly.
"I tried to tell you, it was a phone booth," corrected Legolas while combing through Cousin It's hair.
"Phone booth?" Aragorn's face went pale. "OH CRAP!!!!!!! I GOT STUCK IN A PHONE BOOTH ON MY WAY HERE!!!!!" He ran out the door shouting something about a sniper and the police.
Everyone else began to eat the pizza while Jack sat at the table eating the squid tentacles.
